For It Is Man's Number: August 2011

Sunday, 28 August 2011

Fire Down Below (1997)

First of all, let me just say that I was annoyed to find out I had missed Under Siege 2 in my exciting quest to view every Seagal movie in chronological order. That will be the next viewing and then normal service will resume. But for now ........

........

Yes, the child in me went into this movie secretly hoping that it was a film all about Steven Seagal suffering from cystitis but I knew that was unlikely to be the case. Instead, Seagal puts himself once again in the role of environmental warrior (as he did in On Deadly Ground).

The pony-tailed one plays EPA officer Jack Taggart, sent out to a small community that is being poisoned by a local big shot (played by Kris Kristofferson). While he’s there, Jack befriends a local man (Harry Dean Stanton), gets close to a local lady (Marg Helgenberger) and divides the rest of the populace right down the middle. As he starts causing more problems for the greedy polluters he starts putting himself in a lot more danger.

Director Felix Enriquez Alcala has a filmography chock full of TV work but he doesn’t do all that badly with his movie work. It’s a lesser Seagal movie but it’s still quite a distance removed from the worst that the man has starred in.

Jeb Stuart and Philip Morton provide a predictable and uneven script (it’s part ho-down sappiness and part gritty action flick with neither aspect really satisfying for viewers).

Thankfully, the cast has some great actors in there. Seagal isn’t one of them but he is Seagal so that’s that. Kristofferson is enjoyable if a bit too polite in the role of the big, bad polluter. Helgenberger gets by on likeability more than any great characterisation and Harry Dean Stanton is always a welcome addition to any movie but it’s Stephen Lang who steals the show as the brother of Helgenberger’s character.

Watch it, enjoy it and never feel the urge to seek it out again.

5/10

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Friday, 26 August 2011

The Skulls III (2004)

The second sequel to The Skulls (as I’m sure you already gathered from the title) improves slightly on the previous movie thanks to one significant difference – the protagonist this time around is female.

Clare Kramer plays Taylor Brooks, a determined and smart young woman who finds a loophole allowing her to be considered for acceptance by The Skulls, a secret society that’s not really all that secret. If you have seen the previous movies then you know the drill by now – someone gets to join The Skulls, things become a bit strained, deceit and/or death occurs, everything goes sour for the new recruit, a plan is hatched to fix everything and cancel the lifetime membership.

J. Miles Dale directs this time and he does just what you’d expect with a second sequel to a middling teen thriller. Joe Johnson’s script tries to surprise but savvy viewers will always know exactly what’s coming.

Kramer isn’t too bad in the lead role and her character is easier to root for than the previous protagonists as she overcomes extra adversity and discrimination due to her gender. Bryce Johnson sneers capably enough, Steve Braun is just fine in the role as supportive fellow Skull newbie and Dean McDermott and Maria del Mar are both pretty bad as two detectives trying to solve a case that is revealed as the movie progresses (the main character is telling her side of things to the police as the movie gets underway). Barry Bostwick fans may be pleased to see . . . . . . . . . . Barry Bostwick in a prominent role. He does okay but it’s more of a fun performance than anything remotely realistic and believable.

The Skulls III shouldn’t exist but it does and it’s actually quite watchable. It’s not really all that good but it’s not really all that bad either. Which is why it gets such an average rating.

5/10

Thursday, 25 August 2011

The Skulls II (2002)

A sequel to the teen movie that revolved around a secret society that seemed to be the world’s worst secret, The Skulls II almost slavishly follows all of the rules governing how to make a lesser sequel. No stars but a leading man who looks a bit like the leading man in the first movie? Robin Dunne looks enough like Joshua Jackson in a certain light to tick that box. A plot that covers similar ground to the first movie, and includes a number of scenes that feel like carbon copies, while missing any tension and excitement this time around? Yep, that box is ticked. A further lack of care for anything resembling consistency and/or plausibility? Ohhhhh yes.

Robin Dunne plays Ryan Sommers, a young man who gets received into The Skulls but who doesn’t really care for their traditions and rites. He’s only there because his older brother (played by James Gallanders) was there. When Ryan spots what he thinks is a fatal accident it isn’t long before The Skulls are doing what they seem to do best – covering up mischief, ruining lives and blackmailing everyone that they have to.

