Elf-Man (2011)

A Christmas vehicle for Jason 'Wee Man' Acuña (who will already be familiar to fans of the Jackass franchise), Elf-Man is a bit of silliness that makes up for the low budget and cheese with a couple of fun performances and some little jokes that actually work as intended.

It's coming up to Christmas, of course, and Eric Harper (Mackenzie Astin) has to get some last-minute errands done before settling in at home. Eric has been very busy making a scientific breakthrough that could change the energy usage of many homes. This makes him a target of a trio of robbers (Jeffrey Combs, Dave Coyne, and Larry Nichols), which also endangers his children (Ryan, played by Blake Kaiser, and Kasey, played by Carly Robell), grandma (Marty Terry), and the woman he is hoping to start a new relationship with (Amy, played by Mirelly Taylor). Things don't look good. Fortunately, there's an elf (Acuña) available to help them, but only if he can believe in himself as much as the others believe in him.

I'm not going to tell you that Elf-Man is actually any good. It cannot do enough to distract from the lack of resources, especially when there's a need for some special effects, and the acting is a mix of complete amateurism and absolute ham (Combs being the hammiest, and I don't mean that as a criticism). The simple tale tries to have a bit of something for everyone, considering the central message, the jokes, and the cast, but there's a chance that most end up hating it. Except me. I didn't love it, but I was amused by a few moments.

Director Ethan Wiley has a few other movies under his belt, having started his directorial career with a couple of horror sequels, as does his screenplay co-writer Richard Jefferies, but it's hard to think of anyone being able to do much better with what's available here. Considering this is a vehicle for him, a big hurdle is the limited acting ability of Acuña. I like the guy, but he's definitely not a great actor.

A few other cast members do better though. Combs is the star, showing why he's had such an enduring career that has gained him a loyal fanbase. He's aided by fun turns from Coyne and Nichols (the villains are often the most fun parts of this kind of film). Kaiser and Robell do okay as the two children, Taylor and Astin aren't too bad, and Terry just has to spend the majority of the film looking a bit bemused. She's not great, but she's saved from being the worst in the film by Acuña, who is completely unable to both act and react naturally within any scene.

There's the expected sweetness here, but the most fun comes from a running gag about the quality of grandma's baking, as well as any scene that has Combs overacting in a way that takes him closer to being a fun cartoon. Coyne being hilariously inept at disguising himself is also fun, as is an interaction between Nichols and a friendly police officer. None of these little positives are enough to make the film one I could recommend to many others, but I definitely didn't find it as painful as expected. Regardless, I'll be a bit generous with my rating. It is Christmas, after all.

4/10

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Cellar Dweller (1988)

Although horror fans, and general movie fans, tend to know some of the big names in the world of practical effects, it always ends up being the same people who get most of the praise, and not without good reason. You have Tom Savini, Stan Winston, Rick Baker, Rob Bottin, the guys who formed KNB (Kurtzman, Nicotero, and Berger). Those who love to celebrate the classics may mention Willis O’Brien and, of course, Ray Harryhausen, but that’s about your lot. Meet someone who wants to wax lyrical about Screaming Mad George (real name = Joji Tani) and you’ve discovered a rarity. Then there’s John Carl Buechler, a special effects artists who had a great knack for making memorable puppet creations with fairly limited resources. He worked with Stuart Gordon a few times, was involved with at least one instalment of each of the big three slasher icon franchises, and gave us those irascible Ghoulies. He also sat in the director’s chair occasionally, this film being one of those with him at the helm, and I think that it is time for Buechler to get the proper praise he has long been due.

Yet another film that I wanted to see for decades, thanks to the combination of the title and the VHS box, Cellar Dweller is a simple and fantastical piece of work. Less of an outright horror movie and more of an adult version of an extended Goosebumps episode, it’s something that will remain enjoyable to anyone who loves the cheap ‘n’ cheerful schlock from the 1980s.

Debrah Farentino (billed here as Debrah Mullowney) plays a comic book artist named Whitney Taylor who ends up unleashing some major trouble when she spends time at an artist’s retreat, headed up by Mrs. Briggs (Yvonne De Carlo). It turns out that there’s a power in the place, a magic that can turn Whitney’s drawings into reality. It isn’t long until the titular cellar dweller starts killing off the other residents.

Written by Don Mancini, this is a brisk and amusing bit of silliness that benefits more from Buechler’s work on the special effects than it does from Buechler’s direction. Not that he does a terrible job in the latter role, but he certainly ends up maintaining a surprisingly lighter-than-expected tone throughout. There’s some attempt throughout the first half to craft some tension, helped by a decent score from Carl Dante, but that soon goes out the window as the daffiness of the main premise starts to outweigh the potential for real horror.

