Shudder Saturday: Dark Angel: The Ascent (1994)

Whether due to circumstances or my own mindset, I have lately been in the mood for the kind of entertainment that would have clogged up the cheaper rental sections of your local video store decades ago. Dark Angel: The Ascent may have a title that makes you think it is a sequel or a TV spin-off, but it actually appears to be neither of those things. It’s just a supernatural adventure with some romance mixed in, and does enough to entertain those who don’t mind their silly entertainment struggling to rise above some very low production values.

Angela Featherstone plays Veronica, a young demoness who wants nothing more than to mingle with us humans. She is the dark angel of the title, and coming here to our Earthly plane is the ascent. When here, Veronica meets Dr. Max Bariss (Daniel Markel). The two start to form an immediate connection, but things may be complicated by Veronica dealing out some deadly justice to wrong-doers as she spots the bad souls destined to head to the lower realms. There’s also a corrupt and nasty mayor (Milton James) to be dealt with.

Written by Matthew Bright, who would go on to much more interesting fare when writing and directing his own features, this is slight and silly stuff, but does enough to keep people watching until the very end. I am not sure who exactly it’s aimed at (the occasional bits of bloodshed are quite tame, the romance feels ill-fitting), but it gains goodwill by constantly trying to do the best it can with fairly limited resources. Director Linda Hassani doesn’t have a huge filmography. She does well here though, presenting the main character in all her glory without relying on the usual/expected gratuitous nudity and innocence normally seen in such tales of female spirits who are newcomers to our world.

Featherstone is fine in the lead role. I have apparently seen her in some other movies, even if I cannot remember her in them, and she seems to be having fun here. Markel is far less interesting, which doesn’t really matter when he is basking in the glow of Featherstone’s presence. James is enjoyable enough in his few scenes, although his character should have been more of a giant spider looming over the web of crime and debauchery, and the rest of the cast is stuffed with cops, villains, and victims all fairly indistinguishable from one another. The only others who stand out are Nicholas Worth and Charlotte Stewart, playing parents with two very different approaches to the curiosity and strange morality of their demoness daughter.

I expected to watch this and then struggle to remember it as soon as the end credits rolled. Surprisingly, I had such a good time with it that I started to wish it had started a franchise I could start wading through. And yet, slightly paradoxically, I also appreciate it more for the fact that it’s a “one and done”, which is a real rarity from Full Moon Entertainment, the production studios overseen by Charles Band.

6/10

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Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)

Ghostbusters is forty years old now. Forty years old. It is, in my view, an enduring classic, and one of my favourite blockbuster comedies. And yet . . . the fact that it IS now forty years old makes it all the stranger to see how much of it is repeated and/or repurposed in this latest release, officially the fifth movie in a franchise that has maintained a presence in our pop culture thanks to the various movies, videogames, toys, cartoons, etc.

FIRE STATION!

There is probably a right way and a wrong way to write a proper review of Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire, but I hope doing things in the wrong way will highlight how the film itself was so mishandled.

SLIMER!

Some time has passed since the events of the last movie. Our main characters (played by Finn Wolfhard, Mckenna Grace, Paul Rudd, and Carrie Coon) are now based in New York, much to the chagrin of the current mayor (played by William Atherton, reprising the character of Walter Peck, of course). But the containment system is perilously close to being overloaded, a big new threat is looming, and the character played by Grace ends up spending a lot of her time with a friendly ghost (Melody, played by Emily Alyn Lind).

LIBRARY GHOST!

Co-written once again by Gil Kenan and Jason Reitman, with the former also being allowed to direct this time around, it’s easy to see why certain choices were made here, and just as easy to see how this film could have been greatly improved. It’s too busy creating moments that will remind you of the first movie that it forgets to make good use of most of the main characters, and the decent finale is a case of too little too late when viewers have slogged through the mess preceding it.

DAN AYKROYD!

There’s some good stuff here, much better than the return of a familiar villain we got in the last movie. The opening sequence is great, everything looks set to be spectacular and thrilling, and then it is all largely abandoned in favour of callbacks and cameos, which is all the more frustrating when you get a treat like the new character, Lars, played by James Acaster with a hairstyle not entirely dissimilar to the one sported by Egon Spengler in The Real Ghostbusters. I also have to say that Lind is fantastic as the forlorn and regret-filled Melody.

