Netflix And Chill: Romeo Must Die (2000)

Trying to create a glossy start vehicle around a Chinese star who is far more physically talented than most Hollywood leads? Check. Making use of a first-time director who should be able to work to the template ordered by a superstar producer? Check. A hit song on the soundtrack that holds up better than the film itself? Check. Romeo Must Die is many things, and not all of them good, but it's kind of comforting to watch nowadays and recognise how the decisions were made. 

This may be directed by Andrzel Bartkowiak, and it may star Jet Li in the lead role, but it feels very much like a film guided by Joel Silver. You get a very basic and predictable plot, you get action scenes that veer between brilliantly showcasing the talents of Li and then obscuring those talents with horrible editing and enhancement choices, and you get a few cast members who are doing far better work than the material deserves.

I'm not going to detail the whole plot here. It's easy enough to follow, despite seeming quite convoluted at times. Needless to say, Li plays Han Sing, a man who ends up travelling to America when he hears about the death of his brother. It turns out that a couple of major players are clashing with one another as they head towards a life-changing business deal. One side is headed up by Han's father (played by Henry O). The other side is headed up by Trish O' Day's father (Isaak, played by Delroy Lindo). Oh, Trish O'Day is played by Aaliyah, and she's a real highlight in the middle of all the nonsense. It's not long until Han is upsetting people simply by being on the scene, particularly Maurice (Anthony Anderson) and Mac (Isaiah Washington), two people who are employed by Isaak.

After introducing Jet Li to American audiences in Lethal Weapon 4, it feels fair enough that producer Joel Silver would then follow that up with a leading role for such an impressive "new" talent. The fact that an American movie wouldn't be able to make the best use of Li is neither here nor there. The important thing was to get him packaged and sold to mainstream audiences, and this certainly managed that, leading to Li at least getting some extra exposure that he might have otherwise missed out on. This isn't a good film, but it feels like everyone was certainly trying to make something in service to Li.

Aside from our action man at the heart of it, Lindo is another highlight. He always is, but his presence here is enough to keep the film alive when it could have easily been dead within the first 20 minutes. Anderson is amusingly annoying, Washington impresses with his constant swagger, and D. B. Woodside, Russell Wong, and DMX all make an impression, even if they have relatively little screentime compared to the core group of characters. And then there's Aaliyah, making her feature film debut. I am sure that we would have seen many more acting performances from her, had her life not been ended at a very young age in a tragic accident, but this is definitely one of the better singer-turned-actor turns that we saw at this time. The fact that her next, and only other, film role was Queen Of The Damned is not something I will hold against her, especially when she does what she can to make that film bearable.

The 115-minute runtime could be paced better, there are a couple of weird effects that feel very much tied to the time period (showing injuries in some kind of x-ray vision is an odd, and poor, choice), and too many moments have Li defying the laws of nature, but there's still enough fun to be had here if you're after some slick and silly action movie entertainment. And then you can start working back through Jet Li's filmography to start seeing the many better movies that he's starred in.

5/10

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Prime Time: G20 (2025)

The fact that it took four writers to come up with this - a film essentially summed up as "Die Hard at the G20 summit" - is bewildering. G20 is yet another film that has tried to emulate Die Hard throughout the past four decades without really understanding what makes that film such an enduring classic.

Viola Davis plays President Danielle Sutton, someone who handily comes from a military background. While attending the G20 summit with her family, Sutton has to call on her past skillset to stay one step ahead of some pesky terrorists (headed up by Rutledge, played by Antony Starr). She is helped by Agent Manny Ruiz (Ramón Rodriguez), but we all know that things are leading to a face-to-face battle between the terrorists and a lone Sutton.

Director Patricia Riggen seems to make the mistake of relying on a very weak script here. Writers Caitlin Parrish, Erica Weiss, Logan Miller, and Noah Miller don't really know what they're doing, sadly, when it comes to the movie template they have to work with. They know how to make something that feels like a standard survival-action videogame, especially in the third act (which will feel familiar to anyone who has repeatedly battled Wesker in the Resident Evil game series), but they don't know how to make a fun action movie full of characters that you care about, or that you believe to be in genuine peril. 

