Charlie's Angels (2019)

I watched Charlie's Angels some time ago, when it was first released in cinemas. And I kept delaying my attempts to review the film. I knew that I'd enjoyed it more than I expected to, but I also struggled to write down my problems with it. So I waited, and waited. And waited. I waited so long that I ended up having to rewatch the film recently. I'm glad that is the way things worked out, because it turns out that most of my problems with this take on the classic trio of kick-ass young women aren't enough to stop me from recommending this, especially to the target viewers demographic.

Naomi Scott plays Elena Houghlin, a young woman who has created a device that could potentially replace the need for any major wiring and national grid. It can supply electrical power to a whole building, at the very least. Unfortunately, it can also misfire, killing anyone nearby with the human equivalent of an EMP. But people still want the device to be sold, which puts Elena in danger, and that is how she ends up under the protection of Charlie's Angels, mainly Sabina Wilson (Kristen Stewart), Jane Kano (Ella Balinska), and one of the main Bosleys (Elizabeth Banks). They all know what has to be done, but it soon starts to seem as if someone on the side of the baddies is getting some inside information.

As well as giving herself a major supporting role, Banks also wrote (Evan Spiliotopoulos and David Auburn get a story credit) and directed this incarnation of Charlie's Angels. That means that she got all the blame when it didn't perform as expected. Although I know not everyone will enjoy this as much as I did, I think it's a shame that people decided not to give it their time, and I think it mainly stems from the fact that a) people still don't really want to see Kristen Stewart in movies, and b) the recent movie versions of the Angels doesn't seem that long ago. Hey, that doesn't matter for Superman, or Batman, or Spider-man, I know, I know. I hear you. I just think it worked against this film more.

Speaking of Kristen Stewart, let's keep . . . speaking of Kristen Stewart. She's great fun in this, showing a decent flair for the mix of physicality and comedy given to her character. I was laughing aloud during the first main sequence, which has Stewart yelling out "you swiped right, I'm your girlfriend now" before headbutting a villain, and I was often smiling, at the very least, whenever she was onscreen, either being slightly behind everyone else as plans unfolded or acting dumb to put people off guard. The other leads work just as well in their roles. Scott is the newcomer, the one who can be shown everything along with the viewers, learning all about how the agency works, and how far-reaching they can be. Balinska is impressively fierce, and her working relationship with Stewart improves every time she sees her colleague get results, or at least try her hardest in her attempts. Banks is a good Bosley, Djimon Hounsou is another good Bosley, although hid role is a much smaller one, and Patrick Stewart is his usual wonderful self as a Bosley shown just at his time of retiring from the agency. Sam Claflin is the kind of businessman you know will want everything to go his way without him having to get his hands dirty, and Jonathan Tucker is excellent as the kind of tough "employee' always willing to get his hands dirty. There are also a number of familiar faces in smaller roles, and a selection of nice cameos (mostly throughout the end credits, which are at least worth sitting through once).

Banks has nothing to be ashamed of here. The film isn't perfect, mainly because it leans so hard into the idea of the Angels network being available everywhere, when needed most, but it's absolutely ideal for those who want to see an action thriller, with some comedy sprinkled throughout, that showcases young women who can take on their enemies with a mix of brains and fighting prowess. The action sequences are the best choreographed ones yet, for this particular brand, and things move breezily from one set-piece to the next, en route to an energetic ending that keeps the stakes high.

If you don't like the idea of another Charlie's Angels movie then I am not going to try to convince you that you should give this your time. You may still end up hating it, could think my rating and review too kind, and just be annoyed at me once you've given it your time. I will just say that it's better than the general consensus would have you think. And you MIGHT, just might, end up having as much fun watching it as I did.

7/10

You can buy the movie here.
Americans can buy it here.

The Kid Who Would Be King (2019)

Writer-director Joe Cornish has, with his two features, gone out of his way to provide entertainment that touches on some great genre history while also staying very much its own thing. Indeed, comparing his movies to others can end up doing them a disservice, and give people preconceptions that I am sure he would prefer you not to have. That's how it was with Attack The Block, and that is how it now is with The Kid Who Would Be King.

It's all about a young boy named Alex (Louis Ashbourne Serkis) who ends up pulling a sword out of a stone. That sword is obviously Excalibur, making Alex the leader that is needed to stop our world being taken over by forces of darkness (led by Morgana, played by Rebecca Ferguson). Alex needs to convince others of his leadership suitability. He has one very loyal friend (Bedders, played by Dean Chaumoo), and there's a strange new boy at school who is actually Merlin (Angus Imrie), but the three of them aren't enough to defeat the approaching baddies.

