Prime Time: Soul Survivors (2001)

I saw Soul Survivors when it first came out, when it hit the VHS rental market anyway, and I hated it. Even as a much younger horror movie fan, I saw it as something dull and tired. I never thought of it as a film I should revisit, but recently decided I should give it a second chance. After all, maybe I would respond more positively to it after years spent developing a tolerance for many bad movies. And writer-director Stephen Carpenter has been involved with other projects that I enjoy (including the wonderful Kindred). Damn me and my optimism. If anything, this was worse than I remembered.

I genuinely despair at the thought of even relating the plot here. A group of mopey young people just mope around, get into a car accident, and spend a lot more time moping around. This might not have been so bad if the cast didn’t include the lesser Affleck, the lesser Wilson, and the lesser Slayer, as well as a soundtrack and aesthetic that pretty much beats you over the head with how turn-of-the-21st-century it is.

If you wanted to be generous about Soul Survivors, not that I do, then you could accept the fact that it’s a very tame horror movie for teens who want to try out their first horror movie. It’s not scary, not gory, and the characters are almost all impossible to care about, but it’s a paddling pool for people to dip their toes into before they put on the water wings and start learning to swim, if they don’t mind the water temperature.

I don’t know what Carpenter was thinking though. He was either hampered by a studio wanting him to make the blandest and most predictable film possible, or he forgot every other movie made in the history of cinema and figured that he was making something cool and entertaining for teen viewers. There are episodes of “Goosebumps” and “Are You Afraid Of The Dark?” scarier than this. Not to deride those shows. I just mention those as their target demographic skews much younger.

The cast really don’t help at all. If I forget to mention anyone here then please know that it is because I forgot about them while the movie was playing. Melissa Sagemiller is the lead, and there’s probably a good reason why she hasn’t (as far as I’m aware) been front and centre of too many, or any, other major releases. She had a run of a few movies, her small amount of good luck was used up, and she’s now seen more often in various TV roles. Eliza Dushku, who was given the prime spot on the poster, has fared slightly better, with a couple of better movies under her belt, but I have never been a big fan of her presence. Luke Wilson purses his lips and looks sad-eyed, which is no stretch, Casey Affleck keeps appearing throughout the film (and I tend to hate him, but also, dammit, love some of his best performances . . . of which this is very much not one), and Wes Bentley is just about the only highlight, overpowering the weak script and direction with his essential Wes Bentleyness (aka the menacing doppelgänger of Donnie Darko). 

Some people out there will still have a soft spot for this, if only for the soundtrack, but I implore those people to leave this dead and buried, where it belongs. I can easily recommend them at least half a dozen movies that cover very similar territory in a much better way. When it comes to mainstream horror movies aimed at a teen audience, this is about as bad as you can get. Absolutely atrocious from start to finish, and please feel free to give me a slap if I ever start to wonder if I was too harsh on it.

2/10

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Sorority Boys (2002)

A lowbrow teen comedy that focuses on some clumsy cross-dressing for the majority of it’s comedy may not sound like something very appealing but I happily recommend Sorority Boys as a great laugh and a perfect distant relative along the branches of the fraternity comedy family tree that grew from the seed planted by Animal House (a movie given many nods throughout) many years ago.

Three young men are very popular members of the KOK fraternity, where the parties are always lively and the women are always attractive. In fact, if any women from the much-derided DOG fraternity try to get in then it’s not long until the cry of “dogcatcher” is heard and a net is thrown over the unfortunate individual, who is then ejected from the party. It’s a great life. Women are treated with a complete lack of respect, beer is drunk in large amounts and the guys don’t have a care in the world. Until the money that they’re safeguarding, to be used in the funding of the all-important “cocktail cruise” where futures are often decided, goes missing. Or is stolen. Proving their innocence will be difficult, due to the fact that they are run out of the fraternity. In an effort to buy some time the guys don some womenswear and end up spending more time than they ever thought they would in DOG house. You can probably guess what kind of antics ensue and what lessons could be learned.

While there’s no denying that Sorority Boys is fairly formulaic and predictable stuff, there’s also no denying that it aims to provide simple, unpretentious, laughs. The first 10-20 minutes are downright offensive for any female viewers but it’s all necessary stuff so we can watch the guys go along a very steep learning curve and be dealt some humility.

The men in drag are all good sports and look comical as women. Barry Watson is the one who comes close to almost looking ladylike for all of two minutes as Dave/Daisy. Harland Williams is almost scary in a dress but also constantly hilarious as Doofer/Roberta. And Michael Rosenbaum, as Adam/Adina, sits uncomfortably in the middle while receiving the roughest treatment at the hands of men he used to consider friends. Melissa Sagemiller is the pretty head of the DOG house while Heather Matarazzo, Kathryn Stockwood and Yvonne Scio also join in the miserable company.

The script by Joe Jarvis and Greg Coolidge is very mean throughout but also very funny. When the guys are mean it’s all a set-up for the comedy derived later in the movie as the tables are turned. When people are mean to the guys (dressed as women) it’s both hilarious and deserved. The fact that the guys quickly seem to get in touch with their feminine side is another well-mined rich vein of humour (Rosenbaum obsessing over the size of his backside may be playing up to a stereotype but is also very funny while Barry Watson gets so comfortable so quickly that it’s no wonder he gets one or two funny looks from the others).

Wallace Wolodarsky directs things with great energy to compensate for the inherent implausibility of the material. Cross-cutting between characters for extra comic effect, exaggerating some ridiculous situations and topping off any semi-serious moments with a rude punchline – these are just some of the ways in which Wolodarsky makes the best of the enjoyable, lightweight material.

It’s quite possibly the best cross-dressing comedy since Mrs. Doubtfire. Without the schmaltz. 

7/10. 

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