It doesn't help that the whole thing also feels like a streaming film, as opposed to something with an aim to be more than just content to add to the constant stream of content. There's a flat ugliness to the visual style, a presentation that feels paradoxically expensive and cheap at the same time (don't ask me exactly how, but I'm sure other film fans will know what I mean), and every main plot beat is predictable and quite safe. Aside from some villains and one or two disposable characters, nobody orbiting the central storyline ever feels in real danger. This is complete escapism, fair enough, but a lack of thrills means that you should expect to see some impressive action sequences, at the very least, and that does not happen.

Davis is fine in the lead role though. Capable and strong enough to let you fleetingly believe that America would actually consider voting in a black woman as POTUS, when we all know that in reality they would find reasons to besmirch and reject her. Anthony Anderson is also fine as her loving husband, and both Marsai Martin and Christopher Farrar do well as their kids, the former being the tech wizard who could prove useful after proving her credentials in some very early scenes of rebellious teenage behaviour and the latter being an extra factor to plan around when it is time for the bullets and bloodshed. Rodriguez does what is asked of him, although he has to get out of the way at some point for our brave POTUS to start doing full-on brave POTUS stuff. As for Starr, you can see him poised to chew the scenery and have a blast, but he's never let off the leash, which is a great shame. He could have helped to lift this up, but his character feels disappointingly sidelined until a big finale that has him fairly neutered. Douglas Hodge is amusing, as a stuffy and pig-headed Prime Minister, but there's nobody else who stands out from a supporting cast that could have easily made room for one or two scene-stealers.

I'm sure many people here did their best, including the cast. It's hard to see that though, considering how bad both the writing and direction are (Riggen may do well with certain material, but an action director she is not, sadly). This is the kind of easy viewing choice that makes you resent giving it your time, and I hope others avoid it. If you're after something in this vein then just ask me, let me know what streaming services you have available, and I'll happily give you at least half a dozen better options.

3/10

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Netflix And Chill: The Departed (2006)

Although I had seen The Departed before, and I watched it more than once (between a cinema visit and viewings when I picked it up to add to my movie collection), I realised that my last viewing of it was over a decade ago. So now was as good a time as any to give it a revisit, and once the end credits rolled I knew that I wouldn't leave it over a decade until my next viewing. Because The Departed is an absolute triumph for everyone involved, and serves as another reminder that not all remakes are inherently bad (although I also need to rewatch Infernal Affairs soon, which I've ALSO not seen for well over a decade).

Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon play Billy Costigan and Colin Sullivan, respectively. Both are cops, but both are very different, and they don't know one another (which is very important for the plot). Costigan is judged to have the right background and character to be used as an undercover agent, tasked with the job of getting close to a criminal kingpin named Costello (Jack Nicholson). That's difficult enough, but Costello also has a cop who helps to keep him one step ahead of most investigations. And that cop is Sullivan. As things start to heat up for Costello, everything gets much more dangerous and intense for Costigan and Sullivan, and it looks likely that things will end up with even more names being added to the list of the recently departed. 

Director Martin Scorsese has good form when it comes to picking material to remake, having also done an absolutely stellar job with his version of Cape Fear. He arguably has stronger material to work with here, and an even more impressive roster throughout the cast (not to cast any aspersions on those he cast in Cape Fear at all, this just has more roles available due to the bigger canvas being painted on), and the script by William Monahan adapts the 2002 original with skill and care for each member of the cast being able to shine in their role. I'd still recommend that anyone watching, and enjoying, this film should check out the original, but this is so well reshaped towards the Boston setting and cast that I feel it's actually the superior telling of the tale (only just though). And it's worth noting that I have yet to watch the other two movies in the Infernal Affairs trilogy, despite owning the boxset for a number of years.

