Sunday 31 July 2022

Netflix And Chill: Irresistible (2020)

Along with the downsides of the various streaming services we now have available to us, there are many upsides. Yes, it can be hard to find some classics. Yes, the algorithms often dictate what is put front and centre, as well as what is being made in the never-ending quest to keep making content for people. Yes, digital censorship is something that irks me (those who know me will know how averse I am to any censorship of art). But you have that availability of a wide range of movies and TV shows, you have that convenience of so much being at your fingertips, and you can plan a whole day around an occasional binge without having to move from the sofa (with the exception of toilet breaks and any food requirements, obviously). You can also eventually decide to check out a film that had been released a while ago, without too much notable fanfare, and find yourself very pleasantly surprised by an absolute gem. That's what happened when I watched Irresistible, a film I was drawn to because of the cast, but never drawn to enough to actually seek out until it was sitting there, right in front of my eyes and just one click away from instant watchability.

After suffering a bruising defeat in the 2016 election campaign, spin doctor Gary Zimmer (Steve Carell) doesn't quite know how to recover. He realises how far out of touch the Democrats were, but doesn't know how to create any kind of bridge across the widening social and political divide. That changes when he sees a viral video of Jack Hastings (Chris Cooper) speaking up at a small town meeting. Hastings represents something akin to a big second chance, he's a Democrat with a strong sense of what is right, living according to his faith and the values that he held throughout his military career. He seems like a perfect candidate for the position of mayor. Although he agrees to that, and to have his campaign headed up by Zimmer, Hastings perhaps doesn't realise how quickly his small Wisconsin town will become a major political battleground. Zimmer knows how serious things are getting when his major opponent, Faith Brewster (Rose Byrne), arrives to help the current mayor (Brent Sexton), and everyone soon starts to become dizzy from the constant spinning.

Written and directed by Jon Stewart, a smart and funny guy I have been a fan of for some time, Irresistible is a film that plays out for most of the runtime like a very pleasant and comfortable comedy drama. It's a bit Mr. Smith Goes To Washington and a bit Wag The Dog, but the overall message delivered, overtly with the dialogue and more subtly with the various characters and atmosphere created throughout a number of scenes, is one well worth delivering, repeatedly. This is a film that appears to be critical of a certain side of the political divide, and it IS (many times), but it's also a film that pleads for people to agree that fair play, truth, and a desire to clean up the political landscape should all be achievable, and bipartisan, targets. There's also an ending that underlines just how worried we should be about the way modern elections are conducted in the USA, although the same applies to other major countries (including here in the UK).

Carell is excellent in his role, constantly moving between pleasantries and cursewords with the same smile often fixed on his face. The smile grows more and more forced as things look as if they might unravel for him, and Carell just gets funnier and sharper as he aims to keep making progress without anyone seeing how fast he is paddling beneath the surface of the water. Byrne is equal to him, playing someone who is even more determined, and seemingly less scrupulous, in a role that makes great use of her cool demeanour AND her comedy chops. Cooper is wonderfully good-hearted and optimistic about things, and Mackenzie Davis plays his daughter as someone who is, well, very much his daughter. I will keep harping on and on about Davis being long overdue the big breakout role to make her the star that I think she already is, but I'm also happy enough to see her doing great work in a film this good. Topher Grace and Natasha Lyonne are a lot of fun as people who interpret data in different ways, and hope to use that data to help Carell get Hawkins his mayoral role, and the rest of the supporting cast is made up of people who may be less familiar, but are no less suited to their roles.

The more I think about Irresistible, the more I struggle to find anything I would change about it. It does spend some time in an echo chamber, because it is often preaching to the converted, but part of the journey for Carell’s character is noticing that echo chamber, those ideological bubbles, and trying to break out. And it ultimately shows that most of us are united by common problems we could fix if we worked together, as opposed to being pitted against our neighbours by politicians who value winning ahead of effectively serving the needs of their constituents.

9/10

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I also have no idea what they did to Mackenzie Davis for this poster image.

Saturday 30 July 2022

Shudder Saturday: Offseason (2021)

Writer-director Mickey Keating has been delivering interesting horror fare to viewers for just over a decade now. The fact that I have only seen one of his other films so far (the enjoyable Pod) is a reflection of my own tardiness, and not any kind of verdict on Keating's work. And having enjoyed Offseason even more than Pod, I really need to get through more of his filmography.

What you have here is the tale of someone tying up some affairs after the death of their mother. Marie (Jocelin Donahue) and her partner, George (Joe Swanberg), have to travel to a small island town, fulfilling some last wishes that make no sense to Marie. Her mother, Ava (Melora Walters), had often spoken of the place in a way that made clear she never wanted to go back there, and Marie soon starts to see her point of view, with the town being a strange and cold place. Is it her state of mind, or is there something wrong with the place?

This is, in a lot of ways, what you expect it to be. It's a low-budget horror movie that prioritises the cast and quieter interactions ahead of any big scares. Keating does himself a big favour with his casting, but he also paces things nicely, building atmosphere and a sense of dread in between moments that deliver some enjoyably unexpected scares (or spooky strangeness). Although he obviously doesn't have the resources that other film-makers might have available to them, Keating does his best to ensure that everything looks and sounds as it should. The visual style may be a bit flat, but that is easy to forgive when you realise that Keating has held back in a way that allows some third act moments to make a much stronger impact.

Donahue is an excellent lead, someone that viewers can easily stay alongside and root for, and Swanberg gives another good performance in the kind of supporting role he seems to be so good with. Walters has to be a bit more on edge and strained than most of the other people onscreen, but she plays her part well. There are also a number of great little turns from some familiar, and some not so familiar, faces, with Jeremy Gardner being a slight scene-stealer yet again and Richard Brake bringing his inimitable air of quiet menace to the table.

If you're after something that's not tied to some big names, in terms of the property or the way it is marketed, then I highly recommend checking this out. The imperfection of it just adds to the charm, and major bonus points to Keating for also delivering an ending that feels like a proper ending (something that used to be lacking from every indie horror movie I watched for a few years). It's not entirely original, it's not all wrapped up in a neat bow, but it does enough to stand out from the crowd, with cast and crew all doing their bit to make something that feels like a real hidden gem. Do your bit to uncover it, and share the pleasing glimmer of it with others.

8/10

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Friday 29 July 2022

The Heroin Busters (1977)

I am not going to start this review by giving a full description of poliziotteschi movies, aka Eurocrime flicks from a certain “golden age” of Italian exploitation cinema, but that’s mainly because I have waited far too long to fully explore the movies myself. I have seen two others, I think, and the very enjoyable documentary that celebrates them, but it has long been a blind spot in my cinema knowledge. Once again, there are only so many hours in each day, it can be tough to fit in viewings of everything you want to see. Especially when you want to see everything.

Here are a few things I expected though, and The Heroin Busters delivered. I wanted tough cops who would damn the rule book to hell while pursuing bad guys. I wanted some moments that felt enjoyably random, most probably featuring sex or violence. I wanted stuntwork that puts actors in the kind of peril that would never be covered by insurance in any mainstream movie. And I wanted a ruggedly handsome lead who could be an angel or a bastard, depending on what approach he thought might get the best results. 

