For It Is Man's Number

Friday, 29 May 2026

You, Me & Tuscany (2026)

This may not be your first choice when it comes to a film to take up 105 minutes of your time, and it wasn't my first choice either, but You, Me & Tuscany aims to be a sunny and soppy bit of fun pairing up two leads that hopefully have enough charm to win over most viewers. How much fun you have with the film will depend on whether or not you DO consider the leads charming though.

Halle Bailey plays Anna, a young woman who tries to make a living from house-sitting. She's not great at it though, especially when caught in the act of wearing clothes that belong to someone she is working for. Down on her luck, majorly down in her finances, and considering some time away from it all, Anna enjoys an evening in the company of Matteo (Lorenzo de Moor), who convinces her to take a long-overdue holiday to Italy. Once there, Anna takes a bit of a liberty, however, by staying at Matteo's empty villa. And a couple of Matteo's relatives pop in while Anna is trying on a ring that she found in the villa, leading to the obvious idea that Anna is due to marry Matteo. Soon enjoying time with the family, and unable to reveal the truth, things become more complicated when Anna falls for Matteo's cousin (actually more like a brother), Michael (Regé-Jean Page).

Written by Ryan Engle, fleshing out a story co-created with his wife, Kristin, You, Me & Tuscany is very silly and fanciful stuff from start to finish. I doubt anyone will start watching this without having an idea of where it will all end, but it's a shame that there are absolutely no surprises placed anywhere throughout the story, and too few laughs, despite the opportunity for them to be more liberally scattered around. It's a Christmas TV movie in a summer dress. You get the deceased parent, and the weight of their memory. You get the woman travelling somewhere out of her comfort zone, destine for a meet-cute with an unbelievably charming and good-hearted man. There's the sassy and fun best friend (played by Aziza Scott, sadly relegated to being present only via text message form for most of the runtime).And there's heavy-handed messaging about following your heart, being true to yourself, and becoming part of a new family unit.

It may not be the best feature helmed by director Kat Coiro, but she at least makes good use of some beautiful and sunny locations, although a couple of main interiors may have helped to keep the budget lower than it could have been. It's not at all cinematic, but it's generally cute and mildly enjoyable.

Bailey is decent in her role, as is Page, and the two leads certainly have some chemistry. It's not always there, anything too passionate dampened by the safe and sanitised approach to the material, but it appears just enough to make their will they/won't they journey something that viewers can feel invested in. Lorenzo de Moor has fun as he gets to appear both good and bad to people, and Marco Calvani is a highlight, portraying a friendly and useful Italian cab driver. Isabella Ferrari, Paolo Sassanelli, and Stefania Casini all feel believable enough as, respectively, the mother, father, and grandmother of Matteo, and Stella Pecollo is a lot of fun as Francesca, someone with an odd view on just what makes a happy marriage.

Some will find this pleasant enough. I can't imagine anyone being a huge fan of it though. It's decidedly average in every way, the kind of film that will probably only be remembered by people when it's picked up by a streaming service and given some promotion in one of their prime spots.

5/10

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Thursday, 28 May 2026

Milk & Serial (2024)

Although I am just getting around to writing this review now, I actually made time to watch Milk & Serial before getting along to the cinema to see Obsession. I had already heard good things about it when it landed on YouTube in 2024, but I wasn't convinced that it would work for me. Then Curry Barker's name started to get quite a bit of heat attached to it, which made me realise I would be better arriving late to the party than not turning up at all.

This is the tale of Milk (Barker, who also wrote and directed the thing) and his friend, Seven (Cooper Tomlinson). They're a couple of YouTube personalities who keep themselves busy doing YouTube personality things. Basically, the kind of nonsense I try to avoid watching. Things keep getting wilder though, and viewers get to discover a number of twisted secrets as Milk and Seven spend some time trying to get one over on each other.

Clocking in at just over an hour, and with a budget that was apparently comfortably under $1000, Milk & Serial may not have been the lazy mess I was thinking it might be back when it was first released. It's not really a calling card that could have led to people expecting something as good as Obsession either though. Barker helps himself immensely by working in an environment he seems comfortable in, and there's something running through the premise that makes it that bit more plausible because of who the main characters are, but that also means that some of the standard YouTube prankster moments feel as cringe-inducing and narcissistic as YouTube prankster moments usually feel (to me). Thankfully, the developing darkness, and moments of creative nastiness, soon overshadow the more vapid and lighter first act.

Barker and Tomlinson both do very well in their lead roles, although it's the former who impresses more, and getting the easier job because of having all of the facts available and spending more time talking directly to the camera. Jonnathon Cripple is also very good, playing a man who becomes caught up in what I'll horribly mislabel a "prank war", and there are decent performances from Adlih Alvarado, Sterling L. Pope, and John Simmonds, as well as one or two others, all working hard to present things in a way that feels as natural as can be when everyone is aware of a camera pointed in their direction.

While I wasn't blown away by this, and spent some time wondering why it garnered quite so much praise when it first appeared, I must admit that I've been more impressed with it as I've spent some more time thinking about it. I would have had a much stronger reaction to it if, like many others, I'd been surprised by this after following the many short videos done by Barker and Tomlinson on their YouTube channel. You may think it's quite simple, and technically crude, for a lot of the runtime, but Barker and co. actually work a lot of nice little touches and details throughout that make it smarter and more disturbing than it initially seems.

I recommend this to people who are now hearing all the love for Obsession. You don't have to watch this one first, but it's interesting to see what works here, and just how much he improves in every area for his breakout hit.

7/10

Wednesday, 27 May 2026

Prime Time: Balls Up (2026)

If you want to know the level of care and thought that went into writing and directing Balls Up then you should know that it's set during a football world cup tournament in Brazil. In 2025. I'm no great follower of sports, and certainly no football expert, but even I know that the World Cup has taken place every four years since it began back in 1930 (with the exception of a couple of tournaments that were not played due to a little historical event known as WWII).

Directed by Peter "How Far The Mighty Can Fall" Farrelly, and written by Paul Wernick and Rhett Reese (two men who have proven that they could be funny on past projects), this tall tale concerns Brad (Mark Wahlberg) and Elijah (Paul Walter Hauser), two men who are aiming to make their latest prophylactic (one that covers both testicles as well as the shaft of the penis) the only one to be features in the World Cup final. Things don't go to plan though, and Brad and Elijah soon end up stumbling from one mess to another, seemingly pursued by every Brazilian football fan.

I never thought I would say this, but I think Mark Wahlberg needs a Ted 3 to save him before he hits any new lows that he won't be able to come back from. It's almost as if he's become so enslaved by the streaming services, and their paychecks (of course), that he has forgotten how the movie business works when it comes to stars maintaining their value. I could be very wrong, but right now . . . if Wahlberg was a stock market commodity then people would be selling their shares before the inevitable spiral and crash. Hauser is also devaluing himself, but he at least has a fairly varied selection of features that offer him a chance to hold on to enough goodwill until another upswing saves him from potential obscurity.

