Shudder Saturday: It's A Wonderful Knife (2023)

It's a fun premise, and one that many horror fans seemed to warm to as soon as the trailer dropped. What if you made It's A Wonderful Life, but had the lead character fail to realise that her non-existence would leave a killer free to continue a murder spree that she'd managed to stop one whole year ago? That's it. And you would think that was an easy way to have a lot of fun. It turns out that you need a bit more than just that great concept though.

Jane Widdop plays Winnie Carruthers, the young woman who becomes the George Bailey of this movie. Although things have been much better for her family since she dealt with a stab-happy killer the previous Christmas, she doesn't feel that anything has gone her way. Not getting into her chosen university, not having a decent boyfriend, and not even being given a thoughtful main Christmas present from her family. So she decides to wish that she'd never been born, which puts her in a strange and darker version of the town that she grew up in. A killer seems to be building up quite the bodycount, her parents don't know who she is, her brother is dead (because she wasn't there to save him), and people are just having a really bad time of things. Winnie eventually enlists the help of Bernie (Jess McLeod), a young woman ostracised by many of her peers, and she also manages to convince her cool aunt, Gale (Katharine Isabelle), of the reality of her weird circumstances. She cannot get through to her dad (Joel McHale) though, and she cannot convince enough people that the killer may be someone they see almost every single day. Meanwhile, Mayor Henry Waters (Justin Long) is reaping many benefits, and he might not want things to go back to how they were.

Director Tyler MacIntyre has a lot of fans in the horror genre, having helmed both Patchwork and Tragedy Girls in the past decade. While both of those films have flaws, they're also good enough to have marked McIntyre out as someone to keep an eye on. This film, written by Michael Kennedy (who was a co-writer on Freaky), feels like a step back. It's surprisingly unimaginative, far too tame when it comes to the kills, and doesn't feel as if it ever fully realises the potential of the premise. There's no real sense of mystery when it comes to the identity of the killer, the "butterfly effect" of Winnie's non-existence seems to run through a tiresome check-list of the most obvious negatives, and it lacks a sense of fun for most of the runtime (if you're not going to deliver bloody kills then at least make it fun).

It also doesn't help that Widdop feels like a disappointingly weak lead. I've not seen them in anything else, not that I can remember anyway, and I'm sorry to say that they don't have much screen presense, nor do they have the right way of delivering the dialogue when it is supposed to show them being emboldened and badass. McLeod is a lot better in her role, and Isabelle is always welcome onscreen, but nobody can do enough to make up for that notable mis-step in casting. Long tries his best, helped in his performance by capped teeth and mannerisms that make him as funny as he is creepy, but his energy is offset by the far-too-laid-back performance of McHale (hey, I like the guy, he doesn't work here though).

Perhaps part of my disappointment in this stems from my enthusiasm for it. I loved the concept, and the trailer did enough to win me over. I was hoping it would be a new seasonal slasher treat, despite the fact that we're definitely not short on those recently. It wasn't to be though. I hope MacIntyre finds something better for his next project, and I hope Kennedy goes back to co-writing as he hones his craft. And while I wasn't a fan of Widdop here, I am glad to have been introduced to McLeod, who seems to have built up a hefty filmography so far mostly full of shorts and TV work. I look forward to seeing her in more features in the years ahead.

The film may not be wonderful, but I can't dismiss it as awful either. It gets a bonus point for the title alone.

5/10

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Shudder Saturday: V/H/S/99 (2022)

I'm not sure how others feel about it, but I am happy that the V/H/S horror anthology movie series has been allowed to go on for as long as it has, and long may it continue. After my disappointment with the third instalment, everything else so far has kept me very entertained, and it's almost as if each one now keeps trying to just get a little bit weirder and wilder, with the emphasis more on fun than nerve-shredding horror. 