STAY-PUFT MARSHMALLOW MAN!

It is hard to give my opinion on a cast who are so often wasted in their roles. Grace remains a very watchable talent, but her sub-plot here ensures that her character is unwisely kept moody and lonely until the third act. Acaster is a fantastic addition, it’s nice to see some more of Ernie Hudson, Patton Oswalt comes along to be Mr. Exposition, and Kumail Nanjiani isn’t given a chance to be as funny as we all know he can be. As for the other familiar faces, they are all pretty unnecessary.

BILL MURRAY!

This is a series that seems intent on restricting itself to tales that are now just frames to hang a load of nostalgia on. It’s not a good approach, and this review emulated the structure of the film. You have everything punctuated by a cameo that is supposed to bring some extra happiness to the viewers, but it doesn’t work when there is no other reason for those cameos to happen. It’s the equivalent of some SNL sketch being hate-crashed by a celebrity who just comments on their own celebrity and their bemusement at being on SNL. That could be amusing, but you would soon tire of it if it was every SNL sketch. And you will soon tire of it here.

BILL MURRAY AGAIN!

Each time I think this movie series cannot get any worse I end up being proven wrong. It has become a depressing cycle of ever-diminishing returns now, and I am always sucked in by the trailer and the optimistic idea that “maybe this time they will get it right”. This is the worst yet, and actually feels embarrassingly desperate at times.

I will still watch another one, but you may as well search for my spark of hope in the ecto-containment unit, because that is well and truly dead after watching this.

3/10

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Prime Time: Demon House (2018)

I used to love the TV show "Most Haunted". There was a time there when I was slightly addicted. I even watched one of their live events. And then one day I just stopped. There was only so much table-tipping I could stomach, only so much nonsense being spewed by Derek Acorah, and only so much padding around entirely explicable phenomena that were put forward as definite signs of the undead trying to make contact.

It turns out that Zak Bagans, who wrote, directed, and stars in this "documentary", is most famous for working on an American show that is the equivalent of "Most Haunted". I have never seen that show, "Ghost Adventures", but I now know that I definitely wouldn't ever want to watch it. Because Bagans is a mixture of all of the things that immediately start to irritate me. He has to make everything extra dramatic, and emphasises things about three times in a row to make sure you get how dramatic it really is. If any coincidence can be played up for spookiness then it is. And he wears sunglasses in doors. Yeah, not my type of guy at all. Will I also openly question the veracity of what he puts onscreen here, from the witness testimonies to his own encounters? Maybe, but I wouldn't put anything in stronger terms, mainly because Americans can be so damn litigous.

There is a plot here. Bagans ends up buying a house that was at the centre of the Ammons case, an alleged haunting that featured some very dark and disturbing events. The previous residents of the house are so scares that they generally won't even talk to Bagans, for fear of any insidious force reaching them again. So Bagans talks to everyone else he can get hold of, from police officers to a relative of the affected family, and a few more. They talk and he gets to repeat what they say, with added dramatic emphasis. And you get some weird things happening on camera, which you are free to view as real events or not.

The thing is, deep down, I no longer believe in the supernatural, ghosts or demons. I used to. And I still believe that we don't know how everything happens in the world around us, especially when it comes to our death (as we're all made up of energy), our memories, and our sensory perception being affected by both of those things. I also wouldn't stay in any allegedly haunted house for £10,000. I am just too much of a scaredy cat, and my imagination runs wild at the slightest little noise. So Demon House should have worked better for me than it did. I still expected to roll my eyes, but was looking forward to a few small chills and thrills throughout. I got none.

Most of that is the fault of Bagans, who seems so obviously desperate to put himself at the centre of a hot story that he will buy a notorious house, get people around him agitated by his methods, and then posit himself as the one person striving to be strong enough to face the dark forces swirling all around us. I hope I never see him in any feature again. And I'm amazed the house didn't growl "get out" at him, a la Amityville. I know I would have.

