Witchcraft XI: Sisters In Blood (2000)

It's the turn of writer-director Ron Ford to have some fun with the Witchcraft series and, I may as well just say right now, seeing this has ensured that I won't ever seek out any of his other movies. That might seem a bit harsh (who has managed to helm one of these movies and then springboard to better things?) but there was, believe it or not, some potential here that is completely squandered.

There are three women (Lauren Ian Richards, Kathleen St. Lawrence, and Miranda Odell) who are working on their acting skills as they practice a bit of Shakespeare on stage. Their teacher (Don Donason) wants more from them. As they are portraying three witches, someone comes up with the bright idea of heading to the alleged site of three actual witches and reciting some spells to bring back their spirits. It's not long until we're treated to gratuitous sex scenes, even more overacting, the return of Will Spanner (played this time by James Servais), AND the return of detectives Garner and Lutz (still played, respectively, by Mikul Robins and Stephanie Beaton).

Someone could have taken the central idea here - women playing three witches getting themselves in trouble and targeted by the spirits of real witches - and made something moderately entertaining. Okay, there would have still been the glaring obviousness of the low budget and the various technical shortcomings, but it could have been something made with a spirited sense of fun. A little bit of wit goes a long way. Trust me, I would have lapped it up like a pool of clear water after days wandering through a desert.

But no!

Ford is instead content to go along with the template set by almost all of the other Witchcraft movies that came along before this one. Alright, there must have been a market for them, and maybe people were allowed to write and direct instalments as long as they worked within that established template, but I can't help resenting Ford for not even trying slightly to do a bit more with this story.

The cast all work at the level that those familiar with the series will expect. The three main women are identified by the following characteristics: Richards has reddish hair, St. Lawrence has blonde hair and is the one keen on the spellcasting idea, and Odell has blonde hair and seems the most reluctant to play around with the spirits of the dead. Servais is bland, his Wendy Blair (as his girlfriend) is also bland, Donason is more restrained than he should be, in my opinion, and Robins and Beaton at least get to spark off one another, even if they're stuck with a very weak script.

I'm beyond even trying to highlight minor positives at this point in my journey through the series. Anyone interested in the movies will check them out. Anyone as silly as me will not be dissuaded. Everyone else would do well to just avoid the lot of them.

2/10

Far too much money in your bank account? Then pick up this DVD.

Witchcraft X: Mistress Of The Craft (1998)

It's odd when you watch a film and think you recognise someone but can't remember exactly where you last saw them. And it's even odder when you realise that you haven't seen that person in any other films. It turns out that you've been friends online with them for many years. That is what happened while I was watching Witchcraft X: Mistress Of The Craft.

And that is the most interesting aspect of the movie, and also of this review. Fortunately, I don't think the person will bother reading this review but I hope they will shrug and forgive me if they do. I'm not going to single them out for criticism but I really can't think of anything here to focus on as a positive.

I really don't even want to bother explaining the horrible, laughable, slight, plot. Let me just say that it involves a lot of bad acting, people approaching others while baring plastic fangs in their mouths, random sexy times, and more bad acting.

I guess this would be classed as an erotic horror, like most of the other Witchcraft movies. Which makes it strange that I have been more aroused by leaflets posted through my door that advertise current deals at my nearest DIY store. And as for the horror side of things? Well, you get more atmosphere and chills from watching and rewatching the video to Everybody (Backstreet's Back).

Written and directed by Elisar Cabrera, I can only assume that the action was moved to the UK this time around to save money on what was already a cheap film series. Cabrera isn't even savvy enough to go out and get some easy filler shots of London, and the same can be said about the use of the bigger names in the cast.

Casual viewers won't recognise anyone in this movie but horror fans will be pleased to see Eileen Daly and Emily Booth credited. There are also roles for Wendy Cooper, Stephanie Beaton, and Lynn Michelle. Nobody is picked for award-winning skills, but at least the females can prove pleasingly attractive while the male side of the cast doesn't seem as intent on providing an equal amount of eye candy for viewers wanting some hunks.

It's interesting to continue working my way through this series, to think that I have seen the worst it can offer and then be shown that I was absolutely wrong. I would really love to figure out who used to eagerly await these titles being released, what they enjoyed most about them, and whether or not they still view them with any affection. Until that happens I will continue to be bored, annoyed, and occasionally mildly amused while I work my way through the rest of these films.

1/10

Would you like to spend far too much money on this film? Here you go. But you would be better checking out the film on Amazon Prime and just using that link to order other, better, movies.