A Haunting In Venice (2023)

Another Poirot film starring, and directed by, Kenneth Branagh, this one based on a novel actually named "Hallowe'en Party", A Haunting In Venice feels a bit different from the previous two instalments in this particular continuity for the detective. It's a moody and atmospheric piece. It also feels disappointingly light on actual Poirot moments though, our hero generally feeling sidelined in favour of the camerawork and building spookiness.

Despite trying to enjoy his retirement, Hercule Poirot has his peace interrupted by a mystery writer friend, Ariadne Oliver (Tina Fey), who hopes he can expose a medium, Joyce Reynolds (Michelle Yeoh), as a fraud. She will be putting on a performance at the home of Rowena Drake (Kelly Reilly), a retured opera singer grieving the loss of her daughter, Alicia. Others who will be in attendance are Dr. Leslie Ferrier (Jamie Dornan) and Maxime Gérard (Kyle Allen), the former fiancé of Alicia.

On the one hand, it's commendable to have a Poirot film that feels a step removed from the other recent Poirot films. Branagh, working once again with writer Michael Green, seems intent on showing us that every Poirot tale can both follow a formula and also provide some nice variety, but he seems to struggle with the commitment required for the many scenes that don't focus on the main character.

It should also be said that the cast feels disappointingly lacking in comparison to the previous two features. Fey is a delight, as is Yeoh (the latter sorely underused), but Reilly isn't able to have any fun in her role, Allen is similarly stuck in a solemn mood for the duration, and Dornan is about as bland as he usually is (sorry, he may be a lovely guy, but he rarely works for me onscreen). Riccardo Scamarcio is an enjoyable presence playing Poirot's bodyguard, but you don't get much from the likes of Ali Khan, Emma Laird, Camille Cottin, and the young Jude Hill (playing the son of Dornan's character).

Everything feels as lush and gorgeous, albeit in a very different way, but there's certainly no doubt that the budget is lower than it was for the previous Poirot feature. We don't get to stray too far from the one main location, the cast is undeniably lacking some major star power (aside from the luminous Fey and Yeoh), and it just can't stop feeling, superficially, like an inferior adventure. The spooky fun helps a lot though, and allowed me to put this on a par with its predecessors, despite the shortcomings elsewhere.

Other plus points are the fact that it clocks in at 103 minutes, although it feels a bit longer than that, and a wonderful score from Hildur Guðnadóttir that I recommend, even if you ultimately choose not to watch the film.

Nothing great, nor truly memorable, but enjoyable enough while it's on, which can be said of every one of the Branagh Poirot movies to date. At least the man is consistent when it comes to his attempts to serve up tales of the famous Belgian detective. 

6/10

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Netflix: Robin Hood (2018)

AKA Robin Begins. This is an attempt to make the character of Robin Hood cool and modern and sexy. If that appeals to you then you should find enough to enjoy here. If you would much prefer your Robin Hood to be more like either Errol Flynn or the fox from the Disney animated version of the tale then I would suggest you move along.

Taron Egerton is our Robin here, accompanied back from his time at war by "John" (Jamie Foxx). Upon his return to England, Robin finds that his beloved Marian (Eve Hewson) has started another relationship with Will (Jamie Dornan), believing that Robin died overseas. He also finds the people being forced into poverty by the dastardly Sheriff of Nottingham (Ben Mendelsohn). Thus begins a campaign that turns into "rob from the rich to give to the poor". Robin makes many enemies, but he also maintains a few valuable allies, including Friar Tuck (Tim Minchin).

Although director Otto Bathurst has no other theatrically-released features to his credit, there's nothing here that shows him unsuited to this kind of thing. Whatever criticisms you might have about this film, and there are many things to be critical of, it at least makes decent use of a good cast to stop it from being anywhere near the actual nadir of blockbuster entertainment. The same can be said of writers Ben Chandler and David James Kelly. They may not be as sharp or clever as they think, but they're far from the worst offenders when it comes to the plotting and dialogue (although I could have really done without the narration basically telling us "you think you know the story of Robin Hood, but here's the REAL story as you've never seen it before").

There are a few decent action set-pieces, enough to make the 116-minute runtime feel just right, but your opinion of this may very well depend on how you feel about Robin Hood being given the bombastic style usually used with more modern action heroes. I'm still not sure if that in itself is a bad idea or if I was irritated by the times that overused the same tricks and effects.

