Remember last year when Dangerous Animals came out and it was quite brilliant? I definitely do. In fact, it was almost impossible to forget while watching Chum, a shark-centred thriller that is best described as Sadly Not Dangerous Animals. Or maybe some meme with someone saying "but we have Dangerous Animals at home" alongside an image of Chum being shown as that disappointing version owned by someone unaware of the big difference in quality between the two titles.
Alice Eve is Tina, a woman who has just married Tom (Eric Michael Cole). It wasn't exactly a happy wedding day though, considering an ongoing conversation that has led to them realising how different their values seem to be. There's not too much time to sulk and argue though, thanks to friends who have spent money on a private boat trip. It's all fun in the sun, or it should be, until a great white shark attacks the boat. That leads to Tina, Tom, and the rest of their party being picked up by a fisherman named Roy (Jim Klock). Roy still has some fishing to do though, and now he has much better bait to use.
While this isn't the first film from director Jonathan Zuck, who also co-wrote the weak screenplay with Joe Leone, it certainly feels like it. While there are some moments that work surprisingly well, some of the shots of the shark are far better than many other moments in many other low-budget shark movies, it's really just a very thin premise anchored (no pun intended) by one main star performer, who also bags a producer credit. That one star is Alice Eve, although her performance here makes it seem as if she has spent most of the past two decades trying to forget everything she ever knew about acting convincingly onscreen.
The fact that Eve isn't on top form wouldn't be so bad if the rest of the cast made up for things. They don't. Cole is completely unmemorable, characters played by Elle Haymond, Sarah Siadat, Lisa Yaro, and Johnny Gaffney are all people you hope might be placed in dangerous proximity to the big shark, and Klock is terrible, not helped by the moments that have him delivering the kind of pretentious voiceover that would work better in an indie drama from the early 2000s.
As I have said many times before, it's a burden to be a fan of shark and/or zombie movies. There are so many of them out there, and a large proportion of them are quite rubbish. You have to wade through the rubbish to find the hidden gems though. Chum is not a hidden gem. It does well enough in the middle section to save it from being one of the absolute worst I have seen, and Eve, although not great, still has just enough presence to help things along slightly, but it's definitely not that good. And it's definitely not Dangerous Animals.
4/10
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