Eenie Meanie (2025)

Written and directed by Shawn Simmons, Eenie Meanie has the air of something given to someone finally allowed a shot at feature film-making after years spent helping to create entertainment for the small screen. A quick glance through the filmography of Simmons confirms that, yes, that's exactly what has happened. Simmons has his name on about 30 or 40 various TV show episodes, but this is his first major film credit. He helps himself immensely by getting Samara Weaving for the main role. Sadly, he spends a lot of the movie then working against himself.

Weaving plays Edie (nicknamed Eenie Meanie by some). Edie used to be the best getaway driver in the business, but she got out of that life. Unfortunately, her on/off boyfriend, John (Karl Glusman), didn't. He now owes Nico (Andy Garcia) a large debt, and Nico has a plan for John to repay that debt with a major score. It will need an excellent getaway driver though.

There's nothing new here. The super-skilled getaway driver has been done in a number of movies. The ex-criminal unable to go straight because they've been manipulated into one last job has been done in almost every other crime flick from the past hundred years. And daring heists that have people using skill and a bit of luck to defy impossible odds? Well, I'm sure you can name a few films with that main plot point. So the only real novelty here is having Weaving as the central figure, and it's her charisma and talent that make this more watchable than it otherwise would be.

Simmons makes the mistake of not really nailing down the tone, which doesn't help. Some moments are fun, some moments are thrilling, and some moments take viewers on a hard turn into a road called downbeat street. If these different strands flowed and blended well then Eenie Meanie could have been a pleasant surprise, but they do not. None of the fun moments reach their full potential as viewers are reminded of the high stakes, the same goes for the thrills (a couple of expected driving stunts aside), and the most downbeat moments feel as if they've been spliced in from another film entirely.

Weaving is great. When is she not? That's rhetorical. Don't answer, especially as I anxiously try to remember the many film appearances she has racked up that aren't deserving of her good work. Glusman is fine, although he has to struggle at portraying a character who feels quite irredeemable. He's a greedy and selfish idiot, and doesn't get any big moment to turn things around. Garcia delivers the goods in a few scenes that are real highlights, and the rest of the supporting cast members - including Steve Zahn, Jermaine Fowler, Marshawn Lynch, Randall Park, Mike O'Malley, and Chris Bauer - are almost all wasted. Nobody is given enough time or character development, which is more annoying when it means more time spent in the company of Glusman's character.

There's a nice muscle car being put through its paces in the third act, the score is decent, and Weaving gets to carry the film. It's just a shame that there's nothing more to it, and it's a shame that I was thinking about twenty better movies I could have rewatched instead of giving this one 106 minutes of my time. 

5/10

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Love Hurts (2025)

On the one hand, it's unfair to dismiss a film because it compares unfavourably to another film it wasn't necessarily trying to compete with. On the other hand, I ended up watching Love Hurts soon after watching Fight Or Flight, and it was immediately obvious that the latter film seemed to get everything right that this film, sadly, gets wrong.

Ke Huy Quan plays a realtor, Marvin Gable, who seems very content with his life. He's a mild and cheery fellow, happy to have left behind a life that was surprisingly stuffed full of violence and death. But that life won't stay left behind, and Marvin finds his life upended when Rose Carlisle (Ariana DeBose) reappears. This leads to Marvin being hunted down by a number of killers employed by his brother, Alvin (Daniel Wu), which makes it very difficult for him to keep his past a secret.

I am not surprised that this is the first film directed by Jonathan Eusebio. I am also not surprised that writers Matthew Murray, Josh Stoddard, and Luke Passmore don't really have many other features of note to their name. That's the main feeling you get when watching Love Hurts, it's a film made by people ready to make the most of a talented stunt team in the hopes of distracting viewers from a very weak and very familiar plot. It's a shame that the stunt team didn't get the memo. 

