Scream 7 (2026)

I know that I may be in the minority, but I need to remind people that I liked Scream VI. I liked it a lot. It gave me hope for whatever might come along next in the series. And then everything started to go wrong, starting with the poor treatment of Melissa Barrera, which would lead to at least one other main cast member leaving in solidarity. There was also some horrible AI campaign used in the marketing, as well as allowing the brand to be platformed on a major gambling site. I started to lose any enthusiasm I may have had for this. I still had to see it though.

Neve Campbell is back as Sidney, married to a cop named Mark Evans (Joel McHale) and with one teenage daughter (Tatum, played by Isabel May) who resents her over-protective nature. She may not resent it when trying to stay alive though, especially when there seems to be a new Ghostface in town. Someone who claims to be Stu Macher. Gale Weathers (Courteney Cox) arrives just in time to help unmask the killer, or killers, and she now has siblings Mindy Meeks-Martin (Jasmin Savoy Brown) and Chad Meeks-Martin (Mason Gooding) working for her.

The second feature to be directed by writer Kevin Williamson, who also co-wrote the screenplay with Guy Busick, everything here shows why Williamson should perhaps just stick to the writing side of things. Having said that, it also shows that Williamson is nowhere near the sharp and savvy writer he once was, having ensnared himself in a sticky trap of the kind of ridiculous rules and contrivances that he used to be able to freshen up and repurpose to great effect. 

It's sadly ironic that a horror movie franchise that so often played around with the rules and conventions of the genre is now so formulaic. There are things that happen here that any Scream fan will see coming miles away, from the technology used (which everyone knew would explain a number of returning characters) to the third act reveal. And it's an odd choice to now give two characters the "cloak of Dewey invincibility", but here we are.

As stale and lethargic as things have gotten behind the camera, they're equally stale and lethargic in front of it. Campbell looks as if she cannot be bothered going through all of the usual plot beats, Cox is so far removed from the character that she once was (albeit with good reason) that she may as well go the whole hog and just start up the Gale & Sidney Stabby Podcast, and newcomer-to-the-series May doesn't have any of the appeal or grit to care about once she ends up in danger. McHale is a decent addition, both Brown and Gooding continue to work well together, and Jimmy Tatro and Michelle Randolph are really enjoyable in the expected opening sequence. That's it though. Anna Camp doesn't make enough of an impression, Sam Rechner and Asa Germann are absolute non-starters, and it's only Celeste O'Connor and Mckenna Grace who feel like youngsters we may enjoy spending some time with. Then we don't get to spend much time with them. Thank goodness we get some enjoyable line deliveries from Matthew Lillard (portraying what should be referred to as Schrödinger's Stu).

As much as I disliked Scream (2022), I can now see, with hindsight, that it had a bit more going for it than I gave it credit for. The cast, whether you liked them or not, at least had some character and energy throughout. The motivation for the kills was an attempt to do something fun and interesting (whether they succeeded is a different matter entirely). And it felt as if everyone involved tried to have some fun (again, success or failure on that front is subjective). This film, opening sequence aside, doesn't have any sense of fun at all. And a Scream movie without a sense of fun is just a weak slasher that references numerous superior films.

4/10

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Shudder Saturday: It's A Wonderful Knife (2023)

It's a fun premise, and one that many horror fans seemed to warm to as soon as the trailer dropped. What if you made It's A Wonderful Life, but had the lead character fail to realise that her non-existence would leave a killer free to continue a murder spree that she'd managed to stop one whole year ago? That's it. And you would think that was an easy way to have a lot of fun. It turns out that you need a bit more than just that great concept though.

Jane Widdop plays Winnie Carruthers, the young woman who becomes the George Bailey of this movie. Although things have been much better for her family since she dealt with a stab-happy killer the previous Christmas, she doesn't feel that anything has gone her way. Not getting into her chosen university, not having a decent boyfriend, and not even being given a thoughtful main Christmas present from her family. So she decides to wish that she'd never been born, which puts her in a strange and darker version of the town that she grew up in. A killer seems to be building up quite the bodycount, her parents don't know who she is, her brother is dead (because she wasn't there to save him), and people are just having a really bad time of things. Winnie eventually enlists the help of Bernie (Jess McLeod), a young woman ostracised by many of her peers, and she also manages to convince her cool aunt, Gale (Katharine Isabelle), of the reality of her weird circumstances. She cannot get through to her dad (Joel McHale) though, and she cannot convince enough people that the killer may be someone they see almost every single day. Meanwhile, Mayor Henry Waters (Justin Long) is reaping many benefits, and he might not want things to go back to how they were.

