Sister Krampus (2021)

When you are struggling to think up a title for your cheap Krampus movie then you can just add some kind of family connection. Krampus has been a mother, a granny, and now a sister (although the use of the word sister here is tied to the fact that one central character is a nun). And very few of those incarnations were actually good.

Rebecca Rinehart and Marie DeLorenzo are Mary and Jodi, two sisters travelling around parts of Europe on holiday. They encounter a nun (Danielle Donahue) one day, soon being informed that she is not as friendly as she appears. She is, in fact, Sister Krampus, a being out for revenge since suffering horrible abuse at the hands of some American soldiers many years ago.

Directed by Anthony Polonia and Mark Polonia AKA The Polonia Brothers, this is a film very much in line with many others they have helmed. It's very cheap, it's full of many scenes that just feel like filler, and there's a role for their regular collaborator, Jeff Kirkendall. If you have dived into the waters of independent horror movies, especially those that make use of certain buzz-words in titles that don't necessarily have anything to do with the actual films, then, for better or worse, you will be aware of The Polonia Brothers. This is far from their worst work.

Mark Polonia also co-wrote the screenplay with Orville Buttress, based on an idea by Ron Bonk, a producer who seems to have been "inspired" to share his story ideas many times throughout his career, but I suspect a helping of rambling improv could have been better than this weak dialogue. You might remember one or two things about this after the end credits have rolled, but the screenplay is unlikely to linger for more than a minute.

Rinehart and DeLorenzo aren't terrible. They're just not very good. That hasn't stopped others having a long and enduring acting career though. Speaking of which . . . Kirkendall continues to be a strangely welcome presence, despite his many obvious limitations. Donahue has to look intense and irked, and does fine, and Yolie Canales does very well as a brusque, but ultimately helpful, woman named Ezmirelda.

Like many Polonia Brothers movies, this is cheap in a way that seems to revel in the cheapness. It's all very amateur hour, but lacks the charm and appeal of something made by someone who has tried hard to make their one and only movie, probably because these film-makers are nearing their one hundredth feature.

I've STILL seen worse, but I doubt many others who stumble across this would be able to say the same. It's bad. Not incredibly painful, but definitely far down the tree when it comes to ranking holiday horror movies.

3/10

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