Children Of The Corn V: Fields Of Terror (1998)

There's surely an easy answer, but I can't think of a horror movie franchise that overstayed its welcome as quickly as the Children Of The Corn franchise. The second movie may have been the worst of the lot, so far, but no instalment beyond the first movie seems to be able to claw its way up to the level of average. They stink. Children Of The Corn V: Fields Of Terror does nothing to make me think that there's light at the end of this particular tunnel.

The story goes like this: a bunch of teenagers find themselves in a small town named Divinity Falls. They upset some evil children who live in the area and are given a week to leave. Unfortunately, their car is put out of action so leaving becomes a bit of a problem. There's a man (David Carradine) in the area who leads the children, acting as the physical embodiment of He Who Walks Behind The Rows, and one of the teenagers suddenly realises that her brother should number among his young followers. She sets out to meet, and perhaps save, him and then things start to get more dangerous.

Written and directed by Ethan Wiley, this particular instalment of "The Fields Have Ears" is notable for the inclusion of David Carradine, Fred Williamson and a rather naive Eva Mendes (who somehow managed to get her career on track after appearing in nonsense like this and Urban Legends: Final Cut). They may not have the MAIN roles - Stacy Galina is the main gal and her brother, Jacob, is played by Dave Buzzotta - but they get a decent amount of screentime. Kane Hodder gets one enjoyable scene, and Alexis Arquette is the other recognisable face to be dragged through the rows.

The acting isn't so bad that it causes an eye-watering stench, but it's impossible for anyone onscreen to improve the stodgy material they have to work with. The script is stupid and unimaginative, and the direction does nothing to cover up its weaknesses. But if, like me, you've endured the previous movies to get to this one then you already know what to expect.

The REALLY good news? If you've made it this far then there are only a few movies left to endure before you can be well and truly done with the franchise.

3/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Children-Of-The-Corn-Fields/dp/B0002ISGBK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1379456632&sr=8-1&keywords=children+of+the+corn+5

Poison Ivy: The New Seduction (1997)

The third Poison Ivy movie is fantastic, it's on a par with the first movie, and that's thanks to two main contributing factors. First of all, the presence of the gorgeous Jaime Pressly and the fact that she began her career not worrying about getting any "no nudity" clause in her contract (thank the lord). Secondly, the movie just takes the trashy core of the material and runs with it. Plausibility and drama are thrown out of the window, only to be replaced by the vicarious thrill provided by Violet (played by Pressly) getting all of the pieces in place for her grand revenge.

We begin with a bit of infidelity which leads to a woman leaving her place of work with her two young daughters, Ivy and Violet. We know how Ivy turned out but this story focuses on Violet. She returns to the household many years later to reconnect with her friend, Joy (played by Megan Edwards), but the audience is well aware from the very beginning that Violet just wants to get herself in a position where she can destroy the household. Joy has a chance to be recognised as a very capable tennis player - that needs ruined. Joy has a decent boyfriend - that needs ruined. Joy has a father who may end up finding happiness once again, long after the passing of his wife - that needs ruined. You see the pattern? Yep, everything needs ruined and Violet is not averse to using her obvious charms and sexuality to get what she wants.

Directed by Kurt Voss, and written by Karen Kelly, Poison Ivy: The New Seduction takes many familiar elements of the erotic thriller and throws them in the mix with a healthy sense of fun and plenty of onscreen time for the enormously appealing Jaime Pressly (can you tell that I've had a crush on her for a long time yet?). It's silly but it doesn't claim to be serious. It's also sexy when it needs to be and it's entertaining from start to finish.

The cast are all just fine. Pressly, of course, is the centre of attention, and deservedly so, but Megan Edwards is okay in her role, Michael Des Barres is fine as her father, Greg Vaughan is acceptable boyfriend material and Susan Tyrrell is very entertaining as the housekeeper who smells a rat before anyone else.

Fun, occasionally funny, sexy and twisted. And did I mention that Jaime Pressly was always worth watching?

7/10.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Poison-Ivy-1-3-Region-NTSC/dp/B000HT38EO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1327861325&sr=8-1