Prime Time: Crocodile (2000)

A cheap 'n' cheerful creature feature directed by Tobe Hooper, Crocodile is a film that makes up for a number of failings with some sly wit and fun sequences showing the titular creature terrorising a decent number of potential meals/victims. While it's no classic, it's actually one of the better films from the latter part of Tobe Hooper's career.

A group of friends are on their spring break holiday. They decide to rent a houseboat, planning to spend their time drinking and cruising leisurely on a lake. Unfortunately, a very big crocodile decides to spend the same time eating as many people as it can. You have a small amount of tension within the group, due to one character trying to keep a past infidelity secret from his girlfriend, but all of the non-crocodile moments feel like too much filler in between the highlights.

Written by Jace Anderson, Adam Gierasch, and Michael D. Weiss, from a story by Boaz Davidson, this definitely isn’t the kind of thing you expect so many writers to have worked on. A lot of the main character interactions are slightly inane, although once the film starts to jump between the teens, the lurking croc, and a local Sheriff on their trail (played by Harrison Young), things do improve. This film may be a mess, but it’s an entertaining one. So entertaining that it is easy to overlook the highly varying quality of the CGI used to show the crocodile on the rampage.

Hooper knows what he has to do, and he does it well. He’s not shy about showing off the big beastie at the heart of things, for better or worse. Even better is the fact that he intersperses the moments of creeping stealth with entertaining sudden scares (the first main attack on one of our partying youngsters if a great moment). While some may view this as Hooper “slumming it”, the man himself never seems to act that way, instead opting to do the best he can with whatever limited resources were available to him.

Although few of the cast really stand out, Mark McLachlan and Caitlin Martin are just fine as Brady and Clare, the couple you think may make it to the very end. I am surprised that Martin doesn’t have too many more film credits, as she’s cute and likeable. The others worth mentioning are Chris Solari, as the semi-comic character looking like he has just been kicked out of a Crazy Town music video, and he just about manages to avoid becoming too irritating, and Young, that Sheriff, being a great mix of tough authority and understandable concern for people holidaying without full awareness of the trouble they could land in.

You may not ever need to put this as a top priority on your viewing schedule, and you shouldn’t pay a high price if you ever want to pick it up in any form, but it’s just ahead of so many other creature features that you can find every day on the SyFy Channel. As a bonus, it also feels like a stepping stone for Hooper to find his feet again, which would lead to him delivering a superb horror in the shape of his The Toolbox Murders remake. 

6/10

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Netflix And Chill: Black Water: Abyss (2020)

There's a difference between trying to generally avoid reviews about a movie you're going to watch and being completely ignorant of the majority opinion. I like to try and stick with the former, which is why I sometimes know when my own opinion of a movie is likely to be contrary to the opinion of so many others. But it's all subjective, so we should all be able to agree or disagree on various art subjects and still get along, right? Well, unless we're talking about Home Alone 4: Taking Back The House or The Amityville Haunting, both of which rank among the worst movies I have ever seen.

Let me start with a reminder that I didn't really like Black Water, a killer croc movie that decided to use the "based on a true story" line to make up for the majority of it being a bit dull. Lots of people liked it more than I did, and I would already direct you to my first paragraph at this point. Re-read that paragraph before you continue, please. It's only going to become more obvious why I started with those words.

Black Water: Abyss gives us the premise of five friends who decide to explore a cave system, and who then get stuck when some rocks fall and trap them. It's dark, there may be no way out, and the water is rising. And there's a big hungry crocodile somewhere in the water. Part killer croc film and part The Descent, this is a much more satisfying, and simplistically entertaining, movie than its predecessor.

Andrew Traucki returns to the directing duties, flying solo this time around, and the script is by John Ridley and Sarah Smith. Everyone involved knows exactly what kind of movie they want to create, and there are plenty of familiar beats, including a third act that has a preposterous way of placing any survivors back in danger. I know this may have some people hating me, but sometimes there's comfort in the familiar, especially when compared to a film that promised so much and delivered very little. And that's why I was pleasantly surprised by this sequel.

The cast are a selection of decent disposable faces, with identities and relationships becoming a lot clearer in the second half, while everyone tries to avoid the crocodile, plan attempted escapes, and take moments to consider one or two big revelations. Jessica McNamee and Amali Golden are Jennifer and Yolanda, the female leads, and they get some decent moments together. Luke Mitchell is Eric, Benjamin Hoetjes is Viktor, and Anthony J. Sharpe is Cash. Hoetjes is the one character injured early on, which means he has to sit around and wince in pain for most of his screentime, but both Mitchell and Sharpe get involved with some impressively tense moments.

It's maybe about 5-10 minutes too long, and certainly could have done without the irritating final sequence that feels like one contrivance too far, but Black Water: Abyss is pretty perfect fare for those wanting a simple and entertaining creature feature. It's not bringing anything new to the table, but it does everything it sets out to do well enough. I wouldn't rush to revisit it, but I'm glad I checked it out.

6/10

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