In an attempt to get to the top of the drug dealer tree and shake some very bad apples into prison, one determined cop (played by David Hemmings) ends up working an operation that has an undercover agent (Fabio Testi) convincingly portraying someone who wants to start moving up the criminal food chain. That’s all you need to know, and that is all groundwork being laid for a third act that is essentially a 20/30-minute chase sequence.

I have seen other films from director Enzo G. Castellari, who also wrote the script with Massimo De Rita, but nothing in this vein, and I am pleased I made time for this one in my recent viewing schedule. It is exactly what I wanted it to be, and builds from a fairly steady and normal opening act towards a finale stuffed full of great moments, with the stuntwork planned around various locations and vehicles.

Hemmings is gruff and determined, seemingly enjoying himself in a role that gives him less screentime without diminishing his presence, and Testi emanates the kind of cool charisma that assures you of his star status from his earliest scenes. He’s superb in the main role, and ends up involved in some entertainingly danger-filled moments (and I don’t just mean his character, he was definitely asked to take some risks for some of the key sequences). Joshua Sinclair is a fun villain, but there are also a few other supporting players who are very effective when it comes to filling out the “rogue’s gallery” of addicts, henchmen, and drug dealers.

Music from Goblin is another plus, although whether they even bothered about matching the audio to the visuals is something I wouldn’t like to bet money on, and you also have the usual selection of fashions and cool affectations from 1970s Italy, which helps to keep things entertaining throughout the relatively slow first half of the film.

I am just going to assume that this isn’t the best film of this kind, mainly because of the time it takes to get to the most rewarding scenes, but you could do a hell of a lot worse if, like me, you are just starting to dip your toes into those poliziotteschi waters. I had a blast with it, and I already want to give it a rewatch.

8/10

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Thursday 28 July 2022

Hell High (1989)

The only feature film directed by Douglas Grossman, co-written with Leo Evans (who has this listed on IMDb as his only writing credit), Hell High is the kind of mess you get when people try, a bit too late, to cash in on a craze that they don't really view as a challenge. Because, as many of them as we had throughout the 1980s, every slasher movie fan knows that a GOOD slasher movie is a lot harder to deliver than a bad one. Hell High is a pretty bad one, and many people might not view it as a slasher at all, but I am going to class it within that sub-genre because that's the only way to give it credit for some positives.

It starts with a tragic accident. Most slasher movies do. We then move forward by a few decades. Miss Brooke Storm (Maureen Mooney) is the adult version of the young girl we saw just witnessing a majorly traumatic event, and now she works as a teacher. Having embarrassed one of her students, Dickens (Christopher Stryker), in front of the whole class, Miss Storm doesn't realise that she will be the target of some very malicious revenge. One thing leads to another, Miss Storm ends up almost comatose, there's a squirm-inducing scene of sexual assault (some may view it as attempted assault, many will agree with me that it's horribly successful and disturbing), and it all ends with someone apparently dying. That's when the murders properly begin, all crammed into a third act that never truly rewards viewers for making it through the rest of the film. 

The biggest problem with Hell High is that it doesn’t quite know how to best be what it so clearly wants to be. There are some slasher movie touchstones (the opening trauma, the catalyst for a dark revenge plot, the moment when an unhinged character just gives in to murderous impulses), but they are bogged down in a plot that spends far too much time on drama and bickering between numerous actors all trying to pass themselves off as high school students.

Stryker benefits from the fact that he is playing the nasty ringleader of a group, and Millie Prezioso benefits from being the one female member, Queenie, but both Christopher Cousins and Jason Brill barely make any impression, which is really saying something when Cousins proves to be the character that viewers end up spending more time with during some important moments. And then there’s Mooney, who doesn’t do terrible work, despite the script having her more restrained for a fair chunk of the runtime when having her be all-out raging and murderous is clearly the better option.

It’s obvious that the biggest problem here is a misguided script by Evans and Grossman, and I am absolutely not surprised that this was their last feature film (some are destined for greatness, some are destined to give us one or two oddities before finding their calling elsewhere), but the direction from Grossman doesn’t help matters at all. Every major decision seems to forget that a film like benefits from decent pacing, fluctuating levels of energy, a standout death or two, and maybe even some witty homages that show those involved at least know the territory they have decided to make their mark in.

Absolutely forgettable, disappointingly incompetent in a way that doesn’t even prove laughable, as it is just too flat throughout, and full of moments that you can tell we’re just misjudged (in tone and/or execution), Hell High is not one I can recommend to even the most undemanding of slasher movie fans. And we’re generally not a very demanding lot anyway.

3/10

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Wednesday 27 July 2022

Prime Time: The Escort (2016)

Michael Doneger plays Mitch, a young man who isn't where he wants to be in life, having just been fired from his job, as well as receiving constant criticism from his best friend, JP (Tommy Dewey), about his slight sex addiction issue. Tasked with presenting a worthwhile piece of journalism to secure a new job, Mitch ends up involved with Natalie, a high-class, well-educated escort who might actually cause Mitch to reflect on his own life as he finds out more and more about her.

What you get here isn’t new, and it is something we will see again and again. The Escort, despite trying to appear much more risqué than other films it could sit alongside, is a standard rom-com that had two seemingly incompatible characters realising just how well they can work together.

Director Will Slocombe tries his best, walking a fine line to portray some of the sexual encounters without it feeling gratuitous or too much like simple titillation, and he also seems to be working hard to make the best end product possible on a relatively low budget. There aren’t really any big names to help things along (although Bruce Campbell is very well used in his small supporting role, playing Mitch’s father) and the tone throughout is never radically altered in favour of an “easier sell”.

As admirable as not taking the easy option is, writer Brandon Cohen (fleshing out the story idea from Doneger) also does everyone a slight disservice by skirting around moments that could have easily increased the comedy quotient of the film. As already mentioned, Campbell is great, but he’s only onscreen for a few scenes. The same could be said for the character played by Dewey, someone who could have added some more friction and laughs, but is instead underused. And a cursing little sister (played by Rachel Resheff)? Yep, underused. The same goes for a landlord at the end of his patience (played by Juan Carlos Cantu). On the one hand, I get it. Keep the focus on Doneger and Fonseca. And try to stop this from feeling too close to a teen sex comedy. On the other hand, a rom-com really needs the rom and the com, and the latter could have really helped the former.

The leads are decent, but there’s a sad lack of chemistry between them. It is the supporting cast who have all the fun though, with everyone I just mentioned above doing generally great work. Dewey is probably the least effective of the main cast members, but that is the fault of a script that does even less with him than it does with the others. There are also a number of actors doing their best “major douchebag” turns while paying for the company of Fonseca’s character, which I guess helps to make her like our leading man more, by default.

Although I personally didn’t think the film needed to miss so many opportunities for laughs, I appreciate the attempt to present some young adults discussing various approaches to sex in a positive and open way. The Escort may not be a film to love, and I doubt I will ever rewatch it, but it certainly provides more talking points than your average rom-com. There just wasn’t quite enough honey coating the underbaked platter of genitalia-shaped cookies at the heart of it. And there’s another sentence I never thought I would write.

