For It Is Man's Number

Monday, 5 January 2026

Mubi Monday: The Ugly One (2013)

I have seen some other films from director Eric Baudelaire, including the one that feels strongly connected to this one, but I cannot say I have formed any solid opinion of him yet. That's mainly down to my own ability to receive and digest what he's putting out. Baudelaire tackles some very weighty subject matter, and he does so in a way that doesn't spoon-feed viewers. That's admirable, in many ways, but it can leave anyone at a loss if they haven't done enough "homework".

The Ugly One is actually a more accessible film, and Baudelaire somehow manages to fill it with intelligence, emotional intelligence, and a playfulness that doesn't ever unsettle or undermine the very serious themes being addressed.

Making use of narration by Masao Adachi, who also helped to work on the screenplay with Baudelaire and one of his stars, Rabih Mroué, what we see here is an examination of the relationship between Michel (Mroué) and Lili (Juliette Navis) as they try to help one another, try to reckon with their own pasts that are perhaps not as totally left in the past as they could be, and explore their ties to areas that have been troubled by war and turbulent political changes.

While I cannot say what is complete fiction here and what is part of some meta-narrative, that is no bad thing. The film forces viewers to consider how we are all changed by every major event in our lives, sometimes in ways that make it impossible to get back to the person you once were. While most viewers won’t have experienced whatever these main characters have experienced (I hope), it’s easy to recognise the absorption of numerous traumas and see how a build up of scar tissue over scar tissue can help someone develop a tough shell that is as stifling as it is protective.

Mroué and Navis are both superb, as is the delivery of the narration by Adachi, and all three central performers feel as if they are occasionally baring parts of their souls in order to help make this so impactful and unforgettable.

While there were times when I was worried that this would leave me too far behind as conversations made use of details and context that I wasn’t fully aware of, I never became disengaged. It might seem dry, and more like an exercise than a narrative feature in the first act, but I was dragged in, and held firmly, by the strong emotional strands running throughout.

8/10

If you have enjoyed this, or any other, review on the blog then do consider the following ways to show your appreciation. A subscription/follow costs nothing.
It also costs nothing to like/subscribe to the YouTube channel attached to the podcast I am part of - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCErkxBO0xds5qd_rhjFgDmA
Or you may have a couple of quid to throw at me, in Ko-fi form - https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews
Or Amazon is nice at this time of year - https://www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/ls/Y1ZUCB13HLJD?ref_=wl_share

Sunday, 4 January 2026

Netflix And Chill: A House Of Dynamite (2025)

Whatever I end up thinking of them, a new Kathryn Bigelow film is always something I look forward to watching. She tends to make films that refuse to provide easy answers for people. She tends to make films specifically for adult viewers. A House Of Dynamite is very much of a piece with the rest of her filmography.

The plot is quite simple. People in the White House Situation Room are soon made aware of a very worrying situation. There's apparently an ICBM heading towards the USA, due to hit Chicago in about 20 minutes. After figuring out whether it's real or not, everyone is out on high alert as they come up with various scenarios, and maybe even one or two ways to take the missile out of action. The main people involved in some frantic conversations are a duty officer, Captain Olivia Walker (Rebecca Ferguson), the Secretary of Defense (Jared Harris), a Deputy National Security Advisor (Gabriel Basso), General Anthony Brady (Tracy Letts), and, of course, the President (hidden away for most of the film, but most will be able to recognise the voice before seeing him appear onscreen).

While he was a number of other screenplays under his belt, this is a marked step up in quality for writer Noah Oppenheim, who feels as if he has recently found his sweet spot with fictions based on many real scenarios he would have been very aware of during his tenure as president of NBC News. Teaming up with Bigelow, who has excelled in recent years with films that often feel like docu-fiction, but without ever losing that movie magic, is a win win for both.

It's hard to pick any individual highlights from the fantastic cast assembled here, but the final scene for Jared Harris certainly underlines his emotional turmoil as things look to go from bad to worse. Ferguson is great, as ever, and Letts is superb, seeming to relish the structure of the whole thing (we watch things play out, then jump back about 20 minutes to watch them from another POV, and then jump back again to follow someone else, learning a bit more each time while the missile continues to fly through the air). Basso is fine as the younger man trying to convince everyone to let cooler heads prevail, and there is room for many familiar faces throughout the supporting cast, including Anthony Ramos, Moses Ingram, Greta Lee, Jason Clarke, Willa Fitzgerald, and Kaitlyn Deaver, not to mention the star who plays POTUS.

It may not be as good as her last feature, the phenomenal Detroit, and there will be many who dislike the ending (one designed to keep you discussing the film for some time after it has finished), but this shows Bigelow handling busy and dark material with her usual steady hand and mastery. Whether or not you want to make it a priority on your viewing schedule just depends on whether or not you're in the mood for a drama that looks at what would happen if someone decided to launch a surprise attack on the USA. Considering the recent news cycle, it's hard to decide on just how far-fetched that idea is nowadays.

8/10

Saturday, 3 January 2026

Shudder Saturday: A Desert (2024)

The feature directorial debut from Joshua Erkman, who also co-wrote the film with Bossi Baker, A Desert is an intriguing blend of neo-noir, horror, and something that should appeal to fans of Rob Zombie (specifically his work showcasing the Firefly family).

Kai Lennox is Alex, a photographer who ends up staying at a motel where he encounters Renny (Zachary Ray Sherman) and Susie Q (Ashley Smith). Things don't go well, which leads to Alex's wife, Sam (Sarah Lind), hires a private investigator, Harold Palladino (David Yow), to retrace his steps and find him.

Interspersed with moments of surrealism, a nightmare atmosphere that keeps the firm with one foot planted in the horror genre while the rest of it stays firmly in thriller territory, A Desert may not be entirely successful with what it's trying to do, but that's only because it's never as focused as it could be. Characters are given some time and space, but still don't get enough. We get to know a bit about Alex, not much though. We get to find out the real faces behind the everyday (thin) masks worn by Renny and Susie Q, but only a glimpse. We feel Sam's worry and frustration in relation to the situation, but she is mostly defined just by that. The closest we get to someone fully fleshed-out is Harold, a mix of past failures and present weaknesses, but somehow still doing the job he was paid for when he gets away from any distractions.

The cast is a very mixed bag, which doesn't help. Sherman and Smith are so good that they show up those who can't match them, which is particularly obvious in the scenes they have with Lennox. Lind isn't given as much to do, although she does okay, and Yow is a bit too low-energy when the third act needs him to work in line with the heightened energy of things spiralling towards a climax. He's not bad though, just never seeming ready to act with any real haste.

