Men In Black II (2002)

Another day, another chance to revisit a film that I think was always given a bit too hard a time when it was first released. Men In Black II is a lot of fun. It’s as well-paced and inventive as the first movie. The returning players are still great in their roles. It just isn’t as good as the hugely successful original.

A new baddie has landed on Earth (Serleena, played by Lara Flynn Boyle), looking to get their hands on something that was hidden away years ago by Agent Kay (Tommy Lee Jones). Unfortunately, Agent Kay had his mind wiped when he chose to retire from the MIB organisation, which makes things tricky when Agent Jay (Will Smith) has to bring him back “into the office”. Can they protect the valuable asset that Serleena is seeking? Can they even find the damn thing in time?

Written by Robert Gordon and Barry Fanaro, in place of Ed Solomon, and with Barry Sonnenfeld back in the director’s chair, Men In Black II doesn’t feel very far removed from its predecessor. There are one or two scenes that spend a bit too much time being too earnest and unfunny, but they are few and far between. Overall, this is a pretty great sequel, full of both new gags and gags that call back to lines and moments in the first film. The visual style is just as cool and slick throughout, and Danny Elfman once again delivers with his music (I think his main theme for this movie series holds up as some of his best work). Sonnenfeld keeps perfect control over everything, or at least makes it seem that way, and every extra detail, in the plot or production design, feels well-considered and relevant.

Although their roles have changed somewhat, Smith and Jones still make a great central pairing. The former remains cocky and ready to deliver witty lines, the latter still retains an air of exasperation around his well-worn face. Boyle is fun in the role of Serleena, an alien dominatrix with their tendrils whipping whoever doesn’t give them the right answers to their questions, and Johnny Knoxville is . . . well, look, I like Johnny Knoxville, but his character is the weak link there, a two-headed creation given too many chances to fool around in a way that isn’t on a par with the rest of the humour in the film. Rosario Dawson is a worthy addition to the cast, playing a murder witness named Laura who somehow avoids having her memory wiped, and there’s a typically great little turn from Patrick Warburton at the start of the movie. Rip Torn, Frank The Pug, and Tony Shalhoub all make welcome returns, as do the odd little “worm guys” (CG creations who all perk up when Dawson is introduced to them), and there are some fun cameos to keep your eyes peeled for.

The first film set a very high bar when it comes to blockbuster sci-fi comedy, and it holds up as a brilliant slice of modern mainstream cinema, but I remain convinced that this is a worthy sequel. It’s smart, it’s funny, it hits similar main beats. It just isn’t the first film, and I think those judging it too harshly on that basis are being a tad unfair. Although you can deduct an extra point or two from my rating if you REALLY can’t stand Frank The Pug. I have somehow grown to enjoy his screentime a bit more than I used to, but I can see how he could hurt the viewing experience.

7/10

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Prime Time: Wild Wild West (1999)

When Wild Wild West was first released, I wasn’t familiar with the TV show it was based on. I just got excited at the prospect of another blockbuster comedy pairing up director Barry Sonnenfeld with Will Smith. I also liked Kevin Kline, a LOT, Kenneth Branagh, and any decent-sized role for Salma Hayek. That excitement may be long gone now, it started to dissipate during my first viewing of the movie, but little else has changed. I am still unfamiliar with the TV show this was based on, and I still like the main cast assembled for it.

Smith plays James West, a skilled and sharp-shooting special agent who ends up partnered with Agent Artemus Gordon (Kline). Gordon prefers to use inventions and disguises to help him achieve his aims, while West prefers a much more direct approach. Both men have to work together as they try to apprehend the devious Dr. Arliss Loveless (Branagh), a man who lost his legs during wartime, but makes up for that handicap with a number of inventions, from a “super-charged” wheelchair to a huge mecha-spider vehicle, that give him an advantage over his enemies. Oh and Salma Hayek plays Rita Escobar, a women who ends up accompanying West and Gordon for part of their journey.

Arguably most famous nowadays for featuring a creation mentioned in a Kevin Smith anecdote (one of the producers on this movie REALLY had a hankering for a giant spider to feature as a third act menace), Wild Wild West is a real oddity. Some of the comedy works, some of the action is nicely put together, and the steampunk element provides some cool visuals, but the very essence of the film seems to work against the charisma of all of the leads.