There’s just nothing of interest here for those, like myself, who didn’t think that the first movie was more than one or two steps above average. We get one gratuitous bit of T & A but nothing more to make the film as “sexy” as it seems to want to be, the twisted situation spiralling out of control isn’t as well handled here and the actors just aren’t as good. Dunne doesn’t really have the charm for the lead role, though he tries admirably, but Lindy Booth brightens up the screen whenever she’s on it and Nathan West and Aaron Ashmore portray their characters with satisfying smugness and more than a hint of menace.

A couple of people wrote the lacklustre script before Joe Chappelle decided to direct the thing without any hint of enthusiasm for the material. In fact, as unbelievable and stretched as the central concept is I’d have to say that I was most disappointed with a second half that piled conspiracy theory cliché upon cliché before turning its back on many of the rigid rules set out from the opening of the first movie.

4/10

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

The Skulls (2000)

This teen thriller about a powerful secret society hidden within the walls of a top Ivy League institution is a lot of fun despite (or perhaps because of) the fact that it starts off being quite unbelievable and just gets more and more implausible with each scene.

Joshua Jackson is the young lad with no family fortune who finds himself lucky enough to be joining “The Skulls”. His friends, played by Leslie Bibb and Hill Harper, don’t view this as a good thing. “If it's secret and elite, it can't be good”.

There is one fellow being initiated at the same time (played by Paul Walker) who thinks it is a good thing indeed . . . . . . . . until something goes a bit wrong and it starts to become clear just how far-reaching and powerful this secret society really is.

Written by John Pogue, and directed by Rob Cohen, The Skulls has a decent cast and lively pacing to carry an audience through the preposterousness from start to finish. This is a secret society that has a large symbol stuck on top of a main building. It’s a secret society easier to infiltrate and mess with than Wikipedia entries. For goodness sake, its members are BRANDED. But part of the fun to be had from this movie is derived from laughing at those involved. The film may want to sell itself as some sleek teen thriller but, really, it also points and laughs at those who will go to ridiculous lengths just to join some exclusive club that will have them as a member.

Joshua Jackson, Leslie Bibb, Paul Walker and Hill Harper are all good enough in their respective roles but the real treat for film fans comes from having support from Craig T. Nelson (brilliant as the ruthlessly ambitious father of Paul Walker’s character), William Petersen and Christopher McDonald. Steve Harris is also excellent as Detective Sparrow.

Nothing to seek out and see immediately, The Skulls would fit the bill if you were stuck indoors on a rainy evening and it came on TV. Arguably more entertaining for all the wrong reasons than for all the right ones, it’s still entertaining.

6/10

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Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Poltergeist III (1988)

That spooky, nasty reverend Kane is back (this time played by Nathan Davis after the death of actor Julian Beck) and he still wants Carol Anne, despite the fact that she now lives in a sleek, ultra-modern highrise building with her uncle and aunt (Tom Skerritt and Nancy Allen). Thankfully, this big building has lots of mirrors and reflective surfaces that can become portals for Kane’s particular brand of evil.

You can try to be all deep and meaningful about it and put it this way – Poltergeist was about the insidious nature of television and how too much exposure to it can literally eat up the life of your child, Poltergeist II: The Other Side was about the family unit and how important and difficult it was to stay united against outside pressures and obstacles, Poltergeist III is about the perils of complete modernisation that leads to alienation and far too many opportunities for wrongdoing. Or you could just say that Poltergeist was a great ghost flick, Poltergeist II: The Other Side was a decent ghost flick with a definite baddie to focus on and Poltergeist III was the movie that went back to the well one time too many.

The acting is okay from all involved but everything is undermined by a poor script (that should have simply been titled “Carol Anne” due to the number of times that her name is called out) and mediocre execution. Director Gary Sherman (who also shares the blame for co-writing the thing) seems happy to go along with everything that is wrong with many modern horror movies. You know what I mean: people keep running off alone, nobody seems to notice while lots of other folk disappear, one jump scare is repeated so often that it ends up being ineffective, etc.