First off, I think it is very important to emphasise what this movie isn't. It's not a hilarious comedy (although it IS funny). And it's not aimed at older viewers. That doesn't mean that older viewers cannot be entertained by it, as I was. It just means that the best audience for this would be kids aged, at a guess, between 8 and 13, when they can still enjoy the fantastical elements, perhaps even believing in some of the onscreen magic, yet also appreciate the dramatic strands that serve a number of life lessons for the main characters to learn and grow from.

Now let's pin down what the movie IS. What Joe Cornish has delivered here is a movie not unlike the live-action Disney movies from the '70s and '80s. It's a more polished, and slightly less childish, effort than most of those adventures, but it's absolutely branching off from that particular cinematic family tree.

The script and direction from Cornish keeps everything in line with his ultimate aim, this is a film with the kids front and centre for about 85% of the runtime. They are the ones who know about the impending danger, they are the ones who hope to stop it. This is not a place for adults, and the rules of the battles allow for them to be handily "set aside" during the major set-pieces.

Serkis is excellent as young Alex, a boy who seizes the reworked mythology in a way that shows him hoping it will provide an answer to one major question in his life (connected to his father). Chaumoo is equally good as Bedders, and Imrie adds a vital energy and humour whenever he appears onscreen (the older version of his character is portrayed by a relative newcomer named Patrick Stewart, who also seems quite good at this acting lark). Tom Taylor and Rhianna Doris play characters who are initially antagonistic towards our hero, and they do decent work. Their journey may not ring as true as the journeys of the other characters, this is where the script slips up slightly, but Taylor and Doris do all that is asked of them. Last, but by no means least, you have two very different women making an impression in very different ways. Ferguson is an impressively determined and menacing villain, and Denise Gough is the concerned mother of Alex, doing her best to support her son while also trying to stop him from being consumed by what she thinks is a fantasy story that he has taken far too much to heart.

As long as you know what Cornish is aiming for, this has everything you could want from a piece of family entertainment. It updates a classic tale without attempting to include all of the latest trends and pop culture references, and that makes it feel both old-fashioned, in a pleasing way, and also quite refreshing. Cornish is two for two now, and I am very much looking forward to whatever he gives us next.

7/10

You can buy the movie here.
Americans can buy it here.

The Emoji Movie (2017)

I expected the worst from The Emoji Movie, and I am sure I wasn't alone. It's an animated film about emojis. Nobody was expecting a masterpiece, even most of the kids who would still go along to see it for easy entertainment. So you can imagine my surprise when I found that it wasn't actually THAT bad. Not that it's anything great, especially when compared to the many other animated ovies we have been spoiled with in recent years, but it's not bad enough for me to fill this review with numerous Patrick Stewarts (who voices a poop emoji - oh dear, Sir Patrick, oh dear, oh dear).

The plot focuses on a "meh" emoji named Gene (T. J. Miller), living with all of the other emojis inside a mobile phone. Gene struggles to maintain the one expression that is supposed to serve him throughout every day of his life. And this causes him to stress out when it comes time for his first day as a working emoji, setting in motion a chain of events that sees Gene go on the run with a Hi-5 emoji (James Corden) to find someone who can help fix the situation before either Gene is deleted or the whole phone is wiped.

Let's be honest here, the biggest problem that The Emoji Movie has is the central concept. It feels quite obviously cynical and like one big dollop of product placement (are emojis commodities? I guess they can be). But we should be used to that by now. We've had five live-action Transformers movies, we've had two G.I. Joe films, and I believe it's well-known that Joel Schumacher was shown a number of new toys that had to feature in Batman & Robin a couple of decades ago. Some movies are great art, some are great fun, quite a few try to entertain us while selling us stuff (be it cool products or the search for a daydream we keep seeing realised up there on the big screen), and some are just complete poop emojis.

I am sure that many people will disagree with me, but The Emoji Movie manages to avoid being a complete pile of poop thanks to a lot of fun visual gags and the nice way the world inside the mobile phone is visualised. Yes, my eyes rolled when I saw some of the other apps (some being more obvious in their prominent placement than others) but the journey taken by Gene, Hi-5, and Jailbreak (Anna Faris, voicing a character who offers to help them reach an app that may fix everything) is worked out well enough, with decent fun to be had in every main section.