It's not just the leads who dive into this bog of eternal stench, however, and both Benjamin Bratt and Sacha Baron Cohen should have a stern word with their agents. At least Bratt isn't onscreen for much of the runtime. Cohen is a big presence in the middle third, sadly, and does nothing to stop it from being a fairly laugh-free zone. Molly Shannon made me smile a few times, there's an amusing voice cameo from Larry David, but Eric André, Chelsey Crisp, Jackson Tozer, Daniela Melchior, and Eva De Dominici are sorely mistreated by a screenplay that's stinkier than Pepe Le Pew in self-defence mode.

If you're after some simple laughs then the opening scenes may give you some hope. There's nothing smart or gut-busting there, but at least one or two moments are entertainingly silly without having to feel connected to a whole wide world outwith the workplace environment. I'd advise you not to let that sense of hope fool you though. Sometimes, yes, hope can set you free, but it can just as easily set you up for a plunge into mirth-free darkness and pain. And that is what you get here.

I was going to rate this a 2/10 for the opening scenes, but I decided to generously bump it up by one because I admit that I chuckled when Wahlberg and Hauser were shown performing a karaoke version of "Somebody That I Used To Know". Others may not be so easily amused, although there's a chance that my reaction was akin to someone being given a sip of water after three days wandering through a desert. Consider yourself duly warned.

3/10

Tuesday, 26 May 2026

The Mandalorian And Grogu (2026)

I guess I am what you would call a very casual Star Wars fan nowadays. I have seen all of the previous live-action feature films. Even those focused on the ewoks (hey, I was young, it was the thing to do before we had so much more content to enjoy). I've seen the first season of The Mandalorian. And I've even sat through the infamous The Star Wars Holiday Special. I couldn't name you every minor character though, and I certainly couldn't answer questions on the timeline and shifting politics of the Star Wars universe. So I went along to see The Mandalorian And Grogu with the hope that it wouldn't rely on me being some kind of expert on the main subjects.

Fortunately, this doesn't ask much of viewers. Unfortunately, you could argue that it's far too insubstantial. I've already seen other people comment (quite rightly) that it feels a bit flat and un-cinematic.

Co-written by director Jon Favreau, Dave Filoni, and Noah Kloor, this adventure puts our titular characters in jeopardy when The Mandalorian (voiced, and infrequently given a face, by Pedro Pascal) is asked to rescue Rotta the Hutt (voiced by Jeremy Allen White). Doing that should gain him some information about the whereabouts of a valuable individual. He also has to look after little Grogu, of course. Or will things happen that require Grogu to look after The Mandalorian?

This looks okay, and it's an entertaining distraction, but that's the best I can say about it. Nothing really feels as if it's envisioned as spectacle on the big screen, some character designs really work against some of the action in the third act (Hutts are better as mob boss types than fighters), and none of the pretend peril ever really works. Let's face it, this is still a fillm aimed at younger viewers, despite the 12A rating here in the UK, and nobody wants to make a decision that would ruin any future adventures and merchandising opportunities.

Pascal is a comforting presence throughout, even if he's not often fully visible, and White delivers an excellent vocal performance, as do the likes of Stephen McKinley Henderson, Shirley Henderson, and even Martin Scorsese. Sigourney Weaver adds another huge sci-fi franchise to her filmography, doing well with her relatively small role, and Jonny Coyne is entertainingly untrustworthy when he's onscreen. Most of the humanoids are easy to forget whenever Grogu is in the middle of the action though. It's a good job that they're as cute as ever, because the film wouldn't work otherwise. I'll also mention composer Ludwig Göransson here, thanks to the score feeling like an important supporting character throughout.

I like Favreau. I believe that he would have made this with good intentions. Those seem to have dissipated quickly though. While The Mandalorian And Grogu certainly gives fans of the duo some more time in their company, which is the minimum you'd expect, it doesn't work as a film. Nothing feels majorly different between the start and the end of the movie, and I might have enjoyed this more if it was marketed and made available as a special in between seasons of the TV show, or maybe a special providing a nice way to end the TV show. Which is what it is, basically.

Keep an eye out on my rating for this though, I may actually end up liking it more when I rewatch it in the comfort of my own home.

5/10

Monday, 25 May 2026

Mubi Monday: Sirāt (2025)

There's something so unexpectedly brilliant about Sirāt that it feels silly to try and convey the sensation of it in words. It needs heat, it needs something to cause disorientation, and it needs a pleasingly thumping bassline that grows and growls and starts to shake your internal organs as it increases to levels that you suspect will create some kind of fissure in your soul. Not that you would mind, because that would be a life-changing scar that would immediately align you with other travellers through such a transcendental experience.

Mixing the heavenly and the hellish, Sirāt is all about a father, Luis (Sergi López), in search of a missing daughter. He is travelling through some Moroccan desert landscapes with his son, Esteban (Bruno Núñez Arjona), and they soon become linked to a group of ravers who may be of some assistance. Or maybe they'll be too busy basking in the glow of their desert dance beats.

Although the film defies any simple description, I am going to say that it at least comes within touching distance of something that blends together Walkabout and Eden, with a couple of sequences that even brought to mind the towering classic that is The Wages Of Fear. Director Oliver Laxe, who also shares a writing credit with Santiago Fillol, seems to have gone for mood over everything else, but it's hard to argue with his approach when the end result is this good.

Despite the bright sunlight, the loud music, and the people who wander in and out of the frame, Sirāt often feels unnerving and dangerous. It's the feature film equivalent of an intense dry thunderstorm, and the few lightning strikes are all the more impressive and worrying because of the lack of any expected rainfall.

Populated by a large number of non-professionals, although you wouldn't know it from their performances, the whole thing is anchored easily enough by López, who does a brilliant job portraying someone trying to stay calm and in control while he is gradually moved further and further out of his comfort zone. Young Arjona does well alongside him, but he's slightly pushed aside when the camera decides to spend time with Jade Oukid, Stefania Gadda, Tonin Janvier, Joshua Liam Henderson, and Richard Bellamy, all absolutely brilliant as "the ravers".

Having read back through what I've just written, I'm still not sure that I've come close to describing just what a strange and confusing and satisfying experience watching this film is. You'll just have to see it for yourself. But make sure your volume is turned up for those moments of thumping bass, and don't expect to be able to easily discuss it with others once you've decided whether you liked it or not.

9/10

Sunday, 24 May 2026

Netflix And Chill: Remarkably Bright Creatures (2026)

A film based on a book (written by Shelby Van Pelt), there have been very few films in the past few years that I have realised were based on a book from the very opening moments. The main conceit here, a story presented, and sometimes narrated, by an octopus (voiced by Alfred Molina, no less) practically screams "THIS WORKS A LOT BETTER IN CUTE AND QUIRKY BOOK FORM". There's a cosy feeling here, but it's definitely a cosiness that I would appreciate more in a book than in a film, and the talented cast cannot do enough to make up for the lack of any real substance in the material.