6/10

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Tuesday 26 July 2022

Monstrous (2022)

Chris Sivertson has been making movies for just over two decades now. Which you might not realise after watching Monstrous (or reading any past reviews of his work from myself, when I would consistently mis-spell his surname). It's not that this is a bad film. It's a film based around an idea, from writer Carol Chrest, that Sivertson obviously thought was strong enough to carry the whole thing. Sadly, that's not the case.

Christina Ricci stars as Laura, mother to young Cody (Santino Barnard). The two have just moved into a new home, rented from Mr. and Mrs. Langtree (played by Don Durrell and Colleen Camp), and it's quite clear from the earliest scenes that things aren't normal and pleasant. Laura seems to have her daily routine interrupted by strange visions that don't make sense, and she likes to take the edge off her stress with alcohol, while Cody seems to be unable to make any new friends, with the possible exception of someone he claims lives in the lake right beside their home.

That's all I'll write to describe the plot. It's all you need, and it's all the film presents for the majority of the runtime. Chrest is credited with two films to her name, as a writer, and her last film, The Prophet's Game, was over twenty years ago. I haven't seen that one, but the gap in between her two main features helps to explain why Monstrous feels like a debut. Aside from Ricci in the main role and some nice touches throughout (from the costume and makeup to the overall production design), there's nothing here to recommend this to anyone who has already seen more than a dozen movies in their lifetime. Sivertson incorrectly puts his faith in the material, but he saves himself from complete embarrassment by also putting his faith in Ricci.

Acting as a woman who is trying to maintain a facade of exemplary parenting while barely keeping her neuroses from piling up and suffocating her, Ricci is superb. Doing her best interpretation of a typical '50s housewife, albeit one trying to stay as far away as possible from an apparently abusive ex-husband, Ricci is constantly ready to act deferential and politely smile at people around her while she attempts to find the time to repeatedly piece her sanity together. Barnard does well enough as the young boy who may be seeing a bigger picture than his mother can make out, but he might have been able to make a stronger impression if he wasn't the main character who suffers most from Chrest's writing. Durrell doesn't have too much to do, but Camp at least gets to portray someone who is very suspicious and unhelpful, to the point of being someone you suspect may prove to be the straw that breaks the camel's back (and I hope Ricci never accidentally stumbles across this review and resents me for referring to her as anything akin to a camel).

Sivertson is a decent film-maker. I have enjoyed other movies from him, although All Cheerleaders Die is much more fun than I Know Who Killed Me, and I hope to enjoy whatever he delivers in the future. This didn't hit the mark though. The atmosphere doesn't really work, there's a lack of any real tension, and the grand finale doesn't do nearly enough to reward viewers for their patience. Ricci fans will find her performance a big plus. Everyone else should avoid this altogether.

3/10

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Monday 25 July 2022

Mubi Monday: Never Steady, Never Still (2017)

In an ideal world, Shirley Henderson is recognised by everyone as an actress who is one of the absolute best of her generation. The fact that she doesn't have more leading roles worthy of her immense talent is a travesty, but I hope those who appreciate her work look beyond her supporting turns and seek out films such as Wilbur Wants To Kill Himself and Intermission, both showing different aspects of the range she can deliver. They should also definitely check out this film, a tale of a troubled family and a woman struggling through every day while her Parkinson's disease makes even the simplest tasks quite difficult to manage.

Henderson is Judy, the aforementioned woman. Things get more difficult for Judy when she loses her husband, who would also help to care for her. Her son, meanwhile (Jamie, played by Théodore Pellerin), is working away at an oil field, an environment full of toxic masculinity that forces him to consider his identity and sexuality. Both mother and son end up being helped by Kaly (Mary Galloway), a young girl who works at a local store, and there’s a hope that maybe the main characters can leave burned bridges behind them as they forge some strong new connections.

Written and directed by Kathleen Hepburn, adapting her 2015 short into feature length, this is the kind of film that makes me immediately want to further explore the filmography of the person who made it. Hepburn easily depicts interesting moments of human connection and exploration without stumbling over into the realm of the pretentious, and she has helped herself immensely by casting the main roles perfectly.

This is a quiet film, but it’s not trying to avoid dialogue. Lonely people who are struggling don’t have much to say, but they can, and do, make up for that when other people are around. Sometimes those conversations seem unimportant, sometimes they seem to be trying to tackles ideas the speaker cannot really find the right words for, but they all come with a certain amount of weight to them.

Having already mentioned how much I like Henderson,  it is probably obvious to anyone reading this that I loved her performance here. She portrays her constant battle against Parkinson’s disease, and it is played like a battle, with a mix of frustration, resilience, occasional helplessness, and dignity. The obvious physical work doesn’t seem unnatural or overdone, and it’s basically just another absolute masterclass from someone who can rarely makes any wrong choices. Pellerin does well enough in his role, and it’s good that his character is placed in a strange limbo. He’s lost in a number of different ways, and the performance reflects the nature of someone completely unsure of who they really are, or want to be. Galloway comes along at just the right time to help brighten up the film, and her ability to show how shy and sweet her character is allows for the whole film to offer the promise of optimism that isn’t ever made explicit.

I am sure that many could watch this film and really dislike it. It has intimate camerawork and a visual style best described as a bit murky, and those who watch a lot of independent cinema will recognise the usual hallmarks of such fare, despite the content being a bit different from many others. I loved it though. I loved the performances, I loved the way the main difficulties were depicted, and I loved getting to the end of the film and realising I could have happily spent some more time in the company of these characters.

8/10

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Sunday 24 July 2022

Netflix And Chill: The Gray Man (2022)

As soon as I finished watching The Gray Man last night, I smiled. Because it's a film that is as easy to review as it was easy to throw together. I'm not saying that everything onscreen here is a piece of cake, not when it comes to the technical side of things, but it makes use of a cast with obvious talent to tell a story we've seen 100 times before. So I am going to say that the Russo brothers (Anthony and Joe) felt quite at ease while filming this. I'm sure it also helped that Joe Russo worked on the script with fellow MCU workers Chrisopher Markus and Stephen McFeely.

Ryan Gosling plays Six, a highly-skilled assassin/agent who was released from prison many years ago by Fitzroy (Billy Bob Thornton) when the latter realised he could make great use of a killer with a strong moral compass. When his latest job doesn't go to plan, Six finds out that his most recent target was Four, another agent like himself, and he was being killed because he had dirt on the new person in charge (Carmichael, played by Regé-Jean Page). Six then becomes a wanted man, and Carmichael has no qualms about using the sociopathic Lloyd Hansen (Chris Evans) to hunt him down. Lloyd won't care about collateral damage, despite the protestations of the woman who is supposed to help oversee this "off the books" op, Suzanne Brewer (Jessica Henwick). A young girl gets caught up in the whole scheme (Fitzroy's niece, Claire, played by Julia Butters), and Six ends up being given some valuable assistance by agent Dani Miranda (Ana de Armas). That covers pretty much everything, and actually gives you more than you need to know. This is an extended chase movie, and it's one that moves nicely from one set-piece to the next, making the 2+ hour runtime less noticeable than it otherwise would be.

Here are a selection of things I decided were most worthy of mentioning about The Gray Man.

1. Drones are a blight on the action movie landscape, and will do for them what smartphone cameras did for horror movies over the last decade or so. 

2. Ryan Gosling continues to be one of my favourite leading men, despite (or maybe because of) playing safely within his seemingly limited range.

