Fountain Of Youth (2025)

There's no real question about what Fountain Of Youth is, but there is a lack of clarity about who it belongs to. Is it the film of director Guy Ritchie? Perhaps writer James Vanderbilt would want to claim some ownership. And star John Krasinski is certainly given a role that makes the film feel like a star vehicle for him. Maybe we should just ignore these people, however, and spend some time instead acknowledging those who gave us the National Treasure movies and (of course) Indiana Jones. 

Krasinski plays Luke Purdue, a man who we first meet escaping pursuers while trying to keep hold of a painting that doesn't belong to him. It may not belong to those pursuing him either, but it's established that Purdue isn't too bothered by pesky things like security measures and legal recriminations as he aims to get his hands on various paintings. This isn't the best news for his sister, Charlotte (Natalie Portman), who happens to have an important role in a large art gallery. One hijink follows another as we learn that Luke and his crew (Patrck and Deb, played by Laz Alonso and Carmen Ejogo, respectively) have been tasked by a mega-rich individual (Domhnall Gleeson) to find a mythical fountain of youth. Some people don't want it found though, and the main one running interception is the dangerous and lovely Esme (Eiza González), allowing for a number of scenes in which both she and Luke fight one another while engaging in surprisingly ill-timed flirty banter. Oh, Charlotte also ends up letting her young son (Benjamin Chivers) tag along, and there's a determined cop (Arian Moayed) also on their tail.

Hugely derivative, tonally odd, and with a level of smarm and predictability that ensures you will know the ending even as the opening credits play out (especially if you've watched any of those Indiana Jones movies . . . and if you watch any of those instead of this then you have chosen wisely), Fountain Of Youth also relies almost completely on the appeal of Krasinski, who is allowed to dance through the events of the film as if wearing some cloak of invulnerability. His character has no depth, he never really takes anything as seriously as he should, and he is as selfish and careless as his sister accuses him of being. BUT, and I'll admit that this was unexpected, I did end up enjoying a lot of his patter, for want of a better word. There are a number of other actors who could have done better in this role, but it feels a bit more fun because of it being a bit of a step away from the other movie roles that Krasinski has had in the past decade.

It may also be a fact that Krasinski seems better in comparison to the rest of the cast. González is also good fun, no complaints there, and young Chivers has a few good moments, but everyone else is pretty bad. Alonso and Ejogo aren't given enough to do, sadly, Moayed is as misplaced as the tone, Gleeson is forced to play someone usually seen in a 1980s cartoon series, and Portman suffers while being forced to play the wet blanket (although, as mentioned above, she's proven to be quite correct in her disapproval of her brother's actions).

Neither the script nor the direction have anything helping to define their creators. Vanderbilt seems to have done no more than watch a pile of better movies that he then threw into a mental blender and poured into a book titled "Dan Brown Plotting For Dummies". The set-pieces generally work well though, and Ritchie helps out there with his handling of all the moving parts, but even those are shaded with a feeling of something just being a bit off, probably due to the light-heartedness of the "antics" while real blades are being swished around and real bullets are being fired at people. This is a movie with a bodycount that tries to make use of the adventuring and charisma of the main character to distract you from the fact that it has a bodycount. 

In case you didn't notice, I have to end this review by saying that I did still manage to enjoy this.  It was a fast food film. I enjoyed it while it was on, as derivative and predictable as it was. I won't ever watch it again, and there's a part of me that thinks I should jump in the shower and scrub myself down after writing this, but it was a perfectly serviceable way to spend part of your evening. Nobody excels, but everyone works together to try and help viewers escape reality and have something to laugh at (intentionally, but also unintentionally) for a couple of hours. 

6/10

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A Quiet Place: Day One (2024)

Look, I really liked A Quiet Place. It had some great set-pieces, a good core cast of characters, and just the right pacing and plotting to keep you from picking it all apart while it was on. Then came the sequel, which wasn’t as good, but enjoyed major success. And now we have attempts to develop this into a full franchise, which makes me feel as depressed and pessimistic as seeing a film advertised as coming “from the imagination of John Krasinski”.

There's very little to really say about this. It connects in a small way to the second film, but can easily be watched as a standalone "adventure" in this world where silence is golden. Lupita Nyong'o stars as Sam, a woman with terminal cancer and a cat she loves. Joseph Quinn is Eric, a man with no real character or depth (from what I could gather). Once our planet has been besieged by the creatures seen in the two movies preceding this, Sam and Eric eventually cross paths. But will they be able to help one another survive the perilous situation?

Written and directed this time around by Michael Sarnoski (although Krasinski once again helped with the storyline), this is a pretty disappointing piece of work from everyone involved. It certainly pales in comparison to Sarnoski's previous movie, Pig, and it's far down the list of Lupita Nyongo's films. Even Quinn, as relatively new on the scene as he is, looks set to quickly position this as one of his lesser films.

