Screamtime (1983)

It's amazing what you end up revisiting in your adult life because of childhood memories. I remember somehow being allowed to watch Screamtime when my parents rented it out and I was entertained and thrilled by it. It had everything; fleeting nudity, bloodshed and tension. Of course, I was about seven or eight years old when I saw it and I didn't realise how bad the acting was and how hokey the whole framing sequence was.

Things start off in New York. Basically, there are one or two establishing shots and then we see two men robbing a video store to get themselves a few free movies for the evening. I'm not sure if such videotape "hit-and-run" robberies were commonplace in the early '80s, but I doubt it. The men then visit some woman in her flat (just after she's had a shower - gratuitous nudity about two and a half minutes into the movie = good sign) and then watch the movies. The movies all happen to be British, which means that the footage shot in America was probably filmed in the space of a few hours. The first concerns a Punch & Judy man (Robin Bailey) who is getting a very hard time from his wife and an even harder time from his stepson (played by Jonathon Morris, probably best known to most UK viewers of a certain age for his portrayal of Adrian Boswell in TV sitcom Bread). The second story is all about a couple who move into a lovely home, but it's all spoiled when the wife (Yvonne Nicholson) starts experiencing disturbing visions that start to fray her nerves. Last, but by no means least, we get a tale in which two old, twinkly-eyed ladies (Dora Bryan and Jean Anderson) hire a young man (David Van Day, best known in the '80s for being one half of Dollar and inflicting this song upon us all) to take care of their house and garden. The old ladies talk fondly about their gnomes and fairies at the bottom of the garden, but the young man takes no notice of this talk when he decides to rob the house. Silly boy.

This movie is just silly from start to finish. Thankfully, it's enjoyably silly and not silly in a way that will make you roll your eyes and go to sleep. Michael Armstrong wrote the script and he also co-directs with Stanley A. Long. Would you be unsurprised to hear that this was their last directorial feature (Long did direct a TV mini-series, but nothing else)? The acting is terrible from almost everyone involved, with the exception of Bryan and Anderson, the script is laughably bad at times and there isn't enough gore on display to make up for the low budget, bad editing and framing and strange penchant for showing people being killed by small men wearing pointy, red hats (you'll need to watch it to see what I mean). The soundtrack is also pretty bad, but if it was good it would be jarringly out of place so I don't hold that up as a major criticism.

Some people will be able to laugh at the performance from Jonathon Morris. Some people will be able to laugh at the performance from David Van Day. Some people will be interested to see the original tale that was remade and developed into the film Psychosis. Some people will enjoy seeing Kim Thomson in a small role long before she landed a plum, recurring role in Emmerdale. And then there will be the people like me, the people who either saw this movie in their youth and couldn't quite shake it out of their memory banks or have just heard about how dire it is and want to see it for themselves. Those are the people who will, hopefully, get the most enjoyment out of it. Just as I did.

5/10

Here it is for free on YouTube - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ke71OzfQlw - though it is marked as a 1983 release, I have had some trouble narrowing down the year. IMDb has it as 1986 but then has the US release date as 1984, many VHS copies are sold as 1985 and I've seen some others claim that it's from 1982. I think 1983 is correct or, at the very least, close enough. I'd LOVE to put a link here to purchase the movie on DVD so please let me know if it ever becomes available.

Vampire Journals (1997)

An offshoot from the main Subspecies movies, this film focuses on vampire Ash (Jonathon Morris) and the man (Zachary, played by David Gunn) who seeks to stop him from biting any more women on the neck. The odds may be stacked against him but it's as good a time as any while Ash seems preoccupied with numerous other problems involving those he thought he could trust.

Once again written and directed by Ted Nicolaou (who, of course, helmed all four of the Subspecies movies and also wrote three of them), this film may run low on actual thrills or horror but it's a decent enough bit of gothic melodrama that should please fans of Anne Rice.

Characters spend an awful lot of time brooding over their past and contemplating their futures while not much happens. But it's all so degrading and horrible being a vampire, don't you know. Well, that would seem to be the case for anyone who doesn't just make the best of the situation and turn all ruthless with their fangs ever ready a la Ash.

