For It Is Man's Number: August 2026

Sunday, 2 August 2026

Netflix And Chill: 72 Hours (2026)

It's almost impressive how Kevin Hart has managed to move from mediocrity to painfully unfunny in an attempt to keep cashing the streaming service paychecks. I have often gone for his movies as an easy choice for a weekend distraction, and they used to work in a very basic way, but now I'll just keep associating him with absolute awfulness. Because even many Kevin Hart fans will tell you how bad this is.

Hart plays Joe, an advertising exec trying to land a big contract with a vodka company. He has his life together, in many ways, but also hasn't given full commitment to his partner, Jennifer (Teyana Taylor), or his own career ambition. And he might be in trouble. His latest pitch hasn't gone down well, with many thinking that he's now too old to figure out how to make ads appeal to the younger generation. Thankfully, he ends up accidentally added to a WhatsApp group chat between four young guys out to celebrate the upcoming nuptials of their friend, Mason (Mason Gooding). After initially having a bit of fun with them, Joe offers to fund most of their trip in exchange for spending some time with them. The guys think that Joe just wants to party, which is partly true, but Joe is also aiming to get an insight, and some covertly-filmed footage, to help him in his job. He's certainly not aiming to cross paths with a dangerous drug dealer (Jaze, played by Michael Mando).

Tim Story is the director here. While rarely one of my favourites, he's been delivering moderately enjoyable fare for a few decades now. You wouldn't know that from watching this. Both the direction and the screenplay, written by four different people, ends up relying far too much on the star power of Hart, putting him in a variety of situations where he can do his usual mix of mugging, insults, and nervousness.

Things wouldn't be so bad if Hart was surrounded by some top-tier talent. He's not. That isn't to say that those playing the younger characters (Gooding, Marcello Hernández, Kam Patterson, and Ben Marshall) are bad. Gooding continues to be an easy onscreen presence to like, and the other three work well enough with the material they're given, but they're not up to the task of pushing one another in ways that could have turned weak material into something more amusing and entertaining. Mando does well in another role he could play in his sleep by now, Taylor is woefully underused, considering the caché she has right now, and there's not much added from the likes of Zach Cherry, Kevin Dunn, and Andy Garcia in supporting roles. It's actually another Garcia (Anna, no relation to Andy) who rises above the predictable and tired plotting to provide a couple of welcome extra laughs.

Connections are made, life lessons are learned, and things look at their bleakest before taking an upturn during the third act. You know this is going to happen from the start. Not only does the film provide no surprises, not a one, but it presents itself as if it has been created by people who believe they are doing something genuinely good. Which makes it even more saddening and infuriating. If I could at least see someone struggling to hide their pain then I would have hope. I don't, and I wouldn't be surprised if we eventually got something like Another 72 Hours in the next year or two.

3/10

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Saturday, 1 August 2026

Shudder Saturday: I Heart Willie (2025)

Sometimes I watch a film and I know that I won't feel the need to be nice and polite about it. It doesn't happen often, and I have mentioned recently that I try not to be too personal or too rude, but there are certain films that feel so cynical and lazy that they deserve as little of my time and energy as possible, making me far less inclined to be pleasant to those involved in it.

I Heart Willie is one of those films. It's another in the current crop of films made by people who thought they were clever when the copyright on certain specific properties expired. I've heard from people I trust that some of the others aren’t actually that bad, but the few I have been brave enough to endure so far have all been pretty dire, and this is the worst of them . . . so far.

Written by David Vaughn, who also plays the main monstrous character, all you get here is a group of weak and unsympathetic characters ending up trapped by a skin-carving killer. Each main death is underlit, grossly mishandled, and so dull that it feels like a determined artistic statement on the monotony of the life of a compulsive serial killer.

Director Alejandro G. Alegre doesn’t show any desire to do anything interesting, but equally shows no desire to provide simple thrills and entertainment. There’s a tiresome moment of gratuitous nudity from the one actress I presume was persuaded to take her top off, some very poor special effects, and a killer backstory that is much more laughable than it had to be.

I won’t even mention the cast. Nobody is good here, aside from maybe one person who is involved in one scene near the start that has him pushed out of the proceedings far too early. Everyone else is either so weak or outright awful that the kindest thing I can do here is not name them.

The only thing stopping this from being among the very worst things I have ever seen is the sheer quantity and variable quality of my viewing choices. Most people will struggle to name a worse modern slasher. I was more thrilled and entertained years ago when I used to play Castle Of Illusion Starring Mickey Mouse on my SEGA system.

2/10