Nicholson may be a bit daffy, perhaps giving off an air of someone having too much fun in a very dangerous situation, but I think his performance works very well. He is a thug who at times tries to wear a cloak of civility, and he is always uncomfortable doing so, making him almost desperate for his own reign to come to an end. Damon is excellent, a really sneaky sonofabitch who you want to see get his comeuppance, but also end up thrilled by as he constantly pulls out audacious moves to keep his role a secret from those around him. DiCaprio owns the movie though, playing someone who is both tough and brave without ever taking anything for granted. You somehow never forget that he is the good guy, even during the scenes that have him participating in some awful criminal activities. Elsewhere, Vera Farmiga is superb as a police psychologist who becomes strongly attached to both men, all while remaining oblivious to them actually working on opposite sides of the law, Ray Winstone is once again a very convincing tough guy, and both Anthony Anderson and James Badge Dale are a couple of cops who may end up being played like pawns by those who know much more than they do. Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen, and Mark Wahlberg are cast appropriately, playing characters who know more than the young leads, and both Baldwin and Wahlberg (always a main choice for any Boston cop role) bring a lot of humour to the film, trading insults, riling people up, and happy to physically assault anyone they think isn't taking any of their major investigations as seriously as they should. There are also great supporting turns from David O'Hara, Mark Rolston, Kevin Corrigan, and Kristen Dalton.

As with pretty much every Scorsese movie, another main character is the soundtrack, with "Gimme Shelter" and "I'm Shipping Up To Boston" being the two to make the biggest impact. You also get the expected directorial flourishes, a load of profanity, and outbursts of violence that will make you wince. The final 20-30 minutes is an extended bloodbath, with every loose end being tied up by a number of fatal shootings and sudden deaths, and even those used to movie violence may be taken aback by scenes that seemingly dance from one major death to another.

Once again, I want to make one final clarification that I think the original film is superb. I NEED to revisit it. I used to have some problems with The Departed, mainly with the tone of a couple of the performances (Nicholson and Wahlberg sometimes seeming a bit out of place with the outbursts that made me laugh). I no longer have those problems. It all just works for me. While I expect few people to rate this as highly as I do, most should really like it, especially if you're already a fan of the director and/or stars. I now view it as a modern masterpiece. It's perfect, and I could happily rewatch it again right now.

10/10

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Scary Movie 4 (2006)

It may not be quite as good as the preceding instalment, but Scary Movie 4 is a surprisingly good comedy, thanks mainly to the material being enjoyably childish as opposed to the irritating crudeness of the first two movies in the series.

This time around the series pokes fun at the Saw franchise, War Of The Worlds, The Grudge and The Village, among other targets. Anna Faris and Regina Hall both return as Cindy and Brenda, respectively, and Simon Rex, Charlie Sheen, Anthony Anderson and Kevin Hart briefly reprise their roles from the third movie, but this isn't overly concerned with maintaining any perfect continuity. It's just another opportunity to take characters that audiences seem to like and drop them into some outrageous situations.

The main new addition to the cast is Craig Bierko, playing Tom, the everyman hero based on the character played by Tom Cruise in War Of The Worlds (and, in some latter scenes, simply based on Tom Cruise in real life). When an alien invasion upsets everyone's day, Tom tries to protect his son and daughter while also assuring Cindy that they will find each other after they have both done what they have to do. Cindy, you see, is also busy trying to figure out why she keeps seeing the ghost of a small, Japanese boy and what exactly he may be trying to tell her.

The best thing to happen to the Scary Movie series is David Zucker taking over the directorial duties (well, that was the best thing to happen until the dire Scary Movie V) and this shows, once again, just how much fun he can wring out of potentially groan-inducing stuff. The script, by Craig Mazin, Pat Proft and Jim Abrahams, isn't exactly the sharpest or smartest, but Zucker puts together a fun cast and does well with budget. This isn't a movie that looks cheap, although it's worth noting that it doesn't make the mistake of looking too polished either.

The cast is a huge plus point, as it was in Scary Movie 3, with those involved including, but not limited to, Bill Pullman, Leslie Nielsen (reprising his role as the inept POTUS), Molly Shannon, Carmen Electra, Phil McGraw AKA Dr. Phil, Shaquille O'Neal, Michael Madsen, Chris Elliott (almost, but not quite, as annoying as he was in Scary Movie 2) and Cloris Leachman. Plus those already mentioned above.