There's a lot here to appreciate, and I am never going to claim that I could do even a quarter of the physical stuff that many of these performers can do, but Love Hurts is disappointingly repetitive and unimaginative when it should have been an opportunity for everyone to bring some crazy ideas to the table and see how many gags could be squeezed into every main action sequence. As many others said before I even saw this, Love Hurts is a film that you end up willing to do better for most of the runtime. And that's mainly down to Quan in the lead role.

Trying to make the most of his recent success and praise, Quan is someone who is very easy to like. He puts himself across as very sweet and unassuming, and he has a fantastic athleticism that deserves to be showcased in front of the camera. DeBose carries herself through the film with the kind of carefree and cool presence that makes the connection between the leads easy enough to believe in. As for the villains, they're a good mix of real menace (Wu) and quirky killers (Marshawn Lynch, André Eriksen, Cam Gigandet, and Mustafa Shakir). Lio Tipton also has a supporting role, playing a colleague who ends up caught up in the madness unfolding around our hero, but the way that the movie pushes her closer to the character played by Shakir is just far too silly. And it would be remiss not to mention the cameo from Sean Astin, which leads to a genuinely sweet and moving payoff, thanks to the baggage brought to the film by the shared legacy that he and Quan have as lifelong Goonies.

I liked Love Hurts, but I felt as if I had to work hard to like it in spite of itself. It's a mess, it's disappointingly unable to maintain any decent energy or momentum, and many of the fights feel like the same moves being used over and over again (not saying they ARE that way, but they feel like it). Maybe everyone can put their heads together and have another go at making something worthier of Quan's time and energy.

6/10

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Prime Time: Bottoms (2023)

A comedy from the same people who delivered the acclaimed Shiva Baby to many happy viewers, Bottoms is the perfect mix of smart and silly that had me laughing from start to finish. It is the kind of film that I will unreservedly recommend to everyone, and if you hate it then I will know that we just don’t share the same sense of humour. Which will make me sigh. Because humour might be highly subjective, but it’s always nice to find something that allows you to share smiles and laughter with other people you know are on your wavelength.

Rachel Sennot and Ayo Edebiri play PJ and Josie, two uncool high schoolers who want a chance to turn things around. They’re not sporty, they’re lesbians, and they seem to be the only people rolling their eyes at a school system that treats douchebro football team members as unimpeachable royalty. So it’s hard to think of how they will improve their situation, but a fight club ought to do it. Yes, PJ and Josie start a fight club, a plan created just to help them get closer to the girls they are crushing on. But it soon starts to grow, giving club members more than a simple excuse to lash out and learn some self-defence.

Co-written by Sennott and director Emma Seligman, Bottoms has a great mix of characters, satisfying plotting that actually hews close to the standard plot of any well-known teen movie, and numerous lines of dialogue and individual moments that had me bursting out laughing.

It helps that the cast all feel so perfect in every role. Sennott and Edebiri can do no wrong at the moment, and the fact that they work so well together here is a huge plus. Kaia Gerber and Rose Liu do well as the cheerleaders not necessarily realising they are being crushed on by our leads, and Ruby Cruz steals a few scenes as the bomb-obsessed and brilliantly raging Hazel. When it comes to the guys, Marshawn Lynch has a lot of fun as a teacher who views himself as an ally, but wants to make as little effort as possible, and both Nicholas Galitzine and Miles Fowler are great as the two main football players who cause problems for the young women who don’t idolize them.

Seligman directs with great energy and a knack for balancing the silliness with very real and identifiable concerns, and there are moments here that were clearly conceived as both hilarious and cinematic, thanks to the shooting style and/or the soundtrack choices (and here is where I also congratulate Leo Birenberg and Charli XCX on a great selection of music to accompany many main sequences).

Easily one of the best outright comedies I have seen in the past ten years, Bottoms is brilliant, hilarious, violent, and deserving of becoming a firm favourite for those who appreciate it. The more I think about it, the less I can find to fault. In fact, yes, it’s perfect entertainment.

10/10

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