For all the faults of the film, in terms of the varied performances, the scenes that seem to bulk out the 103-minute runtime unnecessarily, and the disappointingly vague nature of some key moments, it's a strong enough debut from Erkman to make him someone worth keeping an eye on. He shows a good ability to heighten the darkness and horror of what could have easily been a pedestrian and tame thriller premise, and there's something impressively Lynchian about the details he chooses to focus, as well as the atmosphere he creates in the moments that are building up to a sudden outburst of violence.

It's hard to recommend this to others, it is unlikely to fully satisfy thriller fans or horror fans, but it should definitely work for some people as it worked for me. And I'll be very interested in whatever comes next from Erkman, even if he uses this feature as a connection to some other tale in similar territory.

7/10

Friday, 2 January 2026

A Matter Of Life And Death (1946)

It's been well-established for a long time that we Brits like to talk about the weather. A Matter Of Life And Death actually goes as far as allowing some weather to save the life (or delay the death anyway) of our main character. That's probably the only thing I can say here that might not have been said already in the multitude of reviews and essays telling you how good this film is. It's been hailed as a classic, one of the best British movies of all time, and rightly so.

Peter Carter (David Niven) is a British wartime airman who jumps out of his damaged plane with a parachute pack that he knows won't work. It's very foggy when he jumps though, which is why he isn't immediately scooped up to the afterlife by Conductor 71 (Marius Goring). That should be rectified soon enough, but there's a wrinkle. Carter has fallen in love with the American woman (June, played by Kim Hunter) who spoke to him over the radio when death was imminent. Arguing that he has other responsibilities and context now, Carter doesn't want dragged into the afterlife. He starts an appeal process, but the odds seem stacked against him.

Co-written and co-directed by the mighty Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger, two names known to anyone who is a fan of classic cinema, this was another film I had long been meaning to check off my watchlist, but also one I never seemed to be in the mood for. Silly me. The thing about so many films that are spoken so highly of, and with such fondness, is that they actually tend to work their magic on you any time you get around to them.

Powell and Pressburger are rightly regarded as legends of cinema, and this glorious blend of the fantastical and the grounded, showcased by a very effective choice to have the time in our reality shown in Technicolor while the heavenly sequences are in gorgeously crisp black and white, is easy to consider as one of their very best, if not their absolute masterpiece. Like some other titles from this decade I could mention, the magical premise proves to be a great way to deliver a powerful message about the human experience, and all that it encompasses. Everyone deserves praise for bringing this vision to life (especially those who helped to create a giant escalator showcased in the third act), but I must highlight the contributions from editor Reginald Mills, cinematographer Jack Cardiff, and composer Allan Gray.

Despite being about a decade older than the age of his character, Niven is the perfect, and perfectly charming, lead. He delivers one of the all-time great "keep calm and carry on" British performances in cinema history. Hunter is very good opposite him, believably moved by the circumstances and the man to fall in love so quickly and strongly. Goring is a lot of fun in his role, which could have easily been played in a number of different ways (I did wonder if he was going to turn menacing and dangerous at some point), and both Roger Livesey and Raymond Massey relish their scenes in the finale that have them opposing one another in the case to decide Carter's designated date of death.

I can understand people being put off by the unrelentingly stiff-upper-lipped nature of a few of the main characters, one character passes a message along that is literally just "what ho!" at one point, but I would encourage everyone to just accept the language and mannerisms and let themselves be carried along through a cinematic experience that feels both unabashedly epic and also cosy and personal.

10/10

Thursday, 1 January 2026

I Swear (2025)

What's this? It's me starting off 2026 with one of my absolute favourite films from 2025, and I cannot overstate how highly I recommend this to all.

I Swear is a biographical drama that tells the story of John Davidson, a man diagnosed with Tourette's syndrome at a young age. Getting that diagnosis doesn't help much though, especially when so many people were quite ignorant of Tourette's syndrome back when John was trying to just have a normal life. Helped by a friend's mother who ends up essentially adopting John as another son, and a boss/colleague who sees the good-hearted and hard-working young man behind the tics and swearing, John is eventually motivated to share his story with more and more people, aiming to remove the stigma of his condition and educate the masses.

There are a few other features from writer-director Kirk Jones that I would recommend, he generally tends to offer feelgood fare, but I Swear is the best thing that he's done so far, helped by the material and some superb casting. Most viewers will undoubtedly find themselves going through a wide range of emotions (it will certainly make some people laugh and cry in equal measure), but the other main strength of the film is how it encourages empathy and will have people considering the full repercussions of living with a condition that makes every day a battle against the involuntary actions of your own mind and body.

To ensure that I give him due credit, Scott Ellis Watson deserves a good amount of praise for his heart-breaking and brilliant portrayal of Davidson in his childhood years. It would be the performance to talk about, if not for the fact that Robert Aramayo then takes on lead duties with what I consider a flawless performance. Aramayo shows all of the emotions that run through his head, whether his body and mind are in sync, or whether they are at odds with one another, as is more often the case. Aramayo is also easy to like, and does well with the wry humour that is allowed throughout to keep the whole thing entertaining and enjoyable, in between the more difficult scenes. Maxine Peake is also great, playing the surrogate-mum Dottie Achenbach, and Peter Mullan is a treat as the man who gives John his first proper job, as well as the idea to inform others about his condition. Shirley Henderson takes on a tougher role, playing John's actual mother, Heather, a woman at a loss with what she sees as a problem in her son that he won't try hard enough to fix, and it's another performance in line with pretty much every great turn she's given over the past few decades. Others are onscreen, and nobody puts a foot wrong, but those four performances deliver the full heart of the film.

I went into I Swear hoping to like it, but that's nothing new for me. I was wary, however, because of times when the marketing seemed to be making promises that the film itself wouldn't be able to keep. Everyone who saw it was raving about it, and it was being touted as a new beloved jewel in the crown of British cinema. It turns out that all of the praise was absolutely justified. Navigating some treacherous territory, it hops around tonally with a confidence and purpose that helps any individual moments to feel jarring alongside anything else here. It also helps that viewers are reassured by an opening scene set in the modern day that they know will come along eventually, no matter what hardships Davidson endures on his way to a moment of joy (and maybe just one moment of peace).

10/10

Wednesday, 31 December 2025

Prime Time: Royal New Year's Eve (2017)

Why did I decide to watch this? Simple. It was new year's eve, and this film obviously has some tie to that day. That's really the only reason to watch this.

Jessy Schram plays Caitlyn Enderby, a woman who is kept busy in her job by her demanding boss, Abigail Miller (Cheryl Ladd, and, just in case it's a detail added to ensure that people stayed awake throughout the film, I am sure that I saw her name spelled as Abigayle at one point). Abigail is the head of a high-fashion magazine, Applique, and she is looking forward to hosting some royalty at a major new year's eve party, where Prince Jeffrey (Sam Page) is rumoured to propose to Lady Isabelle (Hayley Sales). Caitlyn meets Prince Jeffrey when he's just trying to enjoy some time in the sity as Jeff, and the two get on very well. She also ends up showing off a dress of her own design that gets Lady Isabelle very interested, much to the chagrin of Abigail, who wants the party to serve as a springboard for her daughter's career.

