I was asked recently why I had left my blog to gasp and die. And I wasn't sure of my answer, even as I was verbalising it. I know that there were times when it started to feel like an obligation. I know that there were times when it felt like adding a teaspoon of water to a sea already rising up enough to send us all into the kind of environment we once mocked when Kevin Costner starred as a merman. And I decided that not writing about movies would give me more time to actually watch movies. You can watch movies without necessarily sharing your opinion of them with others, right?
But that itch has been growing in recent weeks. A small, glowing ember has been fanned into some small flames that may well lead me back here on a more permanent basis. I no longer have the NEED to blog daily, but it's starting to feel like I have the desire again.
That is down to a mix of a few different things.
First, I am still trying to watch as much as I can on Netflix, Amazon Prime, MUBI (no idea why it took me so long to give that streaming service a try), and alsoSHUDDER.
Second, I am still as big a shopaholic as ever, thanks to Arrow Films, Powerhouse/Indicator releases, Eureka!, and numerous other labels, both big and small. I have been acquiring some great reading material, from booklets enclosed in lovingly-packaged releases to the selection from the impressive Spectacular Optical. And Dark Bunny Tees is still my clothing supplier of choice (all gift cards greatly appreciated). I am not bankrupt yet, but it often seems like it's not from a lack of trying.
Third, I have been enjoying the world of podcasting. Yes, I caved in and joined a few good friends to assault your ears with Raiders Of The Podcast. We're on Twitter (as Raiders Of The Pod), Facebook, and many places were you can quench your podcast thirst. I even do a daily Instagram for movie-related goodness. And my Letterboxd allows me to keep track of all my viewings.
Fourth, last, and by no means least, I have had some wonderful cinema experiences lately. The kind of experiences that make you want to wax lyrical about the power of the moving image. Films like Blade Runner 2049 (okay film, amazing time at IMAX), Thor Ragnarok (blockbuster of the year? maybe), mother! (messy, not an easy watch, and quite brilliant), and 70mm screenings of both Dunkirk (Nolan has won me round again) and Lawrence Of Arabia (gold-plated classic).
I make no promises (or threats, depending on how you view my ramblings). Let's just say . . . . . . . maybe meet up here again tomorrow?
I LIKE to keep this blog focused on the movies for a couple of reasons. First of all, any political comments tend to upset people, and I'm not aiming to do that (despite my defence of certain dubious movies appearing to show me in a contrary stance). Second, I just don't have the time to make the many blog posts I'd love to have here every single day. But today reminded me that, hell, if you can't go online and type a lot of words out while suffering from a rebellious digestive system then what's the damn point in having wi-fi?
So, in between the noir reviews (and a little something extra popping up here in an hour or two), I'm going to present my current 10 pet peeves as a horror fan.
10) Fans who are all talk and no action. It's a tough time, economically, for most people. And I am not going to say that I rushed out to see every independent horror that piqued my interest. But we all know people who love to bemoan the state of the horror genre, and this isn't just restricted to this year, while never actually checking out the non-mainstream titles. If the people who went to see Annabelle over the past few weeks also went to check out something like Housebound or The Canal then we'd be looking at a much more interesting playing field. I'm sure that some did. I'm also sure that it wasn't as many as it could have been.
9) People tagging horror stars in a way that suggests casual friendship. I'm friends with a lot of horror stars on Facebook, and I love it. But I'm Facebook Friends with them. None of those people want tagged in my photos, whether or not I'm holding up one of their movies. I've tagged people now and again, more so on Twitter, and that has been for two reasons.
A) Twitter is much more direct, and quicker, and I'm giving a heads up if there was something I caught that I wanted more people to see.
B) I have had enough minor interactions with the person to know that they appreciate all of their fans, and don't mind occasional mentions if it's relevant to their career/filmography.
This has stopped me from pretending every photograph I was in was linked somehow to Robert Englund . . . . . . . . but it's also stopped me being a shithead.
8) Intolerance. Like any community, the horror field has tolerant folks and intolerant folks. Most of the great horror fans I know are incredibly tolerant, and I'm talking about in relation to opinions on movies here. You will, however, always get arguments that crop up from time to time that show some horrible cracks. There's the lover of the slow-burn who wouldn't go near a Stuart Gordon movie if you paid him. There's the gorehound who needs a bodycount. There's the person who won't read subtitles, sometimes arguing with the person who will ONLY watch subtitled movies. I have enjoyable, fun arguments with a lot of my friends, but I've also seen far too many discussions turn ugly just because people like different things (thankfully, this doesn't usually involve friends of mine).