A script that always teeters on becoming outright laughable is not helped by a pretty weak cast (the great work from Anders Hove is sorely missed in a film that stems from a franchise he towers over). Jonathon Morris does okay but, as I said in my review of Subspecies 4: Bloodstorm, he just seems so out of place because of how I grew up with his TV work here in the UK. David Gunn is a wet blanket, with the material mostly to blame for it but his performance isn't great either. Kirsten Cerre, Starr Andreef and Ilinka Goya have fleeting moments that allow them to make a better impression but the rest of the time they are consigned to the background and undeveloped. Mihai Dinvale is fun to watch (though not as much fun as he was in Subspecies 4) and that covers the important cast members.

Basically, what you get here is a cross between the Subspecies movies and a gothic video for a rocking power ballad. Think of it as Interview With The Meatloaf, if you like. Is that a bad thing? No, actually, if you know what to expect from it then it's perfectly acceptable. It's just a shame that it couldn't be a bit more creative and energetic to make up for the weak script and cast but some bloodshed occurs now and again and it all looks pretty enough so while it's nothing I can honestly call good I don't feel that it's something I can honestly call bad. Therefore, the rating is slap bang in the middle.

5/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Subspecies--Epic-Collection-Subspecies-Journals/dp/B000F6ZIJM/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1337544741&sr=1-1

Subspecies 4: Bloodstorm (1998)

Continuing the saga of the evil vampire Radu (Anders Hove, who has owned the role since the very first movie) and the woman he tries to bring under his control (Michelle, played once again by Denice Duff), this movie follows directly on from the events of part three and assumes that if you've come this far then you will enjoy more of the same. There is another film that came out before this one, Vampire Journals, but  a) it's more of a companion piece than a direct sequel/prequel and b) I just thought viewing the movies numbered 1 to 4 would make for a neater presentation on my blog.

Ted Nicolaou is once again in charge of the writing and directing duties and he does slightly better here than he did with the third instalment. It may still be drawing things out much further than they need to be drawn but there are also one or two new ingredients that add some entertainment.

While Radu tries once more to get Michelle obeying him unconditionally she is helped out by a young woman (Ioana Abur) and a doctor (Mihai Dinvale) who seems to take the story of vampirism and the bloodstone in his stride. This frustrates Radu no end, of course, but he is able to take out his frustrations on some other vampires that are beneath him in the pecking order (Ash, played by Jonathon Morris and Serena, played by Floriela Grappini). Ion Haiduc also returns as Lt. Marin but is given a lot less to do this time.

I wouldn't say that this movie is full of twists and turns but it does try to pile on the drama in a number of different ways, be it Radu reclaiming what is rightfully his or the treachery shown by people seeming eager to taste immortality. The melodrama is mixed in with the horror to good effect, putting this on a par with some warped soap opera. Maybe even Dark Shadows (though I never saw the original show so I may be way off base with that comparison).

The real problems come from the strangeness of it all. Anders Hove has been strange from the very first scenes in the franchise but to see him joined by a growing group of ever-weirder supporting characters just makes for an experience that's a bit too odd to enjoy. Especially when one of those characters is being played by Jonathon Morris (arguably still best known to UK audiences for his role in the long-running sitcom "Bread"). It's not that Morris is bad, it's just that I couldn't shake the feeling that he shouldn't have been there in the first place. Ioana Abur isn't great but Floriela Grappini is a bit better so that helps. And then we have Mihai Dinvale, overacting to amusing effect.

The design work is nice when it's given a chance to shine but there are many scenes here that just feel a bit slapdash and cheap. Of course, there's a case to be made that all Full Moon Productions are slapdash and cheap but some of the better features do a good job of hiding it whereas this one doesn't. The soundtrack that often sounds like someone taking a balloon animal to the vet is another negative in a film that still just manages to be entertaining enough to scrape an average rating.

5/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Subspecies--Epic-Collection-Subspecies-Journals/dp/B000F6ZIJM/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1337544741&sr=1-1