3. Chris Evans also continues to be one of my favourite leading men, and we'll all be much better off if he gets to have more entertainingly villainous roles like this one. He's a man who really knows the value of delivering threats with a big smile and a twinkle in his eye.

4. Ana de Armas is a star, and I hope she continues to make hay while the sun shines. I also keep being reminded that there are a number of films from earlier in her career that I need to check out.

5. The Russo brothers CAN shoot action well, but you wouldn't know that from some of the main sequences here. Some of the action is nicely shot, but far too much of it is too choppily edited, too busy with so many elements being thrown around onscreen, and too focused on showcasing the filming style over showcasing the physical work being done by the leads (or their stunt doubles).

You should manage to have fun with The Gray Man. A surprisingly witty script, one that plays to the strengths of the leads, helps enormously, and every main player already mentioned does well in their role. There's also time for some good work from Dhanush (playing an agent named Avik San) and the great Alfre Woodard. It's not very original, which isn't a big problem when it aims to just consistently entertain, but it also never really feels like the stakes are high. Six is an unstoppable machine, even if he manages to maintain that identity with a hell of a lot of help from Miranda, and the last few scenes underline this by being sorely predictable and anti-climactic.

I'd watch another film making use of these characters in this kind of situation, but everyone knows how easily pleased I can be. This was a decent bit of witty action, but it was nothing great. I'm just thankful that the Russo brothers at least cast the best people they could for the main roles.

6/10

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Saturday 23 July 2022

Shudder Saturday: Castle Freak (1995)

In a stroke of typical bad luck for characters who may not realise they are in a horror movie, Castle Freak shows a family unit inheriting a spacious castle that happens to house a dangerous creature inside, hence the title. The family aren't in the happiest place to start with, and things may get a lot worse as the full horror of their situation becomes apparent.

Directed by Stuart Gordon, who once again decided to work with Dennis Paoli on a loose adaptation of a story from H. P. Lovecraft (a well they revisited, with varying degrees of success, numerous times throughout their careers), Castle Freak may not be the best work from all those involved, both cast and crew, but it's a wonderfully unpretentious and nasty little horror movie.

Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton play John and Susan Reilly, temporarily moving into the castle with their blind daughter, Rebecca (Jessica Dollarhide), and the backstory delivered shows that John caused a car accident, while drunk, that caused Rebecca's blindness. That would be bad enough in itself, but Susan cannot forgive her husband for also causing the death of their son in the same accident. John is trying to stay sober now, obviously, but it might be too late for him to make a change that will change how his wife views him. Meanwhile, the creature that was once being secretly cared for in the castle is about to start making noises in the night that put the new occupants on edge, And it's getting hungry.

Moving between old-fashioned standard horror (dark castle corridors, rattling chains, unknown sounds occurring at night), blood-drenched nastiness (there are one or two bodies that eventually get munched on by the hungry creature), and entertaining melodrama (Combs struggles to maintain sobriety until he opts to fall off the wagon with a vengeance), Castle Freak is a strange blend of elements that somehow all works, mainly thanks to the safe hands of Gordon and Paoli. Both men know how to get just the right tone in the horror works that they also mine for humour, and they're helped by a couple of genre stars who can deliver exactly what is asked of them.

Combs is the star who gets to have the most fun here, whether he is being rebuffed by his wife or getting himself as drunk as possible at a local bar, and he has a number of entertaining confrontations, be it with the local police, a prostitute, or the dangerous presence viewers know will eventually show itself to everyone in the third act. Crampton, as much as I love her, has much less to do, but she still feels right in the role (perhaps because she pairs up so well with Combs, perhaps because she's just a genuinely great scream queen when the time comes for her to be placed in peril). Dollarhide does okay, and Elisabeth Kaza plays a maid, Agnese, who occasionally has more than a slight air of Frau Blücher (*insert horse whinny sound here*) about her. It's also vital to mention Jonathan Fuller, playing Giorgio AKA the creature, who gives an excellent physical performance under a hefty amount of makeup.

If you're a fan of Stuart Gordon, especially if you have enjoyed his other films starring Combs and Crampton, then you should find a lot to enjoy here. It's not on the same level as his best work, but it's still worth your time, especially when things start to get ramped up in the second half.

7/10

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Friday 22 July 2022

The Seventh Curse (1986)

Starting this review feels surprisingly daunting. As wild and enjoyable as it is, The Seventh Curse is also one of the most absolutely bonkers movies I have watched in some time. I want to sell it to other people, but I don’t want to spoil any of the treats contained within.

Let’s try a very basic plot summary. We get a lot of exposition in an extended flashback sequence. Dr. Yuen (Chin Siu-ho) is working away in the middle of a jungle area when he encounters a group of people conducting a ritual sacrifice. Not having any of it, Dr. Yuen interrupts the ritual and saves the woman who was due to be sacrificed. This is when he is given a blood curse, a series of explosive wounds that will harm him before the seventh results in death. The woman he saved manages to buy him a year of extra time, but that year is almost up. Dr. Yuen has to return to the jungle and defeat the powerful sorcerer who cursed him.

None of the above paragraph really gets to the heart of how truly mad The Seventh Curse is, although I hope you can imagine a lead character suddenly being pained by an explosive squid giving the impression that his body is being destroyed by strategic wounds signifying a countdown to death. There are some great action moments, the kind of sequences stuffed full of people you just know hurt themselves for the sake of the cinematic spectacle provided, and practical effects that make you think this was co-created by Frank Henenlotter.

Although I have seen a few other movies from writers Wong Jing and Yuen Gai-chi, this is my first from director Lam Ngai Kai. Considering I own at least one other title from him, and have already had The Cat recommended to me numerous times, it certainly won’t be my last. Kai gives equal time to every mad idea written into the script, ensuring that any weaknesses are overlooked in favour of the constant sense of, to use the technical term, whatthefuckery.

Siu-ho isn’t the strongest, or most charismatic, lead, but he is being followed by a character who is played by Maggie Cheung, which allows her to shine in a way that otherwise wouldn’t have worked if the Siu-ho had been dominating the screen. Chow Yun-Fat also has a supporting role, but it’s far from his best onscreen action, and you get Dick Wei and the brilliantly-named Elvia Tsui joining in with the fun, the latter especially entertaining as the evil sorcerer.

I don’t think this is one of my best reviews, apologies for that, and it can be harder to write about these films when you find it impossible to truly convey the full experience. Because a lot of this could be viewed as bad. The plotting is ridiculous, the characters are a bit weak, and people get themselves out of perilous situations in ways that are, let’s not pretend otherwise, frankly preposterous. But that all becomes part of the fun. As soon as you realise how the film is playing out then you can decide whether to go along with it or not. If you decide not to then that’s your loss. I had fun with it, and just writing about it now has made me want to revisit it already (partially because some of the scenes I have remembered already feel like the product of some wild fever-dream).

7/10

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Thursday 21 July 2022

Attack Of The 50 Foot CamGirl (2022)

There have been many films over the years that have shown us people of various unusual sizes, from men and women who have been shrunk down to a size smaller than ants, to people enlarged enough to tower over buildings around them. And, although this was hitherto unbeknownst to me, a few of those films have been made over the last 5-10 years, often placing an attractive female in the lead role.