Egerton is a good choice for the lead, having shown us before how well he can do the charming rogue figure. He's a great fit, and always believable, even as the stunts become wilder and more dangerous. Foxx is a fantastic partner for him, and seems equally capable in the inventive action beats. Hewson is an appropriately lovely Marian, Mendelsohn is an appropriately nasty Sheriff of Nottingham, and they complete a central quartet good enough to make up for the lethargic Dornan and a sorely mis-cast Minchin.

Arguably too old-fashioned in content for younger viewers and too modern and flashy for older viewers, I'm not surprised that this didn't set the box office alight when it was released. I wouldn't have minded if it did better though. I may not rush to rewatch it, and I'm not sure who in my friend circle I would recommend it to, but I'd prefer to watch a sequel to this than watch yet another Sony superhero movie.

6/10

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Netflix And Chill: Heart Of Stone (2023)

I am often accused of being too kind in my movie ratings and reviews, and that is absolutely fine with me. I go into EVERY movie with optimism, and I always remember that the final result in front of my eyes is the result of people working together to get a clear vision onscreen. Sometimes it is only a handful of people, sweating and struggling to pool resources, and sometimes it's a huge number of people who can get their hands on whatever they need for their glossy blockbuster. Heart Of Stone falls into the latter camp, and it's one of those films that allows me to be unkind. Because it is, undoubtedly, one of the most soulless and unexciting pieces of garbage that I've seen in a long time. 

Gal Gadot stars as Rachel Stone, a woman working as part of a MI6 team. She's a technician, supposed to be able to stay safe and observant while others do the action stuff, but they don't realise that Stone is actually working for a global peacekeeping agency known as The Charter. The Charter has the advantage of being able to feed agents information from a powerful AI device they call The Heart (see? see where the title comes from?), a super-computer that can hack into any digital device and offer fluctuating predictions on the potential success of every possibility for a field agent on a mission. Someone wants to get to The Heart though, and that could allow them to become a very powerful super-villain. There's treachery, changes of alliance, and horribly inept set-pieces all thrown together on the way to a finale that feels as smug as it does predictable.

It has become all too easy lately for people to dismiss a film by saying "it feels as if it was written by A.I.", but that certainly feels like it was a factor here. A Netflix film, and we know that they often design their movies around certain patterns and factor they have seen in their viewing data, the humans actually responsible for this screenplay are Greg Rucka and Allison Schroeder. While I wasn't surprised to see that Rucka was used to the Netflix style, having also had a hand in The Old Guard (a film I have yet to muster the enthusiasm to watch), I was very surprised to see Schroeder attached to this, considering her work in recent years on both Hidden Figures and Christopher Robin, as well as being an extra helping hand on the screenplay for Frozen 2. It's equally surprising to see Tom Harper sitting in the director's chair for this. I can only imagine that he either wanted a different kind of challenge, wanted a big payday, or both, considering his past couple of movies were the very different, and apparently much better, The Aeronauts and Wild Rose. What isn't surprising is that neither the writers nor director put any kind of personal stamp on this. Heart Of Stone is a star vehicle. It just doesn't have a good enough star in the lead role.

I like Gal Gadot. I do. She's pretty great in the role of Wonder Woman, even if the films are very often not the best vehicles for the character, and I have enjoyed her in most of her other movie roles. Superhero movies aside though, she's never really been given a lead role, and Heart Of Stone clearly shows why this is the case. She doesn't shine as she should, unable to give the role the mix of humour and charisma needed. It doesn't help that she's surrounded by a cast of equally dull performers, whether that's caused by their own acting or the script is something I'm still debating internally. Jamie Dornan and Alia Bhatt are the wost offenders, but even someone as good as Sophie Okonedo seems to be delivering her lines as if she'd rather be doing anything else instead. Both Jing Kusi and Paul Ready are a bit more enjoyable, and I was most disappointed when their limited screentime came to an end. The other cast member worth mentioning is Matthias Schwieghöfer, who proves himself a highlight once again, having won people over with his turn in Army Of The Dead, leading to his lead role in the spin-off, Army Of Thieves. He works well in his role here, despite having to deliver exposition while portraying "intel guy monitoring and moving around computer data depicted as an augmented reality display surrounding him".

There was one action set-piece I quite enjoyed here, a chase involving cars, bikes, and a chunky van, but I even watched that while wondering whether or not I preferred a similar sequence in the recent action comedy Murder Mystery 2. As for the rest of the film, it moves from one bit of over-edited greenscreen nonsense to the next, keeping you stuck alongside a lead character you don't care about as things wind towards a tiresome conclusion that lets the film end EXACTLY how you think it is going to end. This is the kind of hollow and artless work that ends up on Netflix because it isn't good enough to end up anywhere else. It certainly isn't good enough to end up on your viewing schedule. Treat yourself to something better. It won't be hard.

