Netflix And Chill: The Merry Gentlemen (2024)

Nothing says Christmas quite like a struggling small-town bar that ends up using some amateur male strippers to help turn fortunes around. Yes, that is the main premise of The Merry Gentlemen, the latest cheesy Christmas movie that I decided to watch this year. And scoff as you may, it wasn't too bad.

Britt Robertson plays Ashley, a young dancer who has had her career ended prematurely by the fact that she's now not quite as young as the limelight-stealing newcomers. So she finally heads back home to visit her parents (played by Michael Gross and Beth Broderick) and soon learns that their little bar, once a thriving hub of music and activity, has been in a slump for a while. A lot of money is owed, and the future isn't looking bright. Thankfully, a hunky local handyman (Luke, played by Chad Michael Murray), Ashley's fit brother-in-law (Rodger, played by Marc Anthony Samuel), a handsome bartender (Troy, played by Colt Prattes), and a dancing cabbie (Ricky, played by Hector David Jr.) are all roped in to Ashley's money-making idea: a choreographed show that features the men doing some very tame teasing. It's obvious that not everything will run smoothly though, and there may still be a chance for Ashley to be lured back to her full-time job in the big city.

As is so often the case, director Peter Sullivan has a large number of TV movies similar to this in his filmography, many of them co-created with Jeffrey Schenck (who is given a story credit here). He has also worked before with Marla Sokoloff, who wrote the screenplay for this and stars onscreen as Ashley's sister, Marie. Despite the opportunity for some extra raunch, everyone involved ensures that this remains cosy Christmas viewing, albeit with a few more abs on display than usual. They know the required story beats, and they hit every one.

Robertson is a decent lead, although I was a bit taken aback to see her in this (considering how much I have enjoyed her in some bigger movies, even if they, admittedly, didn't seem to perform as well as expected). She's appealing enough, and she can also do the occasional bit of clumsiness needed to keep her jostling up against our leading man. Murray is fine, delivering his now-softened-and-bland charm with a side-order of muscular torso, and Samuel, Prattes, and David Jr. all seem to be having fun. Gross is always a welcome sight, and Broderick pairs nicely with him, and it's great to see a small, but worthwhile, role for the charming Maxwell Caulfield (known to most people as either Rex Manning or the Cool Rider).

If you see the trailer for this and like the tone of it then you'll enjoy the film. It does what you expect. There are times when you can still sense the lower budget and rough edges (especially during "crowd" scenes that never feel too crowded), and you have to go with the flow of everything, rather than thinking about how ridiculous it is, but that's easier to do with a Christmas movie than it is with other types of movies. Good fun, and you can always follow it up with some proper raunchiness from the Magic Mike troupe.

6/10

If you have enjoyed this, or any other, review on the blog then do consider the following ways to show your appreciation. A subscription/follow costs nothing, and ALL of the links you need are here - https://linktr.ee/raidersofthepodcast
Or you may have a couple of quid to throw at me, in Ko-fi form - https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews
Or Amazon is nice at this time of year - https://www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/ls/Y1ZUCB13HLJD?ref_=wl_share

Netflix And Chill: Secret Obsession (2019)

Peter Sullivan is a name you may recognise if, like me, you enjoyed watching all of the snow-filled TV movies we have filling up the schedules every Christmas time. He's done at least a dozen of them, which will come as no surprise to you once you have seen this unthrilling thriller that is now presented by Netflix.

On the one hand, I try my best to avoid spoilers whenever I review movies. I really do. I am not one of those people who thinks "the film is 50 years old anyway so it doesn't matter". And I certainly don't agree with the idea of "I thought it was crap anyway so here's how it ends", which I think is a particularly shitty way to express your negative view of something. Just because you hated something doesn't mean that everyone else will agree with you. On the other hand, and this is not an exaggeration, it's pretty much impossible to spoil Secret Obsession. If you saw the trailer then you know how it ends. If you didn't see the trailer, don't worry, everything is completely obvious within the first few minutes.

But, if you really don't believe, or trust, me . . . . *SPOILERS AHEAD*

Brenda Song plays Jennifer Williams, a young woman who starts the movie looking quite afraid until she's struck by a car, ending up in hospital with some horrible injuries and memory loss. Her loving husband, Russell (Mike Vogel), wants to get her home as soon as he can, just to make sure she can rest and recuperate in peace, and not at all because he obviously had something to do with the opening sequence. Jennifer rests up, occasionally thinking about everything she notices around her in a way that gets her spidey-sense tingling. Russell, meanwhile, acts suspiciously, then acts more suspiciously, and finally just reveals the dark core that viewers have known was there since the very beginning, all in time for a grand finale that sees the two leads joined by dogged Detective Frank Page (Dennis Haysbert).