Attack Of The 50 Foot CamGirl is exactly what you think it is. Ivy Smith plays Beverly Wood, a popular cam girl who is always looking to boost her viewership and ratings. She is managed by her scheming husband (played by Eli Cirino) and often feels threatened by her mistreated assistant, Fuschia (Christine Nguyen). And then a mishap leads to her having a very sudden growth spurt.

Written by Kent Roudenbush (and I will leave you to check out his filmography for yourself, but “highlights” from his body of work include Corona Zombies and Barrie & Kendra Save The Tiger King), the best thing about this movie is that it has a mercifully short runtime. I will say, however, that it also has a few moments of wit here and there, and embraces the very low budget in a way that gives it a certain charm.

The fact that Jim Wynorski is in the director’s chair also means that you’re going to get a fair bit of gratuitous nudity, with the man drawn to a large bust just as obsessively as Russ Meyer. He is another one of those directors who now has a filmography varying between adult-oriented fare and occasional cheap adventures churned out to please undemanding kids, but I am not going to pretend that I don’t enjoy most of his films for the same reason he probably enjoys directing them.

The cast give performances that could best be described as fitting this type of film (cheap ‘n’ cheerful). Smith is amusingly vain and vapid for most of the runtime, only starting to become more considerate, of herself and her situation, when her giant size requires her to rely on others for some proper help (and not just keeping her supplied with a constant stream of Cosmos). Nguyen is decent enough, playing her character with thin-lipped resentment until she gets to eventually drop the facade completely and let out some anger. Cirino is the villain of the piece, which is fairly obvious from the very beginning, and it’s interesting that his worsening behaviour is shown as an increased and more overt level of manipulation and gaslighting, basically just an amplification of how we have seen him act in every main scene at the start of the film. Lisa London, Frankie Cullen, and Jaret Sacrey play three scientists who inadvertently cause, and try to solve, the plight of our lead, and they provide a number of moments that may make easily-pleased viewers chuckle slightly. I chuckled slightly, once or twice.

This isn’t a good film. It isn’t made very well. It isn’t one I can imagine ever rewatching. But it works as an amusing enough distraction, a throwaway bit of fun that once again allows Wynorski to make use of a premise in a way that will best allow him to film some busty women cavorting around onscreen. Is it art? No. It feels like everyone onscreen probably helped out as much behind the camera, perhaps for the promise of some time spent in sunshine with snacks and drinks provided. But not all movies have to be art. Some just help you waste an hour with your brain switched off. This did that. Which means it did exactly what it set out to do.

4/10

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Wednesday 20 July 2022

Prime Time: Year One (2009)

Some films you just watch once and immediately forget about. Some films become firm favourites. Some films require a few viewings for you to really clarify your thoughts. And some films you end up watching a few times simply because you keep forgetting about it almost as soon as the end credits roll. Year One is in that latter category. This is my third time seeing it, and it is a film that really doesn’t warrant repeat viewings. The fact that I also own it is neither here nor there (it was cheap and I have a retail-based obsessive nature).

Jack Black and Michael Cera play Zed and Oh, respectively, two men from ancient times who end up banished from their tribe and encountering a bunch of famous biblical characters. One of them is famous brother-killer Cain (David Cross), one of them is famous son-sacrificer Abraham (Hank Azaria), and there are a whole lot of citizens of Sodom to deal with. That is all you need to know, although the men are also interested in romantically pursuing two female members of their tribe (played by June Diane Raphael and Juno Temple) and there are cameo roles for the likes of Xander Berkeley, Olivia Wilde, Vinnie Jones, Oliver Platt, and quite a few others.

I like Jack Black, despite the fact that many of his best-known movie roles are based around him doing his usual Jack Black schtick. I like Michael Cera, also not really known for his range. They just don’t work here though, feeling wrong in their lead roles and having no decent chemistry with one another. So that has the film starting off with a major disadvantage.

Director Harold Ramis (this was, sadly, the last feature he directed before his passing) seems to think that the script, co-written by himself, Lee Eisenberg, and Gene Stupnitsky, is full of chuckles that will be improved by the performers. He couldn’t be more wrong. The highlights come about despite the writing, many of the jokes are disappointingly obvious, and there are a few too many instances of toilet humour that feel all the worse for being inserted in between the few scenes that have actual wit. The best thing here is the ongoing story strand that allows Cain to remain a central character, but even that is slightly undermined by the fact that his first scenes are so good that it ends up going downhill from there.

As you might have guessed from that last sentence, Cross is a lot of fun in his role here, and arguably steals the movie. Aside from Black and Cera, the rest of the cast often try their best with weak material they are unable to greatly improve. Jones comes onscreen to be tough Vinnie Jones, Azaria is amusing enough for his few minutes, Berkeley had to sit around and look regal, which he does, and Wilde is a potential “fair maiden” alongside Raphael and Temple, with none of them getting to do more than look pretty enough to motivate our leads. Although you can question the choices made in his performance, it’s Oliver Platt who almost rivals Cross for the added comedy value provided, playing his character as a lusty hedonist who takes a fancy to Oh.

Not entirely without entertainment value, Year One is just a huge missed opportunity. What should have been a rapid-fire cavalcade of jokes, be they new, old, smart, or silly, just settles for being a vehicle built around two sorely miscast leads. It is telling that every decent laugh in the film comes from moments not focusing on the main characters.

3/10

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Tuesday 19 July 2022

The Bob's Burgers Movie (2022)

I have heard people say that you can enjoy The Bob’s Burgers Movie without having seen any of the series it stems from and, while that is true, I would have to disagree slightly. I have only seen the first few episodes, so far, but that allowed me to know the essence of the various main characters from the very start of this feature, which in turn helped me to enjoy the movie even more than I am sure I otherwise would have.

Bob (H. Jon Benjamin) is once again in a bit of a pickle, no pun intended. The burger restaurant isn’t doing great, the bank won’t allow a time extension on a loan due to be repaid, and then, to top it all off, a large sinkhole appears right in front of their main entrance. That sinkhole even reveals a body, a murder victim. This spurs the kids - Louise (Kristen Schaal), Tina (Dan Mintz), and Gene (Eugene Mirman) - to investigate, primarily because they want to clear the name of their landlord and avoid losing their home and business. Meanwhile, Linda (John Roberts) just wants to help her husband feel like a burger king once again.

Directed by Loren Bouchard and Bernard Derriman, with a script written by Bouchard and Nora Smith (every one of them having worked on the show, Bouchard’s creation, for many years), this is a transition from TV to film that perfectly opens up the world we are shown, ever so slightly, without losing anything that made the show so popular with its fanbase.

The voice acting is as good as you would expect, the main cast members have been doing this for just over a decade now and they ARE those characters, to the ears of many people anyway. But there are a number of other treats throughout, particularly the roles for Kevin Kline (this reminded me of how much I love his movie work) and Zach Galifianakis, playing brothers entangled in the murder investigation, and Gary Cole as Sergeant Bosch. I won’t list everyone else who makes a cameo appearance, but you can check through the cast list to find a real smorgasbord of comedic treats. 

