Shudder Saturday: The Coffee Table (2023)

There is a very famous quote from Alfred Hitchcock about the difference between surprising an audience and keeping them in suspense. An explosion can surprise and shock people, but showing them the bomb being placed under a table will have viewers tense while they wait for the inevitable to happen. The Coffee Table has both elements, but it's only the explosion that is mildly effective. The rest of the film seems intent on disproving Hitchcock's theory, especially as you begin to care less and less about how things will play out before the end credits roll.

Jesús (David Pareja) and Maria (Estefanía de los Santos) are two new parents. They may not have a perfect relationship, but they seem determined to try their best now that they have a newborn in their midst. Jesús really wants to purchase a nice coffee table that he sees in a nearby store though, despite it being a bit pricey and impractical. Eventually getting his way, this purchase leads to what can most mildly be described as a bad afternoon for Jesús while María is out shopping for the visitors due at their home later.

I assume that director Caye Casas, who also co-wrote this with frequent collaboratore Cristina Borobia, will be pleased to have made an impression with this film, but I hope he already has better ideas to develop in future projects. Because The Coffee Table is bad, and seems to have garnered a strong reaction from audiences over-reacting to the one main event that the plot revolves around. Frustratingly, there's more hinted at in early scenes that then don't really go anywhere interesting (particularly the strange and uncomfortable atmosphere every time a young neighbour girl, played by Gala Flores, is onscreen), but absolutely everything is sucked down into the whirlpool of what Casas and Borobia mistakenly believe is their crucial "highlight".

Although there's certainly some horror in the concept, a fair bit of it distilled into one moment, the film tries to play out like a strained drama for a lot of the time, with some misjudged pitch-black comedy also thrown in here and there. It's a sustained wallow within the miserable mindset of one character though, for the most part, and that reduces the effectiveness of anything else that is attempted. I doubt many will rush to rewatch this, and I would be very susprised if I didn't find others agreeing with me on how disappointing and tedious it becomes.

Pareja and De Los Santos are both fine, even as they are both asked to give very different kinds of performances, and both Josep Maria Riera and Claudia Riera do well, playing the visitors who unwittingly make the situation much more tense for Jesús, Flores tries to make the most of her screentime, and Eduardo Antuña delivers an ill-fitting bit of extra comedy as the seller of the coffee table.

I heard a lot of good things about this, but then I started to hear from people who hadn't loved it. Some had, in fact, completely hated it. It's made competently enough, from a technical point of view, but I think I have to agree with the latter group. This needed to be much better, and it shows that a film needs more than just one big shock at the heart of it to be worth your time and consideration.

3/10

If you have enjoyed this, or any other, review on the blog then do consider the following ways to show your appreciation. A subscription/follow costs nothing.
It also costs nothing to like/subscribe to the YouTube channel attached to the podcast I am part of - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCErkxBO0xds5qd_rhjFgDmA
Or you may have a couple of quid to throw at me, in Ko-fi form - https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews
Or Amazon is nice at this time of year - https://www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/ls/Y1ZUCB13HLJD?ref_=wl_share