Cast-wise, people are good, not great. Taylor is a decent lead, and it’s fun to watch De Carlo in her supporting role, but few others make a strong impression, with the main exception being Brian Robbins (who would go on to become a director of some shocking Eddie Murphy movies decades later). Robbins plays a friend/artist/love interest and the third act makes the interesting choice to position him as a kind of “damsel in distress”, which may stem from Mancini having fun with the genre tropes. Or it’s maybe just because we are sticking with the female lead for the majority of the movie. The other name to mention here is Jeffrey Combs, only acting in the brief prologue, but doing enough to ensure that this film has an approved Combs quota.

If you end up watching this expecting some lo-fi gore and nastiness then you will be disappointed. This isn’t a blood-soaked shocker. It is, instead, the kind of cosy dark fantasy that we don’t tend to see made nowadays. It will give you a warm glow of nostalgia, it will have you once again remembering why practical effects, as flawed as they are, so often outshine CGI, and it will most likely keep you smiling as it entertains you for the brief, 77-minutes in all, runtime.

6/10

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Shudder Saturday: Castle Freak (1995)

In a stroke of typical bad luck for characters who may not realise they are in a horror movie, Castle Freak shows a family unit inheriting a spacious castle that happens to house a dangerous creature inside, hence the title. The family aren't in the happiest place to start with, and things may get a lot worse as the full horror of their situation becomes apparent.

Directed by Stuart Gordon, who once again decided to work with Dennis Paoli on a loose adaptation of a story from H. P. Lovecraft (a well they revisited, with varying degrees of success, numerous times throughout their careers), Castle Freak may not be the best work from all those involved, both cast and crew, but it's a wonderfully unpretentious and nasty little horror movie.

Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton play John and Susan Reilly, temporarily moving into the castle with their blind daughter, Rebecca (Jessica Dollarhide), and the backstory delivered shows that John caused a car accident, while drunk, that caused Rebecca's blindness. That would be bad enough in itself, but Susan cannot forgive her husband for also causing the death of their son in the same accident. John is trying to stay sober now, obviously, but it might be too late for him to make a change that will change how his wife views him. Meanwhile, the creature that was once being secretly cared for in the castle is about to start making noises in the night that put the new occupants on edge, And it's getting hungry.

Moving between old-fashioned standard horror (dark castle corridors, rattling chains, unknown sounds occurring at night), blood-drenched nastiness (there are one or two bodies that eventually get munched on by the hungry creature), and entertaining melodrama (Combs struggles to maintain sobriety until he opts to fall off the wagon with a vengeance), Castle Freak is a strange blend of elements that somehow all works, mainly thanks to the safe hands of Gordon and Paoli. Both men know how to get just the right tone in the horror works that they also mine for humour, and they're helped by a couple of genre stars who can deliver exactly what is asked of them.

Combs is the star who gets to have the most fun here, whether he is being rebuffed by his wife or getting himself as drunk as possible at a local bar, and he has a number of entertaining confrontations, be it with the local police, a prostitute, or the dangerous presence viewers know will eventually show itself to everyone in the third act. Crampton, as much as I love her, has much less to do, but she still feels right in the role (perhaps because she pairs up so well with Combs, perhaps because she's just a genuinely great scream queen when the time comes for her to be placed in peril). Dollarhide does okay, and Elisabeth Kaza plays a maid, Agnese, who occasionally has more than a slight air of Frau Blücher (*insert horse whinny sound here*) about her. It's also vital to mention Jonathan Fuller, playing Giorgio AKA the creature, who gives an excellent physical performance under a hefty amount of makeup.

If you're a fan of Stuart Gordon, especially if you have enjoyed his other films starring Combs and Crampton, then you should find a lot to enjoy here. It's not on the same level as his best work, but it's still worth your time, especially when things start to get ramped up in the second half.

7/10

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Netflix And Chill: FeardotCom (2002)

A film from the early 2000s that is all about a criminal apparently making use of the internet to ensnare victims, Feardotcom couldn't date itself any more if it tried. It doesn't help that it is helmed by William Malone, an inconsistent director who also gave us the fantastic remake of House On Haunted Hill and the sheer lunacy of Parasomnia. Malone likes to deliver films that have moments full of quickly-edited disturbing, sometimes mind-bending, imagery, and this is no different. It's just not as good as anything else he's done.