Sally Field plays Tova, an elderly woman who spends a lot of her time being very good at her job, a cleaner at a local aquarium. That's where she has developed a bond with an elderly octopus named Marcellus (voiced by Molina). Things start to change when Tova is injured, forcing her to take some time off work just as Cameron Cassmore (Lewis Pullman) rolls into town in a van that breaks down. Cameron needs a job, which means that he needs to spend quite a bit of time with Tova.

Directed by Olivia Newman, who also co-wrote the screenplay with John Whittington, this is a film I would only recommend to people who are fans of anyone involved. As well as Field, Pullman, and Molina, you have decent screentime for Colm Meaney and Sofia Black-D'Elia. While they're not given the best material to work with, they're given enough to make spending some time with them a pleasant enough experience.

In fact, all of the main performances are pitched exactly where they need to be. Field is sweet and caring, for the most part, but also has moments in which she is abrasive and lashing out at anyone close to her, and Pullman continues to display the same kind of likability and easygoing demeanour as his famous father. Meaney is a lot of fun as a source of local knowledge for Pullman's character, as well as someone with more than a passing interest in our leading lady, and Black-D'Elia is introduced in an amusing enough meet-cute moment that signifies how she may become an integral part of the storyline. Joan Chen, Kathy Baker, and Beth Grant are members of the wonderfully-named "Knitwits", and there are one or two other individuals who do well enough with very small amounts of screentime.

I cannot say I disliked this. But a large part of that was tied to how much I like Pullman onscreen. I also cannot say that I liked it though. The script is a bit flat, and that's before you consider the horribly predictable and clumsy way in which everything is tied together neatly in the third act, and Newman doesn't do anything that supports the cast, aside from some nice shots of octopi and some other marine creatures.

And I should end this review by admitting that it took an observant comment from a friend to make me realise how enjoyably meta and cute having Molina voicing Marcellus was. He has a good voice for the role anyway, but Doc Ock delivering the ock talk feels like a deliberate extra treat.

5/10

Saturday, 23 May 2026

Shudder Saturday: T Blockers (2023)

This is the third or fourth film that I've seen from trans film-maker Alice Maio Mackay. I wish I had nicer things to say about it, and I wish I had nicer things to say about her career. Unfortunately, Mackay doesn't seem to have developed much in her first few years or film-making, although she has the advantage of youth on her side, having helmed her first feature when she was only 16 years old.

T Blockers is a film about Sophie (Lauren Last) and her friend, Spencer (Lewis Dawson), trying to survive when a parasite starts infecting local men, turning them even more dangerous than usual. There are parallels between the unfolding events and an old (lost) film directed by another trans film-maker that Sophie has been researching.

While there are a number of interesting ideas mixed in here (trans rights, of course, but also toxic masculinity being pushed to a deadly extreme, different forms of abuse, and the value of artistic pioneers speaking to those who don't often see themselves properly viewed and represented), Mackay doesn't have the budget, nor the savvy, to make use of them as well as she should. There's inherent value in this being a trans film that speaks to the trans experience, undoubtedly, but nothing else really works. That's a real shame, because Mackay has positioned herself as someone with a very valuable platform, and I'd love to see her do something to fulfil her potential. Maybe it's already happened in one of her other features, and I guess that being able to keep making movies is the only way she can keep hold of that chance to improve until delivering something truly worthwhile.

Last and Dawson are fine in the lead roles, working hard to overcome the many obvious limitations around them, and Toshiro Glenn does well as one of the very few decent men shown onscreen. Stanley Browning is an entertaining POS, and there are a number of cool scenes showing off an artist named Etcetera Etcetera speaking directly to camera in the role of Cryptessa.

It's a real shame that almost nothing else about the film works. The standard genre elements are mishandled, bordering on incompetent at times. The blending of the story strands is clumsy, at best. Even the commentary on the trans experience, and the prejudices of those who cannot empathise with people of different sexes or genders, is disappointingly weak. The only moments I enjoyed revolved around the exploration of the "film within a film", and even that could have been improved by putting even more focus on it.

I'll keep watching the movies made by Mackay, and I'll keep being optimistic, but I'll keep wanting more from her until she tries harder to make the most of the opportunities that seem to have been afforded to her.

3/10

Friday, 22 May 2026

The Sheep Detectives (2026)

I received funny looks from people last week every time I mentioned the fact that I was heading to the cinema to see The Sheep Detectives. Nobody seemed to think that it sounded like an enjoyable and watchable film. That's their loss. The Sheep Detectives is sweet, funny, and manages to hang everything on a central murder mystery that feels as well-constructed as it is comprehensible for younger viewers who may have a lot less experience with the template being used.

Hugh Jackman plays a shepherd/farmer named George Hardy, happiest when spending time with his sheep. He reads mystery novels to them every day, oblivious to the fact that the animals actually understand everything he's saying, and often have their own conversations about the plot when he's then taken himself off to bed for the night. Which ends up being good practice for them all when George is found dead one morning. Murdered. It's doubtful that the local nice-but-dim policeman, Officer Tim Derry (Nicholas Braun), will crack the case, which means it's up to the sheep. Lily (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) is arguably the smartest one, but she's helped by the likes of Mopple (Chris O'Dowd), Wool-Eyes (Rhys Darby), Cloud (Regina Hall), Sir Ritchfield (Patrick Stewart), Zora (Bella Ramsey), and Sebastian (Bryan Cranston). There are enough suspects in the local village, and the population has a few extra bodies in the shape of George's daughter, Rebecca (Molly Gordon), a lawyer named Lydia Harbottle (Emma Thompson), and a small-time journalist hoping for a big break (Nicholas Galitzine).

Based on a novel, "Three Bags Full", by Leonie Swann, this has been adapted into screenplay form by the talented Craig Mazin. He knows what people will want from this, and he delivers. The central investigation doesn't seem to cheat, there's a satisfying reveal and explanation that would make Agatha Christie proud, and you get plenty of moments that just have lambs being cute, sheep being amusingly sheep-ish, and a perfect mix of entertainment that displays danger one minute and cosy safety the next.

Director Kyle Balda has spent the last 15 years or so helming animated shorts and features, which makes him a good pick for something that relies on a flock of main characters created by, or enhanced with, top-notch computer work. You could tell me that 90% of the sheep onscreen here were entirely CGI and I would believe you. You could also tell me that 90% of the sheep onscreen here were entirely real and I would believe you just as readily. The impressive thing is that it's hard to see any "join", and a lot of that comes from the steady guiding hand of Balda.