Director Tony Leondis, who also co-wrote the screenplay with Eric Siegel and Mike White (John Hoffman also contributing some material), does a decent job, because enough thought was given to the world and the best use of all the characters. A lot of the gags are obvious, but that doesn't mean they aren't fun.

Vocally, Miller is a good fit for the lead, Corden is at his usual level of annoying overexuberance, Faris is solid, and there are great turns from Maya Rudolph, Jennifer Coolidge, and the superb Steven Wright (if ever there was a voice created for a Meh emoji then his is it).

Kids should enjoy it - the story is simple, the visuals are bright, and the characters are nice enough - and adults should find it relatively painless, but I suppose it's best to sum it up by saying that, well, it's not a very good film compared to so many other films . . . but it's also not a film worthy of numerous poop emojis.

5/10

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Emoji-Movie-Blu-ray-Region-Free/dp/B074F2X559/ref=tmm_blu_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Dead By Dawn 2016: Green Room (2015)

AKA that film that features Patrick Stewart as the leader of a bunch of neo-Nazis. AKA "Do you feel lucky, punk?"

Written and directed by Jeremy Saulnier, who previously gave us the excellent Blue Ruin (and before that gave us Murder Party - which I have yet to watch), Green Room could accurately be described as a snarling beast of a film. It feels raw and visceral throughout, and not just because the main protagonists are members of a punk rock band who prefer their vocals to be primal and full of anger.

The band is made up of Alia Shawkat, Anton Yelchin, Joe Cole, and Callum Turner. They're not having a very good time, having to siphon petrol to keep their van on the road and being interviewed by someone who no longer has a show on air . . . . . . . . and can't get them the decent gig that they thought they were travelling to. To make amends, they are offered a gig elsewhere. It's the middle of nowhere. Most of the audience seem to be of a certain political leaning, to put it nicely, but the band figure that they can insult them, play a few songs, and make out with a few hundred dollars for their troubles. Which isn't bad at all. And then someone pops into a room backstage and witnesses some people around a fresh corpse. Which is when things start to go from bad to worse to the stuff of nightmares.

Green Room is a lean, nasty, grimy thriller that feels very much like something from an earlier decade. Thankfully, it manages to feel that way without making too many obvious nods and winks to viewers. The most obvious jumping off point would be the classic Assault On Precinct 13, and one or two other John Carpenter movies, but these characters, and this level of violence and brutality, could have stepped out from any number of xploitation movies from the '70s and '80s.

But I don't want to spoil your expectations with hyperbole here. Don't go into the movie expecting a) wall to wall violence and b) nastiness unlike anything you've ever witnessed before. No. What Saulnier does so well is litter his movie with moments to make you wince and scenes that often take a left turn when you thought they were moving right (no pun intended).

All of the aforementioned cast members do a very good job, even when jumping around and trying to look like punk rockers, and Patrick Stewart certainly makes a great impression with his relatively limited amount of screentime, but there are also fantastic turns from Mark Webber and Macon Blair, to name but two of a handful of people I could have singled out. Imogen Poots is a bit out of place here, but I like her anyway and she's not exactly stinking up the entire film. She just doesn't really seem to fit into this world.

If you're hoping for another Blue Ruin then this isn't for you. But if you're hoping for a film that uses fight dogs, box cutters, guns, fire extinguishers, and plenty of fake blood then get to this as soon as possible. Personally, I think this is the better film. But that just says a lot more about my mental state than the difference in quality between the two. 

9/10

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Sci-Fi September: Dune (1984)

I was taken to see Dune when it was first released in cinemas. I was about 8 or 9. My mother and her partner, I assume, thought that this was going to be the next Star Wars. I can't remember every minute of the experience, but I can sum it all up in one word. Boredom.

Revisiting it now, about 30 years later, I can sum it up in two words. Interesting failure. It's still boring in places, but the visual style does keep it worth at least one viewing and there's something enjoyable about watching something so gloriously messy.

I'd attempt to explain the dense plot if I thought I could. Let's face it, the film itself has an opening narration from a young Virginia Madsen that tries to explain a hell of a lot to viewers in the space of a few minutes so I don't think a few sentences here will do any better. Let me just say that the whole movie is a bit like Dallas in space, with a magical spice replacing oil, Kyle MacLachlan as a Bobby Ewing figure (albeit one with the potential to become much more powerful than anyone else around him), and Gordon Sumner (AKA Sting) appears in a metal codpiece at one point, just to haunt your nightmares for years.

