The Heist Before Christmas (2023)

It's no big surprise to see that the director of The Heist Before Christmas has spent most of his career working on TV shows. That's not to denigrate the work of Edward Hall. It's just a generalisation that most Christmas movies, whether made for TV or not, feel more restricted than movies that aren't delivering the festive trimmings and a seasonal message. What is a bit more surprising is the fact that this is written by Ronan Blaney, who also did the superb A Good Woman Is Hard To Find. That does help to explain the grit and grime mixed in with the snow and Santa Claus outfits though.

Bamber Todd stars as young Mikey, a young lad who seems to have a chip on his shoulder. He spends his time trying to cause mischief and steal some odds and ends (spray snow, food, etc), which makes things even harder for his mother (Patricia, played by Laura Donnelly). Mikey also has a younger brother, Sean (Joshua McLees), and he is torn between being protective of him and wanting him to realise exactly how crappy their current situation is. Their mother is struggling to hold on to a job that doesn't pay her enough, but keeps her away from home for far too many hours, and Santa is unlikely to bring that bicycle that Sean has been wanting for so long. Or maybe he will, especially when someone dressed as Santa (James Nesbitt) robs a bank and then hides in some nearby woods with a bag stuffed full of cash. Mikey comes up with a plan, but things are complicated when he heads into those woods and finds another Santa (Timothy Spall). And that Santa believes that he is THE Santa.

I wouldn't recommend this to anyone after something distracting and heartwarming for this time of year. In comparison to many other dramas set over Christmas, including the classic Dickens text reworked many times over the past decades, this is grim stuff. There are children in peril for almost the entirety of the runtime, albeit in different ways, neither of the two Santas feel safe, and there's a second main storyline regarding Patricia and her boss (played by Lloyd Hutchinson) that is as tense and downbeat as any Ken Loach movie. 

That dark tone is all done to Blaney's script, but Hall directs it in a way that refuses to allow too much light to be seen at the end of the long tunnel. I understand the idea of keeping everything harsh and dark on the way to an ending that most will hope is light and satisfying, which makes it all the more disappointing when the final scenes don't quite do enough to make up for everything that came beforehand.

Both Todd and McLees do good work in their roles, and I believe both are newcomers to acting, although Todd has much more work to do, considering how abrasive his character is throughout. Donnelly is excellent, and her scenes with Hutchinson allow both to dig into the best and worst of the nature of Christmas for those already struggling, and both Nesbitt and Spall are as good as you expect, even with the latter putting on a strange accent in line with what he considers a more authentic portrayal of Santa Claus. The other characters worth mentioning are the main police officers on the case, played by Bronagh Waugh and Peter Rethinasamy. 

It's not that this is a waste of your time, and it's not that this is a bad feature. It's just that everyone has forgotten to make the destination worth what is quite a cold and difficult journey.

5/10

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