It’s a shame that this was the last movie for young Heather O’Rourke (her death after this movie completed a trio of deaths that people referred/refer to as “The Poltergeist Curse”) because it’s just not a very good film. On a lighter note, it’s the first film gig for a young Lara Flynn Boyle so fans may want to check it out for that reason.

There are still a few decent moments here and there but, overall, this is a poor end.

5/10

Monday, 22 August 2011

Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986)

I used to love Poltergeist II when I was young. I thought it was even better than the first movie. Now, with the benefit of age and wisdom (okay, okay, just with the benefit of age then), I can see a lot of the flaws it has and how it pales in comparison to the first movie.

Almost all of the main cast members return (with the exception of Dominique Dunne who was, tragically, killed by an abusive ex-boyfriend not long after the release of the first movie) for the continuing tale of a family plagued by supernatural events. This time around they have help in the form of Taylor (Will Sampson) as young Carol Anne (Heather O’Rourke) is targeted by crazy Kane (Julian Beck, who died of stomach cancer after this film was completed). The Freeling family must stick together as a unit to battle the forces working against them.

It seems kind of churlish to complain about a lack of believability in a sequel to a movie that revolved around a little girl being taken by ghosts into a TV but that’s the biggest failing of this sequel. It’s also not helped by an uneven tone that fails to blend horror and humour as effectively as the first movie did and, instead, just has one or two impressive moments left among a number of other scenes drained of any tension due to a mix of lacklustre execution and overused humour. This time around, the Freeling family (Craig T. Nelson and JoBeth Williams as the father and mother, in particular) don’t seem particularly terrified by everything going on around them. While I appreciate that this time around they’re seeing spookiness that’s not entirely new to them I still think that they should have been more shaken up.

Michael Grais and Mark Victor return to the writing duties, with Brian Gibson taking a turn in the director’s chair, but this movie is saved by the cast and one or two great special effects moments (just keep your eye on that tequila worm as one prime example).

It’s not a bad movie at all but, unsurprisingly, it’s not as good as the superb original.

6/10

Sunday, 21 August 2011

Poltergeist (1982)

A classic tale of suburban horror, Poltergeist is just one of those films that most people of my generation saw 101 times during the 1980s, and deservedly so. It’s a polished thrill-ride of a movie, an entertaining horror film that mixes humour in with the scares and blends jumps with atmosphere (and some great special effects) for a fantastic package. To many true horror fans it may be viewed as “horror-lite” but it’s pretty bloody good horror-lite.

The Freeling family are a normal, everyday American family. Mum and dad look after two daughters and a son and breakfast revolves around the usual minor squabbles and family disputes. Things change when they find that their house has some strange power within it, something that starts off by harmlessly moving furniture (and people, when placed in the right spot). The harmless soon becomes a nightmare, however, when young Carol Anne disappears and her voice is heard coming from the TV. Energy and strange activity builds in the house and the Freeling family have no choice but to call in some specialist investigators to help them with their unique problem.

Based on an idea by Steven Spielberg (who also produced the movie), Poltergeist is directed by Tobe Hooper but you’d hardly be able to tell that. Hooper hasn’t exactly held himself up as a master of cinema, with the exception of his phenomenal horror movie that revolved around a certain chainsaw-wielding maniac, and all of the main choices here just look like they were made by Spielberg. The shots of suburban Americana, the wonderful score by Jerry Goldsmith, the smooth and quick push-in shot up to a character’s face, etc, etc.

But just who did what behind the scenes is irrelevant anyway, when it comes to the viewing experience. What matters is just how enjoyable the thing is. The cast are all fantastic. JoBeth Williams and Craig T. Nelson remain likeable and believable throughout experiences that grow increasingly far-fetched. Heather O’Rourke is angelic and wholly innocent as Carol Anne. Oliver Robins is great as Robbie, the middle child, and Dominique Dunn is just fine as the eldest, the one who fully realises how crazy everything is and just wants to get the hell out of the house ASAP. Everyone else onscreen is just fine but James Karen deserves a special mention as an unscrupulous businessman and Zelda Rubinstein will always be remembered for her turn as Tangina.

Followed by two inferior sequels, and referenced in many other films and shows, Poltergeist remains a top-notch haunted house movie and is as entertaining today as it was back in 1982, when it was first released.