With the steady hand of Monika Mitchell directing this and the experienced writer Rick Garman very much aware of the various plot beats that need to be hit on the way to the fairytale happy ending, it's hard to be too critical of Royal New Year's Eve for doing pretty much exactly what you expect it to do. When it comes to the many movies made in the past few decades about someone catching the eye of a stifled-by-duty royal then this isn't, on paper, much better or worse than any other.

The big problem is the cast, although it's not entirely their fault. Schram is an inoffensive and sexless lead, Ladd becomes a very tame Disney villain at times, and Nicole LaPlaca tries hard in the thankless role of the pleasant daughter not actually wanting her mother to use any sneaky and morally-dubious tactics in order to give her career a push. Crystal Balint is very good as the friend/colleague named Doris, and gets some decent moments in the second half. Page and Sales, however, have to spend their time delivering their lines in horribly fake English accents. Sales manages to at least stay consistent in her accent, but Page feels like he's overthinking every word, and even takes an occasional mis-step into Scottishness with one strange utterance in a coffee shop. As for Andrew Kavadas, playing a manservant named Barnaby, he's somehow quietly menacing in almost every scene, despite his character being nothing but quiet and pleasant throughout.

I didn't hate this, but I did spend quite a bit of time gently mocking it as things moved from one predictable moment to the next. Despite the focus on the looming new year's eve party, most of the set dressing is committed to making everything bright and Christmassy, which helps it to sit alongside the other comforting distractions of the season. If you can tolerate some of the accents, and the fact that Page looks like some mushed-together blend of Mark Ruffalo and Billy Zane, then you might enjoy this more than I did. I doubt anyone would consider it a good viewing choice though, even compared to other Hallmark movies filling up the schedules around this time of year.

4/10

Tuesday, 30 December 2025

A Scottish Christmas Secret (2025)

Another year, another Christmas TV movie that tries to make Scotland look like a gorgeous winter wonderland full of ruggedly handsome, yet sensitive, souls. Not that Scotland isn't a gorgeous place anyway, as I am wont to tell people whenever I get the opportunity. But it's always odd to see the hunger that people have for entertainment that presents the unabashedly tartan-covered shortbread-tin version of the place.

Nathan (Alex Trumble) is an author who is struggling to finish his popular book series. He is struggling so much, in fact, that he's decided to spend most of his time working as a ski instructor. His publishers are worried, but they don't want to turn up and apply pressure in a way that could spectacularly backfire. The head of the company (a cameo from Patsy Kensit) thinks she has a great plan, however, when she decides to send her sister/co-owner, Tiffany (Caprice Bourret). Tiffany takes her nephew, Logan (Jett Bourret Comfort), and the two soon become won over by the Scottish landscape and people.

There's not much in the filmography of director Graham Pritz-Bennett to show any particular aptitude for this material, and it's the first screenplay by writer JJ Moon to be turned into a feature. Judging them only by this, I would have to say that I'd prefer not to see either of them rush back to this kind of thing. Hampered by one or two of the stars, they present something that has painfully unfunny comedy moments, a complete lack of charm, and a seeming determination to keep reminding viewers of how cheap it all is (e.g. the scene with snow falling down on just one particular part of the frame whenever a character is shown from a certain angle).

Bourret (who will be known to many UK viewers from the days when she was just labelled Caprice) isn't a very good actress, despite now having appeared in over a dozen features. Mind you, she may be available at favourable rates as long as there's also a role for at least one of her children (Comfort being her son in real life, and this isn't the first time he's appeared alongside his mother). It might seem rude to say that at least the youngster is a bit better onscreen than his mother, but at least I'm not then spending too much time complaining harshly about a child. Trumble is okay, I guess, but a bit of a non-entity, especially when sharing scenes with the slightly more charismatic Dominic Watters.

I have said it many times before, and will undoubtedly say it again (usually during the Christmas season), but watching a bad Christmas TV movie, something properly lifeless and somehow more cynical, is a hell of a way to realise just how good so many of the other Christmas TV movies are. While you may not revisit many, and may not even watch half as many as I do, seeing films at the shoddier end of the spectrum, like this one, really makes you appreciate even the minimal levels of care and professionalism present in so many others. So I guess I am saying that the best way to view A Scottish Christmas Secret is as a guide on how not to put together a Christmas TV movie.

3/10

Monday, 29 December 2025

Mubi Monday: Pirates (2021)

It's always a big deal when it comes to making plans for new year's eve. Especially when you're young, and especially when it feels like it's the one night when everyone who's anyone ends up at what is destined to be THE hottest parties. It was an even bigger deal as 1999 got ready to turn into the year 2000, and this is where we meet the main characters in Pirates.

Two Tonne (Jordan Peters), Kidda (Reda Elazouar) and Cappo (Elliot Edusah) are three best friends. They're also trying to make an impact as pirate radio DJs in their local area. Some changes might be happening soon though, despite some of the trio not feeling ready to move in any other direction. Thankfully, everything can be put on hold as they attempt to get into a big club night party, where Two Tonne hopes to see the new year in with the lovely Sophie (Kassius Nelson). Things keep conspiring against them though.

The debut feature from writer-director Reggie Yates, a British TV personality and actor who has clearly been taking notes throughout his career, Pirates manages to be enjoyably familiar and comforting while also making use of the viewpoint and lives of the leads to avoid feeling stale and redundant.

It helps that Peters, Elazouar, and Edusah are all fantastic in their roles, each one different from the other, but those differences complementing one another in a way that makes their strong friendship feel very easy to believe. Peters is the focal point for most of the narrative, but Edusah has a satisfying character arc, and Elazouar provides many of the best comedy moments. Nelson may be there as the woman motivating Peters, but she does well in the couple of main scenes that she has, Youssef Kerkour is good fun as the wheeling and dealing Uncle Ibbs, and both Rebekah Murrell and Shiloh Coke do well as very formidable young women who refuse to instantly give in and let these young men just get to do whatever they want for the sake of entry to a big party.

Considering his background and experience, it's no surprise that Pirates is soundtracked by a fantastic selection of tunes, many of them matching the energy and taste of our young leads. What is surprising is how well Yates does in balancing humour and heart in a feature that could have very easily been unbalanced by someone with less confidence trying to push harder in any one direction, tonally. It's also good to see someone trying to authentically depict a time period from the past few decades without overloading every scene with references in the visuals and dialogue that smack the viewer in the face while demanding they appreciate every bit of nostalgia being served up to them.

