I may have mentioned this before, but there are two names very familiar to anyone who was busy conversing on the IMDb message boards back at the turn of the 21st century. Those names are Nick Palumbo and Brian Herzlinger. The former claimed to have made a notorious and unsettling gorefest or two, and the latter was busy telling everyone about his clumsy and lacklustre movie, My Date With Drew. What they both had in common was a knack for spamming. It was hard to get beyond those irritating/unpleasant interactions and actually rate the movies according to simply the movie itself, but I tried hard. Still . . . seeing either name on the opening credits will always cause me to shudder.
Christmas At Plumhill Manor is directed by Brian Herzlinger, with a screenplay co-written by Megan Henry Herzlinger (who seems to be his wife and seems to, at the moment, exclusively gain work from her husband) and Avery Henry-Bailey. While I wouldn't call it the worst of the worst, it has clarified something in my mind about Herzlinger. He's better at selling an idea of his film than he is at actually making the thing, although I'll have to begrudgingly make the slightest concession towards being complimentary for the fact that he has somehow done enough over the past couple of decades to maintain the career that he wanted when he first started out.
But let's get to the film. A successful American architect named Margot (Maria Menounos) is very surprised when she inherits and old English estate from her Aunt Victoria. Margot never knew this relation, but it turns out that the two might yet forge a strong connection between them. Initially determined to check out the property while she is forced to stay there for one week, Margot soon comes around to the charm of the area and the local people. She is also intrigued by a series of notes/clues left by her Aunt Victoria that end up directing her to . . . well, you'll have to wait and see.
If this premise wasn't written with the idea of naming the film Victoria's Secret Christmas, or maybe Christmas Victoria's Secret, then I'll eat any of the paper party hats that fall out of the Christmas crackers this year. That would be more fun than listening to Menounos read out the various clues here that lead to horribly obvious answers, and a conclusion that makes no sense (although, to be fair, that's a common element in many Christmas movies, but it's easier to overlook in the more enjoyable ones).
Although she's not great, Menounos isn't a terrible lead. She was clearly picked for her availability ahead of her acting talent though, as far as I can tell, and is outshone by a number of her co-stars. Kyle Pryor tries hard as Alfie, the handsome local man who catches her eye, and obviously argues passionately in favour of keeping the estate in the hands of someone who will care enough about it. Caroline Colomei is reasonably fun as Jackie, the driver/helper/local bartender, but her comedy patter feels far too broad and whacky compared to the rest of the film. Stewart Alexander swaggers into a couple of scenes as the American boss, Mr. Calvaux, who is interested in redesigning and rebuilding the estate, and David Shaw Parker is absolutely fine in the role of Thomas, a kind and wise gardener, as well as the father of Alfie.
While it's not good, it has some picturesque footage (even if it rarely feels Christmassy enough), bland leads set to enjoy some chaste romance once they can see eye to eye, some home-made plum cider, and an annoyingly "sweet" child who at least only appears in a couple of scenes. I don't want my opinion of Herzlinger to sway me towards being too harsh on it, but I also don't want my worry about being swayed towards being too harsh on it then sway me towards being too kind to it. What a conundrum. Is it terrible? No, not for what it aims to do. Would I recommend it? No. There are a lot of better Christmas movies to enjoy ahead of this one.
3/10
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