8/10

Saturday, 20 August 2011

The Glimmer Man (1996)

This time around the gruff and slap-happy Steven Seagal is a cop paired up with Keenen Ivory Wayans as they race to apprehend a serial killer known as “The Family Man”. Seagal has inner peace and outer hardness while Wayans is the standard cynical cop with a good heart (illustrated by the way he cries at Casablanca, obviously). Seagal also has a murky past, connected to a ruthless character (Brian Cox) who may know something about the serial killer. In fact, some people begin to suspect that Seagal may actually BE the serial killer.

While it’s not really a buddy-cop movie and not really an all-out martial arts flick, The Glimmer Man is an entertaining blend of the two. The exchanges between Seagal and Wayans are amusing enough and the fight scenes, when they pop up, are energetic and well done.

Director John Gray has the benefit of working from a decent enough script (by Kevin Brodbin) and getting a few key players in some supporting roles. Seagal and Wayans may headline this movie but Brian Cox steals every scene that he’s in and Bob Gunton is very enjoyable as a rich, rich man used to getting his own way.

It’s definitely not an essential viewing but Seagal fans will be happy to know that this is one of the better movies from what was, surely, the peak period of his career.

6/10

Monday, 15 August 2011

Festivalitis.

"Gather round, gather round, make plenty of noise and the crowd will get bigger and bigger".
It's that time of year in Edinburgh again.
Pretty people look at pretty sights and buy pretty much anything that physically represents their visit to the capital of Scotland. I went to "The Athens Of The North" and bought this cuddly Nessie wearing a kilt. Of course.
The streets are awash with leaflets and leafleters.
People wait to be entertained while entertainers wait to entertain enough people. It's funny how everyone seems to reach their creative peak at a time of year when it could prove most profitable.
If a clown is rendered speechless by the madness of it all does he automatically become a mime?
"See our show, see our show".
See one, see them all, see none at all. See the crowds in your way as you try to get home from work. See the stewards shepherding tourists into organised groups and police walking about looking as if they care. It's the time of year when you walk during the daylight in a mass of eager faces and walk at night around broken glass, broken spirits and broken dreams.
"If everyone applauds at the same time then nobody looks stupid".
Jugglers keep juggling as they have done for so long, now joined by comedic contortionists and hula hoopers. The entertainers seem to get younger and younger every year, or maybe that's just me getting old.
A bigger proportion of the acts seem to get worse every year, or maybe that's just me getting old.
Famous faces sit beside hopeful unknowns. But not for too long.
"This is a free show, ladies and gentlemen. Free to get in but not necessarily free to get out".
Everything doubles in price. Who knew that ice cream was such a precious commodity? The grandeur of the buildings and natural geography overlook all of this grubby money-grabbing, this tawdry attempt to bilk tourists for all they're worth and then wait another full year to do it all over again.
But don't get me wrong.
I still love it.
"Here comes the hat, here comes the hat. If you've enjoyed yourself today then do spare some change".

Friday, 12 August 2011

Executive Decision (1996)

Part action movie, part intelligent thriller, Executive Decision remains Steven Seagals most interesting film for a number of reasons. For starters, it’s one of the few films he has starred in that ISN’T “a Steven Seagal film” (he pretty much plays second fiddle to Kurt Russell in their few scenes together). Secondly, it’s . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . well, to say any more would potentially spoil an enjoyable thriller for those yet to see it.

There are some damn nasty terrorists (led by David Suchet) doing nasty, terrorising things yet again and this time they’ve taken over a large airplane and are negotiating the release of a prize prisoner. But that may be a cover for something much more dangerous, at least that’s what intelligence analyst Dr. David Grant (Kurt Russell) thinks. A plan is proposed that involves a dangerous mid-air transfer, led by Seagal, and the retrieval of the plane from the terrorists. Dr. Grant will have to go along to advise on the situation but if anything goes wrong he may have to do more than just think on his feet.

Written by brothers Jim and John Thomas, Executive Decision is not a film to watch just for quick action thrills and no-brainer fun. It has some smarts and takes time to build up the situation and show every stage of the big rescue attempt. That’s why I hated the movie when I first saw it many years ago. Having recently rewatched the thing, I like quite a bit more than I did back then but it still drags in places.