Director Tyler MacIntyre has a lot of fans in the horror genre, having helmed both Patchwork and Tragedy Girls in the past decade. While both of those films have flaws, they're also good enough to have marked McIntyre out as someone to keep an eye on. This film, written by Michael Kennedy (who was a co-writer on Freaky), feels like a step back. It's surprisingly unimaginative, far too tame when it comes to the kills, and doesn't feel as if it ever fully realises the potential of the premise. There's no real sense of mystery when it comes to the identity of the killer, the "butterfly effect" of Winnie's non-existence seems to run through a tiresome check-list of the most obvious negatives, and it lacks a sense of fun for most of the runtime (if you're not going to deliver bloody kills then at least make it fun).

It also doesn't help that Widdop feels like a disappointingly weak lead. I've not seen them in anything else, not that I can remember anyway, and I'm sorry to say that they don't have much screen presense, nor do they have the right way of delivering the dialogue when it is supposed to show them being emboldened and badass. McLeod is a lot better in her role, and Isabelle is always welcome onscreen, but nobody can do enough to make up for that notable mis-step in casting. Long tries his best, helped in his performance by capped teeth and mannerisms that make him as funny as he is creepy, but his energy is offset by the far-too-laid-back performance of McHale (hey, I like the guy, he doesn't work here though).

Perhaps part of my disappointment in this stems from my enthusiasm for it. I loved the concept, and the trailer did enough to win me over. I was hoping it would be a new seasonal slasher treat, despite the fact that we're definitely not short on those recently. It wasn't to be though. I hope MacIntyre finds something better for his next project, and I hope Kennedy goes back to co-writing as he hones his craft. And while I wasn't a fan of Widdop here, I am glad to have been introduced to McLeod, who seems to have built up a hefty filmography so far mostly full of shorts and TV work. I look forward to seeing her in more features in the years ahead.

The film may not be wonderful, but I can't dismiss it as awful either. It gets a bonus point for the title alone.

5/10

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Shudder Saturday: Becky (2020)

Co-directed by Jonathan Milott and Cary Murnion, Becky is the film arguably best known to many for being the one that has Kevin "King Of Queens" James playing a Neo-Nazi criminal. It has also been referred to as a twisted riff on Home Alone, and I am sure that people have already heaped some praise on the young actress, Lulu Wilson, who portrays the titular character.

The plot is deceptively simple. Becky is taken away by her father (Jeff, played by Joel McHale) to spend some time back at the lakeside home that contains many memories of her deceased mother. It's not going to be an easy time for them though, as Jeff is informing Becky that he wants to marry his girlfriend, Kayla (Amanda Brugel), who has joined them at the house, accompanied by her young son, Ty (Isaiah Rockcliffe). Becky leaves the house, wanting some time to herself, wanting to be alone with her rage. And that is when Dominick (James) and co. enter. They want something that has been hidden away on the property, and they don't mind killing to get it. It turns out that Becky won't necessarily mind killing people either, and she has the advantage while the criminals take time to fully realise the situation.

There are a lot of people involved in this that I've been aware of before now, but not particularly impressed by. A lot of people enjoyed both Cooties and Bushwick, also from Milott and Murnion, but I wasn't a big fan of either. Cooties was average, at best, and Bushwick was a slight improvement. Becky shows that they have kept moving in the right direction though, and this is their best work yet. The script, written by Ruckus Skye, Lane Skye, and Nick Morris, is enjoyably effective when it comes to shaping the central characters and placing them in every main sequence. The crux of the relationship between Becky and her father is nailed down within their first few scenes together, their big problem stemming from a reaction from a young girl that is as hurtful to her father as it is understandable, and all we need to know about the bad guys is that they are generally very bad indeed. It also helps that there's a great little speech delivered by James that is supposedly about a dog, but very quickly and obviously shows that it encompasses his horrendous world view, and isn't really just about a dog at all.

Wilson is excellent in the main role. She's believable throughout, even as she grows tougher and more determined to cause pain and death to others. Her skill and strength seems to grow with each cathartic moment, and she always seems to be thinking one step ahead of those around her. I have seen Wilson in a few other films, but this is her standout role, for obvious reasons. James is also excellent, delivering a menacing and unpleasant character with a performance that could easily be described as revelatory. Okay, he's helped by the script and the fact that it is so far removed from his usual fare, but he still deserves a good bit of praise for taking on the role. McHale and Brugel are both very good as the adults who end up pinning their hopes on a young girl to help them get out of a very dangerous situation, and Robert Maillet is a highlight in the role of Apex, a large and intimidating criminal who actually wants things to stop before more people lose their lives.

While it avoids some common pitfalls (it doesn't try to make things overly cool, it doesn't often play things for laughs), Becky becomes slightly unstuck in the more violent moments. It becomes a bit ridiculous, whether in terms of showing what Becky can do or in terms of the damage caused to people. Watching someone cut off their own dangling eyeball is fine for causing a wince, a gut reaction, but it's also something that feels a bit preposterous. The same can be said of some other gory moments. It's not enough to completely unbalance, or ruin, the film. It's enough to knock a point or two off it though.