And, yes, I know many will still think my final rating here is too kind.

3/10

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Synchronic (2019)

I was going to start this review by mentioning the fact that Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead (once again both sharing directing duties on a script from Benson) have shown less and less interest over the years in the horror genre. That's not true. They never really set their stall within the genre, and that's not a bad thing. Without being constrained by the expectations of the genre, Benson and Moorhead have managed to consistently entertain fans with intelligent movies that usually explore the concept of time (Resolution has moments showing how an addict fails to keep track of time, Spring has the idea of potential immortality, maybe, and The Endless has lots of time trickery in there). And they've done this while also not having to shy away from moments that show madness, monstrosity, or excessive bodily harm.

Synchronic, their latest movie, is both their most ambitious, and yet also their most simplistic, work to date. It seems to benefit from a decent step up in terms of budget, it has room for some great set-pieces as it develops the plot naturally in a way that draws you all the way in with ease, and it's another one of their films with a very strong heartbeat at the centre of it all.

Plot-wise, Anthony Mackie and Jamie Dornan are two paramedics who are seeing all kinds of new and mind-boggling traumas on their rounds. It all seems to be linked with a drug named Synchronic. Synchronic seems to take people slightly out of time. And if you're a younger user then you could end up disappearing completely. This ends up happening to a fairly important character, which leads to Mackie figuring out exactly what Synchronic does, and how he can make use of it to rescue the missing party.

Starting off with a number of impressive individual moments, the opening act of Synchronic may put some off slightly if you don't have faith in Benson and Moorhead to start drawing the strings together and providing something that will entertain while it remains thought-provoking. Although they like to set up a lot of questions, a lot of points for viewers to ponder, Benson and Moorhead rarely leave you without the main answers. Sure, you have a lot of things that may remain slightly puzzling as you play catch up and continue to ingest everything else being fed to you, but none of their movies are impenetrable or deliberately obfuscating for viewers who pay attention.

They give themselves bonus points here with the central casting. Dornan and Mackie work really well together, and I mean REALLY well, and Mackie is at his absolute best in a middle section that shows him dealing with a lot of personal pain, exploring the world of Synchronic, and ultimately deciding on a course of action that he knows his friend won't necessarily understand, but also knows that he needs. Going through a full range of emotions, Mackie is the heart and soul of the film, and I hope his name draws his fans here to see how good he can be. Which isn't to detract from Dornan's work, giving a performance that is just as impressive without having the more memorable moments given to Mackie. Elsewhere, Katie Aselton does well in the role of Dornan's wife, and Ally Ioannides is very good as his 18-year-old moody daughter. You also get a small, but memorable, turn from the ever-dependable Bill Oberst Jr, in a role that I like to think of as a small call back to Resolution (there are also some red flowers/seeds mentioned in passing that I am taking as a deliberate reference, and if I am wrong on these points then I'll always be right to me).

Making excellent use of every tool at their disposal, Benson and Moorhead continue to push themselves, in terms of realising concepts and delivering more and more beautiful works of cinema. There are a number of shots here that are genuinely stunning, accompanied by a wonderful score by Jimmy LaValle. This is a film happy to take you through the highs and lows of, well, just what the universe around us has to offer. Time is a gift. It doesn't matter if it's linear, looped, squiggly, or available in different chunks. Every moment is a gift. And this film is another gift from two men who keep giving fans unexpected and wonderful entertainment every time they get their vision onscreen.

You'll kick yourself if you don't make some time for Synchronic.

8/10

Me and my new BFFs (L-R: Aaron Moorhead, me, Justin Benson) 

Mubi Monday: A Private War (2018)

I am going to start this review with a slight, unexpected, spoiler. So don't read ahead if you want to go into the film knowing absolutely nothing about it. There's a scene towards the end of this movie, a look at the incredible journalism of the late Marie Colvin, in which the real Marie Colvin talks about her life. It's a testament to the performance from Rosamund Pike, who has the lead role here, that I thought it was still her voice, as opposed to that of the woman she had just spent almost two hours portraying. And I think that one moment underlines just how good her performance is.

Pike plays Colvin with no polished edges, no vanity. She is a tough, determined, woman who will often go further, and therefore get more, than many other journalists who take their chances out in the battlefields. But it takes a toll, and that's quite obvious from the earliest scenes. Not only physically, Colvin lost an eye while reporting on one conflict, but also emotionally. Her boss (Tom Hollander) isn't ever really sure how she manages to do what she does, but he knows that she needs to do it, both for herself and for those around the world who will be unable to deny the truth once it is shown to them.