Director Stuart Baird does okay. He may not have made an all-out action classic but this is a prime “Tom Clancy” type of movie from someone who deserved to go on to more than just U.S. Marshals and Star Trek: Nemesis.

The big bonus points come from the cast. Seagal is pretty good, though fans will be disappointed by his limited screentime, Russell is a favourite of mine, Halle Berry puts in one of her more enjoyable performances as an air stewardess who could prove invaluable, David Suchet makes a great baddie and then we have some wonderful moments from people like John Leguizamo, Joe Morton, Oliver Platt, J.T. Walsh and a teeny tiny part for Mary Ellen Trainor (arguably best remembered nowadays as the psychiatrist exasperated by Martin Riggs in the Lethal Weapon series).

It’s a bit too slow for action junkies and a bit too dumb, occasionally, for those wanting a smart thriller but Executive Decision certainly tried hard to get the mix of brainpower and firepower just right and there will be plenty of people who enjoy it more than I did.

6/10.

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Monday, 8 August 2011

The Informers (2008)

Directed by Gregor Jordan and based on the work of Bret Easton Ellis (who helped to write the screenplay with Nicholas Jarecki), The Informers is far below other adaptations of the writer’s works (American Psycho, The Rules Of Attraction, Less Than Zero) but it’s not a terrible film.

There are a number of story strands running throughout the movie (some more entertaining and successful than others) all covering a variety of sins. There’s a debauched rock star, an unfaithful husband, a bad father, some carefree youths who keep themselves busy with sex and drugs and some other unsavoury characters. The details end up being rather inconsequential though the viewer can savour every little moment onscreen while events are unfolding, this movie feels more like a mood piece capturing a snapshot of 80s excess and exuberance on the cusp of being ruined by the encroaching harsh realities (the long-term effects of drug use, AIDS, etc). It’s very much along the same lines as The Rules Of Attraction with those involve neatly sidestepping to focus on the parents instead of the children, without audiences even noticing.

There’s a great cast. Billy Bob Thornton, Kim Basinger and Winona Ryder all hold their own in the best story strand but there’s able support from Mickey Rourke, Brad Renfro, Amber Heard (who spends an impressive amount of her time onscreen in a state of undress and, yes, yes I am shallow enough to have enjoyed the movie more because of this fact), Lou Taylor Pucci, Austin Nichols and Jon Foster.

There’s also a pretty good soundtrack accompanying the sleek visuals.

The film only really lets itself down in terms of structure and cohesion, but that’s a big failing. Ellis himself has expressed displeasure with the way the thing turned out but I think artists close to their own work can sometimes be their own harshest critics so I’ll have to repeat that The Informers is not a terrible film. It’s no modern classic, and perhaps someone else in the director’s chair could have made something better of the material, but it’s enjoyable enough and features some fine actors giving fine performances. And a hint of vampirism. And Amber Heard. Mostly naked.

6/10

Sunday, 7 August 2011

Fertile Ground (2010)

Starting off with some unpleasantness that makes you get your hopes up for what’s to come, Fertile Ground quickly turns into a predictable, disappointing horror movie full of nothing more than lame jump scares. It’s like a mix of The Amityville Horror and Rosemary’s Baby without the atmosphere, quality or technical accomplishment of either.

Nate Weaver (Gale Harold) and his wife, Emily (Leisha Hailey), move out to an old family estate to start a fresh period of their life after a traumatic experience. Nate is eager to get back into his painting while Emily gets busy making the house into a home and, of course, finding bits and bobs that hint at a dark past. Her paranoia and concerns are made worse when the full history is revealed to her by local man Avery (Chelcie Ross).

Co-written and directed by Adam Gierasch (who also provided horror fans with the enjoyable Night Of The Demons remake), Fertile Ground contains all of the major failings of modern horror. The acting is okay, I guess, but everything else is severely lacking. No logic, no tension, no atmosphere, nobody to really care about (Emily just doesn’t do enough to get herself out of the house before things get too “scary”) and not even enough gore and nudity to at least please viewers on a shallower level.

The fact that the movie is interspersed with a number of unnecessary title cards, making it feel like some strange offshoot of Frasier, doesn’t help either. Nope, this is one to avoid.

3/10