The basic plot concerns a killer (played by Stephen Rea) who is may or may not be infecting people with the help of a very dangerous website. Stephen Dorff is Mike, a detective who wonders why this killer is using the same method that led to him previously being caught, and Natascha McElhone is Terry, an employee from the Department Of Health, involved in the case because the first one or two victims have show initial signs of a virus being the cause of their deaths. With it being revealed that every victim ended up visiting www.feardotcom.com before they died, both Mike and Terry make the absolutely logical and sane decision to, ummmmm, visit www.feardotcom.com, which leads to dangerous hallucinations and paranoia. Can they keep themselves focused enough to catch the killer? MAYBE it would have been easier if they hadn't logged into the fucking website that seems to have killed off everyone else who visited it.

I have nothing good to say about FeardotCom, and this review could have easily been one profanity-laden stream of consciousness. The performances aren't great (Dorff is okay, McElhone has often just been a bit dead-eyed in her performances, Rea is aiming for a career low, and Jeffrey Combs is sorely underused), the visuals are downright ugly throughout, and the plot is just as ridiculous as anything churned out most months by The Asylum. I'm not surprised that this was the last feature script from writer Josephine Coyle, even if she was "helped" by a couple of other people, but I am surprised that anyone had the sheer nerve to give Malone a "Masters Of Horror" episode just a few years after this. Parasomnia currently stands as his last feature, and maybe that is for the best.

I have struggled to think of one thing positive to say about this, to end on a moderately upbeat note, and I have come up short. Even the Udo Kier cameo is far too short, while other supporting players who get a bit more screentime aren't as memorable. I quite liked the small role for Amelia Curtis, and her character gets to have what may be the only decent scene in the whole film, so I guess that will be the silver lining to this huge cloud. Feardotcom = worth struggling through if you're a REALLY big fan of Amelia Curtis. Everyone else should avoid it like the website at the heart of the plot.

2/10

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Yule Love It: Holiday Hell (2019)

Although not exactly dripping with tinsel and bright baubles throughout, Holiday Hell has enough Christmas elements contained within it to count as a Christmas horror movie, and I am counting it as such. It's an anthology film, with the wraparound story concerning a young woman (Amelia, played by Meagan Karimi-Naser) looking for a perfect last-minute gift for her sister. That's her reason for being in a strange shop, owned by a shopkeeper played by Jeffrey Combs, and leads to her hearing some tales about the items available to buy.

The first tale is "Dollface". It's not good. A group of irritating teens hang about in a house where something bad happened. Something bad happens. Next up is "The Hand That Rocks The Dreidel", a tale that gets a bonus point from me simply because of the quality pun power of the title (which I am sure I have used myself, as well as From The Dreidle To The Grave, when thinking up ideas for Hanukkah horrors). It's about a boy and his new rabbi doll, which is definitely the kind of odd gift that kids sometimes receive and isn't really just a movie plot device, honest. Third, the best of them all, is "Christmas Carnage", the story of a man who goes over the edge while wearing a Santa suit. Last, and surprisingly forgettable, is "Room To Let", before viewers head back to the store for one last time.

Okay, aside from Combs and Karimi-Naser, what can I tell you about Holiday Hell to recommend it to you? Joel Murray is the damaged individual at the centre of the madness in "Christmas Carnage", and that is definitely worth your time. What else? Nothing, sadly.

Written by Jeff Ferrell and Jeff Vigil, who also directed alongside Jeremy Berg (who is the only name I recognise here, having previously given us The Device, which was okay) and David Burns, this is a shockingly lazy piece of work, slapped together with the minimum amount of thought and effort, utilising genre tropes that we've seen so many times before, and usually done a lot better than this. Even the best tale is something that we've seen in plenty of other movies, in terms of both the mad Santa moments and also the downtrodden male figure twitching and seething until he snaps and gets his revenge on all those he feels wronged him. It's fine to work with familiar elements of the genre, of course, but there's a sense in every tale that those involved think they are giving things a fresh spin. They're not. Unless coating them in a thin layer of excrement amounts to the same thing.

Christmas and horror go together like Christmas pudding and custard. From the fireside tales of creepiness to the more modern staple of the killer Santa, or killer Krampus (and be wary when checking out any film that has tried to get some extra viewers just by sticking the word Krampus in the title). So it's surprising that nobody has really managed to put everything together into a more effective seasonal horror anthology. A Christmas Horror Story managed to be okay, All The Creatures Were Stirring tried, but wasn't too successful, and we're left with the realisation that none of them have yet to give us something as good as the "All Through The House" segment in Tales From The Crypt. Which is a great shame.

Avoid this one. Even if you're just trying to kill some time after overeating during the holidays.

3/10

It's here, if you're American and wanting to waste some cash.