2/10

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Netflix And Chill: Extra Ordinary (2019)

Extra Ordinary is a supernatural comedy that benefits from that very lovely and low-key type of Irish humour that has worked so well in a variety of past gems. It's all about the characters and their fairly nonchalant way of dealing with a situation that keeps getting a bit crazier with every passing minute. A hit at many festivals, and I can see it playing well with a big audience, it sadly didn't quite work for me as well as it did for many others.

Maeve Higgins plays Rose Dooley, a driving instructor who also has a talent for communicating with the dead. This is why she ends up being contacted by Martin Martin (Barry Ward), a man who is being haunted by the spirit of his dead wife. Unbeknownst to Martin, his daughter (Sarah, played by Emma Coleman) may also need help, having been targeted by Christian Winter (Will Forte), a one-hit-wonder pop star who wants to make a deal with the devil to give his career a new lease of life.

Higgins is quite the star here, giving the kind of perfect comedic performance that will surely see her gaining some more roles in the near future (although some have been recognising her talent over the past few years already). She's the reason that this works as well as it does, and her scenes with Ward are all very good. But that makes it harder to understand how Forte doesn't quite work in his role. I've been a big fan of him for many years, the guy has great natural talent, but his turn here just doesn't work. It's somehow either too low-key or too weighed down by the expectations of the stereotype (the faded pop star longing for the return of his golden years). I'd go so far as saying that a number of his scenes see him outshone by his onscreen wife (played by Claudia O'Doherty).

Perhaps Higgins shines as the star because a) well . . . she's the star, and b) she was able to work more into the script, alongside Demian Fox. The main body of the script was co-written by the directors, Mike Ahern and Enda Loughman, so it's hard to consider who should get credit for the better moments, but Higgins has so many great little moments that it would seem obvious that she knows how to shape things slightly to play to her strengths.

As for the rest, it's all competently done. Ahern and Loughman show what needs to be shown, and make great use of their relatively small budget, whether they're showing ghosts onscreen, demons, or just another personality coming through a host body, complete with materialised cigarette. It's just that everything seems to sit in a strange middle area, being quite simple and yet having too many elements in the mix that get in the way of the comedy. You have a main character with a strange talent, and then she meets someone else with a different strange talent. You have a villain who could be an amusing and over the top character, but he ends up being quite banal and mediocre most of the time (which I know is done for comedic effect, it just doesn't feel as fun as it could be). And there's a backstory that plays into things, despite not needing as much time devoted to it as it gets.

I liked Extra Ordinary. I just didn't love it. It made me chuckle occasionally. It tried to be a bit different from many other comedies that have used the horror genre trappings over the past decade or so. And it's worth your time. I just think it may be one you enjoy more in the right company.

6/10

Shudder Saturday: Another Evil (2016)

Despite strong competition, Another Evil is one of the strangest, and least satisfying, films I have yet watched on Shudder. Written and directed by Carson Mell, his feature debut, this thing is such a mess that at times it's almost like watching a car crash in slow-motion. It gets worse and worse, you can't look away, but you just hope that it's all going to work out in the end. And then the end comes along.

Steve Zissis plays Dan, an average guy who finds that his house isn't very average. It has a supernatural presence inhabiting it, one that is now determined to make itself known. This eventually leads Dan to hire Os (Mark Proksch), a man who might just be able to clear the spirits and help him get his life back to normal. Or, as soon becomes clear, maybe not.

PART of my adverse reaction to Another Evil was my own fault. I thought I was going to be watching some crude, low-budget, horror comedy. I was prepared to overlook some rough edges if the material was clever or witty enough. But this isn't that kind of film. It is, instead, something much more similar to a film like Observe & Report, and people who know that before the movie starts might end up enjoying it a bit more. Might.

The problems start to become apparent quite early on. Mell doesn't nail down the tone, focusing on one aspect at a time when he should have found a way to mix everything together. There are intriguing elements here (the haunting, the mental health of Os and how it may or may not be linked to his skills, and how far people are willing to go along with someone they perceive as an expert/savior) but none of them are blended together into a wholly interesting movie, which this needed to be. The ambiguity that Mell thinks is a positive think ends up hurting the film, especially during the final scenes that prove to be completely unrewarding to patient viewers.