I remember this being quite well-reviewed when it was released, but it seems to have been quickly forgotten in the past few years. It would be a shame if it stayed forgotten. More people should check it out, and then we can all keep doing our bit to ensure it isn't forgotten again.

8/10

Sunday, 28 December 2025

Netflix And Chill: Champagne Problems (2025)

Minka Kelly plays Sydney Price, a young exec who heads to France just before Christmas in order to hopefully finalise a deal that will allow her firm to gain control of a family-owned champagne brand. The owner is rightfully wary, and he would ideally like to find a solution that leaves management in the hands of his son, Henri (Tom Wozniczka). And who is the stranger that Sydney met and had one magical night with when she first arrived in France? Oh yes, it's Henri.

Champagne Problems is a Christmassy romance that feels neither Christmassy enough nor romantic, despite being set in some beautiful French environments. It's not that it's a terrible film, and I think undemanding viewers after a bit of fluff will enjoy it well enough, but it's just disappointingly flat. There's not even a real spark between the leads, making the finale feel more like something engineered purely by someone who knows from the start where the film has to end up.

Writer-director Mark Steven Johnson is a capable enough talent, and he's even been at the helm of a couple of Marvel movies (although he had the misfortune to be with them before the globe-dominating MCU phase of their life cycle), but he doesn't inject any energy into this. I was going to label it as a rom-com, but there's not enough comedy to justify that, and I didn't want to criticise it for not being something that it maybe isn't aiming to be. There is, however, some fun whenever Sean Amsing's character, Roberto, speaks to everyone in his outgoing and entertaining manner. And there's one unexpected fart. Not really a fart gag. Just a fart. How can you sneak that into the plot and not make it funnier? Good on Kelly for portraying a woman who can suffer from wind though.

Kelly tries her best with the material, in fact, and is a big plus. It's just a shame that nothing can be done to lift up something so relatively dull. How can a Christmas romance in France/Paris feel so unspectacular? Wozniczka is handsome and French, as he needs to be, and also tries his best, although he's given even less to work with than Kelly. Amsing is fun, and the supporting turns from Thibault de Montalembert, Flula Borg, Astrid Whettnall, and Xavier Samuel are what you'd expect them to be, nothing more and nothing less. France should be another major character, but it's not showcased as it should be, especially once we've moved beyond the first 10-15 minutes.

Mostly harmless, and I know some have enjoyed it more than I did, but I'm surprised by those who have spoken of it as an unexpectedly enjoyable seasonal offering from Netflix. There's nothing of any substance here. You'd get more satisfaction from eating half a macaron.

4/10

Saturday, 27 December 2025

Shudder Saturday: The Jester 2 (2025)

Because I knew this was coming up on my viewing schedule this month, I made time a few days ago to check out The Jester. It was okay. I might have rated it higher if I was feeling charitable, but I also could have easily rated it lower if in a bad mood, so I think the absolute mid-point was a good rating for it. I'd heard that the sequel was a bit better though, along with comments about not really needing to see the first film anyway, so I was slightly optimistic when I pressed play on this.

That optimism was unwarranted. While I'm not sure if The Jester 2 is worse than the first film, it's certainly not a much better film. Writer-director Colin Krawchuk seems determined to keep this character mired in films that never make the most of his potential. It might help if there were other characters to keep things interesting. It might help to spend more time showcasing The Jester while he's being playful with his victims. I fear it's too late to see any positive changes though. Krawchuk has probably built up some kind of fanbase by now that will deter him from considering ways to improve his creation though. He'll probably be busy thinking up extra gore gags to get his killer jostling alongside Art The Clown in conversations about new slasher icons and memorable kills.

Kaitlyn Trentham plays Max, a young magician who ends up crossing path with The Jester (Michael Sheffield). The Jester needs to collect four souls after performing four tricks for people every Halloween. He loses his mojo, however, after having a trick interrupted by Max, and then ends up tying their fates together. Max has to perform tricks for The Jester, essentially picking a victim for the killer each time. Once she becomes aware of the full situation, Max tries to figure out how to break the cycle.

Sheffield doesn't do bad as the villain here, although he's hampered by having to wear a mask throughout. He's very good when he gets to overdo the gestures and physicality, but those better moments are few and far between. Trentham does well enough in her role to make you wish that she was in a better movie. Jessica Ambuehl plays her mother, not onscreen for long, and Dingani Beza is Willie, one of the few other characters onscreen to not immediately feel like "douchebag due a death scene".

It clocks in at just under 90 minutes, but feels a bit longer, and there's little else worth praising outwith the two central performances. Krawchuk seems to have a talent for some individual moments, as well as some good atmosphere, but he's unable to string things together into a well-paced and satisfying feature. Which I doubt will stop us from getting a sequel to this. I guess the joke's on me.

5/10

Friday, 26 December 2025

A Christmas Story Christmas (2022)

I think we just have to accept by now that A Christmas Story will never be the seasonal staple here in the UK that it is over in America. I have been a fan ever since I eventually made time for it, and I was aware that it was far from the only film to be based on source material written by Jean Shepherd. I became aware of this film a couple of years ago, but was hesitant to make time for it. After all, what could possibly feel like a worthwhile continuation of the original story? Especially after we already had A Christmas Story 2.

Not only does Peter Billingsley return to play Ralphie Parker, now a grown man with a family of his own, he also worked with Nick Schenk on writing the screenplay. I cannot tell you if there was more to source from Shepherd's work, but I can say that this feels nicely in line with the first film.

It's the first Christmas since the passing of his father, and all Ralphie wants to do is make it a wonderful time for his family (wife, Sandy, played by Erinn Hayes, and kids, Mark and Julie, played respectively by River Drosche and Julianna Layne). He is passed along a number of responsibilities by his mother (Julie Hagerty), also spends time trying to become a published writer, and reconnects with some old friends (including Flick, once again played by Scott Schwartz).

Director Clay Kaytis knows what he's doing with this material. Having previously worked on a more modern take on Christmas lore, The Christmas Chronicles, which had the major benefit of being a star vehicle for Kurt Russell, he easily settles into the cosiness of the '70s setting here. It's a chance to make use of some nostalgia (both for the time period and the original movie) and show that, despite the many changes in tech and shopping methods, the pressures of Christmas remain the same for those wanting their families to have the best time. Nothing here is very high stakes, yet we all know that it's a huge deal for Ralphie, which makes it a huge deal for those accompanying him on his journey.

Billingsley does a fantastic job in the lead role, avoiding immaturity while also being helped by memories and callbacks to keep reminding us of the very famous boy he once was. Hayes, Drosche, and Layne are a very enjoyable family unit, Hagerty is a delightful mum (as she always has that certain Hagerty softness as an inextricable part of her personality), and it's great to see Schwartz, RD Robb, and even Zack Ward returning to portray the adult incarnations of their characters they last portrayed back in 1983.