If you've seen, and enjoyed, the other movies then there's no reason for you not to be pleased by this one. It's just a shame that the next film, released seven years later, was such a massive drop in quality. Viewers should stop at this one. In fact, I implore you to do so. For your own mental wellbeing.

6/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Scary-Movie-Collection-DVD/dp/B001ECPV6Q/ref=sr_1_11?ie=UTF8&qid=1377373211&sr=8-11&keywords=scary+movie

Scary Movie 3 (2003)

Written by Craig Mazin and Pat Proft, and directed by David Zucker, Scary Movie 3 tries hard to undo all of the bad work that led to the second instalment in the franchise being such a stinker. It's interesting to note that things seem considerably improved thanks to the removal from the series of anyone with the Wayans name.

The plot is absolute nonsense, blending The Ring with Signs and mixing in plenty of references to Eight Mile, The Matrix movies and The Sixth Sense. Anna Faris returns as Cindy, the nominal heroine of the franchise, and Regina Hall is Brenda Meeks once more, but this time they are joined by Simon Rex and Charlie Sheen, two actors who do much better with the comedic material than anyone named Wayans. Rex and Sheen play two brothers living on a farm, with the former wanting to make his name as a renowned rapper and the latter just wanting to be left in peace after a personal tragedy revealed during the movie.

Although I enjoy this instalment more than any other in the series, including the first movie, it still suffers from the fact that it crams in so many juvenile, lowbrow gags amongst the better moments. The Eight Mile scenes, in particular, are both amusing and absolutely on target, while so many of the other gags are thrown onscreen to see what sticks and what doesn't. The good news for all involved this time is that many of them stick.

Zucker is an old hand with this stuff, and he does fine by the material. The script may not win any prizes but it's so much better than the awful movie that preceded it that, well, maybe it should.

Faris is as likeable as ever, Hall is a lot of fun as Brenda and both Rex and Sheen are great additions to the franchise. The cast also includes Jeremy Piven, in a small but enjoyable role, Anthony Anderson and Kevin Hart having a lot of fun, Queen Latifah, Eddie Griffin and George Carlin helping to gently mock the world of The Matrix, and Leslie Nielsen as an incompetent President Of The United States.

Is it a movie I will seek out to rewatch again and again? No, none of the Scary Movie comedies will ever top my list of viewing priorities. This third outing, however, is one that I can always enjoy watching if I chance upon it while it is being shown on TV.

7/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Scary-Movie-Collection-DVD/dp/B001ECPV6Q/ref=sr_1_11?ie=UTF8&qid=1377373211&sr=8-11&keywords=scary+movie

Hoodwinked! (2005)

The classic tale of Little Red Riding Hood gets twisted to good comedic effect in this animated movie, written and directed by Cory and Todd Edwards (with some assistance from Tony Leech in the writing department).

The film begins with 'Red' (Anne Hathaway) visiting her granny (Glenn Close), only to find that it's a wolf (Patrick Warburton) trying to pass himself off as the grey-haired relative. Then a screaming woodsman (James Belushi) smashes his way into the cottage. The whole situation is one big mess. Although it would seem that the wolf is the main baddie, Nicky Flippers (David Ogden Stiers) is determined to unravel the whole thing and hear the different tales from everyone in order to get to the truth.

Despite the rather crude animation style (well, it's not awful but it's no PIXAR), Hoodwinked does enough to make for an entertaining viewing. The twisted fairy tale may have been played out over the past decade or so, but it can still be fun, especially when made into the form of a whodunnit.

The voice cast all do a good job (I could listen to Patrick Warburton read a phone book and I'd be laughing my ass off), and as well as the main players already mentioned there are roles for Andy Dick, Anthony Anderson, Xzibit and Chazz Palminteri, but the script never feels quite sharp or funny enough to make the most of them.

Of course, Hoodwinked! is aimed at kids and it does a lot right for the target demographic. The bright colours and larger than life characters all appeal (especially a mountain goat cursed to sing constantly instead of talk), everything is cute without being too sickly and there are plenty of easy laughs.