Ani-MAY-tion: Scooby-Doo! & Batman: The Brave And The Bold (2018)

I've always enjoyed the adventures of Scooby-Doo and co. Who doesn't? Okay, the live-action movies weren't as good as they could have been (second one was better) but they weren't bad enough to stop me from enjoying the antics of the gang. But there have been so many incarnations of the Mystery Inc. adventures that I have never considered them an essential addition to my bulging roster of scheduled viewing entertainment. That all changed, however, when I heard about this crossover with the world of Batman (although this isn't the first time that the two properties have been brought together).

The story is quite simple. Batman enlists the help of the gang on a case that has been stumping him for some time. Things are so crazy that the police even start to suspect Batman and the Mystery Inc. investigators of being the actual perpetrators of the crimes. Who is the real culprit? Well, we all know that's going to be revealed in a finale that will involve explanations and unmaskings.

Here's the thing that works best about Scooby Doo! & Batman: The Brave And The Bold. It gets all of the Scooby-Doo fun right, which you'd expect. That would seem to be the easiest part. But mixing in Batman would possibly change the caped crusader into something a little bit sillier than usual. Not so. In fact, considering the amount of detective work involved, this version of Batman is superior to some other versions I could mention. You may not get many moments of tension or darkness, although a sequence in Arkham Asylum nicely balances the selection of dangerous inmates with a standard Scooby-Doo chase.

The voice cast will be familiar to viewers who have watched any previous adventures in either series. Frank Welker is the famous dog, as well as Fred, Matthew Lillard is Shaggy once again, Grey Griffin is Daphne, and Kate Micucci can deliver a fine "Jinkys" as Velma. Diedrich Bader is a perfectly acceptable Batman, not my favourite but he's okay, and there's fun to be had with John DiMaggio (as Aquaman, as well as some other characters), John Michael Higgins (The Riddler), Tara Strong (Harley Quin, Poison Ivy, and more) and Jeffrey Combs (The Question).

Director Jake Castorena, working from a script by Paul Giacoppo (from a story by James Tucker), does a great job here. Having worked on a number of Batman Unlimited TV episodes, he makes an enjoyable animated feature debut here, one that makes me even more excited to see the upcoming Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.

Although this could have been improved in places (I was sorely disappointed to see Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn so underused, for example), it reminded me of how much I enjoy seeing Batman do actual detective work and how much I still love any adventures featuring Scooby-Doo and co. I may have to figure out how I can one day work my way through the many Mystery Inc. adventures that are out there. That will all rely on timing, and a plentiful supply of Scooby Snacks.

7/10

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Dead By Dawn 2016: From Beyond (1986)

This review first appeared, in a very similar form, on Flickfeast.

Director Stuart Gordon reunites a few cast members from Re-Animator (Barbara Crampton and Jeffrey Combs) in another movie based on the work of H.P. Lovecraft and while it may not quite reach the giddy highs that the exploits of Herbert West did, it’s a solid horror that holds up surprisingly well.

Starting off with a very similar short, sharp shock sequence a la Re-Animator, we get to encounter Crawford Tillinghast (played by Combs) as he escapes from an experiment gone awry that has resulted in the death of Dr Pretorius (Ted Sorel). Pretorius was working on an invention known as a resonator that would help to stimulate the pineal gland and show more of that which normally remains unseen all around us. It worked too well, unfortunately, and while seeing amazing sights those using the resonator also attract bigger problems. Barbara Crampton plays Dr. Katherine McMichaels, a misguided professional who thinks that the way to help Tillinghast (now staying in a ward for those with mental problems) is to take him back to the scene of the carnage, accompanied by a large security presence in the shape of Ken Foree, and to re-enact the experiment. Of course that should be a good idea. I’m sure nothing at all will go wrong with that progressive method of helping a person many have already assumed mentally unbalanced. Quelle surprise, things start to go bad and then go from bad to worse.

This movie is a whole lot of fun for fans of horror and fans of any of the lead actors. Taking a very slight Lovecraft tale as its basis, it does very well in using the central concept (and let’s not overlook the great Brian Yuzna’s influence in the writing department here) and expanding upon it to create something truly memorable and entertaining. The special effects vary throughout the movie but many of them are very well done indeed, and there are certainly one or two moments that will make you queasy if you’re not already TOO hardened to everything the genre can throw at you.

Gordon paces things perfectly with that great intro then a nice build-up interspersed by a few quick fright/shock moments until we get to an all-out insanely entertaining final reel that feels more like a Frank Henenlotter movie at times but is all the more fun for it. Revisit this film if you have not seen it in a while and, like me, you may be pleasantly surprised at how well it stands up. And newcomers? Give it a try, you may end up liking it too. Although, do be warned, it also feels very much of the '80s (which remains a big plus point for me, although some don't view things the same way).