While the voice cast all do great work, many of them are such a good fit for their characters that I suspect many viewers will struggle to place them until the end credits roll. Aside from those already mentioned, and lead duties are roughly shared between Louis-Dreyfus, O'Dowd, and Cranston, there's also a very enjoyable performance from Brett Goldstein, pulling double duty as the voices of Reggie and Ronnie, two sheep happiest when given permission to ram into things. Thankfully, the live-action cast members do enough to justify stealing screentime away from the sheep. Gordon is as easy to like as she usually is, Thompson is a lot of fun, Galitzine gets to upset a few people with his questions, and Braun manages to be sweet and amusing, AND maintains a pretty decent English accent throughout.

It takes a little while to acclimatise to how everything is presented, but most viewers will find that they soon start ignoring the artifice in favour of the characters and the unfolding mystery. There's a helpful, and lovely, score by Christophe Beck, decent pacing that makes the 109-minute runtime pass by quickly enough, and a perfect handling of tone that allows for some timely tears and tension in between the frequent chuckles. I hope that more and more people will eventually be convinced to give this a go, and it may well turn out to be the most delightful feature film of 2026.

8/10

Thursday, 21 May 2026

Save The Green Planet! (2003)

I have been meaning to see Save The Green Planet since it was first released over 20 years ago. It was one of those titles that became available during the wave of J-horror and South Korean films that contained some real modern classics, encouraging movie fans to keep exploring more and more films from those territories. It just kept being pushed down my list of priorities though, and was only brought back to my attention when I realised that Bugonia (which I am also yet to see) is a remake of it.

Was it worth the wait? Sort of. I think I would have been more disappointed if I'd watched this back in the early 2000s, perhaps with the hope that it would have many more moments designed to unnerve or disturb viewers. It's actually a strangely melancholic film, one that could be viewed as a study of someone with mental health issues acting in a way that eventually endangers everyone around them.

Shin Ha-kyun is our lead character, a man who becomes obsessed with the idea that a well-known pharmaceutical executive (played by Baek Yoon-sik) is actually an alien. It's very soon time for a kidnapping, and then some torture to get the alien scumbag to drop the human disguise and admit the truth. Which is only a solid plan if the alien kidnapee is actually an alien.

Written and directed by Jang Joon-hwan, who apparently wanted to present a film about kidnapping that would allow viewers to have some sympathy for the kidnapper, Save The Green Planet! is a bit of a muddled mess. A lot of individual moments work, and the last third is particularly good, but it struggles to stay focused and engrossing throughout the first hour, especially when showing us the work being done by a couple of detectives on the case.

The leads both do good work, and Hwang Jeong-min is enjoyable in the role of Su-ni (an accomplice/girlfriend who also seems to be viewing the unfolding events without really comprehending the dangerous reality of what is happening), but this is a film that struggles to keep the humanity front and centre. It's a strong idea, one that is carried along to an intriguing conclusion, but not quite strong enough to justify the 118-minute runtime.

It's impressive to watch a movie that constantly pushes against whatever you think it may be, and that's what works for Save The Green Planet! Unfortunately, it also works against it. Jang Joon-hwan is so busy ensuring that the film is strange and unpredictable that he keeps viewers slightly distanced from all that is happening, when it's clear from the chosen POV that he wanted to bring everyone right into the world and the headspace depicted.

I wouldn't call this an interesting failure though. It has enough scenes that work as intended. I'd call it a testing journey that asks for patience from viewers before rewarding them with some powerful moments and highlights delivered in the third act.

7/10

Wednesday, 20 May 2026

Prime Time: Worldbreaker (2025)

I thought I knew what I was getting into when I decided to press play on Worldbreaker. It looked like a low-budget and dubious sci-fi action movie. It had a main credit for Milla Jovovich. Yes, I've been here before, and I made my choice. Sadly, things were much worse than I expected.

I would explain the slight plot, but I fear that it would send us all plunging into a comatose state. There are nasty wee things attacking humans, and they can infect others with their scratches and bites. It's mainly men who end up transformed though, with women largely more resistant to whatever causes the dehumanisation. Willa (Billie Boullet) is a young woman being protected and trained by her father (Luke Evans), the two of them trying to survive on a small island, all while Willa's mother (Jovovich) is kept busy offscreen trying to lead the fight back.

I don't know what's happened to director Brad Anderson to take him so far from the heights of his earlier works, but I doubt anyone could do much to improve the screenplay from Joshua Rollins. This is lazy and careless stuff, with nobody able to do anything worthwhile with the central idea (armies of women leading a charge against an enemy that is much more harmful to the male population). The two biggest names in the cast are wasted in different ways, there's never any proper tension, and any action and/or bloodshed is hampered by an obvious lack of budget.

Boullet is the lead, and she tries her best with weak material. The performance from Evans highlights just how bad things are, with most of his dialogue so inane and risible that it feels as if it would work better in a spoof of this kind of thing. As for Jovovich, she was clearly available for one or two days, and the film is unable to stretch out the footage in a way that makes her feel like the formidable presence she is clearly supposed to be. Mila Harris plays the other main character, Rosie, but, like everyone else, she's also not really given enough to do.

Worldbreaker is a short film idea that needed much more work to flesh things out fully. Neither Rollins nor Anderson seem to have considered that, and neither of them do even half of the work required to turn things into a worthwhile feature. There's not one element here, from the score to the cinematography and editing, that manages to overcome the inherent flaws of the material, and would discourage anyone else from making time for this. Bad movies don't have to be unenjoyable. Low-budget movies don't have to be bad. This feels like a film made by people who didn't care enough to try and make the most of what was available to them, and they certainly didn't manage to make anything good or enjoyable.

2/10

Tuesday, 19 May 2026

Obsession (2026)

There was a big part of me that was resistant to Obsession, a horror film that not only completely won me over throughout the runtime, but one that will certainly be battling for a spot near the very top of any list when I rank my favourite films of this year. I'm glad I didn't let my biases stop me from getting along to enjoy a fantastic cinema experience with this one, and maybe it's time for me to accept that people who started on YouTube have simply spent time in a decent training ground for their journey into making movies. Although I'll always be wary whenever something gets hyped up as the latest must-see horror movie of recent times. Sorry, I've just been burned too many times by the hyperbole.

Having said that, ummmmmm, Obsession is actually the latest must-see horror movie of recent times. It's genuinely great in a number of ways, and I'd even allow it to be credited to writer-director Curry Barker as an outstanding feature debut (because Milk & Serial, as good as it was, just about crawled over the one hour mark, and feels like an important bridge between shorts and features).

Michael Johnston plays Baron AKA Bear (a nod to the popular opinion of women so often rushing to take a chance with a bear ahead of a man?), a young man who is in love with his long-time friend, Nikki (Inde Navarrette). Unable to tell her his true feelings, he instead makes use of a novelty named the "One Wish Willow". Obviously. Wishing for Nikki to love him more than anyone else in the world, he is stunned when his wish comes true. That's not necessarily the good thing he thought it would be though. Not at all.

Walking a very fine line between constant unpleasantness and darkly comedic entertainment, Obsession is a film that is all the better for the fact that it could have easily been so much worse. My one problem with it was the sound mix, with Rock Burwell's score rising so high at times that some dialogue is very hard to hear. I understand the decision though, and that sound mix works to add to the oppressive atmosphere, but it's the one thing that didn't work for me. Everything else is pretty much perfect.

