Tarot (2024)

I think I need to clarify something at the very start of this review. I didn’t like Tarot. Not only did I dislike it, it is one of those slick and tame horror movies that embodies the worst of modern horror. There’s even a moment that makes use of my favourite trope to laugh at (the train that can quietly sneak up on someone while going along at great speed). But, and this is a big but (because I often like big buts and I cannot lie), there were elements here that I appreciated, and would have loved to see incorporated in a better film.

The plot could be written on the back of a matchbox. Some youngsters find a deck of tarot cards, one reads the fortune for each of the friends, and then they start dying in ways that seem linked to those readings. That is it. There’s then a race against time to figure things out, and figure out a way to prevent any further deaths.

Adapted from a book, “Horrorscope” by Nicholas Adams, this lazy mess was both co-written and co-directed by Spenser Cohen and Anna Halberg, both seemingly unable to do more than the bare minimum for the material. The dialogue is often inane, the plotting doesn’t have enough distractions around a few decent set-pieces, and the screen is often darker than my soul, which is a shame when you actually get a chance to enjoy some of the production design.

The cast are almost all eminently forgettable, this is unlikely to be a big break for any of them, with the only two standouts being Jacob Batalon and Avantika, only because I have been familiar with them in other film roles. If Batalon’s character was played by anyone else then he could have easily been far too annoying, and he comes close as it is. Harriet Slater and Adain Bradley get most of the screentime, compared to everyone else in their core group, but viewers will just want them to get out of the way while they try to get a better view of the tarot card characters.

Those characters are a big plus for the film, with the design of them making up for the poor editing choices and inconsistency of their methodology. It wouldn’t have taken much to turn this into something decent, either showcasing the characters in a better way or, alternatively, hiding them away to make the set-pieces more in line with some Final Destination moments. Cohen and Halberg go for the easiest and laziest options though, and the end result is a missed opportunity that never gives you anything to fully appreciate. 

And yet . . . I STILL preferred this to The First Omen. Which probably says enough to make people completely ignore my opinions on recent horror movies.

4/10

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