Friday, 5 October 2012

Bloodlust Zombies (2011)

Written and directed by Dan Lantz, who also stars as an office security guard, Bloodlust Zombies is a low budget slice of zombie action, as if you couldn't guess from the title. It features some blood and gore that seems cheap and fake, pretty bad acting from everyone involved (with the exception of Lauren Todd, who is stuck delivering some poor lines but makes her character a very likeable one) and a general feeling of the thing overstaying its welcome even though it just clocks in at about 72 minutes in length.

The problem with zombie movies nowadays would seem to be that everyone thinks they can make one for very little money and with very little effort. That's maybe being a bit harsh on Lantz, who does actually pepper his film with some amusing little moments and lines, but it's a fair point to make in an age when anyone can pick up a digital camera at a fairly cheap price and try to create something that they hope will launch their career in movies.

Bloodlust Zombies takes place entirely in one building, a building in which people have been making a biological weapon. Can you guess what that biological weapon does? Oh yes, this is something that has been created to drop on wartime enemies and make them mindlessly attack each other instead of American soldiers. The testing has gone well and the staff are celebrating with champagne and shenanigans when an accident occurs that puts the building into lockdown and starts a small scale zombie epidemic.

There are a number of people onscreen but most of them are hard to care about. Adam Danoff is occasionally amusing as a ridiculously horny male office worker, Lantz has some fun in his security guard role but spoils it by constantly bemoaning about how it should have been his day off (an obvious reference, I assume, to Clerks) and Robert Heath, Catherine White and Janice Marie are average at best in their roles. As mentioned above, it's only Lauren Todd who makes a good impression.

The biggest name in the cast is Alexis Texas, best known for her work in the adult movie industry. Thea Alexis Samper, to use her real name, couldn't have been picked for her acting because she is, I'm sorry to say, absolutely awful. She's easily the worst offender onscreen and it would seem that nobody told her that acting in movies requires a slightly different approach to acting in hardcore adult movies. In fact, I have no idea why she's in the movie. She spends quite a bit of her screentime topless but a) there are many actresses trying to make their way into movies that will do nudity so it couldn't have been hard to find someone sexy AND able to act and b) anyone wanting to see the lady in a state of undress will be able to see far more of her in the likes of Naughty College Schoolgirls 42, Bad Ass Booty, Apple Bottom Snow Bunnies and The Naughty Cheerleaders Club (all titles randomly selected from her filmography on IMDb and all titles I was completely unaware of until writing this view so keep your sniggering to a minimum, please).

So with the poor script, bargain basement production values, lack of characters to care about and a main role that allows for a porn start to . . . . . . . . . . . get topless what does the movie have to offer undemanding film fans? There are, as I said, a few amusing moments and lines in the script but that's about all that the film has going for it and it's not enough to make a viewing worthwhile. Far from the worst thing that I've ever seen, but that's only because I've seen so many really BAD movies over the years, but not one that I'd ever recommend to others.


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