Wednesday, 23 January 2013

Ultraviolet (2006)

Apparently, writer-director Kurt Wimmer is very unhappy with this film because it was completely re-edited by the studio and reduced from a two hour movie to one that runs for 88 minutes. I know how he feels as I'm also very unhappy with this film. Whether or not an extra half hour of content would make me any happier is a risk I'm not prepared to take, even if a full director's cut is ever released. I can't see how any extra footage could make up for the bad acting, bad special effects and uninteresting characters on display here.

The movie starts off with some voice-over narration from Milla Jovovich about the state of the world that she's living in, but this isn't Resident Evil. We then get our first glimpse of Milla, clad in some tight leather clothing and ready to kick ass with some superhuman strength and skill, but this isn't Resident Evil. People are being affected by a disease of the blood and Milla is determined to fight against an evil corporation that is trying to use the whole situation to its advantage, but this isn't Resident Evil.

Milla plays Violet, a beautiful hemophage (AKA basically a vampire) and member of an underground resistance movement who boldly strides into the Archministry and intercepts the delivery of a weapon designed to destroy her and all of her kind. However, it turns out that the weapon is a small boy (played by Cameron Bright) and Violet starts to think that maybe, just maybe, he can be used to help the hemophages rather than kill them off. Nerva (Sebastien Andrieu) doesn't think so and, as he is a superior member of the same resistance movement, Violet finds herself battling with her own kind as well as the soldiers working on behalf of Vice-Cardinal Ferdinand Daxus (Nick Chinlund), the head of the Archministry.

Almost everything about this movie, with the exception of the lovely leading lady and one or two nice visuals, is horrible. Not just horrible, but horrible in a way that actually hurts your senses. You can feel your eyes start to burn as every scene has more and more bad CGI crammed into it. Your ears may try to separate from your head and crawl off into a gutter somewhere rather than listen to most of the godawful dialogue. Then there's the acting, which is so bad across the board that I thought I was watching a parody. Indeed, Nick Chinlund's turn as the villain could be replaced by Will Ferrell's performance as Mugatu (from Zoolander) and the film would be improved 10%. The only person who comes close to escaping with a shred of self-respect still intact is William Fichtner, though it's too close to call. Cameron Bright at least has the excuse of being young here. Someone like Sebastien Andrieu does not.

The action sequences could have been decent, with Wimmer again using the Gun Kata style that he'd showcased in the enjoyable Equilibrium, but yet again, excessive CGI and over-editing spoil the result. With no action to enjoy and a selection of uninteresting characters that nobody will care for, the only asset the movie has is the lovely Milla. As much as I like watching her on-screen, that's just not enough to save this from being a complete waste of your time.


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