Ghosted (2023)

A mix of action and rom-com starring Chris Evans and Ana de Armas in the lead roles, Ghosted should have been an easy success. The familiar faces, the familiar plotting, and a succession of cameos make it an obvious choice for some straightforward entertainment. There's a reason that it's pretty much been forgotten already though. It's not good. It's hard to describe as truly awful, although I am sure some will, but it's certainly as bland as some vegetable that has had all of the flavour boiled out of it.

Evans plays Cole Turner, a young man who falls hard for Sadie Rhodes (De Armas). He thinks that it might be a good idea, after spending one day with her, to pay her a surprise visit in London. Things don't go according to plan though, with Cole soon abducted by people who believe him to be an infamous CIA agent known as "The Taxman". Can you guess who is actually that agent? Bickering, gunfights, and various hijinks soon ensue.

Written by the not-insubstantial-quartet of Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Chris McKenna, and Erik Sommers, Ghosted is what happens when you believe that your film has enough star power to ignore things like proper wit, pacing, and characters with some depth. There is nothing to this when you remove the stars. Nothing.

Director Dexter Fletcher is often a capable talent, but he is clearly hamstrung here by the demands of delivering such studio fluff. The action doesn’t have any weight or impact, there’s a surprising, and debilitating, lack of chemistry between the two leads, and nothing is done to make things more interesting around the superficial glossy smoothness of everything.

Evans and De Armas have rarely been worse. They can be charismatic, they can be convincing with action beats and physical work, and they can be fun, but you wouldn’t know that from watching this. Adrien Brody is a main villain, but feels like the wrong choice in every scene focusing on him. It’s either him just cashing a big cheque or not able to find his way into a performance that should just be a bit ridiculous and entertaining. Nobody else makes much of an impression, and the many cameos that crop up feel like a desperate and lazy attempt to please Marvel fans. They are smug and unfunny, like so many other parts of the movie.

I still won’t describe this as truly awful, there were one or two moments I enjoyed before completely losing any optimism about it improving, but it is bad. Very bad. It deserves to be as forgotten as it already is, and I am sure the main cast members are happy to see it fade from memory so quickly.

3/10

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Netflix And Chill: Rocketman (2019)

Okay, here's the thing about my review of Rocketman. I had to decide early on whether I wanted to mention Bohemian Rhapsody. Part of me thought it was unfair to do a piece comparing and contrasting the two. Another part of me realised that this film highlights just how much was wrong with the other film, and they do have a lot of connective tissue (from the onscreen subject matter to the use of Dexter Fletcher behind the camera).

This is the story of how Elton John became Elton John, from his humble and quite difficult childhood years, as Reginald Dwight, through a number of years blurred by a quest for love that also saw him embracing excess in every part of his life, from his stage presence to his problems with alcohol and drugs. That's about all you need to know about this musical journey through the life of Elton John. And it obviously helps if you like at least some of his songs . . . and who doesn't like at least some of his songs?

The best decisions made by director Dexter Fletcher and writer Lee Hall involve the staging of this material. What you get is a proper musical, with a proper feeling of artifice at every turn. Hall has a solid background in films that either make great use of music or adapt stage work to screen (having worked on the likes of Billy Elliot, War Horse, and, errrrr, Cats). And Fletcher had a big hit with the film adaptation of Sunshine On Leith, of course, and seems to have a knack for creating rousing moments that prove to be easy audience-pleasers. It helps that Elton himself is the kind of figure you can imagine seeing the world in such an overdone and stylish way, working for many years with a hazy filter of booze and drugs over his trademark spectacles.

Taron Egerton is superb in the lead role, very much a believable combination of the tortured artist and the constant showman. It's a superb transformation, and arguably his best onscreen performance to date (which comes after a burgeoning career already full of pretty great turns). Jamie Bell is Bernie Taupin, a vital figure in Elton's life, and he's okay, left to be the one really decent figure in a sea of people who seem to be either manipulating or using our lead, or both. Bryce Dallas Howard and Steven Mackintosh are fairly horrible parents, but both are outshone by the deliberate coldness and cruelty of John Reid, which allows Richard Madden to impress in a performance that paints him in a very unflattering light, both physically and in terms of his character.

