I'm not going to try to tell you that the original Castle Freak was any kind of classic. Nor am I going to try and tell you that it was tasteful and full of effective scares. It was a fun time though, helped by performances from a couple of well-known leads and the fine directorial instincts of Stuart Gordon. This remake, in comparison, is a bit shambolic.
Rebecca (Clair Catherine) and John (Jake Horowitz) are the young couple who move into the castle with a dark secret. Rebecca is blind, John is struggling to live a clean life. Their relationship is strained, and it's about to be strained further by the secrets contained within the castle. Some other people join our leads, a creature creeps around and kills some of them, and the whole thing leads to a very silly finale, and tiresome post-credits sting that references another Gordon horror movie.
This is only the second feature from director Tate Steinsiek, who has spent years working in the art and special effects departments. The lack of experience shines through, with almost every scene highlighting the low budget and the weak cast. Unsurprisingly, there are some decent effects here and there, to be expected from someone who knows that side of things so well, but I defy anyone to watch this and actually care about any of the characters or the storyline.
Kathy Charles may or may not have been pleased to have this as her first feature writing credit (she would do much better in collaboration with others on her next project, Jakob's Wife), but this feels like more of an assignment than any passion project. Every item on the list must be checked off (Lovecraft references - check, gratuitous nudity - check, clumsy exposition - check, people being oblivious to the real danger until it's ready to disembowel them - check, etc) and it would be laughable if it didn't feel so lazy.
Neither Catherine nor Horowitz do a very good job, sadly, and there's nobody else to help distract from their relatively poor performances. Emily Sweet seems to be there for her willingness to be involved in the main nude scene, Chris Galust is frankly appalling in a role that was crying out to be performed by a genre legend cameo, and the only other person I want to mention is Kika Magalhães, who at least tries her best to carry the movie with the many scenes revolving around her character.
It just goes to show you that people can make very different things with the same sets of ingredients. Some may view this and think it's on a par with the original film, considering how schlocky and grubby that one seemed at times. Others, like myself, will simply point to it as a prime example of what happens when you provide a fairly low budget to people who don't have the experience to rise above it.
3/10
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