Zissis and Proksch are fine in their roles, with the former better served by the script that simply requires him to be a normal guy pushed into abnormal circumstances. There are other people onscreen, but this is mostly a two-hander between the male leads, and they do what is asked of them, which makes it inevitable that Proksch becomes more and more irritating as the movie plays out.

It's almost impossible for me to figure out who would actually appreciate this. It's not got enough atmosphere or scares for anyone looking for a horror movie. It's nowhere near funny enough for anyone wanting a comedy. And the psychological drama, the serious content at the heart of it all, isn't fully-formed, and what little is there is just drowned by the rest of the nonsense. This is a sad failure on almost every level, although it's made with a degree of competence that means I have to begrudgingly admit it is not amongst the worst films I have ever watched.

3/10

Americans who somehow like this movie can buy it here.

The Watcher In The Woods (1980)

Here we are, once again, with another film I had always been aware of, from a very young age, but somehow never got around to watching. This was, to me, that Disney horror movie, and I'm annoyed that it took me so long to see it.

David McCallum and Carroll Baker play Paul and Helen Curtis, parents to two girls named Jan (Lynn-Holly Johnson) and Ellie (Kyle Richards). This family all move into a new home, owned by Mrs Aylwood (Bette Davis), an elderly woman who lives just next door to the main residence. It just so happens that Mrs Aylwood approved the family as tenants because Jan reminded her of her own daughter, Karen (Katherine Levy), who disappeared many years ago. A number of mysterious events occur, convincing Jan that Karen is trying to communicate with them. But what is the message, and will anyone in the area appreciate the past being raked over?

Enjoyably atmospheric at times, and striking the right balance between spookiness and adventure, The Watcher In The Woods is sometimes a great mix. The tone is pitched nicely for family viewing, and some of the small scares are effective. Developed from the book by Florence Engel Randall, the script (initially by Brian Clemens, subsequently revised by Rosemary Ann Sisson and others) is good when it comes to the main premise and how events interconnect on the way to the third act. It's just a shame that everything else falters.

The brief runtime doesn't stop the film from feeling a bit dragged out, thanks to pacing issues that arise after the halfway point, the direction from John Hough (with reshoots from an uncredited Vincent McEveety) is a bit lifeless and feels like they were aiming for a TV movie feel rather than a theatrical release, and even the resolution ends up lacking the thrills it should have.

The acting covers a wide spectrum. Davis is wonderful in her role, playing Mrs Aylwood with the right mixture of concern and shadiness that arguably comes with pretty much any character she plays, and McCallum and Baker do well enough as the parents, kept to the background throughout much of the story. Other main adult actors onscreen (Richard Pasco, Ian Bannen, and Frances Cuka) do alright, as does young Benedict Taylor, but the female leads let the side down. Levy is okay most of the time, it's not so much her acting style as her being at the mercy of the script, but Johnson overacts in almost every scene. It's less noticable in the earlier scenes, but becomes more and more obvious as the plot unfolds, making it a cringeworthy experience almost every time she starts to shout and show any nervousness or tension.

Once again, I may have liked this more when it was originally released, when I was closer to the right age for it and less exposed to the multitude of movies I have subsequently experienced. As it is, it's okay. That's all. I think children will still find enough to enjoy, but you will need to let them check it out before they are bombarded with the typical array of CGI wizardry and inventiveness that inhabits most modern slices of entertainment aimed at younger viewers.

6/10

The film can be bought here.
Americans can buy it here.

Witchcraft X: Mistress Of The Craft (1998)

It's odd when you watch a film and think you recognise someone but can't remember exactly where you last saw them. And it's even odder when you realise that you haven't seen that person in any other films. It turns out that you've been friends online with them for many years. That is what happened while I was watching Witchcraft X: Mistress Of The Craft.

And that is the most interesting aspect of the movie, and also of this review. Fortunately, I don't think the person will bother reading this review but I hope they will shrug and forgive me if they do. I'm not going to single them out for criticism but I really can't think of anything here to focus on as a positive.