Although there are moments in which Elton John licks his wounds and indulges in a session or two of self-pity, deservedly so, the other big plus about the film is the self-awareness. We're not being shown a saint, at times we're not even being shown someone being very nice at all. We're shown someone with a huge amount of talent who took a long time to find the coping mechanisms required to maintain some kind of mental equilibrium. And he's often mistreated by those who should have been there to help him.

It's a happy film, overall, but there's plenty of unhappiness to wade through on the way to the ending we all know is waiting. The songs help to offset the darker moments, as do the wardrobe choices and the cutting wit of the dialogue at times. It's also deceptively inspiring. I hope anyone who has spent time trying to maintain toxic relationships can look at this and realise that cutting those people from your life can absolutely complement any attempt to cut out any health-endangering vice that you may have. As the life of Elton John proves, you can start to focus on your health and true happiness at any age. You may stumble, you may not always have the focus or motivation, but making that start is the best thing you can do. And it may just lead to a whole new lease of life for you. It did for him.

And one last testament to the film, I wrote this review while listening to a playlist of Elton John songs. Because I was reminded of how many of them I really like.

8/10

Here's the bit everyone ignores . . .
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Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)

Okay, I cannot really formulate my thoughts on this film in a way that makes sense, but I'm going to try my best to explain myself. A lot of Bohemian Rhapsody is quite rubbish. It is laughable that the film won an Academy Award for best editing, especially when you can highlight some key sequences that wouldn't look out of place in a Paul W. S. Anderson movie. It is a "greatest hits" version of the history of Queen, and the life of charismatic frontman Freddie Mercury. It's a family-friendly rock opera, in a way, with the mix of humour, tragedy, and elation you can expect from such a thing. And yet . . . that doesn't stop it from being a bloody good time. The highlights are absolutely goosebump-inducing, and easily impressive enough to make up for the weaker aspects.

Rami Malek is Freddie, in a performance absolutely deserving of all the praise heaped upon him, as well as his win at the 2019 Oscars. He becomes the lynchpin of Queen, with the talent of Brian May (Gwilym Lee), Roger Taylor (Ben Hardy), and John Deacon (Joe Mazzello). He also develops a life-long relationship with Mary Austin (Lucy Boynton), constantly astounds the band manager (Aidan Gillen) with his vision, and his ability to make that vision into a fan-pleasing reality, and enjoys gently mocking the lawyer that they have in their corner, Jim 'Miami' Beach (Tom Hollander). And, as the start of the film makes abundantly clear (as does the advertising imagery and any trailers you may have seen), it all leads to a legendary live performance at Live Aid in 1985.

Directed by Bryan Singer (but with the whole thing finished in the last few weeks by Dexter Fletcher after Singer had gone AWOL for a while), Bohemian Rhapsody is almost exactly what you want it to be. As long as you want it to be a fun time in the company of Queen. The screenplay, written by Anthony McCarten, is more concerned with keeping viewers entertained and in high spirits than it is with providing a story that feels grounded in the truth. Even the moments that really happened just feel so unreal, so apocryphal, that it never allows the film to feel like anything more than a rocking fairytale.

It's a good job that Malek is uncannily good in the main role, and that you have Gillen and Hollander to look out for, because none of the other main cast members do anything worthwhile. Well, none of the cast members portraying members of Queen anyway. Lee, Hardy, and Mazzello are poorly treated in a storyline that serves as nothing more than a testament to someone they obviously loved. The sad thing is that you get the feeling that everyone deserved something a bit better, even if that meant showing more of the low points and exploring just what would drive the band, individually and together. Boynton is the other person who actually manages to make an impact, thanks to both her performance and the fact that she is the only character in the film given any hint of depth.

Please believe me when I say that I am not being snobbish (and people who know the wide variety of films I watch will know I am no film snob) by saying that this is quite rubbish, and quite rubbish in oh so many ways. Yet, despite the myriad flaws, it's easy to see why it's a crowd-pleaser. You get all of those familiar Queen songs, you get a number of great moments, and you get a finale that is up there with the best I can think of, in terms of making you want to stamp your feet, throw your fist in the air, and vicariously join in with one of the greatest live performances of all time.