Johnston and Navarrette both do brilliant work in the lead roles, the latter going through an impressive range of emotions, in the kind of performance that would be more recognised by critics if not placed in a horror film, while the former tries to keep playing up his "niceness" as it becomes increasingly clear just how problematic and bad his character actually is. Cooper Tomlinson and Megan Lawless are also very good, playing two friends who become concerned by the situation they see playing out before them.

The person to praise most is Barker though, considering how well he puts the pieces together in order to remove any ambiguity here. Despite how fantastical the premise is, and where it goes, things are grounded in a reality that will be recognised by many, and there are numerous reminders that what we're watching is an example of someone "nice" making the most of an opportunity to be with someone he desires without gaining consent from them. It's specifically mentioned in different scenes, but there are also a couple of important plot details that underline exactly who the main villain is, and how their actions go from bad to worse, creating a spiral that will undoubtedly turn things hellish and deadly for everyone around them.

Obsession will have you tense and laughing at the same time. It will have you thinking about what's playing out onscreen in a way that inevitably puts the idea of consent at the forefront of your mind. It will have you considering what Navarrette will do next to showcase her major talent. You might just end up loving it more than any other film in the world. For a while, anyway.

9/10

Monday, 18 May 2026

Mubi Monday: Mermaids (1990)

While there have been a few stinkers helmed by actor-turned-director Richard Benjamin, his filmography is also a good place to hunt around for a few gems. He certainly tried throughout the 1980s and 1990s to provide audiences with a wide variety of entertainment. Some were star vehicles, some were quirky movies wanting to win you over with their heart. Mermaids is a bit of both. And I'm as guilty as everyone else for forgetting all about it. I don't think I have revisited Mermaids since it was on VHS.

Despite missing that certain Patrick Swayze factor, Mermaids is a film that pairs up very well with Dirty Dancing. It's a period piece. It makes great use of many enjoyable '60s tunes. One main storyline concerns a young girl hoping to get herself into a compromising situation with an older man. And there are a couple of scenes that sprinkle some real grit and pain throughout the comforting fluff.

Based on the novel by Patty Dann, Mermaids has Cher as Mrs. Flax, mother to Charlotte (Winona Ryder) and Kate (Christina Ricci). Mrs. Flax believes in living in places for a good time, not a long time. She's used to that life, always happy to move after a bad experience or another ruined relationship, but her daughters sometimes struggle with the many moves. Especially Charlotte, who spends her time thinking about major religious figures, and how she can live a life of virtue. Kate is generally easier to please, especially once she's joined up with any local swim team. Things might be different in their latest home though, with Mrs. Flax perhaps meeting her match in the sweet and compassionate Lou Landsky (Bob Hoskins). Charlotte seems happy that they have moved close to a convent, but that doesn't stop her from having many impure thoughts about a local man named Joe (Michael Schoeffling).

One of just a handful of screenplays by June Roberts, this is a film that benefits from absolutely perfect casting, allowing for every line of dialogue to be delivered in a way that elevates the whole movie. Whether it's Cher being as entertainingly sassy as Cher can so easily be or Ryder narrating her wildly erratic thoughts as they veer from holy to sinful, Mermaids consistently delivers a whole lot of superb dialogue in every scene.

Benjamin handles everything well enough, keeping everything feeling just right for the period without spending too much time on the details at the expense of his stars. He knows what people should really want from their time with the film, and it's time spent in the company of memorable characters played by people who feel as comfortable in their roles as they do in their own skin.

Cher brings her confidence and self-assuredness to a role that would feel seriously hampered without it, and she makes Mrs. Flax someone who feels as well-intentioned as she is selfish. She isn't about to let herself be hurt, and her strength is obvious throughout, but that strength, that ability to erase her past and just move on, ends up becoming a problem when it becomes clear that things could be greatly improved by just a bit of compromise and work in her latest relationship. Ryder does a great line in melodramatic teen angst, with every minor embarrassment becoming something major in her eyes. Ricci may have the least to do, certainly in terms of character development, but she's properly adorable, and helps to make up a central trio that you don't want to see pulled apart. Hoskins may be the sweetest that he's ever been, and I was often chuckling at his reactions to Cher, whether he was obviously approving of her sexiness and bold demeanour or being confused by her antagonism. Schoeffling does enough to make his character seem pleasant and sweet, for the most part, despite the serious problem with how he ends up reacting to Ryder's youthful yearning for him.

Almost entirely forgotten by so many nowadays, apart from small sparks of memory that fire up whenever The Shoop Shoop Song (It's In His Kiss) is heard on some radio station, Mermaids deserves to be revisited and remembered. It's absolutely delightful, and I would argue that it's a real film career high point for all of the four leads. They might not agree with me, but I would still try to make the case.

8/10

Sunday, 17 May 2026

Netflix And Chill: Bumblebee (2018)

While it has certainly happened before, mainly in horror franchises, I wish more people would take the opportunity to use familiar IP in a way that still allows for films that feel more fresh and fun than whatever formula has been decided upon throughout a number of previous movies. Bumblebee not only does just that, but it does so brilliantly.

The story is quite simple. It's the second half of the 1980s, and transforming robot Bumblebee ends up on Earth. While in the guise of a Volkswagen Beetle car, Bumblebee is taken to the home of Charlie (Hailee Steinfeld). He eventually reveals his true form, and the two bond as it becomes clear that some danger is heading their way. That may be in the shape of other robots, and it may also be in the shape of a military man named Agent Burns (John Cena).

The first live-action feature from director Travis Knight, who also helmed the superb Kubo And The Two Strings, this is exactly the kind of enjoyable entertainment that you should expect from a film that has a young woman befriending a big robot. Writer Christina Hodson may not always attach herself to the best projects, but she has proven throughout her career that she can often write witty and satisfying blockbuster fare. This is her best work yet, mainly thanks to the whole load of heart that is allowed to take up so much of the screentime. A lot of the plot points may be obvious (Charlie missing a dead parent, Bumblebee figuring out just what is needed to complete an important mission, angry military types threatened by powerful tech), but they're mixed together well enough around characters that viewers should enjoy spending time with.

Steinfeld is great in the lead role, as she has been in pretty much everything that she's done so far, and she's given great support from Pamela Adlon and Stephen Schneider (playing her mother and stepfather, respectively), as well as Jorge Lendeborg Jr. (a guy with a crush on her, which leads him to also finding out about Bumblebee). John Ortiz has a small role, one that benefits from having his familiar face there, and Cena is good value as the determined man out to deal with what he perceives to be a major threat.

The 114-minute runtime, like everything else here, feels relatively bright and breezy in comparison to other Transformers movies, and there's a great pop soundtrack, as well as references to a number of iconic 1980s movies, whether in recreated moments or just film posters hung on the walls of our main character's bedroom.