There's something mesmerising about just how amazingly straightforward Secret Obsession is. There's no way that anyone involved could have thought they were making a real thriller. I'll admit that I wondered at what point this was going to change from the glossy nonsense I was enjoying to the twisted nastiness we got in The Perfection, but I didn't enjoy the movie any less when I realised that it was going to provide absolutely no surprises. As strange as it may seem, this proves to be quite the treat because of how resolutely it hits all of the expected beats without any of the tension, or twists, you might expect from it.

I still have to say that everyone does a decent job here, because they seem to do exactly what they're aiming to do. Sullivan directs everything with a safe, made-for-TV, feel that only ever comes close to pushing the boundaries during one moment (Russell cradling Jennifer's injured foot), the script, co-written by Sullivan and Kraig Wenman, is along the lines of a plot you would have enjoyed during the heady days of Sunset Beach, and the performances are absolutely in line with the material. Song spends most of her scenes either looking vulnerable or looking for a way to escape, or both, Vogel LOOKS like a charming psychopath throughout, and Haysbert does the suspicious and determined detective act well without going too over the top.

This is awful, in many ways. It's also kind of wonderful. It's the movie equivalent of a fast food treat. Ultimately bad for you, full of crap, designed to be sold to as many people as possible, and yet it's enjoyable enough for the ten minutes you spend eating it, even if you know you will crave something proper to eat within a few hours. Watch this, enjoy it, and then seek out something better to help get rid of the aftertaste.

5/10

The Flight Before Christmas (2015)

Director Peter Sullivan must surely know his stuff when it comes to Christmas TV movies. Don't believe me? Just check out his list of credits on IMDb. Between his directing AND producing credits, he has had his fingers in a lot of mince pies. And it shows.

The Flight Before Christmas (which, like many other Christmas movies, isn't even original enough to have a title that hasn't been used once or twice before) is a superior example of this type of entertainment. You're not going to get any surprises, these things are all about comfort and contentment as opposed to challenging viewers, but you get some nice moments between two likable leads, and a couple of decent supporting players to help things move along at a decent pace.

Maym Bialik plays Stephanie, a young woman unceremoniously ditched by her boyfriend right before Christmas. This is also right before she was due to move in with him, leaving her technically "between homes", which adds insult to injury. So she decides to head home for Christmas. One coincidence after another sees her spending a lot of time in the company of Michael (Ryan McPartlin). Michael is used to travelling back and forth across the country, maintaining a long-term relationship with the woman he hopes to make his wife one day. If he could only decide on the perfect ring. While forced to endure each other's company, thanks to their flight being diverted and grounded, Stephanie and Michael start to bond. Surprise, surprise.

Written by Jennifer Notas Shapiro, The Flight Before Christmas is not only polished and predictable seasonal fluff, it's also surprisingly, if mildly, less patronising than usual. I admit to being very surprised when I saw that Bialik was starring in this, but I was less surprised as the film started to play out. Within the confines of the film, she still manages to portray a strong-willed and smart woman who doesn't want to define her entire life by her need for a man. Yes, there is a love story here, and Bialik is upset by her enforced single status, but there are a number of moments that allow her to, dare I say it, blossom in the eyes of her male co-star, rather than just have her look pretty and in need of help up until a third act union (which is the more common structure for these films).

Bialik is well-suited to the role, and McPartlin works well with her. He is just the right mix of sweet and ignorantly condescending, learning quickly as he goes along that he may not know as much about love as he thinks he does. Brian Doyle-Murray is the requisite "Santa" figure, in a cameo role that has him onscreen for a few minutes at most, and Reginald VelJohnson and Jo Marie Payton are enjoyable enough as the couple who run a small hotel in a village that Bialik and McPartlin are forced to spend time in while awaiting rearranged flights.

It might seem as if I have been overselling this one slightly, and I don't want anyone to read this and think they're in for a masterpiece, but this is almost downright progressive compared to so many other TV movies you could end up seeing at this time of year.

6/10

Here is a large selection of Christmas movies to enjoy.
And American elves can pick the same set up here.

Admittedly, not exactly an image that aligns with what I have said above