While long the film has languished on my shelf,
I now picked it on Netflix to watch for myself.
Leaving the bluray inside its case,
A sign of my movie collecting addiction disgrace.
Ere I was soon feeling slightly remiss,
Being presented the vision of Robert Zemeckis.
An epic poem is translated for the layman,
By writers Roger Avary and that Neil Gaiman.
Things start with Anthony Hopkins and Robin Wright,
Crispin Glover plays Grendel, who gives them a fright,
There's also John Malkovich, and plenty of mead,
Then Ray Winstone comes along to portray our lead.
The epic tale is told with motion-capture animation,
Allowing Zemeckis to show us his grand imagination,
But the end result is a massive misfire,
Despite showing our heroes fighting monsters with ire.
Brendan Gleeson is here, and Angelina Jolie too,
Alison Lohman plays Beowulf's secret boo,
But none of them work as well as they could,
The technical gimmickry not doing them good.
There's a decent score here from Alan Silvestri,
I'm not sure how to judge the cinematography from Robert Presley,
Darkness and light are used to impress,
But the technique's not perfected, it's a bit of a mess.
There's no real sense of grandiose scale,
Most viewers will mark this as one giant fail.
Zemeckis is now much more devoted to tech,
His film-making style now a glossy pile of dreck.
Here there be dragons, and golden men born of flame,
But it's lacking in thrills and the director's to blame.
I knew when I bought this years ago it was a bit of a risk,
But now I know it won't be long until I resell my disc.
3/10
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