Prime Time: Crocodile (2000)

A cheap 'n' cheerful creature feature directed by Tobe Hooper, Crocodile is a film that makes up for a number of failings with some sly wit and fun sequences showing the titular creature terrorising a decent number of potential meals/victims. While it's no classic, it's actually one of the better films from the latter part of Tobe Hooper's career.

A group of friends are on their spring break holiday. They decide to rent a houseboat, planning to spend their time drinking and cruising leisurely on a lake. Unfortunately, a very big crocodile decides to spend the same time eating as many people as it can. You have a small amount of tension within the group, due to one character trying to keep a past infidelity secret from his girlfriend, but all of the non-crocodile moments feel like too much filler in between the highlights.

Written by Jace Anderson, Adam Gierasch, and Michael D. Weiss, from a story by Boaz Davidson, this definitely isn’t the kind of thing you expect so many writers to have worked on. A lot of the main character interactions are slightly inane, although once the film starts to jump between the teens, the lurking croc, and a local Sheriff on their trail (played by Harrison Young), things do improve. This film may be a mess, but it’s an entertaining one. So entertaining that it is easy to overlook the highly varying quality of the CGI used to show the crocodile on the rampage.

Hooper knows what he has to do, and he does it well. He’s not shy about showing off the big beastie at the heart of things, for better or worse. Even better is the fact that he intersperses the moments of creeping stealth with entertaining sudden scares (the first main attack on one of our partying youngsters if a great moment). While some may view this as Hooper “slumming it”, the man himself never seems to act that way, instead opting to do the best he can with whatever limited resources were available to him.

Although few of the cast really stand out, Mark McLachlan and Caitlin Martin are just fine as Brady and Clare, the couple you think may make it to the very end. I am surprised that Martin doesn’t have too many more film credits, as she’s cute and likeable. The others worth mentioning are Chris Solari, as the semi-comic character looking like he has just been kicked out of a Crazy Town music video, and he just about manages to avoid becoming too irritating, and Young, that Sheriff, being a great mix of tough authority and understandable concern for people holidaying without full awareness of the trouble they could land in.

You may not ever need to put this as a top priority on your viewing schedule, and you shouldn’t pay a high price if you ever want to pick it up in any form, but it’s just ahead of so many other creature features that you can find every day on the SyFy Channel. As a bonus, it also feels like a stepping stone for Hooper to find his feet again, which would lead to him delivering a superb horror in the shape of his The Toolbox Murders remake. 

6/10

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The Funhouse (1981)

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I just don't understand how Tobe Hooper managed to create something as fantastic as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Nothing else that he's directed has even come close to showing any sign of talent. Poltergeist has the fingerprints of Spielberg all over it, no matter who the actual director was. Lifeforce is a movie I love and hate in equal measure (the new Bluray release - here - is essential). Invaders From Mars was a terrible remake, Crocodile was average, Mortuary was okay and only Toolbox Murders managed to keep me thoroughly entertained from start to finish.

The Funhouse has a fair number of fans. It's a fairly simple premise - a bunch of young 'uns decide to stay in the titular funhouse after the fair winds down and end up getting in a bit of trouble - but it has great potential. Unfortunately, Tobe Hooper (working from a script by Lawrence Block) fails to deliver on that potential.

There are some things here that work. The atmosphere and visual style of the carnival is among the very best to be put onscreen (up there with the great carnival fun of Ghoulies II) and there are some great prosthetics used to create one particularly memorable character.

Unfortunately, that's about it. The cast are okay, I guess. Elizabeth Berridge is a decent, albeit bland, nominal lead, and she's surrounded by a bunch of people that I couldn't bring myself to care about. It's not all their fault. That script by Block is strong when it comes to the full-on carnival moments but weak when it comes to the main characters.

It's also a film that's not that scary for a horror movie. Of course, that's not always the worst crime for a horror movie to commit (as strange as it seems), but this just doesn't have enough going on to keep viewers engaged. The first half of the movie is, to put it bluntly, pretty boring. When things start to actually happen it's still not as exciting as it could/should be, with Hooper seemingly reticent to add any tension or draw out any potential set-pieces. And the less said about the finale, the better.

I may well give The Funhouse another try some day, it's certainly not bad enough to completely dismiss and I still ended up buying the impressive Bluray from Arrow, but for now I am standing with the other people I know who just didn't get the love for this one. Give it a watch and see where you stand.