It's not that Hoodwinked! is bad, it's just not great. It's not that clever, it's not hilarious and it's not as technically polished as twenty other animated movies I could name off the top of my head. But stick the DVD on and the little ones will be happy from start to finish, which means that it has succeeded in its main aim.

6/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hoodwinked-DVD-Glenn-Close-Voice/dp/B000JCET3S/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1368052139&sr=8-1&keywords=hoodwinked

Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle (2004)

AKA Harold & Kumar Get The Munchies.

I am, as many people already know, a fan of dumb comedy. But the finest dumb comedy also has an intelligence to it that lurks behind any bad taste gags and profane language. Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle is one such movie. I may always have a soft spot for the woefully underappreciated Dude, Where's My Car? (and, no, I'm not being sarcastic) but this movie has grown a little more enjoyable with each viewing and it's one I've finally decided that I really like.

There's plenty here to love or loathe, depending on your taste, as Harold (John Cho) and Kumar (Kal Penn) head off into the night in search of the perfect treat that will satisfy their munchies. Danny Leiner, who also directed that "Dude..." movie just mentioned above, does a fine job of making the best of the script by Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg and is helped immensely by the cast. Cho and Penn are likeable enough leads, even if the latter is a bit of a pain in the backside at times, and there are a lot of great little turns from David Krumholtz, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Fred Willard, Ryan Reynolds, Anthony Anderson, Christopher Meloni (almost stealing the show), Malin Akerman, Gary Anthony Williams and Neil Patrick Harris (who DOES steal the show).

So what are the main ingredients included to tickle the funny bone? Well, there are plenty of jibes at racism, a chance encounter with some bizarre hillbilly types, moments of Neil Patrick Harris being a completely brilliant and OTT "Neil Patrick Harris", some overzealous policemen and a couple of lively critters causing some stress and more.

There are plenty of great snippets of dialogue throughout and the film has a nice line in surreal lunacy that weaves throughout proceedings without ever unbalancing the whole thing. Throw in a groovy soundtrack, a small helping of gratuitous nudity and the potential satisfaction of seeing our plucky underdogs actually come out on top and you have a fun flick that will offend some people while easily entertaining others.

Is it worth your time? Well, it's not worthless.

8/10.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Harold-Kumar-Get-Munchies-DVD/dp/B0007ZD72Q

Exit Wounds (2001)

Steven Seagal is a goodie but he’s the bad kind of goodie who always goes off on his own and busts heads before thinking of the repercussions. For example, saving the Vice President by throwing him into a river isn’t really what anyone wants to see in the newspapers. Which is why Seagal is sent to a different precinct, somewhere a bit rougher where he can go through the fun of being the new guy again. DMX is a baddie but he’s a good kind of baddie, perhaps. He doesn’t seem to want to kill anyone and just wants to be left to buy his drugs in peace. Perhaps. The two men find themselves in a situation that involves a LOT of heroin and a LOT of corrupt cops. Oh, and a lot of great supporting actors.

Exit Wounds is a lot of fun. The script has a lot of humour throughout and the action beats are numerous and consistently entertaining. Andrzej Bartkowiak directs with a great energy, grounding things so that each fight move packs a punch but also adding an occasional over the top move just to make things cool.

Seagal plays the same kind of character he plays in almost every movie, he’s a cop with an attitude who just wants to get the bad guys, but he also goes along with the humour and this puts him in a much better light than usual (especially in a scene where he’s sent along to an anger management group). DMX does okay onscreen but I can never seriously evaluate the acting of someone who has named themselves after some kind of computer cable (?!?!?). Elsewhere, we get treated to a fantastic and eclectic cast. Isaiah Washington, Michael Jai White, Anthony Anderson, Bill Duke, Jill Hennessy, Tom Arnold, Eva Mendes and the ever-brilliant Bruce McGill. Something to please everyone, surely.

With a lively soundtrack and some great exchanges between Seagal and whoever he deigns to share the screen with at the time, this film remains one of many simple pleasures. The plot throws in a few big twists that nobody should be shocked by but, first and foremost, it sets out to keep you entertained from beginning to end. And it absolutely succeeds.

7/10 

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