The visual style is in line with the show, albeit given a slight excuse now and then to go a bit “bigger and better”, and every character gets a main role in the story without it feeling forced or dishonest. This is an object lesson in how to do this kind of thing, with the one minor criticism being the fact that it can’t ever feel truly cinematic. 

You get some songs, you get numerous puns, you get someone attempting to craft a sexy burger outfit, and you get a dysfunctional family all . . . working their buns off to save their business, even if they have to solve a decades-old murder to do it.

Not unmissable, but absolutely recommended to fans of the show and fans of comedy served up with relish.

8/10

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Monday 18 July 2022

Mubi Monday: Cold War (2018)

I keep thinking that I have seen many more movies from director Pawel Pawlikowski, but I haven't. Before finally seeing Cold War I had only seen two other movies from him, the strangely enjoyable (despite itself) The Woman In The Fifth and the excellent Ida. Many people have been urging me to get Cold War watched for some time and now here we are.

A love story that moves between Poland and France, and covers a time period from the 1940s to the 1960s, Cold War gives us two central characters who don't initially seem to be very interesting, except to one another. Joanna Kulig is a singer, Zula, who catches the eye/ear of a music director named Wiktor (Tomasz Kot). Their potentially idyllic life is kept out of reach by the political turmoil around them, including a decision made to have the musical troupe they are involved with perform some pieces of propaganda in favour of Communism that will allow them to tour the Eastern Bloc, and fate conspires to then separate the two, and to keep them separated, by both their own decisions and the events unfolding around them.

Presented in gorgeous black and white throughout, Cold War is a romantic and sensual film that explores both the highs and lows of intense love between two people. Some may view it very differently, but the backdrop here felt as if it could have been changed to a number of other situations providing the same obstacles, although Pawlikowski has a very personal reason for making his tale the way it is, and the main characters are shaped, at least partially, by their time period and geography.

Kulig and Kot are both excellent in their lead roles, often exemplifying the notion of “you always hurt the ones you love” as they feel pained both together and apart, for different reasons. There are a number of good supporting turns, but the film belongs to the two leads, people we get to see as shaded characters, neither wholly good or bad, especially when you consider what each one is projecting on to the other.

The script, written by Pawlikowski, Janusz Glowacki, and Piotr Borkowski, is precise and delicate, often hinting at worse things happening offscreen (to the main characters and in the wider world around them), and there’s a perfect balance maintained between what is said aloud and what goes unsaid. Sometimes those unsaid words are kept at bay due to bad timing and emotional turbulence, sometimes they are unsaid for personal safety. The flawless direction makes everything clear, whether it is spoken or silent, and Pawlikowski remains a huge talent that I look forward to spending more time with.

As you may have gathered, this is simply great cinema from start to finish. Layered, mesmerising, visually lush, and exploring the nature of intense love, something so powerful that it can render the external world redundant and/or cause grievous self-harm, this is easily recommended to anyone who hasn’t yet seen it. Although I sometimes feel as if I am the last person to get to some of these acclaimed films, and therefore the last person who should be telling others to clear a space in their viewing schedules.

9/10

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Sunday 17 July 2022

Netflix And Chill: Resident Evil (2022)

I have liked almost every incarnation of Resident Evil. If something has been released with the Umbrella logo on it then I am always optimistic. And just writing that sentence has reminded me that I have somehow not yet got around to watching Resident Evil: Infinite Darkness, an animated show released last year. Regardless of my own tardiness, whether it is the games themselves, the film series starring Milla Jovovich in the lead role, the animated movies, Welcome To Raccoon City, or some episodic TV, I am always happy to consume the wide variety of branded media made available. The animated movies, despite how well they can recreate the game characters and drop them into a variety of scenarios, have arguably been my least favourite RE releases, but even they have moments and details to enjoy.

Take a general peek at reactions from fans, however, and you'd be forgiven for thinking that every attempt to make a live-action Resident Evil film or show has been a planned assault on the delicate sensibilities on every zombie-blasting videogamer. Nobody is happy, often because they think that any live-action story set in the world of Resident Evil tends to diverge too far away from what they love about the games.

The same thing has happened here, judging by the overwhelmingly negative reaction I have seen to this show. And a lot of people quantify their views by ensuring that you know they have been playing the Resident Evil games for over two decades. I've also been playing the Resident Evil games for over two decades . . . and I liked this latest instalment in the ever-expanding franchise.

The main storyline is split between two time periods. There's the current year (yes, 2022), in which two sisters, Billie (Siena Agudong) and Jade (Tamara Smart) struggle to acclimatise to their new life in New Raccoon City. They're helped by the fact that their father is Albert Wesker (Lance Reddick), an indispensable part of the Umbrella Corporation, meaning he usually has the clout to make any big problem disappear. He cannot magically fix two daughters who have spent too long left to their own devices though, which bites him on the ass when the siblings decide to break into an Umbrella facility after realising that they use animals in some of their test procedures. The other year depicted onscreen is 2036. The world has gone a bit dangerous, to put it mildly, and the adult Jade (Ella Balinska) is trying to avoid being eaten by zombies, known as "Zeroes", while also evading capture by Umbrella.

Look, I'm not going to sit here and try to tell people that this is the best thing to ever have the Resident Evil name attached to it. I can understand why parts of it could annoy people who wanted much more zombie action. Many scenes play out like a standard teen drama when we're being show the sisters experiencing the calm before the storm in 2022, the cast aren't all at the top of the talent tree (special mention to Turlough Convery for almost being so awful that I considered giving up on the whole thing), and the zombies are much livelier than their videogame counterparts.

BUT, and it IS a big but, you get Lance Reddick killing it in the role of Wesker, you get a memorably vicious dog, the zombie action is pretty well-presented, there's a massive killer with a chainsaw at one point, and it has at least three genuinely brilliant moments dotted throughout the entire series. There's a good variety of diversity behind and in front of the camera, I'm not going to namecheck every director and writer though (sorry), and the structure of the storyline allows the creators to deliver something that isn't a complete rehash of the games, but also allows them to tuck in some appreciated callback. Oh, and there are some great soundtrack choices made.

Other highlights include Paola Núńez in the role of Evelyn Marcus, someone who appears to be one of the highest bosses in the Umbrella Corporation, and a couple of impressively-rendered gigantic beasties that serve as a reminder that the viruses created by Umbrella don't really care what species you are, they will mess with anything.

I would happily watch this again, if I had the time in my busy viewing schedule. I will happily watch a second season (I hope there IS going to be a second season). And I will happily keep being bemused by the overly negative reaction from fans of the brand.  It's definitely not perfect, and I have already mentioned that I can see why viewers are more annoyed by some parts of the storyline, but it's another very enjoyable addition to the Umbrella family.

7/10

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Saturday 16 July 2022

Shudder Saturday: The Medium (2021)

The only reason I didn't get around to watching The Medium any sooner was due to the runtime. 130 minutes is far from the lengthiest movie runtime I have sat through (although I think I have made my thoughts on the bloated art of Lav Diaz clear enough), but I kept filling up my viewing schedule with shorter, generally "easier", choices. Which is something I should really stop doing, particularly when it delays me enjoying something as good as this.