7) On the flipside of the above point, our seeming ability to forgive any sins. I include myself in this bracket. I'm probably in a few of the other brackest too, so this isn't all directed out to the world around me. There should surely come a time when we just want to see Dario Argento, John Carpenter, and Tobe Hooper (to use the first examples that came to mind) all head off into permanent retirement. I mean . . . . . . . . . . . . look at their cinematic output in the last decade or so. They're like T-101s with supersoakers full of urine, transporting further and further back each time to piss all over their own glorious heydays. We need a John Connor to end this. Even if I do quite like Ghosts Of Mars nowadays.
6) Reviewers gaining more and more self-importance. Again, and I can't emphasise this enough, I have a lot of friends who also review movies, and they do so for a love of cinema, often also a love of words, and just as a way to express themselves about a genre they have given a lot of time to over the years. I'm not on about those. I hope I'm not on about myself either, but you can make that call. I love it when someone enjoys what I've written, but I put no stock into my own opinion, as any kind of weighted commodity. I have even been known to remind people of that after criticising a film that I thought had potential to impress others more than myself. I want to praise films, I want to sometimes rant about them, but I don't want to be the sonorous voice trying to drown out all others. I don't ever want to be the guy connected to everyone in the industry, or the person reviewing the trailer of the Evil Dead remake, because it's hard to read those types of voices without thinking that the behind the scenes went a little like this:
"Hey, you, slightly nerdy guy."
"Who, me?"
"Yes, you. Pause that crazy movie you're watching (*The Ring*) and we'll make you an offer you can't refuse. You're a nerd, or a geek, whatever . . . . . . you're kinda like people who are now making up a large share of our audience, and who now have lots of money, because they don't spend it on sunbeds or Harvey Nichols sales. Write for us. Get us IN with that crowd. And we'll make it worth your while. One day you could even meet . . . . . . . . . . someone who was a walking tree in the background of that movie that made us shitloads of cash. The Box Office Rings, I think it was."
"Yes, yes, YES. I'll do it. And for my first piece . . . . . . . I'll be interesting and edgy and write about why I think The Ring is actually superior to Ringu."
"Ringu? You're adorable. Nobody knows what that is. Figure out some great kills from semi-forgotten slasher movies and we'll kick things off with that, okay?"
*END SCENE*
5) The never-ending stream of remakes . . . . . . . . . complaints. I get it. Yes, people could make better use of the money and talent they get working in the genre, but we all know that a lot of the time they actually get that money and talent because they can work with something that has brand recognition. Do I love them all? Hell no, but I tend to find that it's more 50/50 nowadays, thanks to some surprisingly good films that have come out in just the past few years. Remakes like Maniac, 13 Sins, and even Evil Dead (despite the fact that I didn't love it as much as many others did).
4) FINE, I'll say it. Found footage. But not just found footage as a style, because there are still occasional movies done in this style that I REALLY like. It's an intense experience, when done right. Lazy found footage, however, is a choice made by people who think it's either going to make their movie easier to film or make it easier to sell. Either way, it's often based purely on economics, which is no way to make a horror movie (even though I realise it's the movie BUSINESS). Prime example = The Sacrament.
3) Horror fans who ONLY watch horror. Bear with me here, bear with me. I know that there's not really too much wrong with finding a genre you love and sticking with it. That's kinda fair enough, but it's hard to argue against the fact that the horror genre has been more influential, and more influenced, than any other genre around. So my complaint here, if it needs reworded, is about the pigeonholing that some choose to do. I often made the case for Dead Man's Shoes as a slasher movie (masked main character, actual bodycount, troubled history). It was just a bit of fun, but the truth at its core always made me more amused when people started to shake their heads more vigorously and demand that it never be construed as such. Why? What does it matter to you if some consider it horror or not, and why won't you watch/rewatch something not given the traditional seal of approval? You might just be pleasantly surprised.