I really don't even want to bother explaining the horrible, laughable, slight, plot. Let me just say that it involves a lot of bad acting, people approaching others while baring plastic fangs in their mouths, random sexy times, and more bad acting.

I guess this would be classed as an erotic horror, like most of the other Witchcraft movies. Which makes it strange that I have been more aroused by leaflets posted through my door that advertise current deals at my nearest DIY store. And as for the horror side of things? Well, you get more atmosphere and chills from watching and rewatching the video to Everybody (Backstreet's Back).

Written and directed by Elisar Cabrera, I can only assume that the action was moved to the UK this time around to save money on what was already a cheap film series. Cabrera isn't even savvy enough to go out and get some easy filler shots of London, and the same can be said about the use of the bigger names in the cast.

Casual viewers won't recognise anyone in this movie but horror fans will be pleased to see Eileen Daly and Emily Booth credited. There are also roles for Wendy Cooper, Stephanie Beaton, and Lynn Michelle. Nobody is picked for award-winning skills, but at least the females can prove pleasingly attractive while the male side of the cast doesn't seem as intent on providing an equal amount of eye candy for viewers wanting some hunks.

It's interesting to continue working my way through this series, to think that I have seen the worst it can offer and then be shown that I was absolutely wrong. I would really love to figure out who used to eagerly await these titles being released, what they enjoyed most about them, and whether or not they still view them with any affection. Until that happens I will continue to be bored, annoyed, and occasionally mildly amused while I work my way through the rest of these films.

1/10

Would you like to spend far too much money on this film? Here you go. But you would be better checking out the film on Amazon Prime and just using that link to order other, better, movies.

Witchcraft IX: Bitter Flesh (1997)

There was a moment, a clear and shining moment, while I watched this film, the ninth in a series of films that should never have gone beyond five (to be generous), that led to my eyes glazing over and me having a vision. The film in front of me faded away, to be replaced by an image of me repeatedly banging my head against the coffee table in my living room. Except the coffee table didn't stay made out of hard wood, as it is in reality. No, it turned into a mass of squishy breast implants. And the harder I tried to knock myself into unconsciousness, the more I would just feel myself pushing into the implants. And then my sofa turned into a gum-popping bimbo, asking if I was okay and if  had found the right implants that I wanted her to wear yet.

I then came back to reality, rewound a few minutes of the film, and settled back in to endure the rest of Witchcraft IX: Bitter Flesh.

There are a few returning names this time around (director Michael Paul Girard and actor David Byrnes) and the plot, from a script written by Stephen Downing, is as dumb as you should expect by now. Will Spanner (Byrnes) is dead. He wanders around while coming to terms with this, sometimes seeing people have sex. One of those people having sex is a hooker named Sheila (Landon Hall). It turns out that Sheila can hear Will, which means that she ends up helping him in his quest to keep his good lady safe and deal with an evil enemy.

Here's the thing about Witchcraft IX: Bitter Flesh. It's actually quite amusing at times. Hall is a good sport when it comes to everything the role asks of her. She has to keep acting as if she can't see her main co-star, she is involved in one or two sex scenes, and she even acts differently at one point while being used as a vessel for a spirit. She's a highlight, and not just because I am easily distracted by nakedness. Although I suspect it is unintentional, the general premise of this film makes it slightly more fun than so many of its predecessors, and Hall helps to convey that fun.

So it's a shame, if not at all surprising, that the rest of the film is dire. The acting is terrible from almost everyone onscreen, there's a distinct lack of sexiness to any of the sex scenes (at least two of them are rapey, obviously or in sneakier ways, and one is a guy who just paid a hooker and decides to start his time with her in a lift), and it would appear that the film-makers were given a budget of approximately £100 with the condition that the financiers receive change. There are times when it feels more like a trailer for a film than an actual film itself, yet it still manages to be a slight improvement over so many of the previous entries. And I'll happily take a slight improvement over nothing.

I know that you're all laughing at me by now. I know it. Either you're laughing or it's the voices in my head again. It doesn't matter, I WILL see this series through to the end. Although I do hope that there IS an end to this series. To paraphrase someone much more talented than myself - "either this series will end or I will".

