There's no real question about what Fountain Of Youth is, but there is a lack of clarity about who it belongs to. Is it the film of director Guy Ritchie? Perhaps writer James Vanderbilt would want to claim some ownership. And star John Krasinski is certainly given a role that makes the film feel like a star vehicle for him. Maybe we should just ignore these people, however, and spend some time instead acknowledging those who gave us the National Treasure movies and (of course) Indiana Jones.
Krasinski plays Luke Purdue, a man who we first meet escaping pursuers while trying to keep hold of a painting that doesn't belong to him. It may not belong to those pursuing him either, but it's established that Purdue isn't too bothered by pesky things like security measures and legal recriminations as he aims to get his hands on various paintings. This isn't the best news for his sister, Charlotte (Natalie Portman), who happens to have an important role in a large art gallery. One hijink follows another as we learn that Luke and his crew (Patrck and Deb, played by Laz Alonso and Carmen Ejogo, respectively) have been tasked by a mega-rich individual (Domhnall Gleeson) to find a mythical fountain of youth. Some people don't want it found though, and the main one running interception is the dangerous and lovely Esme (Eiza González), allowing for a number of scenes in which both she and Luke fight one another while engaging in surprisingly ill-timed flirty banter. Oh, Charlotte also ends up letting her young son (Benjamin Chivers) tag along, and there's a determined cop (Arian Moayed) also on their tail.
Hugely derivative, tonally odd, and with a level of smarm and predictability that ensures you will know the ending even as the opening credits play out (especially if you've watched any of those Indiana Jones movies . . . and if you watch any of those instead of this then you have chosen wisely), Fountain Of Youth also relies almost completely on the appeal of Krasinski, who is allowed to dance through the events of the film as if wearing some cloak of invulnerability. His character has no depth, he never really takes anything as seriously as he should, and he is as selfish and careless as his sister accuses him of being. BUT, and I'll admit that this was unexpected, I did end up enjoying a lot of his patter, for want of a better word. There are a number of other actors who could have done better in this role, but it feels a bit more fun because of it being a bit of a step away from the other movie roles that Krasinski has had in the past decade.
It may also be a fact that Krasinski seems better in comparison to the rest of the cast. González is also good fun, no complaints there, and young Chivers has a few good moments, but everyone else is pretty bad. Alonso and Ejogo aren't given enough to do, sadly, Moayed is as misplaced as the tone, Gleeson is forced to play someone usually seen in a 1980s cartoon series, and Portman suffers while being forced to play the wet blanket (although, as mentioned above, she's proven to be quite correct in her disapproval of her brother's actions).
Neither the script nor the direction have anything helping to define their creators. Vanderbilt seems to have done no more than watch a pile of better movies that he then threw into a mental blender and poured into a book titled "Dan Brown Plotting For Dummies". The set-pieces generally work well though, and Ritchie helps out there with his handling of all the moving parts, but even those are shaded with a feeling of something just being a bit off, probably due to the light-heartedness of the "antics" while real blades are being swished around and real bullets are being fired at people. This is a movie with a bodycount that tries to make use of the adventuring and charisma of the main character to distract you from the fact that it has a bodycount.
In case you didn't notice, I have to end this review by saying that I did still manage to enjoy this. It was a fast food film. I enjoyed it while it was on, as derivative and predictable as it was. I won't ever watch it again, and there's a part of me that thinks I should jump in the shower and scrub myself down after writing this, but it was a perfectly serviceable way to spend part of your evening. Nobody excels, but everyone works together to try and help viewers escape reality and have something to laugh at (intentionally, but also unintentionally) for a couple of hours.
6/10
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