Nicely bookended by a couple of scenes that will prompt a wry smile from viewers, this is a thriller that I highly recommend to anyone looking for something just a little bit different. It doesn't reinvent the wheel, but it puts a funky new hubcap on it.

8/10

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Assassination Nation (2018)

Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike the Scissor Sisters? It's not really them that I dislike, they had a couple of hits that were fun and annoyingly catchy, but the way they seemed to be viewed as the pinnacle of naughtiness and wit by middle-aged, middle-class people who viewed leaving their socks on during an unplanned quickie as the ultimate in sexual kinkiness. I know that's an unfair generalisation to make. I also know that I've met far too many people who would seem to be in that category.

I mention that now because Assassination Nation is a film I view as similarly mistaken for cool and edgy, when it is often just desperate and juvenile. It wants to be shocking, clearly, but it's a film that feels tame and out of date already.

Odessa Young is Lily Colson, a young woman living in Salem. She has a boyfriend (Bill Skarsgård), and is also having a lot of fun, to put it one way, with a married man she calls "daddy". Lily starts off as a relieved bystander when a hacker starts to reveal sensitive private information belonging to town residents, but it's not long until she, and most of her friends, becomes a target. Everyone has their secrets, some have more than others. And all of this dirty laundry being washed in public eventually leads to emboldened and angered men becoming abusive, and assholes thinking they should make everything right by punishing those they see as being most immoral and/or causing the situation.

The second feature to be both written and directed by Sam Levinson, Assassination Nation has a few good individual moments. It's just a shame that they are drowned out in the hyperactive mess that makes up the rest of the film. And one of those better moments basically plays out over the end credits. Levinson obviously wants to comment on our modern habits (all of that data that can be out there for every one of us, be it text messages or emails or photos, jumping to the wrong conclusion about something and not listening to reason if it doesn't suit our argument), but he undercuts everything by appearing to run through a checklist of trigger warnings that are provided at the very start of the film. You get a great sequence, for example, of a man trying to explain why pictures of his young daughter in the bath don't make him a pedophile, all while a large crowd is baying for his blood, but you also get a plot point about Lily being fed up with her boyfriend's refusal to go down on her. There's a guy secretly hooking up with someone who is transgender (in scenes that reminded me of Cruel Intentions), the constant threat of being targeted by seemingly-brilliant hackers (see a LOT of movies and TV shows from the past decade, not least of them being Mr. Robot), and an escalation of heated emotions as more and more secrets come out (in scenes that reminded me, oddly enough, of the third act of Needful Things). Assassination Nation is far from original. It's also just a bit silly, certainly by the time it is pushing things even further for the big finale.

Hey, I mistrust the general public, when being coerced into one mass sway of opinion, as much as the next person, but even I couldn't buy into just how quickly things went from 0 to 100 here. The film may be a heightened experience, with everything deliberately ramped up to dangerously excessive levels, but that doesn't make it work any better. I probably would have enjoyed this more as a live piece of theatre, something that really COULD have felt more intense and daring, depending on how uncomfortable the audience was made to feel. As a film, however, it starts to fall apart during the opening scenes.

Young is fine in the role of Colson, and she makes more of an impression than any of her co-stars (with the exception of Hari Nef, and kudos to Levinson for having an actual transgender actress playing someone transgender). Skarsgård adds another toxic male role to his list of them (he does them so well), Colman Domingo is superb in his role as the school principal, and Joel McHale tries, and fails, to overcome the silliness of the script with his performance.

It's made well enough, and the good amongst the bad makes it just about worth your time, but Assassination Nation totally drops the ball. I get what Levinson was aiming for, and there's an argument to be made for the style matching the content, but the most important points are too easily drowned out by the cacophony of irritating excess.

4/10

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The Happytime Murders (2018)

"No Sesame. All Street." That is the tagline for this film, directed by Brian Henson, that pairs Melissa McCarthy up with a blue-skinned puppet named Phil Philips (voiced by Bill Barretta). The two used to be partners in the police force, but that was before Philips was accused of deliberately missing a shot when he had a fellow puppet in his sights. That one incident led to Philips being kicked off the force, he now works as a detective, and a new ruling to forbid puppets from being cops. But when the puppet stars of "The Happytime Gang" start to get killed off, Philips is recruited to the local PD as a consultant, putting him right back alongside his old partner, Detective Connie Edwards (McCarthy). Hilarious conflict ensues, along with more puppet killings.

No, The Happytime Murders isn't all that original. The idea of a police story involving puppets has been done before (see The Fuzz). Mismatched buddy cop movies have been done before (see . . . every buddy cop movie ever). And you can't see any puppet debauchery without thinking of Meet The Feebles. None of which makes The Happytime Murders any less amusing, even if it's never as funny as it could be. The best gags are in the trailers, as is so often the way with middling-to-decent comedy films nowadays, but there are numerous chuckles to be had throughout every main sequence.