2) Loving anything old school. A lot of movies are being marketed now with an old school vibe. Apparently, that often translates to "wasted resources, some bad actresses can get naked, and blood". Yes, those elements were often present and correct in the movies we loved watching throughout the '70s and '80s, but just as often we had real care taken with the material, real actors who were on their way to becoming stars, either in or outwith the horror genre, and . . . . . . . . okay, blood was often flooding the screen, but not always. It IS possible to make a great film with an old school feel, even the wonderfully twisted You're Next managed to do so while also turning a lot of things on their head, but just making a movie that's cheap and crude doesn't make it fucking so.
1) Unchecked love-ins. This may say more about the state of my mind than the state of horror at the moment, but there are a few figures cropping up that you'd be forgiven for mistaking as untouchable wunderkinds. I hate this. Personal taste aside, because maybe people speaking up for them genuinely DO always love their work, I just find it highly unlikely that so much unchecked adoration doesn't make other people narrow their eyes and "hmmmmmmmm" in suspicion. I'm not going to name any names here, especially anyone who is receiving any such adulation, because it's not as if I personally outright hate anyone on the receiving end of such love (and, hey, what a problem to have, right?) or, indeed, anyone giving it out. It's just unfair. It's unfair to anyone writing, if they're no longer able to be seen as impartial. It's unfair to the people being praised, who may end up finding others reacting negatively to them in some misguided attempt to balance things out (a la every 1/10 - 10/10 rating on IMDb). And it's unfair to anyone seeking out opinions on new films, talent, music, books, etc.
The internet is FULL of movie reviewers, absolutely chock-a-block stuffed with them. You can't move through cyberspace without, figuratively, tripping over them. Some folks even review episodes of TV shows and movie trailers. The phrase "everyone's a critic" has never been more apt. But why do people do it? Why do people keep trying to talk amongst a cacophony of other voices?
I can't speak for anyone else, obviously, but I can tell people why I try to put something on here every day. It's a mix of my love for cinema, my OCD and a constant in my life that often staves off bouts of depression.
Whether I was rushing up town with my £5 pocket money to buy the hilarious Stir Crazy on VHS (before everyone was so strict about the laws restricting sales to those not of the correct age) or writing down notes in jotters that I am only thankful have long since been lost, I pretty much fell in love with movies as soon as I was old enough to start escaping into that world. I could rewatch favourite films in a way that only youngsters can. And my movie-viewing habits were nothing compared to my mate, Robbie, who once spent a whole Summer watching Kelly's Heroes nearly every single day of the school holiday. I'm not exaggerating.
As I grew older I started to buy more and more movies, quickly amassing a decent collection. Shelves full of videotapes were as organised and well kept as my mind was chaotic and neglected. I continued to scribble notes, but never did anything with them. I had no idea of what I really wanted to say, or even who I would say it to.
I kept at it anyway. Not the writing, but the shopping. Even at my lowest ebb, with barely £1 a day for food shopping, I kept hold of a few DVDs that I hadn't lost, stored them with my few possessions like some talisman, some portent of good times to come.
Those good times came about three and a half years ago, when I met the woman who is now my wife. Now I'm not saying that there haven't been other good times in my life, but they've always been spoiled by either events outwith my control or, usually, my own self-sabotaging behaviour during one of my many bouts of depression (helped, of course, by a good does of alcohol and the company of people either oblivious, or uncaring, of my mental health issues).
When I first met my wife I was still very much ignorant of ways and means to control my highs and lows. There's no cure for severe manic depression, as I often remind people, but there are a lot of tricks and tactics to help you manage it, to try and stop it having such a negative impact on your life. Schedules and routines are good, for example. Making sure that you pick good friends, of course. And, for me, viewing and reviewing movies. I know, I know, it's strange but true.
I used to write plenty of reviews on IMDb and, because of those reviews, I was approached to write for Flickfeast. I discussed it with my wife.
"I'd be a LOT busier," I said. "I'd be watching even more movies. I'd have some deadlines."
My wife replied to all of these comments by reminding me that I loved watching, and reviewing, movies anyway so may as well seize the opportunity. And she was right.
I've since attended EIFF on four occasions, getting more confident and organised with each visit. I've made LOTS of new friends and connections, both in Edinburgh and around the world. My movie collection has continued to grow beyond the boundaries of good taste (according to my wife). And, perhaps most importantly, I have been happier and more stable in my mindset than I have ever been at any other point in my life.
