Witchcraft V: Dance With The Devil (1993)

There's a magical man, Cain (David Huffman), who wants to collect the souls of those who have bargained with him for fame and/or fortune. But he can't just go along himself to pick them up. Oh no, that would be too easy. So he uses a warlock he has managed to hypnotise. And that warlock is William Spanner (this time played by Marklen Kennedy). Marta (Nicole Sassaman) is the woman who ends up helping Cain, Will is supported by Keli (Carolyn Taye-Loren). There's also a Reverend who features in the plot (played by Lenny Rose), and a fleeting appearance by Greg Grunberg, that wouldn't be worth mentioning if it wasn't for the fact that he may be the most famous person to have appeared in the entire series. At least up until this point.

Directed by Talun Hsu, and written by James Merendino and Steve Tymon, there's still a small amount of effort being made here to craft an actual plot. Things get ever more ridiculous, such as the way in which Will is still apparently a lawyer and the way he has shrugged off all of the past events in his life, but they hang together just enough to make you think someone wrote more than just the moments of nudity.

Ah yes, moments of nudity. Having been wandering down this path for the past couple of movies, Witchcraft V: Dance With The Devil dives fully into the sexy, with both Sassaman and Taye-Loren, among others, being required to bare all for the sake of magical rituals. These rituals involve a lot of writing around, men squeezing breasts, and women then . . . squeezing their own breasts. Basically, if you have a handy pair of breasts to squeeze then you should be able to work on your own bit of spellcasting at home, which is a handy tip for any wannabe warlocks out there.

The cast names may have changed but the acting remains as poor as ever. Kennedy is perhaps just a little better than the actor who preceded him, and Sassaman and Taye-Loren have to spout some awful dialogue in between their nude scenes, which makes it hard to tell if they are acting poorly or being mistreated by the script. The only highlight is Huffman, who appears to be working in a completely different movie to everyone else. He's gloriously over the top and theatrical in his delivery, expressing himself in a way that screams "I AM smoothness and evil incarnate" from his first moments. You can laugh at many of his moments, and I did, but you can also appreciate that the film is a lot better for his presence.

I am now about a third of the way through this series. I don't envision things improving much. Expect future reviews to contain more and more incoherent ramblings as my brain is worn down to complete mush by these movies.

3/10

It can be bought here.