Shudder Saturday: V/H/S/99 (2022)

I'm not sure how others feel about it, but I am happy that the V/H/S horror anthology movie series has been allowed to go on for as long as it has, and long may it continue. After my disappointment with the third instalment, everything else so far has kept me very entertained, and it's almost as if each one now keeps trying to just get a little bit weirder and wilder, with the emphasis more on fun than nerve-shredding horror. 

We get five tales of terror here. First up is "Shredding", written and directed by Maggie Levin. This is all about an amateur band that decides to break into an allegedly haunted, abandoned, music venue and upset some spirits by rocking out on the stage. Then it's "Suicide Bid", a Johannes Roberts-helmed story of a young woman who reluctantly agrees to be buried alive in order to be accepted into the one and only sorority she has applied to join. "Ozzy's Dungeon" (directed by Flying Lotus, who co-wrote it with Zoe Cooper) is all about the host of a children's game show being tortured by the parent of a child who was seriously injured trying to complete the final challenge on his show. "The Gawkers" (directed by Tyler MacIntyre, who co-wrote it with Chris Lee Hill) has some young men trying to spy on an attractive new neighbour . . . with complete ignorance of the danger they will find themselves in. And then, last but not least, Joseph and Vanessa Winter (aka the Deadstream people) give viewers "To Hell And Back", which is basically summed up by that title.

The only reason I won't name-check everyone onscreen here is because there are too many people to consider, as is often the case with anthology movies, but Ally Ioannides, Steven Ogg, and Melanie Stone were the highlights for me. Ioannides plays Lily, the young woman desperate to join a sorority in "Suicide Bid", Ogg plays the host of "Ozzy's Dungeon, and Stone has a lot of fun as some kind of hell imp in "To Hell And Back". I must say, however, that it's great to not want to single anyone out in a negative way. The shooting style, and ridiculousness of everything, helps, but there isn't anyone here stinking up the place.

Two tales here stood out for me, and those were "Suicide Bid" (Roberts is someone I think always deserves more love from horror fans) and "To Hell And Back" (Joseph and Vanessa Winter really underlining their emergence as names to keep an eye on). "The Gawkers" ranks just below those, boosted by a finale that makes use of a classic monster in a fun and interesting way. Then it's "Shredding", a fun start to things that is undermined by the overuse of the VHS stylisation, and "Ozzy's Dungeon" brings up the rear, although it's still perfectly enjoyable.

Even people who are used to me being quite vague in my movie reviews may feel that I have given away even less than usual here. I am erring on the side of caution, but every part of this film is more enjoyable for the fact that you can quickly figure things out as things unfold. You know that the people involved want to revel in the chance to cut loose and throw around a decent amount of insanity and gore, and every little twist or tweak is always in service of the fun factor.

If you already like this series then you should enjoy this latest entry, particularly if, like myself, you have enjoyed the revival of some modern horror anthologies that seemed destined to end on a low note some years ago.

7/10

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Patchwork (2015)

Patchwork is a strange film, one that lives up to the title in more ways than one. Being more than slightly influenced by the great Frank Henenlotter, this is a horror comedy that just doesn’t really know how to get the ratio right when it comes to the different ingredients. Some of the comedy is amusing enough, but it’s never as funny as it could be, some of the gore gags are good, although surprisingly restrained, and the enjoyably wild premise is treated in a way that feels far too sensible for what should be an outrageous tale.

Directed and co-written by Tyler Macintyre (Chris Lee Hill is the other writer), Patchwork is all about a young woman who wakes up one morning to find out that she has been stitched together into one body that also includes two other women. This is shown with some decent practical make up and scenes that show the three female personalities presented as individual, whole females (played by Tory Stolper, Tracey Fairaway, and Maria Blasucci). The women want to find out what happened to them, and set off to retrace their tracks while viewers are shown various flashbacks that tease out the full story.

With decent performances from all three leads (particularly Stolper), and solid work from everyone else involved, and a fun structure that allows for some enjoyable reveals as things unfold, Patchwork is certainly a cut above many other low-budget films you could pick from the past few years. Everything is put together well enough, and it all feels cared for and polished.

Unfortunately, that care and polish may be a contributing factor to it never working as well as it should. This is a film that, for me, should feel a bit grimy and rough around the edges. It should have scenes practically overwhelmed by bloodshed and wallow in the potential tastelessness of the premise. There's certainly one scene that comes close to doing that, and it's a funny one, but nothing else comes close, which is a shame.

Macintyre and Hill show great potential, developing the feature from their short of the previous year (which also featured Stolper), and they managed to take a small step up with their next feature (Tragedy Girls), but this is a case of unfulfilled potential, which isn't something I expected to say about a horror comedy featuring three women stitched together into the one body. Maybe they'll do better when they come up with Patchwork 2: Battle Of The Sexes, because surely the next step is to merge a man and a woman and let gory hilarity ensue.

6/10

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