Netflix And Chill: Vampires Vs. The Bronx (2020)

Gentrification. It isn’t always a completely bad thing, especially when certain areas are rejuvenated and re-energised in a way that helps out local residents. But it is often done in a way with little, or no, regard for the people already living in an area that is about to be changed beyond all recognition. So that isn’t a good thing. Neither are vampires. 

Vampires vs. The Bronx is a film that throws both of these things together in a wonderfully entertaining kid-centric horror that effortlessly feels much more in line with ‘80s flicks than so many other modern films that have tried, and failed, to capture that essence.

Jaden Michael is Miguel, Gerald Jones III is Bobby, and Gregory Diaz IV is Luis, and these three Bronx kids are the ones who discover that vampires are buying up local real estate and planning to snack their way through the Bronx. The vampires are being helped by Frank Polidori (Shea Wigham), and their business front uses the name Murnau to give those in the know fair warning. Can the kids get anyone to believe them? Can they save the neighbourhood, from both gentrification and the vampire menace? And how much will they be able to take away from watching Blade?

Directed by Osmany Rodriguez, who also came up with the story that was developed into the screenplay by Blaise Hemingway, this is one of the most pleasant surprised I have had in months. Admittedly, the trailer piqued my interest, but this benefits from perfect lead performances, pacing and plot progression that only falter in the third act (which may be enough to turn some viewers against it, but it still worked for me), and a real sense of fun throughout. 

Not looking to reinvent the wheel, or familiar vampire movie tropes, this is a film that gives you a checklist of things to look out for . The use of holy water, the suspected vampire who isn’t one, the improvised stake, and much more. You have seen everything here before, but that is only a problem if none of it is done well here. On the contrary, it is all handled with gusto, even if some may consider it a little bit bloodless.

I won’t go on and on about how great the young leads are, but they are, so I will take a moment to mention how good Whigham is in his role, how much fun Sarah Gadon has as Vivian, a newcomer to the area that the kids want to keep safe, and how nicely the cast is rounded out by the likes of Method Man, Chris Redd, The Kid Mero, Judy Marte, and even Zoe Saldana (in a fantastic cameo).

It may not be destined for status as an enduring classic, it may not be as scary as you want it to be, and there are moments of silliness that stretch plausibility (why do people always end up hunting vampires at night?!?!?), but Vampires vs. The Bronx is a perfect film to enjoy in the right company, especially during October.

8/10

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Prime Time: Playmobil: The Movie (2019)

Considering Playmobil is usually the easier, more childish, precursor to LEGO, it's completely unsurprising to find that Playmobil: The Movie is a more childish and simpler film compared to the brilliance of The LEGO Movie (or, indeed, any of the main LEGO movies). It still has some fun moments here and there, and it's a good little adventure for kids to enjoy, but it's definitely an inferior selection of blocky toy movie moments. It has some issues that are easy to point out, but I don't think it deserved to do as poorly as it did at the box office. I'll take this over either of the Trolls movies any time.

The plot, and I'll keep it as simple as I have to, revolves around Marla (Anya Taylor-Joy) and her younger brother, Charlie (Gabriel Bateman). There are dead parents, tension between the siblings, and a large toy exhibition that has a magical Playmobil set in it. Marla and Charlie end up in the Playmobil world. Charlie ends up in a very bad situation, one that may see him unable to leave the world, and it's up to Marla to try and save him, aided by Del (Jim Gaffigan), a food truck driver who is currently using his vehicle to transport and sell magic hay.

Directed by Lino DiSalvo, his first feature after working on a number of animated movies before this, Playmobil: The Movie suffers from inconsistency in a number of areas, and it's almost as if DiSalvo worked on various scenes without remembering that they should come together to form a satisfying whole movie. The script, co-written by Blaise Hemingway, Greg Erb, and Jason Oremland, is sometimes content to keep kids distracted by the figurines onscreen, and various environments, and then seems to remember that they can add in some more jokes. You also get a few songs, none of which are memorable, and all feel very much like an afterthought.

Taylor-Joy and Bateman both do well in their roles, faring better in Playmobil form than when they have to do the live-action work that bookends the animation. Gaffigan is a fun presence in the role of Del, and you also get some good work from Kenan Thompson. Less impressive is Adam Lambert, playing the bloodthirsty Emperor Maximus with a distinct lack of any real pizzazz. Thankfully, the lacklustre turn from Lambert is compensated for by the real star of the show, Daniel Radcliffe, playing a James Bond type, named Rex Dasher, who comes with his own theme tune and an amusing lack of self-awareness.

I can absolutely see why this is viewed as a lesser option when compared to many other animated movies. Generally, it IS a lesser option. And perhaps people thought it was covering the same ground as certain other toy-based movies, without being as good as those. Which is also completely true, as I already said in the opening paragraph. But it's really not a terrible film, certainly not in the scenes in between those shoehorned songs anyway. If you have younger children in the house who want something bright and fun then you could do worse than this. That's maybe not a ringing endorsement, but it's probably a nicer appraisal than many others have given it.

6/10

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