So THAT'S why I put something daily on my blog. Don't get me wrong, I also like to think one or two people will enjoy what I write occasionally. I am egotistical enough to want to shout out over the hundreds of thousands of other folk shouting out into cyberspace. But it keeps me healthy, happy and motivated in a way that nothing else has.
Well, there's that, and also the fact that it gives me an excuse to watch the likes of Sharknado.
It may seem like a random pic, but it's from an appropriate movie
Well, it's a few days into the full flow of the festival and I am already remembering how tiring it is to see everything I want to see, write up full reviews, tweet away and add FB updates (as well as a blog post or five).
In true EIFF fashion, I have already been reminded of a few things that I seem to forget each year.
1) The quieter the movie, the louder my stomach. Just ask the poor guy sitting beside me while we all watched Fred.
2) Cinema staff may be there to facilitate the needs of those attending screenings but that doesn't mean that manners have to be left outside the cinema.
3) There AREN'T enough hours in the day.
4) The best French cinema nowadays remains a great experience but the lesser outings feel like parodies of the movies that were first shown late at night on Channel 4 two or three decades ago.
5) Many critics seem to feel that if something is made to be enjoyed by a lot of people, or is lightweight fun, then it's not really worth their time but might make for an acceptable filler in between a schedule full of "worthier" movies.
6) There ISN'T enough coffee in the day.
7) I love being kept so busy and being allowed to view so many different films for free. Absolutely LOVE it. Yes, there are bad movies as well as good ones but that's the chance you take when you schedule two weeks worth of eclectic viewings.
8) People who are late into screenings or who leave early always make me more mistrustful of the festival coverage - do these people still write reviews or are they just there for their personal enjoyment and well within their rights to see as much or as little as they want to?
9) Nobody will ever believe you when you tell them what a great time you're having BUT that it is also hard work. Nobody, with the possible exception of other reviewers.
10) I'm quite a fast typist nowadays but could always do with trying to be even faster.
I still have no time just now for movie viewing/reviewing but it just struck me as I walked home today and saw Union Jacks flying and people enjoying an excuse to have some wine and nibbles streets away from the beggars and the Big Issue sellers and the job centres and those with many problems on their plate (as opposed to some Mr. Kipling cakes and daintily sliced sandwiches) . . . . . . . . . . . . . has everyone suddenly lost their mind and just been brainwashed into enjoying this "Diamond Jubilee" with no thought of protest or what a smack in the face it is?
Employment figures are high, money is being stretched further and further, the government seems to shows itself up as more and more corrupt every single day in the news (news that, ironically, has shown that it can lower itself to the government's level) and a year or so after the big uproar that included riots in England and the 99% trying to make themselves heard we are laughingly encouraged to celebrate the long reign of someone who wasn't elected to their position, who sucks more and more money from taxpayers than any benefit fraudster and who has done nothing bit be born into privilege.
Now I don't hate the Queen, she's always struck me as a very nice woman doing her duty for the country and trying to move with rapid and turbulent times. But I don't love her either. With 2012 seeing this event and the Olympics here in the UK it seems to me to be a case of the higher uppers latching on to anything that can give an excuse for a distracting celebration. Careful now, I'm pretty sure that's why America started the first Gulf War.
I was thinking earlier today (shut up, it does happen sometimes) about how much I would love to make my passion my main focus in life. My passion is, of course, the wonderful magic of movies. Which is something both enlarged and eroded by the world wide web. There are many cine-literate lovely people out there who share their views with those willing to listen and prove themselves to be veritable fountains of knowledge. Thankfully, many of these people I now consider friends. Then there are people like myself, more like a running tap of knowledge (and sometimes prone to moments of inactivity thanks to a blockage somewhere). I try to be informed and intelligent but I'm aware that most of the time I compensate for my weaknesses with passion and also sheer numbers. There are also people who just have a very specific field of interest or a very limited knowledge of the complete world of cinema but this is the internet so everyone can have the same amount of space without crowding out anyone else. The only kind of film "fans" I tend to dislike are those who so obviously show that they're . . . . . . . . in a way . . . . . . available for rent, if you don't mind me phrasing it in that way. As in every area of review writing, there are times when egos can be massaged and opinions can be swayed. I like to THINK that I've never done that but I'd also admit that a) diplomacy and politeness often pay off in the long run and b) it's better to concentrate on the plus points if you at least see the potential in people who may then subsequently give you a bit more of their time. I think being polite and diplomatic and sometimes focusing on the potential ahead rather than the here and now is very different from praising every scrap that some person or studio throws your way.