4/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Funhouse-Blu-ray/dp/B004Z132V4/ref=sr_1_1?s=dvd&ie=UTF8&qid=1354078556&sr=1-1

Going To Pieces: The Rise And Fall Of The Slasher Film (2006)

Far from the definitive overview that the praise claims on the DVD cover, this documentary is still a pretty entertaining primer for a subgenre often frowned upon by movie lovers. If horror is a genre barely tolerated by some who seek to dismiss it whenever possible then the slasher film is the subgenre often most easily held up as an example of all that is wrong with "those types of movies". Of course, the movies that fall under this classification are as varied in quality as movies from any other subgenre and this documentary at least shows off the variety available to audiences.

Based on the book of the same name (which I've heard great things about but, sadly, never read), this is one of many documentary features that seems to be very much "damned if they do, damned if they don't". The subgenres and the springboards for discussion are just too deep and full of potential to be quickly skimmed over. Of course, the usual suspects are here (the tentpole movies from John Carpenter, Wes Craven and Sean S. Cunningham) but there are also a few notable titles missing. Black Christmas was probably the main one that I found conspicuous in its absence. I think that it did appear briefly onscreen but I don't recall too much discussion about it and I felt a bit cheated to be hearing so much about Halloween without the Bob Clark movie being given due respect. Strangely enough, I've never been the biggest fan of Black Christmas while Halloween has long been one of my favourite horror movies of all time so I can only imagine how disappointed real fans of the film will be.

Then we have the fact that everything discussed is discussed in so much detail (in terms of plot points and twists) that you can't help wondering just who would get the most from it. Beginners will have far too many movies ruined for them while fans who have already seen a large portion of the movies mentioned will feel that not enough films are given due attention. Translation = "damned if they do, damned if they don't".

It's a nice collection of clips and reminiscences about the slasher movie subgenre but nothing essential for those who already know their Crystal Lakes from their Elm Streets.

6/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Going-Pieces-DVD-John-Carpenter/dp/B000PMLDPO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1339949552&sr=8-1

Poltergeist (1982)

A classic tale of suburban horror, Poltergeist is just one of those films that most people of my generation saw 101 times during the 1980s, and deservedly so. It’s a polished thrill-ride of a movie, an entertaining horror film that mixes humour in with the scares and blends jumps with atmosphere (and some great special effects) for a fantastic package. To many true horror fans it may be viewed as “horror-lite” but it’s pretty bloody good horror-lite.

The Freeling family are a normal, everyday American family. Mum and dad look after two daughters and a son and breakfast revolves around the usual minor squabbles and family disputes. Things change when they find that their house has some strange power within it, something that starts off by harmlessly moving furniture (and people, when placed in the right spot). The harmless soon becomes a nightmare, however, when young Carol Anne disappears and her voice is heard coming from the TV. Energy and strange activity builds in the house and the Freeling family have no choice but to call in some specialist investigators to help them with their unique problem.

Based on an idea by Steven Spielberg (who also produced the movie), Poltergeist is directed by Tobe Hooper but you’d hardly be able to tell that. Hooper hasn’t exactly held himself up as a master of cinema, with the exception of his phenomenal horror movie that revolved around a certain chainsaw-wielding maniac, and all of the main choices here just look like they were made by Spielberg. The shots of suburban Americana, the wonderful score by Jerry Goldsmith, the smooth and quick push-in shot up to a character’s face, etc, etc.

But just who did what behind the scenes is irrelevant anyway, when it comes to the viewing experience. What matters is just how enjoyable the thing is. The cast are all fantastic. JoBeth Williams and Craig T. Nelson remain likeable and believable throughout experiences that grow increasingly far-fetched. Heather O’Rourke is angelic and wholly innocent as Carol Anne. Oliver Robins is great as Robbie, the middle child, and Dominique Dunn is just fine as the eldest, the one who fully realises how crazy everything is and just wants to get the hell out of the house ASAP.  Everyone else onscreen is just fine but James Karen deserves a special mention as an unscrupulous businessman and Zelda Rubinstein will always be remembered for her turn as Tangina.

 

Followed by two inferior sequels, and referenced in many other films and shows, Poltergeist remains a top-notch haunted house movie and is as entertaining today as it was back in 1982, when it was first released. 

8/10

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