3/10

No main links. Go to Amazon.co.uk to buy stuff.
Or got to Amazon.com to buy stuff. Win win for me.

The films are so interchangeable that I can keep reusing this Charmed pic

Thelma (2017)

Having heard about Thelma for the past few months, I finally had the chance to see it recently, wary of the fact that so many people had given it some glowing praise, most often comparing it to a mix of Carrie and more straightforward films about teenagers transitioning into a more mature stage in their lives, exploring sexuality and figuring out how they want to be making their first impressions upon the world as full adults.

First of all, although I can see why the comparison has been made, Thelma has less in common with Carrie and more in common with the classic episode of The Twilight Zone called "It's A Good Life". You know the one. The boy who can make anything happen, leading to his parents and everyone else living in fear of him. It was also the segment directed by Joe Dante for the movie version.

Yes, Thelma feels more in line with that tale, not in the actual content but more to do with the feelings of the characters who live with the young woman at the centre of the story. And I guess I should summarise that story.

Elli Harboe is Thelma, a young woman who has lived quite a sheltered life. She is trying to acclimatise to student life while also figuring out the feelings she seems to be developing for another young woman (Anja, played by Kaya Wilkins). When things start to weigh too heavily on her mind, Thelma has seizures. She also inadvertently changes the location of various people around her, depending on who she is thinking of. And that's not good for the people who may find themselves, well, suddenly unable to be found by anyone else.

Written by Eskil Vogt and Joachim Trier, with the latter also directing, Thelma is a very deliberately paced film that slowly reveals some tense and horrifying moments through flashbacks that show how Thelma (played at a younger age by Grethe Eltervåg) has affected her parents (Henrik Rafaelsen and Ellen Dorrit Petersen), and why she is often treated the way she is. The style throughout is slightly removed and chilly, which suits both the way in which some view Thelma and also the way in which she seems to be observing a world around her that she suspects she may be able to completely change if she finds that's what she really wants.

The acting from all involved is excellent. Thelma (played by Harboe, or Eltervåg), is most often the focus, and both actresses play her with a wonderful mix of innocence and cool detachment, but Rafaelsen and Petersen also get to excel in scenes that show the burden they must carry throughout their lives. Wilkins does well in her role, making it easy for viewers to believe that Thelma would be drawn to the warmth and general loveliness of her character.

A rewarding viewing experience that shows general teen angst while also occasionally revealing the horrific repercussions of an unchecked supernatural power, Thelma is highly recommended for more patient fans of the horror genre, those who may enjoy something different from the norm without clamouring for a bodycount or bombastic set-pieces.

8/10

You can buy Thelma here.
Americans can watch it on Amazon here.

Witchcraft 7: Judgement Hour (1995)

I know what you're thinking. Why would I continue to subject myself to the awfulness of this series? And why would I force you all to read reviews of these films? Well, because I said I would see this through to the bitter end, and if I am going to suffer then you can all suffer too.

Will Spanner (this time played by David Byrnes) is once again helping the police to find an evil killer. The police are Garner (John Cragen) and Lutz (Alisa Christensen), the villains are Mr Hassa (Loren Schmalle) and his right hand men, Vontana (Jason Edwards) and Costanza (Eryk Sobesto). And there are lots of women onscreen to bare their breasts in almost every other scene.

This is directed by Michael Paul Girard, who wrote the fourth film in the series, and written by Peter E. Fleming (who also wrote the previous film), based on a story by Jerry Feifer. I would say it's a terrible film, but that pretty much goes unsaid by now. The series is what it is, tenuously connected softcore romps that use an implausible supernatural framework to host some tame sex scenes.

But if you thought any of the previous instalments were bad, you're going to have a horrible time with this one. The acting is atrocious from everyone involved. EVERYONE. The leads are awful, the supporting players are worse, it's almost as if the director told his cast that the person who gave the worst performance would get some huge bonus on payday. As well as those already mentioned, that includes April Breneman (as Keli, the partner of Spanner), Michael Altan, Ashlie Rhey, and Mai-Lis Holmes (who is at least more fun onscreen than anyone else).