I really couldn't begin to run through the entire cast of characters and their relationships to one another. This is one dense film. MacLachlan is the lead, he's the character you get to stick closest to throughout the entire movie. His parents, played by Jurgen Prochnow and Francesca Annis, also play a large part in the proceedings. And then there's a love interest in the shape of Sean Young. The main villain is a boil-covered, rancid Baron, played by Kenneth McMillan (it's worth checking around for other articles that make the case for Dune being one of the most homophobic movies of the decade, based on that character alone).

Adapting the mammoth novel by Frank Herbert would have been no easy task, but David Lynch seemed to think he was up to it. Sadly, he wasn't. He does much better in the role of director, mainly thanks to the impressive visuals of the movie that he allows to take centre stage, but that clunky screenplay is the wobbly foundation that sets this sci-fi house of cards tumbling.

The performances often don't help either, with MacLachlan just not impressive enough in the lead role. He's an actor with a very particular style, one that works in the right roles (Blue Velvet and Twin Peaks spring to mind) and really doesn't in the wrong ones, as we see here. Sting is another weak link, and the least said about Alicia Witt's turn the better, although I don't hold that against her (she was only 9, it was her first movie role, and Lynch seems to have helped in creating the performance he required). McMillan is a lot of fun as the repellent Baron, and there's fun to be had in the performances from great names such as Patrick Stewart, Jose Ferrer, Dean Stockwell, Max Von Sydow, Siân Phillips, and Everett McGill.

There's an enjoyable soundtrack from Toto, with a decent contribution from Brian Eno, some impressive creatures from the great Carlo Rambaldi, and a few darker sequences that hint at a very different approach to the material that Lynch may have been more comfortable with. None of these things, sadly, can make up for the many problems that drag the movie down.

But at least it inspired Fatboy Slim to sample the line: "walk without rhythm, and we won't attract the worm" - allowing me to end with THIS music video

5/10

http://www.amazon.com/Dune-Blu-ray-Kyle-MacLachlan/dp/B00371QQ0M/ref=sr_1_2?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1411739580&sr=1-2&keywords=dune

L.A. Story (1991)

The funny thing about L.A. Story is that I always quite liked it when I saw it back in the early '90s, but a lot of it was unfamiliar to me. Whether L.A.-centric or just soaked in the nuances of modern Americana, this comedy depicted an alien world. That's what it was always supposed to do. There are wonderful modern fairytale elements blended in there, but it's mainly a look at a strange culture/subculture/way of life. Funnily, and some might say depressingly, enough . . . . . . . . . . . . none of it seems so strange any more. None of it seems so absolutely American and/or Los Angelean. Hell, I now know more about the different flavours and types of coffees sold at Starbucks and Costa then I ever thought I would. I hate myself for that fact, but I usually hate myself while enjoying a medium caramel latte. To go.

Steve Martin plays Harris K. Telemacher, a resident of L.A. and a minor celebrity thanks to his whacky weather reports. He takes a lot of the stranger aspects of L.A. in his stride, but is also able to look around him and remember how bizarre his city is. The differences between his world and the world outwith L.A. are highlighted when he meets Sara McDowel (Victoria Tennant), an English newspaper reporter and also spends some time the the young and carefree SanDeE* (Sarah Jessica Parker).

Mick Jackson directs this sun-bathed slice of surreal-tinged comedy from a script written by Martin, and both men do their best by the material. The majority of the film is little more than observational comedy shoehorned into movie form, but it works brilliantly. The other main element, involving Martin receiving advice from a wise freeway sign, may be too ridiculous for some to enjoy but fair play to Martin for using it as something that turns the tone of the whole movie from one that could have been mean and sour to something playful and affectionate.

The cast is overflowing with great choices. While I've never been the biggest fan of Tennant, she's good enough in her role here. Martin is great, as always, and Sarah Jessica Parker gives a spirited and lovely performance. It's so good that I actually had to look back over that sentence after putting the words spirited and lovely so close to her name. Richard E. Grant is enjoyable enough, and Marilu Henner, Frances Fisher, Kevin Pollak and Susan Forristal all do well. Cameos from Patrick Stewart, Rick Moranis, Woody Harrelson and Chevy Chase also add to the fun.

L.A. Story allows people to laugh at L.A. and its many quirks, but it also makes an effort to remind viewers that magic CAN happen there. It might just be movie magic, but magic is magic.

8/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/L-A-Story-Blu-Ray-DVD-Combo/dp/B0082X0XF4/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1376570881&sr=8-2&keywords=l.a.+story