Noel (2004)

I was hoping to like Noel. Why? It was a Christmas movie with a good cast, and it was directed by the fantastic Chazz Palminteri. I like Christmas movies, in case anyone somehow hadn't noticed that yet, and I like Chazz Palminteri. I also like Susan Sarandon, Paul Walker, Penelope Cruz, Robin Williams and Alan Arkin, all of whom star in the movie. Sadly, the film just isn't that good. It does for Christmas what the likes of Valentine's Day and New Year's Eve did for their respective occasions. Which is to drain it of all magic and instead fill it up with cheap manipulation and saccharin sweetness.

What's the storyline? It's a selection of criss-crossing story strands. Susan Sarandon plays a lonely woman who devotes most of her attention to her hospitalised mother. She eventually meets a man (Robin Williams) who seems to know just where she is at in her life at that exact moment. She also meets a young woman (Penelope Cruz) who is being driven away from her boyfriend (a cop, played by Paul Walker), due to his explosive temper. Walker, while trying to win back the woman he loves, is approached by Alan Arkin, playing a man who seems to see the reincarnation of his ex-wife in the young man. Oh, and there's also a man (Marcus Thomas) who wants to spend the evening in hospital, because his happiest memory was when he was hospitalised, as a young boy, and got to enjoy the Christmas party thrown for the patients.

Written by David Hubbard, Noel features a handful of good performances that are wasted in a pile of schmaltz. Schmaltz is a hard thing to avoid in any Christmas movie, but this one is especially bad. The musical cues, the journeys of self-discovery, the warm, Christmassy glow suffusing every scene, it all works to remind you that you must feel the joy of the holiday season. You must sense the magic, despite all of it being very basic stuff executed with very little style.

Palminteri, who also gives himself a fleeting cameo, doesn't direct with any confidence. Thankfully, he gains a few bonus points by assembling a good cast, but that's about the only thing that the movie has going for it. Sarandon, Walker, Arkin and Cruz are all very good, Thomas is okay, although he just has to keep repeating the same idea over and over again, and Robin Williams does the quietly contemplative act he's been doing in his serious roles for years now (the regret, the wry grin, the soft and quiet manner).

It's a shame that I've ended up rating this even lower than many of the TV movies created at this time of year, but this one had the chance to be much better. It feels more like a wasted opportunity, which isn't the feeling I want from my Christmas movies as the end credits roll.

4/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Noel-DVD-Pen%C3%A9lope-Cruz/dp/B000BY9CWM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1386192829&sr=8-1&keywords=noel

One For The Money (2012)

It's only a matter of time, surely, until  Katherine Heigl goes away and is never seen on cinema screens again. Don't get me wrong, she will probably get more TV work and some non-theatrical movie roles, but I can't think of anyone working today who has headlined so many stinkers and displayed such a lack of warmth and actual personality on screen. She's a "star" with no star power and this comes from the one guy who enjoyed The Ugly Truth (probably the last movie in which she was likeable).

Heigl plays Stephanie Plum, a young woman desperately in need of some cash. Through a fortuitous turn of events, she ends up being allowed the chance to work as a bounty hunter and gets to chase a big payday in the shape of an ex-boyfriend (played by Jason O'Mara). Stephanie is helped to become a bounty hunter by the generous Ranger (Daniel Sunjata), a man who has the patience of a saint. So what happens next is that Stephanie makes a lot of noise, gains a lot of attention and puts herself in danger. Can she turn things around to become a decent bounty hunter, get the cash and improve her lot in life? Viewers may find it hard to care, I know I did.

One For The Money could have been a good move for Heigl. The role was one that she could play easily enough, there was huge franchise potential and the leading lady could appeal to male viewers while female viewers enjoyed watching some girl power as well as  O'Mara and Sunjata. But no. Instead, viewers get a weak lead character, a weak cast and yet another vehicle for Heigl that is content to be as bland as possible.

The source material may be partly to blame, the story comes from one of a series of books by Janet Evanovich, but I wouldn't know because I haven't read any of them. I assume that Karen Ray, Liz Brixius and Stacy Sherman read the thing because they adapted it for the screen. Director Julie Anne Robinson takes an uninteresting screenplay and directs it in an uninteresting manner. Every scene is predictable, every attempt at humour is unfunny and the whole thing just limps along from one dull moment to the next.

Of course, the cast doesn't help. Heigl is unjustly smug and confident in her lead role, playing up her character's many flaws and weaknesses as if they should be endearing at every turn. That's not too bad, however, because O'Mara has all the charisma of a folding picnic table (and not even a nice, wooden one - I'm just on about the plastic variety). Sunjata actually doesn't do too badly, and comes across well, but he's one of the all-too-few highlights. John Leguizamo, Debbie Reynolds (as grandma), Sherri Shepherd, Fisher Stevens and Patrick Fischler are a few of the names populating the varied and uneven supporting cast, but none of them are given anything decent to work with.

If there are any fans of Katherine Heigl out there, then I guess this is tolerable for them. The other 99% of the population should probably just avoid it altogether.

4/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/One-Money-Blu-ray-Katherine-Heigl/dp/B0064YP0KG/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1359301102&sr=8-2