Every set-up is paid off, there are a good selection of running gags (one of the best being about Bumblebee's inability to hide), and it's all just a genuinely heart-warming and fun teen movie that happens to have one of the awkward teens being played by a Transformer. I can imagine most people choosing to watch this again ahead of so many other entries in the franchise, and I don't blame them. In fact, I include myself amongst them.

9/10

Saturday, 16 May 2026

Shudder Saturday: Godless: The Eastfield Exorcism (2023)

There's a good movie at the heart of Godless: The Eastfield Exorcism. Like the desperate soul of someone claiming to be possessed, it's in there. Somewhere. But it's almost impossible to find though. You can catch glimpses of it, and the final moments underline a very serious point that isn't handled as well throughout the rest of the runtime, but it's trapped by something horrible.

Based on a true story, which should ensure that most seasoned viewers still treat everything shown with a large pinch of salt, this is the story of a young woman (Lara, played by Georgia Eyers) caught between two individuals who have very different approaches to her health issues. There's Dr. Marisa Walsh (Eliza Matengu) on the one side, trying to have uncomfortable conversations and force some kind of breakthrough. Then there's Daniel James King (Tim Pocock), a man who seems to believe that he can help Lara by performing an exorcism.

Directed by Nick Kozakis and written by Alexander Angliss-Wilson, there's definitely something satisfying about this kind of tale being presented in a way that is totally antithetical to all of the propaganda nonsense we've been served up by the hugely-popular The Conjuring movies. While I have enjoyed those movies, I have always been very aware of the major lies at the heart of them, and I have always worried about other people taking them at face value. This film shows the damage that can be done by charlatans seizing opportunities offered by desperately ill individuals, but it still spends too much of the runtime trying to present the material as standard horror movie fare. Personally, I wanted more moments that juxtaposed the lies and the truth in a way that could prove more jarring to anyone not caught up in the immediate drama and confusion of the whole situation.

Eyers gives the kind of central performance that you need for something like this. It's powerful stuff, and as physically-demanding as it is emotional, and she's very capable of doing everything that needs to be done. Dan Ewing does okay in the role of her partner, someone complicit in everything that happens once science is refused in favour of a faith-based "solution", and Pocock has the kind of confidence and charisma that makes it clear to see how easily he can delude himself, as well as everyone else around him, as he tortures an already-tortured soul. A few other people help to fill out the cast, including John Wood as a detective, but most of the film focuses on a central triangle formed around an apparent battle for one soul, with even Matengu underused as her character is sidelined and pushed out of the way by those unwilling to accept her approach to the situation.

It's a shame that a film based on this kind of tragedy still needs to make use of horror movie moments. The victims mentioned deserve better. Like I said, there's a good movie at the heart of this. It's only visible in the briefest of glimpses though, moments when something real and human gets to reach the surface before being pulled back down by dark and smothering awfulness.

4/10

Friday, 15 May 2026

How To Make A Killing (2026)

I really like Glen Powell. He can manage to look like a blockbuster movie star one minute and early 2000s Zack Ward the next. I am happy to see him continue to make career moves as he tries to be a reliable leading man in an interestingly varied selection of movies. It's clear, however, that he's sometimes a bit desperate to show a wide range of his abilities in every role. And if you're wanting something that allows you to present many different facets of your acting prowess then a remake of Kind Hearts And Coronets would seem to be a great showcase. So I can see what would draw Powell to something that many would consider a fool's errand. I'm not sure others will be so understanding though.

Powell plays Becket Redfellow, the offspring of a young woman who was disowned from her obscenely wealthy family when she wouldn't choose them over a relationship that they could not endorse. Becket is still in line to collect a large inheritance though, but only if all of his other living relatives die before he does. After the passing of his mother, Becket decides to see what he can do about positioning himself into a much more favourable position. Yes, this involves getting rid of a number of relatives, but most of them are so narcissistic and horrible anyway that it's easy to keep rooting for our lead to successfully prune the family tree.

Written and directed by John Patton Ford, who makes use of an original screenplay that is obviously a fantastic template to work with, How To Make A Killing is certainly good fun, and has moments that revel in the dastardliness of Becket as he starts to find a talent for killing, but, as is so often the strange way with some modern remakes, it lacks any real bite. Those unfamiliar with the original will probably appreciate everything here a bit more, but others will be disappointed as everything winds toward a finale that seems to signpost the fact that it's not wanting to be quite as dark or twisted as that film. Because mainstream movies aren't allowed to be as dark or twisted as they used to be.

Powell carries the film well though. He might not have won over everyone, but I've accepted him as a very appealing film star for a few years now. Various family members are played by Raff Law, Bill Camp, Zach Woods, Topher Grace, Ed Harris, and others, with both Woods and Grace being highlights. Two important women are played by Margaret Qualley and Jessica Henwick, and they both get to make much more of an impact than any of the pathetic male characters sprinkled throughout the supporting cast.

It's relatively sharp and relatively smart, for the most part, but this is a film that should have also been a whole load of fun. I had some fun with it, but not as much as I hoped for. It's almost as if Ford kept thinking about the Coen brothers and forgot that he was mining gold from a classic Ealing comedy. Passable entertainment, and moderately amusing, but this is a one-time watch for me, whereas the original film is a 10/10 classic that I could happily watch again and again on any given day.

6/10

Thursday, 14 May 2026

The Drama (2026)

While there were moments in The Drama that I enjoyed, I am sad to say that it mainly left me cold. Not only that, I didn't think either Zendaya or Robert Pattinson were on top form.

Written and directed by Kristoffer Borgli, who gave us the wonderful Dream Scenario, this is a film about a few different things. Emma (Zendaya) and Charlie (Pattinson) are due to get married. Things are seriously derailed, however, when they're encouraged by Rachel (Alana Haim) and Mike (Mamoudou Athie) to confess the worst thing that they've ever done. Everyone has made mistakes in their past, but it seems as if some mistakes are easier to forgive than others. Something is revealed that changes everyone present, and it may even lead to the whole wedding being called off.

There's something here that could have worked well, especially when looking at how people can react when learning something new about a loved one, but it's all overshadowed by the fact that the main revelation feels like something Borgli used purely because of the shock value. The best moments in the film juxtapose imagination with the reality of wedding preparation, and there are some laughs created by the editing and dialogue, but there could, and probably should, have been much more done with such weighty subject matter. Or maybe things should have revolved around something else entirely.

Pattinson is occasionally amusing when looking so dazed for most of the runtime, so at least he gets to benefit from the material in that way, but he doesn't feel believable in so many other ways. Zendaya never really feels believable at all, especially when you consider just how literally anyone would accept the challenge of "tell the worst thing you ever did" without considering the consequences. Haim gets the best moments, but her performance is undermined by her character trying to maintain the moral high ground after confessing her own awfulness (which I understand, that's one of the points being made, but it still doesn't help her), and Athie is good, but a bit underused. Hailey Gates makes a strong impression in her small role, Sydney Lemmon does well portraying a potential wedding DJ, Jeremy Levick is very funny as another potential wedding DJ, and Zoë Winters provides perhaps the best moments in the whole film as a wedding photographer trying to work with two people who are far from enthusiastically smiling subjects.