But why was I thinking about all of this earlier? Well, someone took umbrage at the fact that during a Facebook discussion on someone's wall I posted a link to a recently written review. Oh, I was a heathen and a grubby moneygrabbing whore with no morals or manners. Or so you would think. Hey, you know what, as mentioned above I would LOVE to make money from this. But I don't. There are clickable links in most of my reviews (most of the links, the ones also in bold typeface, go to other reviews while some go to products) but I don't force anyone to click on those links and I don't charge anyone for reading what I write. If anything, I'd pay people to humour me and read my nonsense. I think this blog has been going for about a year and a half now and my sum total raised through AdSense is . . . . . . . drumroll please . . . . . . £4.97. I'm pleased with that, I never even thought it would be that much, and I'd like to build on that figure and go onwards and upwards. But the focus of my reviews will always be the movies themselves and my opinion, NOT any selling avenues.
I've thought long and hard about why movies have been THE big thing in my life and I think it comes down to a few main touchstones in my formative years so allow me to just mention them here and reminisce slightly.
First of all, I KNOW why I'm a big horror movie fan. Blame my babysitter. When I was about 6-7 years old one of my main babysitters was a young guy who was really cool. The deal was that he could record as much of my mum's vinyl collection as he wanted as long as I could sit quietly on the sofa and watch the late-night Hammer horror films. He gained some great tapes, I gained a lifelong love of horror.
Secondly, my love of ALL cinema and ability to watch anything and everything came from Prisoner: Cell Block H. Yes it did. It may sound strange to you, especially those of you outwith the UK, but when I stayed with my gran on any Friday night she would stay up late to watch Prisoner: Cell Block H. I would either be allowed to watch it with her or I would feign sleep while listening to the plots (fights, lesbianism, wicked warders, it was a cross between Oz and a Jess Franco flick every week) unfold. Almost inevitably, my gran would start snoring before the end credits rolled. I would look over, unable to see her eyes as her spectacles reflected the glow from her electric fire that looked like a coal fire (if coal fires were designed by electricians), and I would just know that I could see half of a movie or, with any luck, the whole thing. And back in those days Channel 4 had their famous "red triangle" system for the more adult material. Translation: If it was French and the red triangle showed up onscreen I was going to see some boobs.
Thirdly, two of the first videotapes I ever bought for myself were far from the usual young teen choices and they've remained favourites of mine to this day. Stir Crazy and An American Werewolf In London. Notice the different link styles? Anyway, both movies are very different from one another but I consider both to be eminently watchable whenever the mood takes you.
There were many more moments here and there, of course. Seeing bits of Creepshow while everyone thought I'd fallen asleep in the corner chair (a trick that we've all used many times in our childhoods). Being caught by my mother the morning after I'd seen Dawn Of The Dead for the first time and having slept with my lamp on for the whole night. She did shout at me but I didn't get spanked, oh no. The worst moment was when she said "that's it, no more scary movies for you". Luckily, she didn't mean it. Running off one evening with my pocket money to see Batman on my own. Sneaking in to my first "15" at the cinema and being terrified in case we got caught then mere months later sauntering in to buy tickets for my first "18". And despite whatever criticism this may lead to, sitting there and finally seeing Reservoir Dogs uncut on a fantastic and perfect pirated copy while it was sitting in limbo thanks to the BBFC.
It may seem sad to some who just don't understand but these are the great memories and moments that I just keep adding to every time I see another movie that I love and feel the urge to rave about. And the internet makes it easy and instant to share that passion. And THAT'S why I do this blog, my reviews at Flickfeast and my IMDb reviews.
Having said that, feel free to use any links while shopping online.
Oooohhhh, look at those two great books *hint, hint*
Sad news for anyone hoping to read the weekly Seagal spot (if there's anyone insane enough to be in that situation). There's no place for the slap-happy chappy this week.
