Death On The Nile (2022)

It took me long enough to get around to this, the second Poirot adventure starring, and directed by, Kenneth Branagh, and I was wondering if I should delay it any long as the earliest scenes played out (a sequence showing Poirot in wartime action that feels far too much like a superhero origin prologue). Things did not bode well. Thankfully, the rest of the film is much better, helped by a sprawling cast that has enough welcome performers to make up for those you may be less inclined to want on your screen.

Everything is basically summed up by the title. Poirot is invited to join the celebrations of a pair of newlyweds (Armie Hammer and Gal Gadot), as well as an assemblage of friends and acquaintances. There's trouble in the air though. An angry ex (Emma Mackey), who may be out for deadly revenge.

With Michael Green back for the job of adapting Agatha Christie's work into movie form, and Branagh very comfortable as the lead, there's very little here that should deter those who enjoyed Murder On The Orient Express. I would say that this is a more showy and beautiful film, helped in no small part by the setting, and Branagh has never been someone who could be accused of lacking confidence or the ability to add multiple cinematic flourishes to very traditional material.

Hammer is fine in his role, Gadot feels very much out of her depth, and Mackey is good fun, but the best moments come from many of the supporting players. Annette Bening and (returning) Tom Bateman are both on great form, a mother and son who both view Poirot in quite different ways. It's always nice to see Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders working alongside one another onscreen again. Rose Leslie does okay with a fairly anaemic role, and Russell Brand appears just often enough to make his inclusion feel unfortunate, but both Letitia Wright and Sophie Okonedo light up the screen with their presence. Branagh remains a lot of fun as Poirot, once the film moves beyond that unwanted opening sequence, and he's allowed, as usual, to showboat and relish his dialogue in the grand finale.

It doesn’t seem right to mention plotting in an adaptation of Agatha Christie, but fans should be pleased that this feels nicely in line with what you would expect from her. I haven’t read the source material (note to self, get back to exploring more Agatha Christie tales), but Christie is such a known institution that it would be very easy to tell when something felt . . . off.

Not great, not exactly cinematic throughout (despite Branagh trying his best), but comforting and enjoyable nonetheless. I may even get around to the next film very shortly, considering that has the bonus of Michelle Yeoh in one of the main roles. Or maybe I will take as long to get around to it as I took to get around to this one. After all, they don’t exactly set my little grey cells on fire with excitement.

6/10

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Morgan (2016)

There's an incident at an isolated lab involving a young girl attacking a woman. That is how Morgan opens. Kate Mara is sent in to appraise and deal with the situation, and within another scene or two the viewers are told that the young girl isn't a young girl. She is a creation. An it. A corporate asset. It's just up to Mara to decide whether it is still a valuable asset or a mistake that should be erased.

Morgan is the feature directorial debut from Luke Scott, the son of a slightly well-known British director named Ridley. It's also the biggest project so far for writer Seth W. Owen. Unfortunately, nothing here gives an indication of a bright future for either one of them. This film is a mess, and often a dull mess (which is hard to get just right). It's almost as if it doesn't know what it wants to do, spending a lot of the first half examining identity and humanity before setting up a third act that brings in some action, a lot of implausible character behaviour, and a couple of twists that are remarkably unsurprising.

Things aren't too bad if we're looking at the whole thing on a purely technical level. The visuals, though drab, are decent and a couple of set-pieces work well enough to make you wish that there were some more scattered throughout.

The major flaws stem from the script, which wouldn't be too bad if it didn't also lead to a complete waste of some great talent. Jennifer Jason Leigh is in this movie, but you might not notice her as she delivers about three lines of dialogue. Michelle Yeoh gets a bit more screentime, but not enough to warrant her presence. Paul Giamatti manages to steal the show with one of the best scenes in the film, Toby Jones is sorely underused, Mara looks stern throughout, and Rose Leslie suffers through the whole thing as a character written without any obvious braincells in working order. She tries her best but the script gives her nothing but one dumb moment after another.

There are other people involved, but they just don't make enough of an impression, despite trying hard (Michael Yare probably does the best out of the supporting roster), or they are just on hand to provide a very brief cameo (Brian Cox).

So you get attempts to explore ideas that end up leading nowhere, some flashes of decent violent action, a lot of wasted cast members and unmemorable characters, and an ending that is supposed to make up for the preceding 90 minutes of tedium (although, trust me, it doesn't). Not recommended. At all.

3/10

Morgan is available to buy here.
And if you're in the USofA you can buy it here.