I really wanted to like this, considering how much I have enjoyed the leads in other features, and how much I liked the previous film from Borgli, but it just couldn't find the right path through some tricky terrain. Again, as I have said about one or two other movies in recent years, nothing is off limits when it comes to good and thought-provoking art, but you need to shoulder some extra responsibility when it comes to certain topics, whether you're trying to be serious or mine some very dark comedy from things.

Everything is decidedly okay, superficially anyway, but this needed to be much better than okay. Fans of confrontational work always deserve much better than okay.

5/10

Wednesday, 13 May 2026

Prime Time: Good Fortune (2025)

Written by, directed by, and starring Aziz Ansari, Good Fortune is a film that wants to explore the adage about money not being able to buy happiness. As you may already be aware, many people would rather "struggle" with a huge bank balance to support them than struggle through soul-sapping days of relative poverty and repetitive drudgery.

Ansari plays Arj, a young man keeping himself busy with a number of jobs. He's struggling to make ends meet, but that could all change when he lands a job with the rich and friendly Jeff (Seth Rogen). Things don't quite go to plan though, but an angel (Gabriel, played by Keanu Reevs) decides to try helping Arj by showing him how unsatisfied he would be if he had Jeff's life. Unfortunately, Arj realises that he would absolutely love to be Jeff. He doesn't want to go back to his old life, which leaves both Jeff and a now-Earthbound Gabriel stuck.

Good Fortune works best when it is giving time to the cute ideas that set up the plot beats. Gabriel is an angel who usually keeps an eye on people who are texting while driving. A hand on their shoulder at just the right time can help avoid some unpleasant accidents. The "bodyswap" sequence provides some fun. And having Keke Palmer in a supporting role is always an easy way to gain some more goodwill.

Where it doesn't quite work is in the scenes that try to highlight just how horrible and worker-unfriendly the "gig economy" is, and how everyday life can become a much more arduous experience for people who keep having to think about where they will find the money for rent, travel, etc. I couldn't help thinking that Ansari initially wanted to make more of a comment about the modern job market and gross inequality, but he seems to have then been understandably conflicted between making some important points and delivering the expected comedy.

Ansari doesn't stretch himself too much in his main role. It feels very much like the kind of character we've seen him play in full-on hustle mode before, albeit with less at stake. Rogen is also doing familiar schtick, just an appropriately toned down version, Reeves is perfect to play a kind angel who makes a big mistake he may not be able to fix, Palmer is as delightful and welcome onscreen as she usually is, and Sandra Oh is entertaining in her small role.

Enjoyable, if unspectacular, this is certainly another success when it comes to showing Ansari being as capable behind the camera as he is in front of it. I'm not sure it's destined to be remembered a year or two from now, and the third act feels like a bit of a wasted opportunity, but I am glad that I finally got around to watching it. Maybe it's time for Ansari to move out of his comfort zone though, which would mean delivering a feature that was either a full-on comedy or a very serious drama highlighting the frequent inequalities and injustices that are everyday realities for so many people.

7/10

Tuesday, 12 May 2026

The Devil Wears Prada 2 (2026)

I wasn't a huge fan of The Devil Wears Prada. It was fine. It absolutely worked for the people it was aimed at. I just never liked the way it tried to mix the aspirational with a lot of elements that should never be acceptable in any tale of the "follow your dreams" variety. And that is what it was, despite the fact that some of the main characters had very different dreams.

Here we are though, twenty years later, and The Devil Wears Prada 2 has already had the kind of hugely successful opening weekend that makes any review, especially one that has been delayed by about a week, absolutely redundant.

It's good to see that pretty much everyone is back, both behind and in front of the camera. Writer Aline Brosh McKenna, who adapted Lauren Weisberger's novel for the first film, knows how to deal with these characters. Director David Frankel knows how to film everything, whether it's the dialogue or the moments that showcase the fashion. And Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway, Stanley Tucci, and Emily Blunt all feel exactly right for where their characters would be in life at about this time.

The plot is quite simple. Runway, the magazine that is very much an in-movie version of Vogue, is in trouble. A scandal has erupted, but it's only a scandal that hangs around long enough to get the main characters back together. Miranda (Streep) remains in charge, but other people believe that the magazine, now struggling with a lower budget and more focus on online content and catching the eyes of scrollers, needs someone who can refresh the brand. Andy (Hathaway) is a journalist looking for a job, and is equal parts shocked and intrigued when she's offered a chance to return to Runway. Nigel (Tucci) remains a calm and brilliant presence. As for Emily (Blunt) . . . she seems to have moved somewhere far less toxic.

I can't think of a way that this could have worked better for what it wants to be, a legacy sequel tapping into nostalgia while allowing the main characters to be pulled into some extra problems created by tech and the modern world, but I still can't say that I really enjoyed it. The fact is that this will work brilliantly for those who loved the first movie. It's quite faultless when it comes to pleasing fans. It just doesn't change anything to make things any more enjoyable for those who weren't won over by this mixture of vibrancy and venom the first time around.

The leads are all fantastic, slipping back into their roles with ease. As for the newcomers, standouts include Kenneth Branagh (playing the husband of Miranda), Tracie Thoms (a supportive friend), a hilarious Justin Theroux (the kind of rich man who seriously over-estimates his own intelligence at almost every opportunity), B. J. Novak (typical "new guard" type of businessman), and a sadly-underused Lucy Liu. Patrick Brammall is a bit disappointingly bland for a potential love interest, but Simone Ashley, Caleb Hearon, and Helen J. Shen are all very enjoyable as other individuals trying to survive in the Runway workplace jungle.

If you loved The Devil Wears Prada then you'll love this. As for me, sitting in the cinema in my supermarket jeans and movie-reference-covered-t-shirt, I was never going to be the target demographic for this.

6/10

Monday, 11 May 2026

Mubi Monday: City Hall (2020)

There are many differences between the United States of America and the United Kingdom, particularly when it comes to the agendas that can sway major political decisions. There are also many similarities though, particularly when it comes to city councils, and the many small decisions made at that level to try to improve the lives of many citizens.

Having had my eye on this Frederick Wiseman documentary for some time, despite the hefty 282-minute runtime (about 4 1/2 hours), I wasn't sure exactly when I would make room in my viewing schedule for it. Then we had a whole lot of local elections throughout much of the UK last week, with the big picture at the end of it proving to be a particularly depressing one. People turned out to show their great displeasure at the government, and most of that is down to a hugely unpopular current Prime Minister, but many voters seemed to believe that their vote would create a national change that would create all-new policies and approaches to what they have been told are the main reasons for their unhappiness and relative poverty. City Hall is an opportunity to remember what local politics is really about, and shows people who seem to really have the interests of others in mind, as opposed to people who seem to be self-serving and profiteering manipulators.