I tried and tried and tried but all to no avail - I just couldn't find Clementine anywhere at all (well, except for about £18 on Amazon and I'll be damned if I'm going to pay out that kind of cash just for a potential stinker of a film). Who would have guessed that a Seagal movie would be harder to find than some ex-video nasties? Apparently, he only appears in the thing for about 5 minutes but I'm still disappointed at missing this one out and will endeavour to get to it if/when the opportunity arises.
So, for the benefit of anyone mad enough to want some kind of Seagal fix, I present you with my very own Seagal megamix.
Steven Seagal stars in The Foreigner Is Marked Out To Deal Death To Justice.
Act 1: Seagal is leading a bunch of men who are wearing dark clothing and hold guns as if they've been trained by some of the best, and cheapest, weapons handlers in Hollywood. A building is stormed. Lots of stuntmen earn their paychecks. Seagal looks stern. He disregards some important order to save the lives of others but this just ends up leading to the explodification of the whole building with all of Seagal's men dead and a big baddie who has managed to flee.
Seagal turns to look at his unbelievably beautiful wife and lovely daughter, who have both come to stand and watch him do his stuff (it's "bring your family to work day" in his Black Ops unit, others are also crowded around and some are eating cookies). Seagal looks concerned. Two bricks that have been blown from the building land on the smiling faces of his family. And they're dead.
Act 2: (5 years later) Seagal is no longer a violent man and has, in fact, become the best children's entertainer the world has ever known. Because Seagal is the bestest ever at everything he fucking does. His clown persona, Loose Brie the cheese-loving fool, is a hit wherever he goes. But bad memories arise when Loose Brie turns up to entertain some kids and realises that the father is the baddie who fled the exploding house that accidentally on purpose killed his family. The painted smile hides growing anger. When the party is over, Seagal tries to contact his old bosses and get them to take action but they're not interested. A house was blown up, people died, they're not even allowed any more "bring your family to work" days. Move on. Seagal refuses.
Act 3: Seagal tries to get closer to the big baddie who evaded him all those years ago. Meanwhile, everyone he has ever known and worked with tries to kill him. And the same thing happens in the movie.
Act 4: Seagal helps a poor woman who then falls in love with him but he tells her that he has one last job to do before he can return to what he does best: raising smiles on the faces of children and curing cancer with the power of his chi (oh, this isn't specified but only implied, as it is in every Seagal movie). He then goes into a whirling slo-mo, choppily edited frenzy of destruction and man-slapping before facing up to the baddie who escaped at the very beginning. The baddie hides behind his youngest child. Seagal jumps up in the air and spinning roundhouse kicks the villain out of the window to land with a crunch outside, deadified. The child begins to cry and asks why he would do such a thing. Seagal replies: "your father had a face painted in lies and greed, nobody gets to clown around forever".
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. In other words . . . . . . not to cast aspersions on the writing skills of one Mr. Dickens . . . . it was like most times.
Fluctuations, ups and downs, this past week and the time ahead has been/will be very exciting for a number of reasons.
This blog was always set up to be a back up, somewhere to come to with the writing that I didn't want to overwhelm Flickfeast but every blogger knows that once a blog begins it gets what it wants. Which is why I am here at the back of one in the morning writing a little apology to myself (or, rather, my blog) for having abandoned it for a while and having to abandon it for a while longer.
The past week or so has seen me attend the awesomeness that is Dead By Dawn, lose a laptop to a dangerous PC virus caused by . . . . . . my own temper and a dodgy wi-fi connection and then gain a shiny new laptop from my lovely lady. I've also seen some great films (Insidious being a doozy) and tried to chill out. Because in two days I go to Southern France and I don't want to watch any movies or be online. I am forcing myself to have a proper holiday and, for the first time in a long time, feel that I really deserve it.
The new job is going very well (there's one person rubbing me up the wrong way but there always is, right) and in a few weeks it will be time for the Edinburgh International Film Festival. That means a busy busy time for me and a load more movies.
In the minor bad news stakes - anyone who was enjoying Resonance (hiya April) probably won't see it continuing for a while longer than I expected. Two reasons. 1) The self-imposed holiday and return to an overburdened workload. 2) The noted I had worked on for the next section were on the dead laptop.
But this is not the end . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . it's a hiatus.
Cheers
:-)