The visual effects are perfectly fine, but I didn't care about them. Some scenes with people in peril are fine, but I didn't care about them. Sarnoski tries to pace things well with a few key set-pieces on the way to the ending, but I didn't care about them. And those last few scenes? You guessed it . . . I didn't care about them.

A Quiet Place is the sort of thing you can get away with once. Keep going back to that well and all you do is draw attention to the flaws and plot holes. It's hard to maintain a vested interest in people when you can just as easily roll your eyes and wonder why they can't just sit still and be quiet until danger has passed them by. It's also hard to know what we already know about the creatures from the first two movies and then watch everyone fail to figure out how to fight back at them.

If it wasn't for Nyong'o here then this wouldn't even make it to the level of average. She's as good as ever, working hard in material that feels far beneath her. Quinn tries hard when sharing scenes with his phenomenal co-star, but he constantly comes up short, and isn't helped at all by a script that doesn't seem to know how to properly develop and nurture his character.

If you're after something that has the basic elements in place and does the bare minimum to trick people into feeling entertained for a while then knock yourself out. If you're after something that has actual tension and impact though then I'm afraid that you have to look elsewhere.

4/10

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Prime Time: DC League Of Super-Pets (2022)

While I don't consider myself any kind of expert on the vast history and array of comic books, I am aware that super-pets have been a thing for some time. Which makes this animated movie an obvious choice for those wanting to appeal to younger viewers wanting to continue, or begin, their journey through the landscape, one full of masks and capes, that has dominated the box office for most of the past decade. It should be an easy enough recipe, and it is, but it's a shame that those involved didn't add just a bit more flavour.

Dwayne Johnson voices Krypto, the pet dog of Superman (voiced by John Krasinski). All seems to blissful, until Superman starts to think more about making plans with Lois Lane (Olivia Wilde). Meanwhile, a group of animals living in a shelter are far removed from bliss. Those animals include a dog named Ace (Kevin Hart), a guinea pig named Lulu (Kate McKinnon), and a few others we will get to see more of as the story plays out. Take some kryptonite, the fact that Lulu wants to impress the man who once ran tests on her (Lex Luthor, voiced by Marc Maron), and a bit of soul-searching, and you have the movie. Krypto loses his super-powers, but Ace and friends gain some, which leads to them trying to resolve some issues that will get in the way of them working together as a team.

Co-directed by Sam J. Levine and Jared Stern, who also co-wrote the screenplay with John Whittington, this is strangely better than I expected it to be, yet also full of unrealised potential. If the writers had found a way to focus on the animals without even needing (super)human characters involved then it may have been a much more enjoyable experience, able to play around in the DC universe without feeling attached to anything else. Sadly, the other characters are given some time, even if it is limited in comparison to the animals. And there's a cameo at the end of the film that is both sad and hilarious for a reminder of the hubris that Dwayne Johnson had in 2022.

Johnson and Hart are both fine in their roles, both managing to use nicely intertwine their onscreen personas with the essence of their canine characters, and I cannot think of any of their many film collaborations that I have completely disliked. McKinnon is great fun as the nefarious Lulu, an evil mastermind contained within a decidedly non-evil-looking guinea pig physique, and Maron makes a very good Lex Luthor (so much so that I think he'd be great doing it in live-action form). As for the other main animals, you have Vanessa Bayer, Natasha Lyonne, and Diego Luna having a lot of fun in their roles (playing, respectively, a potbellied pig, a short-sighted turtle, and a very nervous squirrel), and cameos from Keith David, Thomas Middleditch, and Ben Schwartz to listen out for. Krasinski and Wilde do fine, but the other superheroes are entertainingly voiced by Jameela Jamil, Jemaine Clement, and, best of all, Keanu Reeves (who is a surprisingly great fit for the Batman voice).

Younger viewers will enjoy the animal antics and silly jokes. Older viewers will enjoy the voice talent. I don't think anyone will enjoy everything about it though. The animation style is cute, but not on par with the seemingly effortless brilliance from other studios, the plot is as predictable as it is ultimately inconsequential, and it's the kind of thing you can watch and rewatch as a harmless distraction, rather than any beloved classic. 

But hey, no matter what I have said here, it still probably sits above most of the live-action DC features we've seen in the past few years.

6/10

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IF (2024)

I don't have anything against John Krasinski. I quite enjoy the work of John Krasinski, especially when he is onscreen in the right roles. But I was as surprised as most people when IF was marketed as being "from the imagination of John Krasinski". I didn't think that John Krasinski was known for his wild imagination. It turns out that I was right, and IF is actually the work of someone disappointingly unimaginative.