There's not much to say about how things play out. Some viewers will still find this far too long, and they won't be convinced that it is worth their time, but it's a fascinating look at different aspects of local government. There are scenes that show co-operation with the local police, scenes that show traffic management, and a variety of meetings. One such meeting is considering a proporal to increase the enrolment numbers for a local school, although that will also lead to the school requiring more space. This is a big headache, but also (as almost everyone speaking on it notes) a good problem to have. It all stems from the school doing such a good job. Another meeting has some business owners meeting with local residents who are voicing their concerns and opinions about the nature of the new business premises being proposed. This highlights the importance of open and informed dialogue, while some present also try to make a case for further meetings and dialogue with local citizens who have been unable, for a number of reasons, to attend the meeting. There's also a sequence that shows someone trying to help a man who may have a rodent problem, but what starts off as a simple evaluation of a pest control situation soon reveals much more about the life and health issues of the man trying to keep his home as a habitable space for himself.

Whatever you think about recent events, and wherever you believe yourself to be aligned, politically, City Hall is a heartening look at what happens when people keep remembering that they are elected to serve the people who voted them into their roles. The real value of the political process comes long after the campaigning and sloganeering. It's the work that is done by people working together for the common good. Many seem to have forgotten that lately, whether they're voters or actual politicians. City Hall is a timely reminder. I cannot think of a better time to watch it.

8/10

Sunday, 10 May 2026

Netflix And Chill: Burnt (2015)

Do you remember when Chef was released back in 2014? It was a delightful little film about someone rediscovering their passion for the thing they do best, and it seemed to have been made by someone rediscovering their passion for the thing they do best. There were moments of fiery anger, and moments of frustration, but it delighted many viewers because it was, at heart, a very sweet and optimistic tale about reconnecting with loved ones, and the world at large, via a passion for food.

Burnt came out a year later. Whatever the intention, and I may be a bit kinder towards it now that I know Steven Knight is one of two people who helped to co-write the screenplay, it feels like a cynical and soulless attempt to rework Chef. If that film was the comforting plate of Cubanos, this is a more expensive plate throwing various ingredients together in a way that simply doesn't make you salivate. There's probably some infused foam on the side.

Bradley Cooper plays Adam Jones, a chef who once had the world at his feet. He disappeared though, after burning many bridges with his addiction issues and his bad behaviour. Now he's back. That doesn't mean that everyone will forgive him, and he still has some debts to pay, but he wants to put a team together good enough to help him get a third Michelin star. Looked at favourably, this is a film about someone figuring out how his behaviour affects others, and how everyone needs to help one another on a journey for perfection. But it's really just about a chef who spectacularly ruined his reputation and career now believing that he deserves to be crowned as one of the very best of the best.

Knight and Michael Kalesniko get a lot of the kitchen chatter right, and they mix in enough mildly interesting characters to help the 101-minute runtime pass by quickly enough. They falter when it comes to the passion though. One or two moments try to remind us of why great chefs love to cook, but they don't work. It's much more believable to simply view Cooper's character as a bloody-minded and hyper-focused narcissist who is ready to throw a tantrum any time things don't go perfectly for him.

It's notable, although perhaps entirely coincidental, that this is the last feature film directed by John Wells, who has spent most of the last decade helming episodes of some fantastic TV shows (including the highly-praised The Pitt). Maybe he also wanted some time enjoying meals made with love instead of meals made to boost someone's ego. Again, it may just be entirely coincidental.

Cooper is fine in the role of Jones, I guess, but is unable to soften him enough to make him a central character that you really care about. Things will either go well or not. Either way, it never feels as if he is the one with the most to lose. Sienna Miller plays a very capable chef, Helene, who suffers throughout the movie by becoming more and more like our lead. Other chefs are played by Omar Sy (who is pretty great), Sam Keeley (who doesn't get enough to do), and Matthew Rhys (playing a discontented rival). Daniel Brühl is good in the role of Tony, the man who ends up bank-rolling the latest restaurant and team of staff, but he allows himself to be far too easily used by someone he should have said good riddance to a long time ago. Uma Thurman is sorely underused, as is Emma Thompson, Alicia Vikander, and Lily James, and, perhaps worst of all, none of the featured dishes ever look like stars in their own right.

The famous saying goes that "if you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen", but Burnt proves that you may want to stay out of that area if you also can't stand anything lukewarm and lacking any real flavour. The supporting cast all try hard enough to save this from being a complete waste of your time, but they can't overcome the problem of such an uninteresting core premise and central character. Chef made me hungry for both the food and the passion on display throughout. Burnt made me want to avoid over-priced and over-complicated menus made by narcissistic technicians who often forget simple pleasures in their pursuit of what they perceive to be greatness.

4/10

Saturday, 9 May 2026

Shudder Saturday: Heresy (2024)

With a runtime of approximately one hour, Heresy (aka Witte Wieven, which translates to "white women") is a great example of a film made by people who know what they want to say, then proceed to do so without overstuffing the thing with a number of unnecessary tangents and diversions. It may have been part of a series of Dutch TV movies, but it doesn't feel restricted or undermined by the standard limitations of the medium. (such as budget, permissible content, etc.)

Anneke Sluiters is Frieda, a woman unable to conceive a child. It must be all her fault, of course, and nothing to do with her husband, Hikko (Len Leo Vincent). Which leads to Frieda inevitably diving off into the woods and meeting some demon women who may help her in her battle against a patriarchy that wants to condemn her for being apparently infertile.

Written by Marc S. Nollkaemper and directed by Didier Konings, two individuals who don't exactly have the most experience in their respective roles (although Konings has worked on some huge movies in the fields of art and/or special effects), Heresy keeps things simple, doesn't shy away from showing the main supernatural elements, and aims for a satisfying and entertaining third act, as opposed to something ambiguous and maybe more focused on atmosphere. Almost every film can be read in multiple ways, it's all only ever a complete piece when taken in and processed by each individual viewer, but Heresy feels like a tale happy to be accepted as literally as possible. The standard horror isn't anything to be questioned here, which leaves viewers free to keep questioning the violence and repression on display, connecting it to common abuse and attitudes still sadly prevalent today.

Sluiters is very good in the main role, and it's good to see her enjoying some moments in the finale after so many scenes of pain and upset. Vincent is also good, especially as his character clearly views himself as someone trying to be helpful and kind, when he's very much the opposite of that. Some people will be uncomfortable at how familiar the main elements seem, despite the time period, and that's absolutely the point.

Still, despite the relatively brief runtime, the film still feels slightly ill-suited to one hour. I believe it could have benefited from being either expanded or further trimmed, giving audiences the chance for an even more atmospheric and thought-provoking journey on the one hand, or a fast and frenetic "thrill-ride" on the other. This is good enough as it is, but may have been even better in a different format.

7/10