It's different enough from the original movie to avoid feeling stale, particularly when we're now getting the viewpoint of the adult who can still vividly remember his childhood Christmas experiences, but full of references and little details that keep it strongly connected to that holiday classic in all the right ways. It also helps itself by not maintaining a tone that is in line with the first one; funny, gentle, and sweet, even dipping into schmaltz occasionally (which is easier to forgive here when it feels earned).

7/10

Thursday, 25 December 2025

Christmas Karma (2025)

While there are good and bad things in Christmas Karma, one of my favourite things wasn't really to do with the film itself. I was most amused the the potential reaction to the film by red-faced "patriots" who might find their noses put out of joint as they started to moan about "bloody foreigners, coming over here, and repurposing our classic Dickensian Christmas tales." Considering the constant attempts to get everyone worked up over some (non-existent) war on Christmas, and considering the recent extra toxicity surrounding discussions on immigration, asylum seekers, and national identity, Christmas Karma feels almost deliciously well-timed.

You know the story, which means I can just go through the main players. Kunal Nayyar plays Eshaan Sood (uttering "Bakwaas!" as the Hindi/Urdu equivalent of "Bah, humbug!"). Leo Suter and Pixie Lott are Bob and Mary Cratchit, respectively, complete with a set of children that includes a Tiny Tim (Freddie Marshall-Ellis). Danny Dyer is a black cab driver who helps to bookend things, Eva Longoria is the Ghost Of Christmas Past, Billy Porter is the Ghost Of Christmas Present, and, ummmm, Boy George is the Karma Chamel . . . I mean . . . the Ghost Of Christmas Future. Hugh Bonneville is hard to recognise as Marley, Allan Corduner is Mr. Fezzywig, and Charithra Chandran is a lost love named Bea Fernandez.

Adapted from the source material and directed by Gurinder Chadha, Christmas Karma doesn't get off to the best start. It feels a bit clumsy, and may well make others cringe as I did. The songs aren't great, which is an extra stumbling block for a musical, despite the whole thing being worked on by Gary Barlow, Shaznay Lewis (also onscreen very briefly), and Nitin Sawhney, and there are some major weak spots in the casting of the supporting players. Things pick up once Sood is whisked away by the Ghost Of Christmas Past though, and the use of the familiar tale to explore the immigrant experience, as well as wealth disparity, allows for everything to feel like a very worthwhile wander back through this well-trodden path. Then it sadly gets stuck again when Boy George appears and just looks as if he's loitering around until enough people notice that he's sulking.

It's always clear to see what Chadha is aiming for, which makes it even more of a shame when a few of the sequences just don't work, either due to the cast, the staging of a musical number, or just the familiarity of certain moments working against it. While I don't remember any of the tunes right now, there is at least one decent number in the beginning, middle, and end of this. That helps, and it's interesting that it's the more uplifting and celebratory songs that work best, perhaps due to them requiring some more choreography and . . . fun.

It's a bit jarring to see Nayyar playing older than his actual age, and he is unsteady in the earliest scenes when he has to be miserly and mean without viewers seeing any of the background, but the performance really starts to work better once Sood is free of normal laws of space and time. Suter, Lott, and Marshall-Ellis aren't very good, I'm sorry to say, and that makes this particular incarnation of the Cratchit family a bit harder to care for than many others we've seen over the years. Longoria is fun, Porter brings some essential colour and joie de vivre to his role, and Dyer at least feels like a standard cheeky London cab driver. Chandran is very good in her role, aka the one who got away, and there are a lot of cast members with less screentime delivering very good work as they help to show a backstory that involves our lead being forcibly wrenched from his home in Uganda to start life anew here in Britain.

This isn't a new classic, compared to other Christmas movies and compared to other interpretations of A Christmas Carol, but it's a good attempt to mix the old and the new, and the way it reworks the backstory of the main character is admirable. I would rewatch it, but only if others had decided to hijack my TV for a couple of hours.

6/10

Wednesday, 24 December 2025

Christmas Eve In Miller's Point (2024)

Yes, for this one week I moved things around in the blogging schedule. For obvious reasons. So no "Prime Time" choice this week. I'm sure Amazon won't suffer during this busy shopping period.

There are some things I just can't understand about Christmas Eve In Miller's Point. Some of the casting, considering how little they get to do. What Tyler Taormina was trying to do. Why are there two writers and a story editor credited for something that feels as if it could have been greatly improved by letting everyone completely improvise and then just putting together the best snippets from the end results.

The plot revolves around an Italian American family having one last Christmas gathering in a family home. The adults try to continue the family traditions, a number of the younger family members want to head out for a night of fun, self-exploration, and some time away from what can be a stifling environment.

Look, maybe I missed something major here, I'm happy to admit when something has some cultural or social points that I'm not very familiar with, but Christmas Eve In Miller's Point absolutely failed for me. A couple of potentially moving moments are lost in the disorganised and unfocused mess that is the rest of the film, which is a real shame. I think there could have been something impactful here about families only really being there for one another on calendar-mandated holidays, and the younger family members should have stuck around to put up more of a fight before heading out to get up to exactly the kind of nonsense that their parents would exasperatedly roll their eyes at.

Taormina, who co-wrote the film with Eric Berger, presents everything in a natural and grounded style, and he deserves some bonus points for having Christmas decorations that don't just feel as if they were exquisitely placed in each scene by set designers, but he never does enough to convey the real weight that is hanging over the heads of everyone onscreen. That wouldn't be so bad if we instead spent time with some cast members being allowed to shine, but that doesn't happen either.

Matilda Fleming does a good job in her role, as does Maria Dizzia (the two are daughter and mother, respectively, viewing the holiday period through very different eyes), but they're ignored during the times spent bouncing around the other faces. As much as I like her online antics, Francesca Scorsese isn't a good enough actress to make me feel invested in whatever else is going on. It feels as if both she and Sawyer Spielberg were given roles simply to make use of their surnames in the marketing. Michael Cera and Gregg Turkington have a couple of decent moments as two patrolling police officers, but it's distracting to consider Cera in a role that riffs, deliberately or not, on his famous turn in Superbad. Then there's Elsie Fisher, a really talented young actress who is here for no obvious reason, considering how she's sidelined. At least I can mention the younger performers though. The older cast members are all turned into one mass of babbling and mild anxiety, with the exception of Grandma (played by a wonderful Mary Reistetter).

Some might appreciate the feeling conveyed here, the cosy chaos of a large family making their way through a Christmas fraught with emotion and full of long-delayed conversations that are no longer possible to avoid, but I was hoping for a couple of stronger sequences to help me appreciate some of the individuals we were spending time with.