It's all about a documentary crew following a medium named Nim (Sawanee Utoomma). Nim has spent many years possessed by the spirit of a local deity, but she only ended up that way because her sister, Noi (Sirani Yankittikan), didn't want to accept her destined role. Noi doesn't seem to have had the most fortunate life since turning her back on the chance to become a medium, but things may be about to change as her daughter, Mink (Narilya Gulmongkolp), looks set to be chosen as the successor to her Aunt Nim. But details soon come to light that cast doubt on the whole situation, and Nim wonders just what is force is trying to gain hold of her neice.

Director Banjong Pisanthanakun really knows how to make effective scares. Their directorial feature debut was Shutter, still a highly recommended ghost movie, and they have spent most of the past two decades delivering a nice variety of chilling tales. Writers Chantavit Dhanasevi (who has worked with Pisanthanakun a number of times) and Na Hong-jin (who is on a real role after working on The Chaser, The Yellow Sea, and The Wailing before this) do a fantastic job of setting up the situation and characters before starting to develop a building sense of dread, drip-feeding the weird and scary moments until just really letting loose in a finale that is full of nightmare imagery.

Utoomma is good in her role, as is Yankittikan, but it's Gulmongkolp who becomes the focus of the film, with viewers getting to watch her behaviour become more and more erratic as she is unwillingly changed by a selfish spirit. Gulmongkolp is excellent, starting off as a typically bright and fairly happy young woman before quickly changing for the worse. Aside from the moments of horror and/or madness, Gulmongkolp excels as she shows the strain of carrying a burden she cannot seem to put her finger on. Her mind and spirt may be a battleground, but her body is just as much a casualty.

Shot in the "found footage"/documentary style, this does a lot of what you expect from that format. You get moments in which footage is checked and found to contain some extra horror. You get details that don't necessarily come into focus during the first sweep of the camera. There's some night-vision work during the final act. It feels better than most though. Although things go from bad to worse, it's not entirely implausible to think of a documentary crew sticking around to get some footage that will give them some instant fame, kudos, and notoriety. Of course, there's no easy exit when people realise, far too late, that they really need to make their escape.

Full of impressive moments, with a runtime that doesn't feel as long as it is, and with a small handful of characters that are nicely fleshed out, The Medium is a near-perfect modern horror. You are drawn into a strange world, unless you have spent a lot of time in Thailand, and the film-makers acclimatise you to the lifestyle and the large role that faith plays in the lives of everyone shown before dragging you along an increasingly dark path that you just know isn't going to end anywhere pleasant.

9/10

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Friday 15 July 2022

The Black Phone (2022)

Based on the short story by Joe Hill, The Black Phone is a tale, not entirely unlike some other Hill stories, that feels VERY much like something his dad would write. You get a nice feeling of Americana from the past (it's set in the late 1970s), you get one main character imbued with some magical power, there are horrible bullies, a parent who likes the bottle more than anything else, and the main villain constantly tries to act as if he is working in service of a higher power. I can't see anyone who liked It, or the stories in Different Seasons, finding too much to dislike here.

Ethan Hawke plays 'The Grabber', a masked kidnapper of children who has been reducing the population of a small part of Denver. He meets his match when he grabs young Finney (Mason Thames), but he doesn't realise just how much help Finney is going to have when it comes to staying alive. Finney has a sister, Gwen (Madeleine McGraw), who has been having scarily accurate dreams, which means she may be able to locate her brother. And Finney also has the titular phone, attached to the wall of the relatively bare room he is trapped in. It occasionally rings, something that 'The Grabber' puts down to static electricity, but Finney soon becomes the first person in some time to hear voices through the receiver. Those voices are the previous victims of 'The Grabber', and they have some advice to offer Finney.

Directed by Scott Derrickson, someone who has been delivering solid entertainment for about two decades now (with his last feature being the first Doctor Strange movie), The Black Phone is a supernatural-tinged thriller that works as well as it does thanks to those involved not looking to give themselves any kind of get-out clause. The thriller aspect is solid, and there are moments of tension in between the more predictable plot beats, but the supernatural aspect is equally solid, and it's never dropped in favour of some attempt to tidy everything up in the final scenes. 

The script, written by Derrickson and C. Robert Cargill, effectively delivers all of the information required within the first 20-30 minutes to then really focus on the tension for the remainder of the movie. There are some obvious points made that will be referred back to, but there are also some more subtle details. The 103-minute runtime speeds by, but underpinning the basic thrills and chills is a pleasantly unexpected comment, deliberate or not, about giving victims a voice, and keeping their names more relevant and recognisable than the name of their abuser. You get to learn the names of a number of kids as the movie plays out. You don't learn the real name of Hawke's character, unless I missed one quick mention of it anywhere.

While he's not onscreen for that long, Hawke is excellent, and chilling, in his role. His character casts such a long shadow that I never really felt his lack of physical absence to be a problem (although I have seen some mention that they were surprised by how few main scenes he was in). Thames is the one who carries most of the film, giving a performance that marks him out as someone to keep an eye on. The same goes for McGraw, who makes a strong impression as the feisty and gifted Gwen. The other child actors, most often seen depicting their characters as The Talking Dead, also do well. James Ransone is a highlight, playing a coked-up armchair detective who ends up closer to the truth than the people who are officially on the case. The only person who didn't work in their role was Jeremy Davies, stuck with portraying the drunken father who has to deliver some unnecessary clunky backstory that I initially through was going to set up some extended Hill/King cinematic universe.

I really liked this. It's a simple premise that is executed pretty perfectly (it probably helped that most of the film is set in one room, allowing Derrickson and co. to optimise the use of the budget elsewhere), it doesn't run overlong, and it doesn't feel as if the ending is setting up a sequel. None of those things should be so rare in modern cinema, but watching a film getting everything just right serves as a reminder of how rare they are.

8/10

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Thursday 14 July 2022

Old (2021)

Here's the plot of Old. A few different groups of people end up on a lovely beach and discover that time works different there. Although I cannot remember the exact correlation, it's something like half an hour on the beach being the equivalent to one year (this fluctuates though, by my reckoning, so let's not view that measurement as set in stone). While worried by that turn of events, things get even worse for the people on the beach when they realise that they are unable to leave.

Written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan (although it's based on a graphic novel, 'Sandcastle', by Pierre-Oscar Lévy and Frederik Peeters, Old is one of the most staggeringly awful mainstream movies I have seen in some time. Frustratingly, it has a good idea at the heart of it, and there's an explanation at the end of the movie that at least explains some character motivation, but it is never handled well. Much like the characters onscreen, viewers will feel themselves ageing prematurely as this drags itself from one ridiculous moment to the next.

Here are some of the people featured in the cast though, a selection of names that may tempt you into watching the film. Gael García Bernal, Vicky Krieps, Rufus Sewell, Alex Wolff, Thomasin McKenzie, Abbey Lee, Nikki Amuka-Bird, Ken Leung, Eliza Scanlen, and Aaron Pierre. If you're anything like me then you will appreciate at least a couple of those actors. Don't let their involvement here fool you. Shyamalan has left everyone out to dry, giving them a horribly weak script and directing them to act in a way that is so far removed from their best work that you won't believe that the Vicky Krieps here, for example, is the same woman who did such amazing work in Phantom Thread. Nobody comes out of this well.