6/10

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Prime Time: Terminal (2018)

When watching Terminal, there were two things that I strongly suspected. First of all, it was written and directed by one person. Second, that person was making their feature directorial debut. But would my suspicions prove to be correct?

Written and directed by Vaughn Stein, making his directorial feature debut, Terminal is a neon-splashed neo-noir that takes a game cast (Margot Robbie, Dexter Fletcher, Max Irons, Simon Pegg, and Mike Myers) and squanders them in a muddle of horrible plotting and horribly overt references to the most famous writings of Lewis Carroll.

Robbie is a mischievous woman names Annie, who works in a diner, but also works in a number of other roles. She encounters a dying man (Bill, played by Pegg) and sets out to help him end his misery. She also encounters a couple of contract criminals (played by Fletcher and Irons), setting out to put them on a job that may end up pitting them against one another. And she's helped by a crippled train station janitor (Mike Myers). The grand finale may try to convince you that more connections abound, and that this is a film plotted with interesting clues and details, but that's not true. You can believe it if you want to, and I won't begrudge anyone trying to find something more substantial within what they've just watched, but it doesn't make it any more true. It also doesn't mean that this is a film without some entertainment value.

There are things to enjoy here, not least of them being the central performance from Robbie, who is as watchable and enjoyable as ever (despite one or two moments in which the accent wavers). Fletcher and Irons aren't on the same level, but Pegg has fun with his scenes, and Myers makes the most of his biggest onscreen role in a long time.

The visuals are also a plus. This film isn't set in a reality. It's set in a dangerous world that feels populated only by unsavoury characters, supporting players who may not realise the tale being woven around them, and a select few vibrant personalities who dominate any scene they're in. There may not be an entire world built before you, and what's there may not feel authentic, but there are a number of wonderful sets, each one resonating with a special sense of cinematic cool. This is homage-by-numbers from almost start to finish, but the films and tropes being homaged are so much better than the main feature that they drag things up a notch.

It's sad that Stein is the biggest failing that the film has. He shows that he's capable when it comes to the visuals and a handful of cinematic tricks and flourishes, but the script is never as clever, nor as witty, as it thinks it is, which is a big problem when there also isn't enough originality or substance to make up for it. This is a bowl of wax fruit, it's appealing enough on the surface but won't feed you, and therefore feels ultimately pointless whenever you need something real.

4/10

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Layer Cake (2004)

Layer Cake is an important movie for a number of reasons. Firstly, it's the film that saw the hugely talented Matthew Vaughn step out from the shadow of Guy Ritchie (he'd previously been producer on Ritchie's movies). Secondly, it showed Daniel Craig's leading man potential and even, yes, gives him a Bond moment. Third, it showed that British crime movies could still be fresh and entertaining without coming across as some pale Lock, Stock-wannabe. Fourth . . . . okay, I'm not sure if there are any more reasons so I'll stop there. But Layer Cake is certainly more, thanks to what it achieved, than just another UK gangster movie.

The story revolves all around Daniel Craig's smart drug dealer, a man who wants to make his million and get out of the business. Of course, anyone who makes the big shots a lot of money will always struggle to extricate themselves from the criminal lifestyle and that's exactly the case here. Avoiding the police, trying to stay alive and setting up a deal involving a million stolen pills, Craig really has his work cut out for him.

Mixing a smart script with great performances (Craig is superb but he's more than capably supported by the likes of Kenneth Cranham, Colm Meaney, Michael Gambon and everyone else who appears alongside him), cool visuals and an ideal soundtrack this film may not cover any new ground but it gives everything a fresh coat of paint with it's easygoing, effortless air of . . . . cool. This film has style in abundance. That's not to say that it glorifies the lifestyles shown or any of the violence we see, hell no. There are people here we'd never want to meet in real life and when things erupt into violence they do so with absolute brutality, impacting on the lives of those involved. There are no consequence-free, thoughtless actions here. Everything is weighed up and accounted for, even if it's after the fact.

It's an absolute corker of a film that has grown on me with each subsequent viewing. I'm sure that many others will still simply cast it aside as "yet another British gangster flick" but that's not the case and I hope that others give it a chance and end up enjoying it as much as I do.

9/10

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