3/10

Tuesday, 23 December 2025

A Very Jonas Christmas Movie (2025)

I am unfamiliar with The Jonas Brothers, but I am more aware of them nowadays than I was 5-10 years ago. I remember hearing a song on the radio that I quite enjoyed and then being surprised to hear that it was one of their hits. I have also been an unwilling reader of showbiz news/gossip about the divorce of Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner. That covers the extent of my Jonas Brothers knowledge. So I had no reason to want to check this out, aside from the fact that it was available to me.

The plot is very simple. The Jonas Brothers want to head home for the holidays. They can't wait to get away from one another, which is a major difference from how they used to feel. But one scheming Santa figures out exactly what they need. They don't want to get home right away. They want to get home while rediscovering that close brotherly bond they once had. Nick Jonas also just wants some peace and quiet, Kevin Jonas wants a chance to sing on a track, and Joe has a reputation that holds him back when he randomly encounters an old friend, Lucy (Chloe Bennet), he has a bit of a crush on.

Written by the talented duo of Isaac Aptaker and Elizabeth Berger (who have done a whole lot of TV work in the past few years, as well as the very enjoyable I Want You Back), the most important thing to consider about this potentially cheesy special is that it's actually quite funny. The Jonas Brothers seem to be very much aware of how they are perceived, both individually and as a band, and they deliver a number of lines that make themselves the butt of the gag, even if it all stays safely within the realms of gentle ribbing, as opposed to anything painfully cutting.

Director Jessica Yu, who previously helmed the enjoyable Quiz Lady (a different kind of road trip/family bond movie), is well aware of the assignment. Things move along briskly enough, there are well-staged musical numbers interspersed throughout the narrative, and viewers feel safe in the knowledge that any and all setbacks are just temporary on the way to an expected happy ending.

As for the brothers, I have to say that I expected them to be a bit more irritating onscreen. They do well with what they're asked to do, helped by the fact that they obviously interact more naturally with one another than they do with everyone else. Bennet is very good in her role, and there are scenes that make good use of Randall Park, Billie Lourd, and KJ Apa, as well as Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Santa), Kenny G (being Kenny G), and Will Ferrell (as a big fan who values the brothers ahead of his own family, who are portrayed onscreen here by his actual family).

Slick, not without the occasional hint of smugness, and with a satisfying message of seasonal goodwill, this is a very enjoyable Christmas special. It might not convert any haters of the band, but you never know. I'm certainly more open to their work than I was before this.

7/10

Monday, 22 December 2025

Mubi Monday: The Mastermind (2025)

There are many things to enjoy in the filmography of writer-director Kelly Reichardt. She has been delivering movies for some time now that seem to find a unique perspective of a variety of different genre staples. The Mastermind is her own particular take on the heist movie (although you could argue that First Cow could also be considered in the same vein). I was eager to see this, especially when hearing some praise for it and knowing that currently hot property Josh O’Connor was in the lead role.

O’Connor plays James Blaine Mooney, a man who figures out that a local art gallery should be quite easy to rob. He cannot do it alone though, and needs to borrow some money from his mother (Hope Davis) as he tries to get the right people in place for the job. As many will already know from other heist movies, however, committing the theft is often the easiest part. Things get trickier when trying to ensure that you stay free and unobserved while trying to offload the loot.

A deliberately loose and jazzy film, in stark contrast to the many heist films that focus on precision and constant forward momentum, The Mastermind may appeal to those who settle into the vibe of it, but it ultimately proved disappointing for me. Reichardt wants to build a little bit of tension, but also wants to show how pointless the whole thing is the grad scheme of things, especially as the 1970 time setting allows for her to show many people busy protesting the ongoing Vietnam War. Inspired by some classic films and a real art robbery that took place in the early 1970s, Reichardt delivers a film that is inarguably in line with the rest of her body of work. It just doesn't really work as well as other times she has given her own interpretation of traditional genre fare.

O'Connor is very good in the lead role, although I think he's being inevitably carried along by the heat and energy of the spotlight on him right now. He's definitely an interesting and captivating lead though, and his delicate and precise mannerisms help to make the film more interesting than it otherwise might have been. Both Sterling Thompson and Jasper Thompson are a delight as his young sons, and I'd nominate them as real standouts ahead of almost anyone else in the cast. Alana Haim continues her film acting career here, playing Mooney's wife, despite having yet to prove herself the best choice for any of the roles that she's had thus far, and Bill Camp and Hope Davis excel in the few scenes they have, portraying the mother and father of our main character. Eli Gelb, Cole Doman, and Javion Allen are hired to help commit the crime, although none of them really make any strong impression, and John Magaro and Gaby Hoffmann are friends who may be necessary accomplices/allies after the heist.

I cannot fault the technical side of things here. Reichardt has a fantastic eye. The score by Rob Mazurek is also wonderful, perfectly in line with the bobbing and weaving nature of the narrative. I seem to be in the minority with my lack of love for this. I liked elements of it, but never felt immersed enough in the world to care about where things would go after the enjoyable opening scenes. Mooney is either too naive or too stupid as a criminal "mastermind" (and I understand the title and tag being an ironic one), but the film gives us too many real consequences for others caught up in his orbit to make it easy or satisfying to laugh at his constant lack of preparation or criminal savvy.

5/10

Sunday, 21 December 2025

Netflix And Chill: My Secret Santa (2025)

Taylor (Alexandra Breckenridge) is a struggling single mother who wants to be able to pay for her daughter, Zoey (Madison MacIsaac), to attend ski lessons at a local resort. There's an employee discount available, which would help, but they're not hiring. Well . . . they ARE looking for a Santa. Getting herself disguised as a man, Taylor is soon suited and booted for the role. As if it wasn't difficult enough to keep pretending she is a man during work hours, things are further complicated by the fact that Taylor starts developing quite the connection with Matthew (Ryan Eggold), her acting manager.

I decided to watch My Secret Santa because I really like Breckenridge, but she seems destined to never get that big movie role that I think she deserves. You might look at this movie and see another nail in her career coffin, but I'm going to defend it. So get yourself ready.

Written by Carley Smale and Ron Oliver, who have a wealth of experience between them, this is the blend of farcical quick-change and Christmas schmaltz that you'd expect, and it helps that director Mike Rohl has experience with this mix, considering he helmed all three of The Princess Switch movies. As you might have already surmised, this is essentially a low-budget gender-flipped riff on Mrs. Doubtfire, with a lot of extra snow and ho ho hos. I don't view that as a bad thing.

As ridiculous as the main premise is, Breckenridge does a decent job in the main role, whether she's in her natural guise or being Santa. Eggold gets to enjoy being the businessman blissfully unaware that Santa is actually the woman he has taken a liking to, and it's good to see his character not forced into any extremity for the sake of a contrived emotional journey. His development and maturity has basically all happened before the film starts, leaving us to focus on the one or two lessons that Breckenridge needs to learn. MacIsaac is a decent teen, as is Sasha Rojen (a bit of a bully who could become a friend, if given the right guidance). Tia Mowry is the no-nonsense woman who smells a rat in between her times unwillingly showing Eggold's character the ropes of his father's business, and Diana Maria Riva gets a couple of good moments as a tough neighbour softened by an unexpected encounter with Santa.