Although different from the more overt format of what many used to (and some may still) view as his biggest mis-step, Lady In The Water, Shyamalan has once again tip-toed his way right back to the cause of his previous "fall from grace", a plot that revolves people figuring out they are simply characters in a plot being crafted by someone else. There's one big difference this time around, the author of the narrative being someone who deliberately causes harm, even if it is for the greater good, but it certainly feels like Shyamalan has gone for another swim in the turbulent waters of hubris.

There's nothing else here that feels as if it is worth mentioning. I wasn't a big fan of the score, the special effects were sometimes good and sometimes not so good, and no one aspect can make up for that killer combination of the poor script and poor performances. I even think the cinematography, editing, shot choices, etc. seemed to be hampered by Shyamalan dedicating himself to creating a vision that he never really got a proper grip on.

My advice is to stay as far away from this as possible. And, funnily enough, I don't think time will be kind to it.

2/10

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Wednesday 13 July 2022

Prime Time: Crooked House (2008)

Originally shown on TV in three episodes over three subsequent evenings, before being packaged presented as one omnibus a few days later, Crooked House is a polished and handsome ode to the classic horror anthologies of yesteryear. It's a blend of Hammer and Amicus with a nice spoonful of the M. R. James classics also mixed in. It's only real problem is being a bit too precious about the material, erring on the side of the classy when it could have been fun to have some more ridiculousness and bloodshed on display (if you're going to do an ode to Amicus, in particular, then it feels like a missed opportunity to not involved a dismembered hand at some point).

The tale is simple. Ben Morris (Lee Ingleby) has found an antique door knocker. When he takes it to a local museum, the curator (Mark Gatiss) recognises it as having once been attached to a notorious, cursed house, the recently demolished Geap Manor. He tells Ben a couple of tales from the history of the door knocker, one involving some poorly-chosen wainscoting and the other involved a ghostly bride, but those end up being nothing more than light distractions once the third tale starts to unfold. The third tale isn't one that Ben is told. It is one that he is part of, and he soon realises that a horror may be trying to reach through the many years of the past to get to him in the present.

Also written and co-produced by Gatiss, which is obvious as soon as you start to hear some of the wonderful dialogue being delivered, this is an interesting film, one that feels as if it is overstretching slightly while trying to straddle the large gap between the past and the present day. It's either coincidence or clever meta writing that has the content reflected by the presentation (knowing Gatiss, I would lean towards the latter there), but the fact that the end result ends up being successful is just as much down to the cast as it is to the writing and direction (from Damon Thomas).

The first tale has the most treats. Philip Jackson is the man having his home renovated, after making a fortune in a deal that ruined others, and drove one to suicide. The wainscoting that will drive him to distraction is made all the more effective thanks to the great performance from Jackson, who is full of bluster and self-importance. He is joined in a number of scenes by Andy Nyman and Julian Rhind-Tutt, both a lot of fun in their roles, and Beth Goddard steals a couple of moments as a widow pointing a finger of accusation at Jackson's character. The second tale doesn't really have any standout performances, and is the least enjoyable of the three we get here, but it does well with the atmosphere and imagery. Thankfully, Ingleby and Gatiss do great work, and Daniela Denby-Ashe also helps things along with her pivotal supporting role.

Although I wish there was a bit more here, in terms of the scares and blood, I also recognise that this is being crafted in line with the more traditional, and restrained, ghost stories that form the bedrock of a wonderfully spooky tradition (the ghost story at Christmas, which is why this was first shown on TV at that time of year). It's just a shame when the film/episodes veer between feeling like a wonderful homage and feeling like an academic exercise, the balancing act proving to be occasionally too much for Gatiss.

ALSO, a minor note, it would have been nice to see one of the tales have more of a seasonal feel. Not essential, but an extra layer of autumnal chill would have been most welcome. Maybe that's just me though, and maybe not helped by me watching this in the midst of summer.

7/10

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Tuesday 12 July 2022

Jurassic World Dominion (2022)

I had heard a variety of opinions on Jurassic World Dominion before I finally got around to seeing it, which meant I was perhaps better prepared for it than I otherwise might have been. I heard that Chris Pratt tries to defuse every dinosaur encounter by doing that hand gesture he does (true). I heard that some of the connective tissue to the first film was very tenuous (also true). I heard that there was a disappointing lack of actual dinosaurs, with them being pushed aside in favour of a plot about dangerous bugs (tosh and piffle).

Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) and Owen (Chris Pratt) live in a cabin in the woods, being parental figures to Maisie Lockwood (Isabella Sermon). They try to stress to Isabella how important it is that she stays hidden away, due to the value of her DNA, but that doesn’t work. In a double-whammy of villainy, both Maisie and a new baby raptor (Blue’s baby, no less) are kidnapped and taken away to the main villain of the piece. I won’t name them, but it is obvious from the very start. Meanwhile, Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern) is investigating the source of some dangerous new species of locust, which leads to her dragging Alan Grant (Sam Neill) along to the HQ of a company called Biosyn, headed up by Lewis Dodgson (Campbell Scott). Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) works at Biosyn, but he would like someone to get proof of what he suspects are misdeeds. 

With director Colin Trevorrow returning to direct this instalment of the franchise, continuing the story he worked out with Derek Connolly, shaped into a finalised screenplay by himself and Emily Carmichael, this feels like exactly what it is, a film that is part standard blockbuster spectacle and part celebration of an enduring modern franchise. I wasn’t too impressed by the first Jurassic World movie, and I initially felt the same about Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (a film I have subsequently viewed in a more favourable light), but maybe I have been too harsh, perhaps because I have always been hoping to experience the thrill of that Spielberg original all over again.

This is a really solid slice of dino-filled action. It may have a lengthy runtime, but it doesn’t feel overlong. Set-pieces and exciting moments are sprinkled throughout, with the sequence set in Malts being one of the most entertaining blockbuster moments I have seen in some time, the locust sub-plot adds some more tension (and, more importantly, provides a good reason for everyone ending up together in the same place), and there’s a feeling of plausibility in this world that now has dinosaurs free to roam certain areas of our planet. 

Dern, Neill, and Goldblum are very welcome in their reprised roles, all three settling into a comfortable rapport with one another, and also working well when they eventually encounter the new characters. Pratt and Howard are just fine, although they have never been as good in the lead roles as other options we could have had, and Scott has fun as the typical rich guy who wants to play god in ways that might have unforeseen consequences. There are also enjoyable performances from DeWanda Wise (playing Kayla, a pilot who ends up helping our main characters) and Mamoudou Athie (as Ramsay, the nervous young man tasked with showing Sattler and Grant around Biosyn). The one sour note is, unfortunately, Sermon. As decent as she was in the last film, she feels completely out of place and unconvincing here. Perhaps the writing also works against her, or maybe her performance just feels more full of affectation now she is a bit older and a bit more self-conscious.

The other main performances come from the dinosaurs, of course, and they are as good as ever. You get another enjoyable variety of creatures, with some of them being VERY cute (baby triceratops WILL make you go “awwwwww”), and the blending of animatronics and CGI is pretty flawless throughout.

What more could you want? The score brings in the obvious cues when expected, there are some fun lines of dialogue that work on a meta level without stopping everything to wink at the audience, and it once again allows our old pal, the t-rex, to steal a couple of scenes and remind everyone of how much we all love to gape at a t-rex. 

8/10

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