The Muppet Movie (1979)

There's no easy way to put this, sometimes I was very stupid in my youth. That would often take shape in obvious ways (such as swinging on that rope "tarzan" that was on a branch too weak to hold my weight, leading to me being dropped into a river while fully clothed, spending the rest of the day desperately trying to dry off before I reached home, and the potential wrath of my mother) and sometimes it would take shape in ways I didn't even realise until now, such as my opinion of The Muppet Movie.

I've always loved The Muppets. Always. I mistrust anyone who doesn't. And a lot of their feature films are wonderful, from this first outing up to the most recent, Muppets Most Wanted. But wonderful doesn't necessarily mean great, it can just mean enjoyable and comforting. Because they all star The Muppets. Which is all a way of saying that, for some reason, I always viewed The Muppet Movie with affection, yet also thought it was a bit . . .  dull. Maybe I had been spoiled by the hectic and energetic episodes of the TV show, maybe I was victim to my youthful inability to remain engaged by films that weren't hurtling non-stop from one impressive set-piece to the next.

Whatever the reason, I was wrong. This is a fantastic film that takes a simple premise - the tale of how the gang got together - and uses it to link together some enjoyable songs, loads of gags, and a smorgasbord of celebrity cameos. There's also a plot point about a villain named Doc Hopper (Charles Durning), and his right hand man (Austin Pendleton), who wants Kermit to become the face of his restaurant chain, one that sells a menu with frogs legs as the main draw.

It's very hard to find fault with this, a film that manages to both capture the heart of the show and also shows the creations in slightly different environments and ways (e.g. it's always odd to see Kermit's legs). It helps that most of the celebrity cameos are from some of the biggest names in comedy (Richard Pryor, Steve Martin, Bob Hope, Madeline Kahn, Mel Brooks) and some of the biggest names, period (Telly Savalas, Elliott Gould, Cloris Leachman, and a final surprise that proves extra delightful for film fans).

The songs, by Kenny Ascher and Paul Williams, are catchy, the jokes are wonderfully daft, and it's all as sweet and endearing now as it was when first released four decades ago (even if the stupid child version of me didn't fully recognise that).

If you're a fan of The Muppets then this is one to watch and rewatch whenever you need your day brightened up. If you're not a fan of The Muppets then, well, I don't know how to help you.

9/10

This set is available here.
Americans can buy the same set here.

Yule Love It: A Muppet Family Christmas (1987)

Fozzie Bear's mother, Emily, is getting ready to head off on a holiday when her plans are changed by the arrival of the whole muppet gang. Well, almost the whole gang. Ralph is lagging behind, somewhere, and Miss Piggy still has some way to go. This also upsets the plans for Doc (Gerry Parkes) and his dog, Sprocket, as they were going to be staying in the house on their own while Emily went off on her holiday.

Although not anywhere near as good as The Muppet Christmas Carol, or some of the other Muppet movies, this Christmassy TV special is fun throughout, full of the expected mixture of gags and songs. There's not much to it, and it's as forgettable as it is enjoyable, but fans of the fabric creations will find plenty to enjoy.

Directed by Peter Harris and written by Jerry Juhl, the simple plot not only brings together the usual gang but also allows screen time for residents of Sesame Street, some muppet babies, and even The Fraggles. The usual easy lessons are woven throughout the narrative, with one of the loveliest involving a scene between Swedish Chef and Big Bird, and nobody is wrapped to any degree, just to get them to fit into the seasonal storyline.

Apparently this first aired on my birthday in 1987, which makes it all the more depressing that I only got to it now, over thirty years later. It's easy enough to track down online, but difficult to find in a complete version, due to various rights issues leading to certain sections cut from most VHS and DVD releases (certainly in North America). Still, whatever version you end up seeing, this is a delight. There's a snowman that pairs up with Fozzie Bear for some comedy schtick, a running gag about a patch of ice at the doorstep, standard grumbles from Statler and Waldorf, and the sheer pleasure of seeing so many of these characters interacting with one another despite usually being kept to their separate shows (I can't tell you how stupidly happy I was to see Kermit and Robin meeting a bunch of The Fraggles).

There's also a sweet cameo from Jim Henson at the very end of the show, pairing him up with Sprocket for just a moment.

There's nothing more I can say about this. It runs for just over 50 minutes, it's never dull, and you'll already know if you want to watch, or rewatch, it. Fans of The Muppets will love it. Everyone else, well, they just need to find themselves a soul.

7/10

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Muppet Treasure Island (1996)

It's very hard for me to now look at Muppet Treasure Island and wonder why I didn't enjoy it so much when I first saw it. The presence of Kevin Bishop aside, who is at least much more bearable as a child actor as he is in adult form, this is a typically enjoyable Muppety adventure, based on the famous tale by Robert Louis Stevenson. The worst thing I can say about it is that it isn't The Muppet Christmas Carol.

Kevin Bishop plays young Jim Hawkins, a boy who ends up in receipt of a treasure map that he then takes on board a ship, The Hispaniola. The crew seem like a decent lot, especially that charming fellow named Long John Silver (played by Tim Curry), but there's mutiny and plundering in the air. And a small dose of cabin fever.