The script is as muddled and messy as other Witchcraft movies, but with added vampirism (which allows people the chance to wear amusing false fangs), and even less of an attempt to make the characters more than the most paper-thin walking cliches. The dialogue between the two cops and their superior officer sounds like something that could have been written for an episode of Angie Tribeca.

At least I was able to laugh while the film was on, whether it was at the script, the acting, or the not-so-special effects. Say what you like about this series, each instalment is silly enough to save you from wanting to self-lobotomise before the end credits roll. And that is about the only thing I can say to recommend this, and many of the other instalments.

2/10

As Witchcraft VII: Judgement Hour is currently unavailable, use this general link instead to do some shopping.

Dead By Dawn 2016: We Go On (2016)

After the madness of YellowBrickRoad, writer-directors Jesse Holland and Andy Mitton return with another impressive horror entry. While more traditional in style and aim than their debut feature, this remains something a bit different. Yet it also ladles on the atmosphere and traditional scares with a skill rarely seen at this level (not to dismiss the many fine horror movies we see every year, I am just emphasising that this is a top-tier flick with very few of the flaws we usually see associated with considerably lower budgets).

Clark Freeman plays Miles, a young man who seems to be afraid of almost everything in the world around him. Especially cars. He's one of the few people who doesn't drive. In an effort to release himself from his paralysing fears, Miles overs a large financial reward to anyone who can prove that there is something after death. He wants to take some comfort in the fact that we go on, hence the title. After wading through a large pile of kooks and deluded responses, he narrows his potential candidated down to just a few. Heading off to meet each one, with his mother (Annette O'Toole) in tow, he soon finds that there may not be any proof out there. Until it appears right under his nose. And then he might wish he hadn't started on this journey.

There are only two main problems with We Go On. First of all, Freeman isn't the best lead. He's not terrible, by any means, but it certainly takes a while to warm to his character. After some careful consideration, I concluded that this was due more to Freeman's performance than the writing, which is pretty solid throughout. The second main problem is a surprising lack of tension during some sequences. There's atmosphere and some wonderfully spooky details, and a few fantastic jump scares, but the tension dissipates once some rules are laid down and you know what can and cannot occur. That doesn't make the experience of some of the main characters any less harrowing, however, and it's a minor flaw when the rest of the actual horror content is so well handled.

As well as Freeman and O'Toole (who is wonderful, by the way, in her portrayal of a mother who will go to almost any lengths to keep her son safe and well), the cast includes John Glover in a small role (making the film an extra little treat for Smallville fans), Giovanna Zacarias as an alleged psychic plagued by the presence of spirits around her, Jay Dunn as a lovesick stranger, and Laura Heisler as a young woman trying to keep a dangerous individual out of her life. All of these people interconnnect in ways that feel nicely plausible without ever seeming too contrived, in the context of the main premise.

Holland and Mitton have certainly learned a thing or two over the past few years, although I am still also a huge fan of their debut, and We Go On uses almost every trick in the book to deliver the chills. The visuals and production design are solid, the audio moves up and down to prime you for those big scares, and the script manages to satisfy everyone while also still leaving room for some personal interpretation.

If you enjoyed some of the bigger supernatural hits from the last decade or so (The Sixth Sense, Stir Of Echoes, White Noise, etc) then you should love this one. It's up there with the very best of 'em.

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8/10

Ani-MAY-tion Month: Spirited Away (2001)

The name Hayao Miyazaki is one familiar to many fans of animation. The man has been delivering great works of art for years and years now, and is most famous for My Neighbour Totoro and this one, the film that seemed to win him an even wider audience (in my experience). It was certainly the film that introduced me to his magical universe, and it remains my favourite from Studio Ghibli.

The story is all about young Chihiro (voiced by Rumi Hiiragi) struggling to survive in a world of spirits and fantastical beings. She's out to rescue her parents, you see, because they were turned into pigs after eating food from a stall in an abandoned theme park. In order to get them back to their human state, and get them back out of the spirit world, Chihiro must work hard in a bath house, and must never EVER forget her real name. She is helped by a young man named Haku (Miyu Irino), but there's a harsh witch named Yubaba (Mari Natsuki) who will do her best to make sure that Chihiro fails in her quest.

