Kiss Of The Dragon (2001)

Jet Li stars in this action movie that has a script co-written by Luc Besson, so you should know exactly what to expect. Yes, there's a fun, action-packed opener, a couple of good set-pieces throughout, and a decent finale. As for character development and nuance, those things are out the window. That doesn't matter when the focus is on Li kicking ass, but it's not so good during the non-action moments.

Li is a Chinese intelligence agent who travels to Paris to help out the police there. They're mounting an operation to catch a well-known criminal (Ric Young). Unfortunately for Li, it turns out that he's about to be set up by Inspector Richard (Tcheky Karyo), an officer who is more concerned with making money from drugs and prostitution than any real police work. Framed for a crime he didn't commit, Li soon finds himself a very wanted man. He does his best to lay low, but that can only last so long. Richard and co. should be worried, however, when he decides that it's time to fight back.

Chris Nahon is the director, but with this being his first time in the big chair for a feature he doesn't really show any unique style, or even any great potential for things to come (at the time of writing, this remains, arguably, his best film). The script, which has Robert Mark Kamen working with Besson to develop a story idea by Li, is perfunctory, at best. There are some nice moments with Li using needles to either help or hinder people, but everything else is predictable from start to finish.

Li is great in the main role, and he's enough to keep everything above average. Not only is he a fantastic martial artist, but he also does well in scenes that require him to show some sweetness and/or good humour. Karyo is a fun villain, always seconds away from exploding in a fit of rage, and he has at least two great henchmen available to help him out (Cyril Raffaelli and Didier Azoulay). Bridget Fonda has one of her lesser roles, playing a woman forced into prostitution and drug use, and there are small roles for Burt Kwouk, Paul Barrett, and Max Ryan, among others.

Fans seeking an easy action fix will find enough to enjoy here. The editing isn't perfect, by any means, but it's not as bad as it could be, and there are some good tunes accompanying the dynamic moves. Watching Li fight is immensely satisfying, and there are a couple of set-pieces here that at least try to take things a step beyond the normal, Americanised action moments. It won't make any Top 10 lists, but it's one that I've watched numerous times, and will undoubtedly watch again at some point.

6/10

http://www.amazon.com/Kiss-of-the-Dragon-Blu-ray/dp/B000K14LTK/ref=sr_1_4?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1405919253&sr=1-4&keywords=kiss+of+the+dragon

The Terror Of The Tongs (1961)

While there are ridiculous elements in this Hammer movie, it gets beyond an unsteady start to become a surprisingly solid revenge flick. This is Death Wish before people had heard of Death Wish.

Geoffrey Toone is the hero of the piece, Captain Sale, a man launched on a mission by the murder of his beloved daughter. This murder was arranged by the dastardly Tong crime family (led by Christopher Lee). They are, basically, an early 20th century, Hong Kong version of the yakuza and will do anything to protect their identities. Sale starts to upset the Tongs, picking fights with people he suspects will lead him up the chain of command and stubbornly refusing to die, and the stage is set for a confrontation that Sale is unlikely to walk away from.

Directed by Anthony Bushell and written by Jimmy Sangster, this is a colourful and exotic movie, with visuals, tension and thrills taking precedence over things like plausibility and historical accuracy. It doesn't even show that much of Hong Kong, so I don't want people mistakenly thinking they could watch it as some travelogue time capsule. Oh no, all that's shown is all that needs to be shown. Just a few sets and no major exterior shots (well, none that come to mind anyway).

Toone is good enough in the main role, he's believably strong and brave, while Lee does fine in the role of the main villain. It has to be said, however, that this is one of those movies from a past era, with the majority of the Chinese characters being portrayed, unfortunately, by the British actors that Hammer could enlist to work for them. The main female character, a woman named Lee, is actually played by the gorgeous Yvonne Monlaur, a French actress (see picture below). Roger Delgado, Charles Lloyd Pack, Ewen Solon and many others populate the Hong Kong shown onscreen, while the ubiquitous Burt Kwouk lends his authentic ethnicity to a minor role.

This may not be one of the best from Hammer, but it's still decent entertainment if you're in the right mood for it.

6/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Terror-Of-Tongs-Region/dp/B008ADDWU4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1379941097&sr=8-1&keywords=the+terror+of+the+tongs+dvd

I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle (1990)

Obviously not a film for everyone, I Bought A Vampire Motorcycle is for those who wanted to see the cast of UK TV show "Boon" in a bad horror movie or who wanted to see a movie about a possessed motorbike or who wanted to see . . . . . . Neil Morrissey attacked by a lively turd in a random nightmare sequence. It has all of these things and more. None of them make for a great viewing experience.

The story is nothing to dwell on, what with it being fully described in the title of the movie, so let's move quickly past that.

The acting is okay if you enjoy acting performances that look as if they belong in some 80s British comedy drama series full of more bad puns and lame moments than anything else. Neil Morrissey is the leading man and he's so-so, if nothing special. He's certainly better than anyone else on screen, with the possible exception of Anthony Daniels in a rare non-C3PO role. Supposed to be a lovable loser trying to find out exactly what's wrong with his new purchase, Morrissey is believably dim but not really as endearing as his "cheeky chappie" could be.

The effects are about as varied as you can get with some of the stuff here being quite enjoyably gory but other stuff looking as if someone knocked it up in their workshed with a load of red paint and sticky back plastic (which, in all likelihood, is probably what happened). The bike itself is a nice looking machine and gains some nice design "upgrades" as the movie progresses. Director Dirk Campbell also does a good job of blocking scenes tightly enough to show the bike moving, apparently, without anyone on board.

The biggest problem with the film, although there are many minor failings to choose from, is that it's simply too preposterous to enjoy fully. The central premise is not just stupid but also stupidly executed. It's as if we're expected to buy into the fact that this bike can get everywhere and sneak up on people every night when the bike is there, reminding you that . . . . . . . . IT'S A BIKE! I must also make a special point of mentioning the Hell's Angels here that are about as scary as the Hell's Grannies depicted by Monty Python. Fans of the great, quaint UK horror Psychomania will enjoy seeing this bunch of tame "tough bikers". And, considering the film was released in 1990, it's strange to think that it may have seemed dated as soon as it came out. Perhaps people can argue that it's done that way deliberately, a homage to the decidedly British horrors of yesteryear. I'm not buying that one.

With Michael Elphick also hamming things up and a bunch of people who were never really (or should never have been) bound for anything more than TV work, the movie just about works it's way to an average rating with it's exuberance and sense of self-belief (not to mention the surprisingly enjoyable, generic soundtrack) but it just has far too much to work against with the onslaught of poor, groansome gags, the silliness of the whole scenario and the complete lack of tension throughout. UK horror has seen much worse entries in the genre but it's also seen MUCH better.

4/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Bought-Vampire-Motorcycle-DVD/dp/B000B64VS0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1339931241&sr=8-1