Cailey Fleming plays Bea, a young girl who is going through a hard time. Her father (John Krasinski) is in the same hospital where her mother lived her last days, she is back living with her grandmother (Fiona Shaw) for a while, and may well have already left her childhood innocence behind. Until she meets the upstairs neighbour, Cal (Ryan Reynolds), who is busy dealing with a load of personalities that nobody else can see. Well . . . nobody else except Bea. It's time to meet a string of Imaginary Friends (IFs) and figure out a way to reunite them with the adults who have long forgotten them.

The idea of IF isn't bad. It's not original either, of course, but it isn't bad. I saw the trailer months ago and figured it might be the kind of thing to keep me easily amused. That wasn't the case, sadly, and the blame lies squarely with Krasinski, who decides to go for the schmaltziest option at every turn, and plots the story out with a complete lack of that imagination that viewers were told about in the marketing. There were moments here that had me rolling my eyes and wondering how Krasinski could have thought he was filling the screen with great ideas.

Rules are established, but then thrown away as soon as it doesn't suit. Characters are presented with the sole purpose of being bright and weird (based on the idea of kid's creations, which I get, but you need more than that, especially with such an excuse to go as wild and whacky as possible), and nothing feels as if any one scene leads smoothly and naturally on from the one preceding it.

The cast aren't terrible, but some of them aren't half as good as they should be. Fleming is great in her role, and equalled by young Alan Kim, stealing the few scenes that have him portraying a child in the same hospital as Bea's father, and Phoebe Waller-Bridge once again proves to be an excellent pick for a voice role. Fiona Shaw is made to use some kind of accent, but overcomes that with her natural excellence, and Liza Colón-Zayas does well as a caring nurse. Reynolds isn't used well though, and feels very awkward for every minute of his screentime, and I was disappointed by the voice performances from Steve Carell, Awkwafina, Bradley Cooper, and many of the other stars lending their familiar tones to the many IFs. Some work, and Louis Gossett Jr. is a great fit for the kindly Lewis, but very few of them feel like the best fit.

There's enough here for children to enjoy, especially in a scene close to the halfway point that indulges in a musical fantasy sequence that certainly feels like the kind of scenario a child could easily create in their mind, and that may be enough to keep Krasinski happy. That may well have been his aim, and he'll view this as a success. Sadly, many others will feel disappointed. Some nice design work, a lovely score from Michael Giacchino, and the cinematography of Janusz Kaminski are all wasted on a film that suffers from being a self-indulgent doodle that Krasinski seems to want us all to metaphorically hang on our fridge doors.

3/10

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A Quiet Place Part II (2020)

I really enjoyed A Quiet Place. I wasn't the only one. It was very successful. I'm not sure how many people were wanting a sequel to it though, but here we are. Unsurprisingly enough, a sequel to a film that relied on tension and solid performances to distract you from the plot holes would seem to be an opportunity for more plot holes, considering the need to stretch out an idea that was really ideally suited to one movie. There are good moments in A Quiet Place Part II, but it does nothing to really justify existing, and may in fact cause some viewers to re-appraise just how much holds up in the first film.

After an unnecessary prologue sequence, seemingly designed to show one bit of sign language that will play into the third act, we join the characters who survived the first film. Evelyn (Emily Blunt) and her children (Regan, played by Millicent Simmonds, Marcus, played by Noah Jupe, and one tiny baby) have to move along after their home has been trashed by the alien beasties that stalk their pray by hearing their movements. They stumble upon the shelter of Emmett (Cillian Murphy), and things then jump from one bad decision to the next, mainly due to Regan having the idea of heading to a radio station to use her hearing aid in a way that can broadcast feedback on a certain frequency. Because these aliens are like insecure, arrogant males - they are caused confusion and pain by any kind of feedback.

Back in the director's chair, but this time taking on the writing duties solo, John Krasinski remains a reliable pair of hands. With the direction. It's just a shame that he doesn't take the time to make a sequel that slows things down further and patches up some of the holes in the first film. He instead opens things up, which just makes it easier to weigh up every moment, and every character decision, and find them wanting.

Blunt is once again very good in her role, as she always tends to be, and the younger cast members, Jupe and Simmonds, do a good job, with the latter continuing to be the big plus that she was the first time around. Murphy is also a consistent performer, but feels misused here, a character who is basically being proven wrong about how he has decided to settle for a life of safety and survival. Djimon Hounsou and Scoot McNairy get a few scenes, playing very different characters, and both are just fine.

