Prime Time: Terminal Rush (1996)

It may have taken me far longer than anyone would have expected, but I finally decided to take the plunge and check out a Don ‘The Dragon’ Wilson action vehicle. Maybe not one of his best films, as I have now gathered from some other reviews written by those who have seen more of his work, but one of them nonetheless.

Wilson plays a cop named Jacob Harper, with a history that included a very successful spell in the army (of course), who ends up heading in to the Hoover Dam to fight against terrorists that have taken it over. Michael Anderson Jr. plays the main villain, Harrison Dekker, but the bigger treat is that his main henchman is played by ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper.

What this film wants to be, in case you hadn’t guessed already, is yet another riff on Die Hard. One man against a group of terrorists, a main plan that might actually be a distraction from another plan, and some family issues to be solved between the start and end of the movie (although it’s handled here in the most cursory manner). It’s no Die Hard though, and I would have to say that it doesn’t even do a very good job of being a lesser Die Hard wannabe, unlike half a dozen other titles I could mention that you would already be familiar with.

Part of the fault must lie with the director, Damian Lee, and writer, Mark Sevi. The script is weak, few of the characters stand out, and the choreography of the action isn’t that impressive. There is also no good sense of the location, with any geography being thrown out the window to focus on shots that try, and fail, to hide the low budget.

Another main fault is, unfortunately, the leading man. Wilson does okay when he gets to show off his considerable fighting prowess, but he’s not good when required to do some actual acting. You could say that about many action movie stars, and the main thing is really how they handle themselves in the fights, but Wilson is sadly worse than most, mainly due to him also lacking some much-needed charisma. Anderson Jr. and Piper do their bit to help, with Piper the absolute highlight (it’s impossible to not want more screentime for him once you see him take off his sunglasses to reveal black eye make up, like some kind of brilliant Zucker/Abrahams/Zucker gag), but there isn’t really anyone else worth mentioning, although one or two key characters do help to move the plot along.

It moves along at a decent enough pace, tries to keep odds stacked against our hero for most of the runtime, and is elevated every time Piper is front and centre, but I cannot recommend this one. If you are after some action fare that used to fill up the “straight to VHS” shelves then you could do much better than this. Even Wilson fans tend to agree that he has a number of other movies you should prioritise ahead of this one. Maybe I will even get to one of them soon enough. 

4/10

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Shudder Saturday: Arachnid (2001)

Note: I watched Arcahnid on Wednesday evening. I went to check a couple of scenes from it on the Thursday. It had been removed from Shudder, dammit. But I watched it. It WAS on Shudder. I own it, so could revisit those scenes I wanted to see. And this review stands (apologies, however, that Arachnid isn't on Shudder at this time, but perhaps it will come back).

I hate spiders. Hate them. Or, to put it more accurately, I am terrifed of them. Yep, a big arachnophobe, that's me. I know all of the arguments against my irrational fear, especially considering the relatively small varieties that we have here in the UK, but I can't help it. That's why it's an irrational fear. As much as I am afraid of spiders, I am also drawn to horror films that feature the eight-legged horrors. And I thought that Arachnid was going to be a decent, low-budget, killer spider movie. I was wrong.

Things start with a pilot who goes down with his plane. He wanders around an island, sees a weird alien creature, and then he's killed. Time passes. A group head out to the same island, including a woman (Loren Mercer, played by Alex Reid) who is the sister of the missing pilot. They wander about the foliage for a while. Someone gets internal problems from nasty ticks, there are various arguments between members of the group, and then the third act is time for the main creature to be showcased, a giant spider out to kill them all.

The fact that Brian Yuzna was attached as a producer got my hopes up. He's given me a number of very enjoyable horror movies over the years. Unfortunately, his name attached to this as producer doesn't mean that the end product is anything like his directorial outings. Arachnid is bad. The script by Mark Sevi is poor, full of slapdash plotting and horribly cliched dialoge, and the direction from Jack Sholder doesn't help any. The whole thing feels cheap and rushed, although it's saved from being a complete waste of your time by a couple of decent gore gags and the main creature.

Reid isn't a good enough female lead to hold viewer interest, and neither is Chris Potter (her male co-star). But it's easy to see why they bagged the lead roles, certainly in comparison to the selection of fairly dire people supporting them. Rocqueford Allen is okay, the rest are almost unbearable for the entire duration of their time onscreen.

It's not hard to make a spider-centric horror movie that I will enjoy. Whether they're of normal size of turned into giant monstrosities. Hell, I have fond memories of The Giant Spider Invasion. So I struggled with my low rating of this one. But there's just not enough here to make it even passable. Which is a shame. If they had taken away the sci-fi moments, focused more on the simple fun of people being chased by a giant spider, and thrown around some more bloodshed and nastiness, this could have been an amusing way to waste 90 minutes.

3/10

There's a cheap DVD available here.
Americans can buy it here.
Or just click on those links and go shopping for better movies.