I wouldn't recommend this to anyone out of season, as it were, and I'm not sure who I would recommend it to right now, but I would recommend it to some. It's ridiculous, absolutely, but it's ridiculous in just the right ways. Anything mentioned in the earlier scenes ends up being referred back to in the third act, our lead character has a couple of people able to help her create such a convincing Santa disguise, and there are a couple of fun scenes that show someone being flustered and confused as she navigates around a number of new locations (including a men's locker room) that she would much rather avoid.

6/10

Saturday, 20 December 2025

Shudder Saturday: Influencers (2025)

I really enjoyed Influencer. I didn't think it needed a sequel though. I wasn't even sure it would be possible to create another story for any of the main characters. Writer-director Kurtis David Harder was sure though, and the end result here shows that he was right to be sure.

The whole thing starts with a woman at the end of her rope. She has a knife. She uses it. Her phone starts ringing. It's then time to reunite with the entertaining psycho known as CW (Cassandra Naud), who is now happy in a relationship with a woman named Diane (Lisa Delamar). It would seem to be only a matter of time until her history rears up to bite her on the ass though, especially when Madison (Emily Tennant) becomes more determined to track her down and make her pay for everything that transpired in the first movie.

I don't want to make the mistake of over-hyping this, to anyone else or myself, but Influencers is pretty damn great. It's not only another enjoyable bit of time spent with leads who were so good last time, but it's a genuinely fantastic sequel. Is the premise plausible? Not really. Harder gives us enough details to make it seem so though, even if we only need to suspend our disbelief for a short time until all of the main players start being moved around and manipulated on the way to a very satisfying and thrilling third act.

I wish I'd been able to make time for a repeat viewing of the first movie before moving on to this, I suspect the two together makes for a hell of a good evening of entertainment, but you do get a bit of a recap once Madison comes back into the narrative. You just have to be patient during a lengthy opening sequence that ends up proving vital in setting up plot points and details that will recur later on like breadcrumbs along a path leading to a very dark and very dangerous copse in the very middle of a forest.

Naud remains a compelling presence, helped by a script that allows her to dance from playful to deadly within any scene. Tennant is equal to her, and it's interesting to see her character being picked apart and ruined by the same people who used to idolise and envy her. Delamar is an interesting addition, and her role casts a surprisingly long shadow over the proceedings, and there are turns from Veronica Long, Georgina Campbell, and Jon Whitesell that are, by turns, hilarious and awful.

Considering how unlikely this instalment was, it's testament to Harder's guiding hand that I now want a trilogy, at the very least. I'd settle for either Deinfluencer, Under The Influence, or INFLUENC3. Mr. Harder, take it away. There's a lot of gold to still be mined here, considering the huge supply of potential victims all easily made vulnerable by someone preying on their vanity, and the whole thing could end up being the most satisfying killer thrillers of the social media age. Hashtags and bodybags go very well together.

8/10

Friday, 19 December 2025

Tinsel Town (2025)

It's no surprise to find that Tinsel Town is directed by Chris Foggin. He's done comforting family-friendly fare a few times now, and has at least one other Christmas movie under his belt. The surprise comes from the fact that this formulaic bit of fun needed at least three main writers, as well as additional material from three other contributors (apparently). Maybe that's why it's so inconsistent though. Some of the expected scenes fall flat, but a few moments really hit the spot. And I was pleasantly surprised to find the panto moments actually feeling like panto moments.

Kiefer Sutherland stars here as Bradley Mack, a movie star who has coasted along on the success of an action movie franchise for some time now. He's not viewed as a great actor though, nor as a great human being. In fact, he's lazy, entitled, and about to crash back down to earth when his agent send him for a theatre gig in England that is actually panto in a small village. There's no way out of it. Bradley can't afford the price it would cost to wangle out of the contract he signed without reading it. So he ends up grumpy in the company of Cassandra (Meera Syal), Jill (Rebel Wilson), a pair of ugly sisters (Asim Chaudhry and Jason Manford), among others. On the plus side, he can spend some quality time with his young daughter, Emma (Matilda Firth). If he can stop being so selfish and self-pitying for long enough.

There's certainly fun to be had here. The lead character being bamboozled by his English village surroundings, and the very notion of panto, allows for some chuckles, as does the occasional angry outburst. There's even an effective musical number for Sutherland, while his character is in his full costume for Buttons, his panto role. The expected transformation of our lead isn't handled very well though, it's more a series of sudden turnarounds than a gradual journey to a much better place, and a few elements feel like they should have some more impact on the plot. Danny Dyer is a local bad boy, Kieran, who antagonises people, but could have ultimately been left out of the movie. The same goes for a minor sub-plot about a number of local burglaries, which may or may not have been sanctioned by Kieran.

While Foggin directs well enough, the awkward screenplay leaves everything in the hands of the cast. Sutherland is a big plus in the main role, and game enough to fully embrace his panto turn (once his character finds out that there's no way out of it), Katherine Ryan has a few fun moments as the angry agent, and young Firth does well as the child who retains faith in a man that many others have long since given up on. Derek Jacobi also brings something special to the project, especially in a key scene that explains how someone can keep the theatre at the heart of their life. Wilson isn't so good, to put it mildly. Not only is she stuck delivering a standard dramatic turn, she's also required to do so (for some reason) with a Yorkshire accent. It's not a great delivery, and that choice feels like it could have been easily swerved with one explanatory line of dialogue. Chaudhry and Manford are fun, Lucien Laviscount and Savannah Lee Smith are pleasant enough, and Dyer does what Dyer does. Alice Eve and James Lance are sadly wasted though, and it's a shame that the actual Yorkshire setting isn't given more of a supporting role.

The good just about outweighs the bad, but it's a very close call. The extra writers seem to have tried to overstuff the runtime, the cast could all have been given pages for at least three very different films, and there's a disappointing lack of full-on Christmas sweetness for the majority of the runtime. It really nails that panto atmosphere at times though, and the final scenes are sweet, funny, and rewarding. Which means it should at least leave you with a smile on your face as the end credits roll.

5/10

Thursday, 18 December 2025

Sister Krampus (2021)

When you are struggling to think up a title for your cheap Krampus movie then you can just add some kind of family connection. Krampus has been a mother, a granny, and now a sister (although the use of the word sister here is tied to the fact that one central character is a nun). And very few of those incarnations were actually good.

Rebecca Rinehart and Marie DeLorenzo are Mary and Jodi, two sisters travelling around parts of Europe on holiday. They encounter a nun (Danielle Donahue) one day, soon being informed that she is not as friendly as she appears. She is, in fact, Sister Krampus, a being out for revenge since suffering horrible abuse at the hands of some American soldiers many years ago.

