Wednesday, 3 April 2013

30 Nights Of Paranormal Activity With The Devil Inside The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2013)

You may remember Craig Moss as the man who gave audiences The 41-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall And Felt Superbad About It and Breaking Wind. I actually thought the former movie was okay, but the latter film was so bad that it may have inadvertently led to the break-up of Kirsten Stewart and Robert Pattinson. Oh, okay, maybe it couldn't have done THAT much damage, but it certainly felt that way while watching it.

And now we have his latest mishmash, another arduously long title that makes no sense whatsoever and simply allows Moss to name-check most of the movies that he pillages from: 30 Nights Of Paranormal Activity With The Devil Inside The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, which I shall be referring to for the remainder of this review as 30-something.

Most people know my tolerance for bad movies. I'll admit that on many occasions I will enjoy what other people despise, one man's trash is another man's treasure, and I have even been known to face a prospective movie viewing as more of an endurance test than an actual way of enjoyably passing the time. That may have to end soon or, at the very least, I need to become smarter with my scheduling. In the past week I have suffered through Movie 43Top Cat and this. It's hard to single out the one that broke me down, that's like trying to find out which of the many bacon sandwiches I have eaten in my life contributed most to my middle-age spread, but I was defeated. At least temporarily.

30-something is a film so bad that it makes you wonder what could have been created if Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer had been involved and that's the kind of thought process that nobody should have to go through.

I actually feel sorry for the cast (well, all of them except French Stewart, who I can never forgive for his part in Home Alone 4 . . . . .  a movie even worse than this one). Kathryn Fiore, Flip Schultz, Olivia Alexander and Arturo Del Puerto don't really do a good job, but it's hard to judge people in this. Think of trying to evaluate someone's aftershave after they've been doused in excrement and you'll be in line with my way of thinking.

The blame can be laid squarely on the shoulders of writer-director Craig Moss and he needs to be stopped. Don't see this movie and don't allow anyone you know to see it. You'll be doing them a big favour. Anyone who rents or buys the thing will almost certainly regret it. If I can save some people from the pain that I went through then this review might have been worthwhile.


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