Smith constantly feels as if he is cosplaying, too cool to play his cowboy in a more straightforward way, Branagh does too much moustache-twirling while murdering his attempt at an American accent, and Kline doesn’t get enough moments to shine, which is even more annoying when you have scenes that fleetingly show just how funny he can be. Hayek is given no real arc, the movie would work just as well without her (although I, for one, am glad she is in it), while there is more care and attention given to supporting turns from Ted Levine, Musetta Vander, and Bai Ling.

There are, as expected, numerous writers credited with the end result here. You get the names of the people who delivered the TV show concept, but you also get S. S. Wilson and Brent Maddock (originators of a certain graboid hit), who then claim that their original screenplay was severely reworked by Jeffrey Price and Peter S. Seaman (who only had a couple of other movie writing credits before this, but one of those was Who Framed Roger Rabbit). Whoever was most responsible for it, the end result is a mess, and Somnenfeld is unable to improve it.

The direction is competent, but weighed down by the script. There’s no decision to make someone a straight man, which just leads to the laughs being spread thinner amongst everyone (including Branagh), and thereby ever any real sense of danger. This is a romp, nothing more, and that in itself isn’t a terrible thing. It just also happens to have a few dull patches throughout the runtime, an inability to have more fun with the clash between the traditional Western ways and the technology available to the characters, and even the Elmer Bernstein score can’t help. At least you get to hear the funky Will Smith theme song over the closing credits.

Wild Wild West is a mess, but it is one I feel the need to check in on at least once a decade or so. I always suspect that I am misremembering it, that I like it more than most people. I’m not misremembering it, and I don’t. Although I might be a bit more generous to it than most.

4/10

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Nine Lives (2016)

Here's the thing. I don't tend to always plan this blog. Don't get me wrong, I have moments of clarity in which I remember how much easier I can make my life if I plan more than a day ahead. That means I will start to watch Christmas movies early and plan reviews for December. I will also try to schedule reviews of new releases to coincide with cinema or disc releases, when I remember. But my default approach to blogging movie reviews is to keep watching lots and lots of films and then deciding what reviews I want to write, and when I want to schedule their appearances. Which is why I didn't expect to resurrect this blog and have two Kevin Spacey movies making an appearance in the first week. Feel free to skip over this if you like, but I have already clarified my position at the start of my review for Baby Driver.

There are five writers credited here, and Barry Sonnenfeld is the director, for this very simple story of a businessman (Kevin Spacey) who is so busy with all of his dealings that he is neglecting his family (mainly his wife, played by Jennifer Garner, and daughter, played by Malina Weissman, but he has also failed to appreciate the qualities of his eldest son, Robbie Amell, who works for him). One cat-purchasing encounter with Christopher Walken later, a terrible accident, and Spacey finds himself in the body of the feline that he just bought for his daughter's birthday. Will he learn valuable lessons? Will he be able to ever return to his own body, currently comatose? Will the CGI continue to look worse than most of the scenes in Cats & Dogs (which was over fifteen years ago)?

The cast all seem strangely unembarrassed to be in this, which I have to put down to some very good performances. Spacey only has to give a vocal performance, for the most part, so gets off easier than some of the others, Garner is once again wasted in a role undeserving of the talent that can be drawn out of her, Weissman is very good in the role of the young daughter who still dotes on her absent father, and Amell is just fine. Walken has fun in his small role, Mark Consuelos is the ambitious businessman below Spacey, and there's also a cat, of course, which is cute enough when not being made to look odd with "amusing" FX work to keep it acting and reacting more like a man stuck as a cat, as opposed to a normal cat just being itself.

I could name the five writers here, but their names aren't familiar to me and this hasn't encouraged me to check out anything else they may have been, or will be, involved with. This is bland entertainment seemingly created by throwing words and scenes into a hat, drawing out pairs that are matched up, and then ensuring that all potential fun or excitement is drained from every scenario. And I have no idea how Barry Sonnenfeld ended up directing this, and how he could put this out to viewers as a final product. Everything looks incredibly cheap, making me think that most of the budget went on the cast before anyone realised how much would be needed to get everything to a minimal cinematic standard.

I wasn't expecting this to be the cat's whiskers, nobody seeing the trailer would, but I didn't expect such a stinky hairball.

3/10

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