There were three things I didn’t know when I decided to press play on The Lost Episode. First of all, it was directed by Michael Rooker. I thought it might have been someone different with the same name, but no, it is THAT Michael Rooker. Second, it has about half a dozen alternate titles and is part of some loosely-connected series of ultra-low-budget horror movies. Third, it’s absolutely awful.
Although one or two movies have angered me recently, The Lost Episode takes the prize for the laziest and most insulting movie I have seen this year. It’s clear that, yet again, people came up with this idea and decided that unfussy horror fans will still swallow this down like a sugar-coated lump of animal faeces.
The plot is simple. A group of people enter an apparently haunted building and start poking around. Ghosts soon join them, but logic never does.
Surprisingly, there is supposed to be a proper script, written by Joe Nelms and Sue Bailey, although I am not sure how much effort they put into the actual dialogue (which is awful . . . especially coming from people who have actually written one proper movie that I enjoy before this, the very amusing Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday The Thirteenth). Almost every minute of this is terrible, terribly dull, and featuring characters it is impossible to care about.
I am not going to mention any of the cast here, mainly because I don’t want to be too negative and nasty towards a bunch of people I doubt I will see in any major lead roles, although I am surprised by how many movie credits some of them have. Nobody does good work here, but I am going to put all of the blame on the broad shoulders of Rooker, who directs with all the style and skill of a dropped bowl of mashed potato.
I really like Rooker, I often love Rooker, but this attempt to move from acting into directing is an absolute disaster. Visuals are crude and ugly throughout, and there’s never a feeling of anyone really being at the helm. It is unsurprising, and quite a relief, to see that Rooker hasn’t tried his hand at directing anything else. Maybe he did this as a challenge, or a favour, but it’s clear that he is much more suited to being in front of the camera (which he also manages here, somehow directing himself in one of his worst onscreen performances).
One to avoid at all costs, and truly one of the worst films I have ever seen, not even saved by the relatively short runtime under 80 minutes. I know that some people will read this review and think “it can’t be THAT bad”. It is. If you decide to check it out for yourself then don’t say that you weren’t warned.
1/10
If you have enjoyed this, or any other, review on the blog then do consider the following ways to show your appreciation. A subscription/follow costs nothing.
It also costs nothing to like/subscribe to the YouTube channel attached to the podcast I am part of - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCErkxBO0xds5qd_rhjFgDmA
Or you may have a couple of quid to throw at me, in Ko-fi form - https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews
Or Amazon is nice at this time of year - https://www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/ls/Y1ZUCB13HLJD?ref_=wl_share
No comments:
Post a Comment