The Naughty Nine (2023)

This is the story of Andy (Winslow Fegley), a young criminal mastermind who is so good at what he does that he ends up on Santa's naughty list. Determined to right what he sees as a terrible injustice, Andy assembles a team of other kids on the naughty list, each one possessing a different particular talent to add to the team, and enlists the help of an airplane pilot to get them all to Santa's village in an attempt to pull off the most important hesit of their lives. The clock is ticking, and the odds are stacled against them, but if anyone can do it, Andy can.

It can sometimes still seem strange nowadays when you stumble across a movie on a streaming service that has a modern sheen, but otherwise feels like the kind of cheap schedule-filler from a few decades ago that would have passed some time before disappearing from your mind, and from the listings, within a matter of weeks. The Naughty Nine is one of those movies. There's nothing inherently wrong with it, and younger viewers should be kept amused and entertained for the runtime, but there's nothing especially right about it either, barring a pleasingly brief runtime of approximately 83 minutes.

Jed Elinoff and Scott Thomas continue to deliver screenplay results as a team, putting together the most formulaic and tame Christmas adventure that you could ask for. Actually, that's not strictly true. The film starts with a pretty great little school-set heist, as Andy and his bestie, Dulce (Camila Rodriguez), free a selection of confiscated toys they can then return to their rightful owners, but it's all a bit downhill after that.

Director Alberto Belli does what he needs to do, which basically means moving around often enough between the enjoyably diverse team members and ensuring that viewers see a number of the details that make up the security measures of Santa's village. It's competent, but nothing more than that.

Fegley isn't a bad lead, although he and his fellow cast members suffer from often being made to act older than their young ages. There's an odd clash of the childish innocence and sophistication of the whole plan. Rodriguez is fine, Madilyn Kellam works well as the sibling who ends up dragged into the whole scheme, and Ayden Elijah stands out as he is shown being able to affect people while he does his own equivalent of the Puss In Boots "big eyes". Everyone else has fun, but maybe they feel as if they're having more fun than most viewers. Or maybe that's just me being so far removed from the target demographic.

The end delivers a fun cameo when Santa Claus finally appears, but also delivers a final scene that feels strangely irritating in what it seems to be setting up. Overall, however, most people should find this to be a pretty inoffensive time-waster. It's just a shame that it wasn't a bit better.

4/10

If you have enjoyed this, or any other, review on the blog then do consider the following ways to show your appreciation. A subscription/follow costs nothing.
It also costs nothing to like/subscribe to the YouTube channel attached to the podcast I am part of - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCErkxBO0xds5qd_rhjFgDmA
Or you may have a couple of quid to throw at me, in Ko-fi form - https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews
Or Amazon is nice at this time of year - https://www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/ls/Y1ZUCB13HLJD?ref_=wl_share