As inventive, gorgeous and magical as any other Miyazaki movie, Spirited Away once again mixes some dark themes and moments with a child-friendly selection of oddities in a way that shows how attuned the director is to his audience. There's a lot here that seems scary and dangerous, but it's always offset by either the bravery of Chihiro or the cute cast of supporting characters.

The vocal cast all do a great job, but they're lucky to be accompanying some absolutely gorgeous visuals, even by the standards of Studio Ghibli. The bath house, which provides the setting for most of the movie, is lovingly detailed, but then there are the other locations, including the bridge and steep stairway that provides one way to enter the bath house (I know, I know, it doesn't sound worth mentioning, but it really is), that are all just as wonderful to look at. The characters range from the fairly solid and normal Chihiro to the multi-limbed Kamaji (who supplies the work area above him with the hot water that they need), and from the sweet little "black soots" to the large, and sometimes scary, "No Face". Each and every one is memorable and created with great care.

I always feel inadequate when discussing the works of Hayao Miyazaki. There are only so many ways I can try to praise him enough without resorting to displaying a selection of screenshots from any movie that he's involved with. All of his films are made with heart, they all allow for fantastical adventures throughout a cinematic landscape steeped in rich history and culture, and almost every frame could be hung up as a work of art (as cliched as that statement is by now).

While I have never been accused of being the most mature individual in any room, this film really takes me back to the state of mind that I had throughout my childhood - wonder at the world around me, fear and joy as new discoveries came into my life, and a naive belief that everyone in the world had good in their heart. It's good to recapture those feelings, and it's something that Miyazaki often does with astonishing ease.

9/10

http://www.amazon.com/Spirited-Away-Hayao-Miyazaki/dp/B00005JLEU/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1399399704&sr=1-1&keywords=spirited+away+blu

Beetlejuice (1988)

For people who may have forgotten just how good that Tim Burton used to be, for those who have seen nothing from him apart from remakes, Beetlejuice is one of his many, earlier works that will remind you of his imagination, humour and sheer brilliance.

It's the tale of a married couple (played by Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis) who have their happy life unexpectedly spoiled by premature death. Completely bewildered by their situation, the couple find their situation getting worse and worse as their home is then bought and inhabited by a horrible couple (Catherine O'Hara and Jeffrey Jones) and their morbid daughter (Winona Ryder). As they watch their home become "infested" with unpleasant people they turn, in desperation, to Beetlejuice (Michael Keaton), a bio-exorcist who claims that he can solve their problem.

Everything here ticks the boxes for a Tim Burton movie - the use of Danny Elfman for a lively score, the macabre subject matter with plenty of humour in there, the wonderful visuals and main roles for some of his favourite people of the 1980s (Keaton, of course, was his choice for Bruce Wayne/Batman and Ryder was also given a starring role in Edward Scissorhands).

The script by Michael McDowell and Warren Skaaren is enjoyable enough but this is a movie elevated to greatness by a number of flawless performances. Particular praise must go to Michael Keaton, who gives yet another hugely entertaining turn in the title role despite the character not being onscreen for little more than about 15 minutes. Davis and Baldwin are very likeable as the recently deceased couple trying to protect their home while O'Hara, Jones and Glenn Shadix are very UNlikeable as the new people trampling over many happy memories. Shadix, in particular, is irritating and completely pretentious as Otho, someone who pretends to know everything about everything worth knowing. Winona Ryder is very good as the young girl who happens to figure out exactly what's going on before the rest of her horrid family.

There are great depictions of the afterlife, an unforgettable staging of Day-O (and one or two other songs from Harry Belafonte) and a mixed bag of practical special effects that may not hold up as perfect creations but certainly retain plenty of charm. Beetlejuice is a movie that I have always remembered with fondness but haven't seen that often since that first viewing back in the '80s. It's a pleasant surprise to find that it's one of those movies that just gets better and better with each viewing.

9/10

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