Directed by Anthony Polonia and Mark Polonia AKA The Polonia Brothers, this is a film very much in line with many others they have helmed. It's very cheap, it's full of many scenes that just feel like filler, and there's a role for their regular collaborator, Jeff Kirkendall. If you have dived into the waters of independent horror movies, especially those that make use of certain buzz-words in titles that don't necessarily have anything to do with the actual films, then, for better or worse, you will be aware of The Polonia Brothers. This is far from their worst work.

Mark Polonia also co-wrote the screenplay with Orville Buttress, based on an idea by Ron Bonk, a producer who seems to have been "inspired" to share his story ideas many times throughout his career, but I suspect a helping of rambling improv could have been better than this weak dialogue. You might remember one or two things about this after the end credits have rolled, but the screenplay is unlikely to linger for more than a minute.

Rinehart and DeLorenzo aren't terrible. They're just not very good. That hasn't stopped others having a long and enduring acting career though. Speaking of which . . . Kirkendall continues to be a strangely welcome presence, despite his many obvious limitations. Donahue has to look intense and irked, and does fine, and Yolie Canales does very well as a brusque, but ultimately helpful, woman named Ezmirelda.

Like many Polonia Brothers movies, this is cheap in a way that seems to revel in the cheapness. It's all very amateur hour, but lacks the charm and appeal of something made by someone who has tried hard to make their one and only movie, probably because these film-makers are nearing their one hundredth feature.

I've STILL seen worse, but I doubt many others who stumble across this would be able to say the same. It's bad. Not incredibly painful, but definitely far down the tree when it comes to ranking holiday horror movies.

3/10

Wednesday, 17 December 2025

Prime Time: Merv (2025)

When is a Christmas film not a Christmas film? Despite the argument that crops up every single year about Die Hard (and don't start me on that again, people forget how many Christmas seasonal elements are in there as they argue against it), many movies are put forward as holiday treats without actually leaning in to the cheer and cheese of the season. Merv is one of those movies. It's not entirely tinsel-free, but there's a lengthy middle section that takes place in an area of Florida that is a far cry from any desirable winter wonderland.

Zooey Deschanel is Anna Finch, a woman who has recently ended a serious relationship with Russ Owens (Charlie Cox). They try to stay civil, for the sake of sharing the custody of their beloved dog, Merv, but it's tough. It gets tougher when Merv is diagnosed with depression. Russ decides to take him away to a doggy resort in Florida, but the trip becomes just a little bit more tense when Anna joins them. Will they be able to "fix" Merv, or will that only happen if they find a way to fix themselves?

Written by the husband and wife team of Dane Clark and Linsey Stewart, this is an enjoyable enough comedy drama that just doesn't do enough of what viewers may be wanting. The Christmas-tinged scenes are there, but few and far between. The rom-com stuff (or maybe it's more appropriate to refer to it as anti-rom-com stuff) doesn't come across as effortless or charming. So you're really left with a film that you will love or hate based on your reaction to Deschanel, Cox, and seeing lots of pampered pooches onscreen. There are lots of dogs wearing clothing in this film, and if that doesn't seem sweet to you then you should probably swerve this. (it's my partner's pet peeve, no pun intended, so she was rolling her eyes and swearing more than expected while we watched this).

The good news is that Deschanel and Cox are both fine in the lead roles. The bad news is that they're not used as well as they could be. They're stuck in an awkward place, working around one another as they focus on their dog and often avoid the real worries and fears occupying so much of their headspace, but one or two sequences (one involving some fun and dancing, the other getting to the heart of why they separated) hint at a better film hidden away here. Ellyn Jameson is another dog owner who takes a liking to our male lead, which makes him consider how much he is struggling to move on, and she does so well with the friendly and flirty conversation that viewers may be tempted to watch the film head in a completely different direction. Patricia Heaton and David Hunt are parents who are dutifully visited during the holiday season, and Chris Redd and Jasmine Matthews are friends who know what is best for our leads (as dictated by the movie anyway) before they eventually figure it out for themselves.

Director Jessica Swale does a serviceable job, but she feels as hampered as her leads. This is a film right in the middle, neither leaning into every trope nor pushing back against them in a way that could have considerably livened things up. The only thing it gets absolutely right is the cuteness of the main dogs, which means major bonus points for animal lovers. Everyone else will be likely to feel slightly disappointed by the time the end credits roll.

5/10

Tuesday, 16 December 2025

Granny Krampus (2024)

If you look through the respective filmographies of writer Christopher Jolley and director Jack E. Bell then you will see many choices that make it inevitable that they could work together on a film like Granny Krampus. And if you have seen any of the (many) other cheap Krampus movies we've had over the past couple of decades then you should know what this delivers.

Lea (Jodie Bennet) and Ashley (Poppy Castleton) are two sisterns who visit their gran (Hilary Burns) after the death of their mother. There's some tension in the air, considering how the family members have been estranged from one another for so long, and there's also a family secret due to be revealed. One that, given the title, you won't be surprised to find out involves a Krampus figure, known as Frau Percht. Charlie (Mark Rush) and Daniel (Tom Marchant) turn up in time to be endangered as things build towards a very "bah, humbug!" final act.

This isn't good. But many people who have already viewed many other Krampus movies will already know that. It's not actually terrible though, and certainly not as bad as I expected it to be. I don't want to spend too much time being impolite about the cast members, but most of the acting here is sub-par. That's one of the main aspects of the film that constantly reminds you of the low budget. Rush and Marchant benefit from being given some fun lines in the weak screenplay, but Bennet and Castleton have no such luck, and Burns is, there's no nicer way to say it, frankly awful.

Unlike other films that make use of the K-word in their title though, this actually gives a decent bit of screentime to the featured creature, and there's at least an attempt to make it look better than just someone in a cloak and cheap mask, even if it still may actually BE that, in essence. There are individual moments that are shot decently, considering Bell is trying to deliver some thrills while also hiding some of the many shortcomings just out of frame. It's not enough to make this worth recommending to those after some full-blooded holiday horror, but I appreciate that some effort has been made. It's more than can be said for many other movies in a similar vein.

As much as people may refuse to believe it, despite me saying it often enough, I always try to remain optimistic as I start watching any film. I even approach every independent Krampus-centric horror movie with the hope that it could be the one independent Krampus-centric horror movie gem that makes up for the sewage I have had washing over my eyeballs during past holiday seasons. This is not a gem, but it's also not a complete turd. And sometimes I feel that my optimism is rewarded if I've miraculously avoided another complete turd.

I debated rating this lower because of the acting, but I decided to be relatively generous, considering the careless and lazy trash this could have been.

4/10