Witchcraft XII: In The Lair Of The Serpent (2002)

There may come a time when I look back on this foolish endeavour and wonder why the hell I put myself through it. Why would I become more and more determined to work my way through a series that jumped off a cliff during the first couple of instalments and never ever made it back even to a level of acceptable average(ness).

That time comes closer every week, but each instalment also makes me grit my teeth and become more determined to make it all the way through to the end.

Witchcraft XII: In The Lair Of The Serpent is just as bad as most of the films that preceded it. It's lazily slapped together, with a level of sound and visual quality that you could better nowadays on most mobile phones. And the slim plot would barely fill an episode of The Red Shoe Diaries, yet is stretched out here to feature length.

Jeff (Bruce Blauer) is out for a night of fun and alcohol with his sister, Cindy (Janet Keijser), when he disappears. Cindy enlists the help of her friend, Will Spanner (Chip James), to find her brother. It turns out that a group of attractive women are luring men back to their homes (AKA poorly-lit sets with strategically-placed dark curtains) and sacrificing them to fulfil an ancient prophecy.

Written and directed by Brad Sykes, this is a film that just avoids being one of the very worst, just like its predecessors, because it's not overlong, it tries to distract viewers with some gratuitous nudity, and the plotting is so inept that it's easy to laugh at in a way that keeps things relatively pain-free.

None of the cast do well. Blauer, Keijser, and James are just too dull, Joe Myles doesn't have enough time or material to make a good impression as the demonic Malleus, and a number of attractive blonde women (including Monika Wild and Tricia Berdot) even struggle to portray their complex characters of . . . attractive blonde women.

Once again, I can only recommend this to fellow sadomasochists and/or completists. This is a movie series only of interest because of how long it somehow managed to limp along, despite not having enough elements left to appeal to horror fans or enough sexual content to appeal to those after simple titillation.

2/10

Witchcraft XII: In The Realm Of The Serpent is available digitally, and I am sure some overpriced DVDs are still available.

Time to once again use this pic of nice witches NOT in this movie