One final note . . . . . for one scene alone, seared on my memory at a tender age, this remains the lovely Barbara Crampton’s finest hour. Fans will already be smiling in acknowledgement while all other red-blooded males should definitely check it out just to fall in lust with the woman. What a gal.

From Beyond was followed up in this late late Dead By Dawn 2016 show by the superb Dead & Buried. I admit that my eyelids didn't allow me to stick it out until the end, but here is my review from my last viewing of that particular slice of horror greatness.

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8/10

Would You Rather (2012)

Horror films that are based around forcing people to make unpleasant choices have been increasingly popular since the Saw series became a huge hit. We've had some good ones (although I admit that there isn't a title springing to mind right now) and some not so good (Choose being a pretty lacklustre effort). Thankfully, Would You Rather is a good one, helped enormously by a typical performance from Jeffrey Combs that mixes charm with more than just a hint of lunacy.

The plot revolves around a young woman (Iris, played by Brittany Snow) who is desperate to turn her life around. She needs money, and a lot of it. Not for herself, you understand. She has a younger brother who is very ill. Combs is Shepard Lambrick, a very wealthy man who occasionally invites a number of people to dine in his home, before revealing to them the particulars of a game that he likes to play. A game that sees how much people can be bought for, and how quickly they can change the nature of their ways for a large enough reward.

There's a solid cast of supporting players onscreen here, including John Heard and Sasha Grey (not the best actress ever, but she acquits herself just fine), but there's no mistaking that Snow is the leading lady and plenty of time has been set aside for Combs to grandstand as he so easily can. The fact that the likes of Eddie Steeples, Robin Taylor, Enver Gjokaj and Jonny Coyne all still manage to make an impression is testament to the capable script (by Steffen Schlachtenhaufen) and direction (by David Guy Levy) giving everyone at least one memorable moment.

A number of moments made me really wince, so kudos to the warped minds who came up with the increasing pain meted out to everyone involved, but it's a shame that Would You Rather undermines its own premise far too early, making everyone a forced participant in the sadistic game rather than having their conscience eroded gradually by the riches on offer.

Well worth a watch, even if you look away during the harsher moments.

7/10

http://www.amazon.com/Would-Rather-Blu-ray-Brittany-Snow/dp/B00CBFB8WG/ref=sr_1_3?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1389209604&sr=1-3&keywords=would+you+rather

Trancers II (1991)

For anyone interested, my review of the first movie is on Flickfeast here.

Jack Deth (Tim Thomerson) returns to take on more Trancers in this hugely enjoyable sequel. Helen Hunt is also back, as Lena, and the film continues on from the events of the first movie, albeit six years later. Yes, Jack has been settled in the past now for six years and he's quite happy but he can sense something in the air, some vibe that somehow lets him know that Trancers are in the vicinity. What are Trancers, you might ask? Well, you have to watch the first movie to make sure that you're fully informed.

This sequel starts off a bit uncertainly but quickly hits its stride and then never pauses long enough for all of the nonsense to spoil the sense of fun. After an opening sequence that introduces the situation and characters and briefly tries to make the science stuff believable it's all about fun with the Deths and the people who end up having their lives saved by Jack.

With Charles Band directing once again, and Jackson Barr returning for the writing duties, there's certainly no big gap between the tone of this movie and the tone of the original. Deth is still a gruff guy, happier shooting a gun than trying to verbalise any emotions, and he's still a great central character.

Thomerson excels yet again in the lead role, and Hunt is also just as enjoyable as she was in the first movie. Art LaFleur and Telma Hopkins return, albeit briefly, and Biff Manard and Megan Ward have fun with their roles. Richard Lynch puts in a decent performance as the main villain while horror fans will love seeing supporting roles for Martine Beswick, Jeffrey Combs and the lovely Barbara Crampton.

There are a number of moments when the low budget becomes a bit obvious but that can't detract from the sheer sense of fun that fills every frame once Jack Deth sets his sights on baddies that he can happily blast away. Some additional emotional complication (Megan Ward's character is the future wife of Jack Deth, which displeases Helen Hunt, his wife in the present) is largely played for comedy value but adds a satisfying heart to all of the gunfights, gadgetry (the long-second watch returns) and paradoxes. If you liked the first movie then I see absolutely no reason why you wouldn't enjoy this sequel just as much.

7/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Trancers-2-DVD/dp/B00006LSGS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1341596821&sr=8-1