It's no surprise to find that director Matthew Heineman has a background in documentaries, particularly from the way he presents everything to viewers here while expecting them to be able to piece everything together as we move along with Colvin from one corpse-strewn environment to another (not often shown, but a couple of devastating images are more effective for being used sparingly). Working from a script by Arash Amel, that was based on an article by Marie Brenner, Heineman asks viewers to trust him, a trust rewarded by everyone involved in the way that it feels as if we are getting to really know, and appreciate, the amazingly strong woman at the centre of things.

I started with praise for Pike because, well, she deserves it. It's a performance so strong that I'm surprised it hasn't been talked up more. In fact, I'm surprised that the release wasn't planned to get Pike in the running for some awards (she was nominated for a couple). Hollander is good at portraying her boss, a man who knows he has a star worker but also knows that it's affecting her mental health. Jamie Dornan is excellent, playing a photographer with a military background who likes Colvin, admires her, and tries to save her from her own worst journalistic instincts. Greg Wise ands Stanley Tucci do well with their limited screen time, and Nikki Amuka-Bird has at least one great moment as the one person who comes closest to calling Colvin out for the habits that she develops away from her workday, to cope with the images that haunt her.

A celebration of a life without pretending there weren't any major flaws, A Private War is a timely look at the risks some people take to get the truth out there to a much wider audience. It's also, of course, a worthy introduction to Colvin. Much like the documentaries he has helmed in the past, Heineman does justice to the central subject while also making you keen to do some more research once the film is over.

8/10

You can read about Colvin in this here book.
Americans can already buy the movie here.

Beyond The Rave (2008)

Remember when Hammer tried to take Dracula and place him into modern times? They tried their best, bless them, but the end results were poor, and seem much more dated today than any of their movies set in a yesteryear full of quaint villages, bustling taverns and aristocrats lording over local commoners. I mention those movies because this movie, from the reborn Hammer, suffers from, essentially, the same fate.

It's a vampire film, with the vampires all setting up a big rave to catch all of their victims. Among the potential victims are Ed (Jamie Dornan), a young man about to head off for active service in Iraq the next day, and his girlfriend, Jen (Nora-Jane Noone). There are also some hard gangster types (led by movie bruiser Tamer Hassan) about to get way out of their depth.

Originally released as a series of webisodes, Beyond The Rave never shakes off the feeling that it's a number of scenes stitched together with very little thought given to the overall storyline. The fact that the movie still contains the episode numbering, appearing every few minutes, doesn't help, but there's also a real lack of logic throughout, a few characters who appear and disappear at random, and a third act that's very hard to care about, thanks to the mix of derivative moments and sheer stupidity.

The acting isn't that great, although anyone expecting Tamer Hassan to do anything other than act tough and spit out expletives really shouldn't be looking in this direction anyway, but it's far from the worst aspect. Dornan and Noone make for decent leads, Matthew Forrest is likable enough as Necro, their friend, and Sebastian Knapp is stuck portraying his vampire character in the bored, moping style. Sadie Frost has a cameo, but makes a great impression with her memorable scene, Steve Sweeney is okay as one of the other hard men tagging along with Hassan, and the rest of the cast simply pop in and out of the screen without making much of an impression.

Viewers will be unsurprised to find out that director Matthias Hoene followed this up with (the much more enjoyable) Cockneys Vs. Zombies. Thankfully, with that movie he had a much better script. Writers Jon Wright and Tom Grass really drop the ball here, apparently just content to rip off the opening sequence of Blade and fill out the rest of the movie with random moments that obviously seemed a good idea while they were struggling to stretch their weak material to feature length. Prime example, an old vampire who spends his time getting stoned and talking to ravers who bump into him in the woods could end up interesting or laughable, but instead just ends up being another diversion. If his character had a decent resolution then I must have blinked and missed it. As far as I'm aware, he just disappeared after his two main scenes.

There are some decent tunes in the soundtrack, some sexy female vamps, a few decent bits of gore, and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . well, actually, that's about it. It's not quite among the very worst vampire movies out there, because there are a lot of cheap vampire movies that are SO bad, but it's not really worth your time either.

4/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Beyond-Rave-DVD-Jamie-Dornan/dp/B003OUV1K6/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1393891671&sr=1-1&keywords=beyond+the+rave