The thing to admire most about A Quiet Place Part II is the fact that we're once again given a film that encourages people to be completely silent as they listen for, and are wary of, every sound. It's just a shame that the rest of the film is so carelessly constructed, with major injuries dismissed as minor handicaps for characters, reckless decisions that create needless peril for others, and also, perhaps worst of all, one or two main sequences that seem to misunderstand the way a creature could use acoustics to hear any moving prey.

A big step down from the first film, there are still some things to enjoy here (not least of which is the fact that this is a blockbuster horror flick not falling in line with some of the more common trends of the past decade), but you have to work harder to forcibly overlook the stuff that doesn't work.

5/10

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A Quiet Place (2018)

Evelyn Abbott (Emily Blunt) and Lee Abbott (John Krasinski) try to live a simple life with their children, Regan (Millicent Simmonds), Marcus (Noah Jupe), and Beau (Cade Woodward). Regan is deaf, and so the whole family spend a lot of time communicating with one another using ASL. Their method of communication isn’t really a choice though, it’s all down to the fact that they are trying to survive in a dangerous environment that also contains deadly creatures drawn to sound.

Post-apocalyptic in tone, A Quiet Place is an interesting oddity that seemed to surpass many expectations with the level of success it attained in cinemas. It’s a horror film with heart, one that will appeal to anyone seeking some thrills and emotional turbulence to view in the company of loved ones. It may not appeal as much to people wanting better scares, or a decent amount of bloodshed, or a tight plot that doesn’t fall apart under closer scrutiny, but it definitely tries to please most of the people most of the time.

Directed by Krasinski, who also worked on the screenplay alongside story creators Bryan Woods and Scott Beck, A Quiet Place benefits from some very effective lead performances and a few moments of near-unbearable tension. It's just a shame that the level of care shown in those areas wasn't also shown when it came to crafting the backstory to the world we are shown, or even explaining the motivations behind certain behaviours displayed (characters being barefoot is one of the most obvious ones that seems to make sense until you think about it for more than five seconds).

But let's get back to praising those performances. Krasinski is solid in his role, but in some ways he is the least of the leads (not due to his lack of talent, simply due to the way he keeps the focus on the other characters). Blunt is excellent, remaining tough while she becomes more and more vulnerable, due to her state of pregnancy, and Simmonds and Jupe prove to be more than a match for their adult co-stars, and Woodward doing just fine in his smaller role.

It seems obvious to say that the sound design of the film is an essential component, but it's also strange to have to admit that it doesn't always seem to get this part right. This isn't anything to do with the actual technical side of things but is, once again, to do with a lack of care taken with the rules and backstory left underdeveloped in a way that leaves some seeming lapses in logic populating the screenplay like potholes in a fairly new road.

All in all, this is almost as good as many people will have already told you it is. While it's on, and while it's building the tension and taking you through a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. It's just not one that holds up as well as it could, once you start to think about the details more.

8/10

You can be quiet here.
Americans can be quiet here.

It's Complicated (2009)

A romantic comedy written and directed by Nancy Meyers, this is pretty much in line with every other romantic comedy written and directed by Nancy Meyers. It has the added "bonus" of allowing viewers to watch Meryl Streep get frisky and Alec Baldwin act like a horndog (I didn't want to use the word but, believe me, it's the most appropriate one) while it meanders from start to finish.

Streep and Baldwin play a long-divorced couple who rediscover the spark between them. At first it seems great, but it doesn't bode well for Baldwin's current wife (played by Lake Bell) or the man (Steve Martin) who is showing interest in Streep. Hence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . it's complicated.

Okay, there's an intended demographic here that I'm not part of, yet, but that's still no excuse to make a movie quite as poor as this. It may have some older leads, but it could at least have the decency to show them at their best. Instead, this is just wastes the talents of all involved.

At least Streep and Martin get to have fun in a sequence that sees them acting like a pair of stoned teenagers (because, well, they're stoned), but the rest of the movie leaves them adrift in a sea of mediocrity. Baldwin is as good as ever, despite the fact that I could live my life happily without seeing him parading around with so few clothes on. Lake Bell is stuck with a character that we're not supposed to like, and does a good job, and there are a few scenes for Mary Kay Place and Rita Wilson to . . . . . . . . . not do much at all. Nice to see them anyway. John Krasinski is the most fun, playing the future son-in-law who accidentally discovers what's going on between Streep and Baldwin.

If you can find anything in the script or direction that comes as a surprise then you've clearly been living in a monastery for the past fifty years. Meyers, as she so often does, walks the path to commercial success on a carpet of cliches and harmless, bland moments. If a boxset of her work was ever released it could be tagged "The Beige Collection."

But what do I know? This was another big hit at the box office. People lapped it up. I won't encourage anyone to seek it out, but you probably won't hate it if you ever do give it a watch. Even I could only muster up the energy to slightly dislike it.

4/10

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