Brian Henson is credited as director, although there seems to have been a lot of work done by David Lane, and three writers put the script together, giving audiences the standard mix of fun characters, gags, and musical moments. The songs here may not be as memorable as some, there's only one that I can remember right now (to do with the aforementioned cabin fever), but they're serviceable enough and interspersed sparingly throughout the proceedings.

Bishop isn't as annoying as some child actors, which is a plus, and Curry adds another excellent performance to his CV with his portrayal of Silver. There are also small roles for Billy Connolly and Jennifer Saunders, both fun to watch even if they're only onscreen during the first quarter of the film. As for the Muppets, you get most of the usual suspects: Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Gonzo, Rizzo The Rat, Sam The Eagle, Dr Bunsen and Beaker, and the grumpy old fellas who comment on what's going on (Statler and Waldorf). Another point against the film, however, is the fact that they're not given as much screentime as they get in other films. Miss Piggy, for example, appears onscreen about 20-25 minutes before the very end, while both Kermit and Fozzie are given lead roles that still somehow leave them feeling like minor players in this tale (because the focus is always on the main human characters).

Okay, having started with such optimism, I can now remember why I didn't love this the first time around. It's all down to the fact that there's more time spent with humans than Muppets, or so it seems, and there's a distinct lack of really memorable moments. Which still doesn't make this a terrible movie. It just stops it from being one of the better Muppet movies.

6/10

The movie is available in this set here.
Americans can get the movie here.

Blockbusted?

I like Blockbuster, I do. I know that liking them is irrational and that they do quite a lot to make themselves unpopular but a) I used to work for them and enjoy my free rentals each week and b) I know that a lot of the staff working for the company started, as I did, with a naive idea that if they loved movies then they would enjoy working for the company and could spread their love of movies to others. Some staff still try and you can tell, as you can with any business, which employees genuinely know and/or care about their product.

It's strange to see how many big businesses seem to lose their focus as they grow and grow, even while the situation almost demands that they remove blinkers and get with the program. I'm only using Blockbuster as an example here, from what little I know and to illustrate my point with a recent personal experience.


Here's what little I know (or think I know) about the company at the moment. It's in major financial trouble, I believe, and this has led to some major restructuring and the closure of many stores. I'm not sure if they ever did enter Chapter 11 bankruptcy or not but they are certainly like so many other businesses around nowadays in the way that they need to make every £1 of profit count.


Here's how not to help yourself make money.


I walked into my local Blockbuster the other week and asked the following: "Oh, did you guys get any retail copies of The Muppets on Bluray?"


The guy working in store that day was someone I'd spoken to before and he's a decent lad but he doesn't have the passion and banter that his colleague has. Sorry to say it, he's a less effective salesman in his role because he always seems to be wanting to be elsewhere. Anyway, on this particular occasion he turned to me and said "Oh mate, with releases like that nowadays, unless they're the BIG titles, you have to put a deposit down to make sure they get ordered in or it's just not going to happen". This was said with a wry grin and a whole "we're men of the world" air of complicity that kinda hid the meaning of his words until I left the store.


"Ah," said I, "so I doubt you'll be getting Carnage in either."


"No," said the sales assistant, "that one we could maybe special order in for you but we're only getting a few rental copies of it in and no retail due."


"Okay then, cheers."


And I left. Or, to be more exact, I left and immediately texted my wife that it would be much appreciated if she could pick up a copy of The Muppets on Bluray while she also bought a bit of shopping at the big Sainsbury's along the road from us.


THEN, feeling a bit guilty for so quickly and easily turning "traitor" I started to realise what I'd just been told. The lad working for a company in financial trouble had told me that I was wrong, as a consumer, to expect them to have in stock a title that I thought would sell pretty well. That was the way of their world and a £2 deposit would be required for whenever I thought ahead next time.


Hmmmmm. Actually, as brattish and spoilt as it may make me sound, we live in a consumer-powered society and if I want something at the best price I will tend to shop online. If I want something as a little treat for myself I will tend to stick it in the shopping trolley while I buy groceries. And if I want to help my local Blockbuster and buy a new movie there then I will go in and see if it's in stock. If it's not in stock then it's their loss and I will go to buy it elsewhere. That's entirely my choice. Of course, Blockbuster (and, indeed, any store selling goods) can't possibly have everything in stock that people may or may not want to buy. But when they don't have something in that I wanted to buy then that's not my fault, at all. Nope. The onus is with them to have goods to sell me.


This is not, despite how it may seem, a moan about Blockbuster. I still like them and have fond memories of working for the company and recommending movies to people who took a genuine interest in finding some gems. This is just my own little rambling about how I was genuinely astonished to find such complacency nowadays in an environment which really does put all of the power into the hands of the consumer. If you're never complacent with people then you should always do well, in my opinion. Life doesn't always work out that way but it should and I hope that, for anyone out there giving 100% in whatever the role is, it does.