We get five tales of terror here. First up is "Shredding", written and directed by Maggie Levin. This is all about an amateur band that decides to break into an allegedly haunted, abandoned, music venue and upset some spirits by rocking out on the stage. Then it's "Suicide Bid", a Johannes Roberts-helmed story of a young woman who reluctantly agrees to be buried alive in order to be accepted into the one and only sorority she has applied to join. "Ozzy's Dungeon" (directed by Flying Lotus, who co-wrote it with Zoe Cooper) is all about the host of a children's game show being tortured by the parent of a child who was seriously injured trying to complete the final challenge on his show. "The Gawkers" (directed by Tyler MacIntyre, who co-wrote it with Chris Lee Hill) has some young men trying to spy on an attractive new neighbour . . . with complete ignorance of the danger they will find themselves in. And then, last but not least, Joseph and Vanessa Winter (aka the Deadstream people) give viewers "To Hell And Back", which is basically summed up by that title.

The only reason I won't name-check everyone onscreen here is because there are too many people to consider, as is often the case with anthology movies, but Ally Ioannides, Steven Ogg, and Melanie Stone were the highlights for me. Ioannides plays Lily, the young woman desperate to join a sorority in "Suicide Bid", Ogg plays the host of "Ozzy's Dungeon, and Stone has a lot of fun as some kind of hell imp in "To Hell And Back". I must say, however, that it's great to not want to single anyone out in a negative way. The shooting style, and ridiculousness of everything, helps, but there isn't anyone here stinking up the place.

Two tales here stood out for me, and those were "Suicide Bid" (Roberts is someone I think always deserves more love from horror fans) and "To Hell And Back" (Joseph and Vanessa Winter really underlining their emergence as names to keep an eye on). "The Gawkers" ranks just below those, boosted by a finale that makes use of a classic monster in a fun and interesting way. Then it's "Shredding", a fun start to things that is undermined by the overuse of the VHS stylisation, and "Ozzy's Dungeon" brings up the rear, although it's still perfectly enjoyable.

Even people who are used to me being quite vague in my movie reviews may feel that I have given away even less than usual here. I am erring on the side of caution, but every part of this film is more enjoyable for the fact that you can quickly figure things out as things unfold. You know that the people involved want to revel in the chance to cut loose and throw around a decent amount of insanity and gore, and every little twist or tweak is always in service of the fun factor.

If you already like this series then you should enjoy this latest entry, particularly if, like myself, you have enjoyed the revival of some modern horror anthologies that seemed destined to end on a low note some years ago.

7/10

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Patchwork (2015)

Patchwork is a strange film, one that lives up to the title in more ways than one. Being more than slightly influenced by the great Frank Henenlotter, this is a horror comedy that just doesn’t really know how to get the ratio right when it comes to the different ingredients. Some of the comedy is amusing enough, but it’s never as funny as it could be, some of the gore gags are good, although surprisingly restrained, and the enjoyably wild premise is treated in a way that feels far too sensible for what should be an outrageous tale.

Directed and co-written by Tyler Macintyre (Chris Lee Hill is the other writer), Patchwork is all about a young woman who wakes up one morning to find out that she has been stitched together into one body that also includes two other women. This is shown with some decent practical make up and scenes that show the three female personalities presented as individual, whole females (played by Tory Stolper, Tracey Fairaway, and Maria Blasucci). The women want to find out what happened to them, and set off to retrace their tracks while viewers are shown various flashbacks that tease out the full story.

With decent performances from all three leads (particularly Stolper), and solid work from everyone else involved, and a fun structure that allows for some enjoyable reveals as things unfold, Patchwork is certainly a cut above many other low-budget films you could pick from the past few years. Everything is put together well enough, and it all feels cared for and polished.

Unfortunately, that care and polish may be a contributing factor to it never working as well as it should. This is a film that, for me, should feel a bit grimy and rough around the edges. It should have scenes practically overwhelmed by bloodshed and wallow in the potential tastelessness of the premise. There's certainly one scene that comes close to doing that, and it's a funny one, but nothing else comes close, which is a shame.

Macintyre and Hill show great potential, developing the feature from their short of the previous year (which also featured Stolper), and they managed to take a small step up with their next feature (Tragedy Girls), but this is a case of unfulfilled potential, which isn't something I expected to say about a horror comedy featuring three women stitched together into the one body. Maybe they'll do better when they come up with Patchwork 2: Battle Of The Sexes, because surely the next step is to merge a man and a woman and let gory hilarity ensue.

6/10

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