Brian Henson has plenty of puppet experience, of course (is there any brand more synonymous with puppetry than the Henson name?) but writer Todd Berger is the unknown quantity, as it were. I enjoyed It's A Disaster, his sophomore feature as writer-director, but am unfamiliar with any of his other work, which mainly consists of shorts. He does a decidedly okay job here, developing a story that he worked on with Dee Austin Robertson, but it's still the script that is the weakest element. Although the laughs are sprinkled throughout, this should have been sharper, funnier, and perhaps even full of more references to other onscreen puppets (although I realise that would be a hell of a tightrope to walk, in order to avoid upsetting anyone litigious).

McCarthy is a lot of fun in the lead human role, quick to rattle off insults and happy to share most of her screentime with all of the puppets. Other human stars include Joel McHale, playing an asshole FBI agent, Maya Rudolph, as the secretary to Philips, and Elizabeth Banks, playing the human star of "The Happytime Gang", and they all have fun mingling with their fabric co-stars, who come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes.

If you only see just one puppet-filled comedy that also throws lots of sex and drugs into the mix then you can find a better option. But the good thing is that you don't have to choose to see just one. And I, for one, am happy about that.

6/10

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A Merry Friggin' Christmas (2014)

At this moment in time, I have no idea of how many movies featuring Robin Williams are still due to be released after his untimely death. All I can say is that I hope some of the others are a damn sight better than this one, which I worry will be received positively by people who simply don't want to speak ill of the dead.

And let me clarify something before I go on. Williams is pretty great in this. He's one of three main highlights. So this isn't a review aiming to have a go at him. It's just a review critical of a movie that he happened to be involved with.

Joel McHale plays Boyd Mitchler, a man who has to return to his family home, with his wife (Lauren Graham) and kids, in order to attend the christening of his nephew on December 24th. It doesn't take long until the greetings give way to animosity and resentment. The main friction comes from Boyd and his father (Williams). Boyd's younger brother, Nelson (Clark Duke), reacts to the more volatile moments by running off to hide, while his sister, Shauna (Wendi McLendon-Covey), is fairly nonplussed by the whole situation. She's busy keeping her kids from causing too much damage and telling her father off whenever he accuses her husband (Tim Heidecker) of being a pervert (for reasons that become clear as the movie plays out). To top everything off, Boyd realises that he forgot the main presents for his youngest son. This is probably the last year that he'll believe in Santa Claus and Boyd wants it to be special, unlike his own childhood Christmas experiences. Can he make the trip back to Chicago, and THEN back to Wisconsin, in time? He's certainly going to try his hardest.

Looking at the credit listings for the main talent behind the camera on this movie, it quickly becomes clear just where the problems stem from. Director Tristram Shapeero has a fine body of work to his name, but most, if not all, of it is TV work (including one of the best TV episodes ever for Brass Eye, and many episodes of Community). This would explain why the film never really feels very cinematic. It is, to all intents and purposes, either a TV movie or a couple of episodes serving as the finale/opener of some show. Unfortunately, that means that viewers are taken along for a ride with characters you have no time, or inclination, to get to know better. Oh, they could have been memorable, they could have been people that were worth watching, if the script had been better. That's where first-timer Michael Brown comes in. Seemingly content to line up the hurdles that McHale needs to overcome in order to enjoy Christmas, Brown forgets to create characters that are interesting enough to invest in. He also forgets to create a fluid narrative that leads to a deserved finale, one ripe with the potential for redemption and change. Whatever happens to these characters before the end credits roll, it just seems unearned.

I already mentioned Williams as a highlight. The other main highlights would be Duke and Oliver Platt (as a down and out Santa). Graham, Mclendon-Covey and Candice Bergen (as the mother of the household) also do solid work, but they're given a lot less to do. Heidecker's character really didn't need to be there, which leaves him with very little to do, although all of the child actors do enough to earn their places onscreen. McHale, as much as I like him on TV, can't overcome the script. His character feels more like an irritant than the lead, most of his behaviour is either stupid or simply stubborn (aka stupid), and part of me kept hoping that yet another obstacle would come along to knock him flat on his ass. That surely wasn't the intention.

I would recommend a number of Hallmark/ABC movies over this one, and I'm not joking or exaggerating when I say that. This was really poor, and a waste of some considerable talent. Skip it, unless you're a real Robin Williams completist (and I know there are a few out there).

3/10

http://www.amazon.com/Merry-Friggin-Christmas-Blu-ray/dp/B00NGAJAOS/ref=sr_1_2_twi_2_twi_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1418319820&sr=8-2&keywords=a+merry+friggin%27+christmas

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