Netflix And Chill: Jay Kelly (2025)

George Clooney can convince me of many things. He can be a handsome doctor. He can make me think that I need a swish coffee machine in my kitchen. He can even be Bruce Wayne/Batman, occasionally. Hey, the film isn't great, but he is far from the worst part of it. Unfortunately, one of the things that he cannot convince me of is a message that basically says "oh, look at George Clooney, isn't it sad that he has had to make some sacrifices on his way to being a beloved global superstar."

Jay Kelly is the story of Jay Kelly, an actor (Clooney) about to have a bit of a crisis. His crisis doesn't necessarily affect him, however, as much as it affects people who once knew him in the past (mainly Timothy, played by Billy Crudup), his management team/handlers (Adam Sandler and Laura Dern), and his two daughters (played by Grace Edwards and Riley Keough).

Co-written by director Noah Baumbach and Emily Mortimer, who also appears onscreen in a very small supporting role (aka blink and you can miss her), Jay Kelly may not be about George Clooney, specifically, but it is hampered massively by the fact that it has Clooney in the main role, which makes it feel as if it IS about his life, and that doesn't feel, from the outside, like a life full of struggles. Oh, Clooney put the work in for many years before he finally got his breakthrough, but those tough years have always seemed to have worked in his favour, keeping him well-adjusted and very appreciative of his success. Which makes this film so jarring. As much as I really like Clooney, he feels horribly miscast here. Maybe he has had the kind of introspective moments that are shown here, maybe not, but watching him calculate his gains and losses onscreen here is akin to watching some documentary about a monarch who is unhappy about having staff and adoring fans ready to cater to their every whim.

The rest of the cast work a lot better though, and both Sandler and Dern are superb, although the latter is sadly underused. Crudup has one fantastic scene that helps to start dismantling the tower of cards, Edwards and Keough are both very good, and there's a supporting turn from Patrick Wilson that reminds you of just how easygoing and enjoyable Wilson can be onscreen when not playing a ghoulish con-man pretending to be a record-breaking exorcist. Oh, there's also a surprisingly decent role for Stacy Keach, playing an unimpressed father.

There are good moments here, some of them are really good moments, but they are too few and far between in a film that clocks in with a 132-minute runtime. And you'll struggle to remember the highlights as the end credits roll and all you can think of is the air of smug self-satisfaction emanating from the thing. Maybe some would say that's exactly why Clooney should work well in the lead role, but the tone of the film fails to play to his strengths.

I was looking forward to this, mainly for Clooney, but also for the fact that Sandler has been on a great run with his dramatic roles recently. It turns out that Sandler is the best thing about this, and he effortlessly steals a number of scenes away from everyone around him. Sadly, I cannot recommend this to anyone but the biggest fans of those involved. And even they (considering I count myself among them) are unlikely to be impressed.

4/10

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Ani-MAY-tion: Planes (2013)

It isn’t always as straightforward as this, but the life of a cinephile is a life of finding films through various connections (directors, stars, writers, cinematographers, composers, themes, etc.). That is all part of the fun, and many connections lead you towards developing a taste for a full and varied smorgasbord of filmic delights. Which is why I ended up watching Planes, and will soon be watching the sequel next week. Planes is a spin-off from Cars, set in the same onscreen universe . . . but with the characters this time around all being, yes, planes.

Dane Cook plays a small cropdusting plane named Dusty Crophopper. He dreams of one day being a celebrated racing plane, but he may not have the ability to really compete with the champions. He also has a fear of heights, which is a bit of a problem for someone wanting to race through the skies. Finding someone willing to mentor him makes his dream edge closer to reality though, and it isn’t long until Dusty is causing quite the stir in the racing world. He’s still viewed as a novelty, but someone has to be last. And it’s the taking part that counts.

Writer Jeffrey M. Howard has a difficult job here. It’s an obvious template being used, and keeping things nice and simple can help keep younger viewers engaged, but it doesn’t ever feel as if it has been given enough care and polish. Things feel a bit rushed in the opening act, none of the characters feel developed enough, and there’s also the problem of Cook not really being a great fit for the lead role (although I have enjoyed him enough in live-action films over the years).

Director Klay Hall ensures that the basics are all delivered competently enough (there’s nothing to complain about when it comes to the visuals, but also nothing to really praise) and at least serves up something that aims to be just the right mix of fun and drama for the target demographic. A couple of the set-pieces work quite well, and older viewers will enjoy a couple of cameo voice roles for people who famously portrayed pilots of the kind of planes they portray here, but it generally lacks some extra ingredient to make it all feel worthwhile. Maybe that is down to the casting.

I have already criticized Cook, who doesn’t work in the lead role, and there aren’t too many cast members I want to rush to praise. Stacy Keach is pretty good as the gruff mentor, Brad Garrett is fun (although I thought he was Elliott Gould until I checked the credits), and Carlos Alazraqui provides a number of laughs. John Cleese works because he is recognizably John Cleese, but none of the female cast members get to make an impact, which is a real shame when you have Teri Hatcher, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and Priyanka Chopra in your cast. As for Roger Craig Smith in the role of Ripslinger, the champ who you just know will play dirty to win, he’s sadly nondescript and non-menacing.

It looks fine and didn’t cause me to feel as if my time was wasted, but I won’t ever consider giving this a rewatch. And I am now more apprehensive about the sequel than I was last week.

5/10

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Children Of The Corn 666: Isaac's Return (1999)

Yes. The sixth instalment in a horror franchise that should never have limped past three movies sees the return of, arguably, the most memorable character from the very first movie. Years have gone by, of course, and the child has grown into a man, but Isaac (John Franklin reprising his role) is still as devoted to He Who Walks Behind The Rows as he ever was. He just happens to be in a coma when the movie begins.

Natalie Ramsey plays Hannah Martin, a young woman who travels back to the town (Gatlin) where she was born. Natalie wants to find her real mother and wants to find out just what happened to the town. Little does she know that a lot of the residents of Gatlin are still waiting for a major prophecy to be fulfilled. A prophecy that involves Hannah. Some people have found their faith wavering, but not Isaac. As soon as he wakes up and gets back on his feet, he assures everyone that things are going exactly to plan.

Directed by Kari Skogland, this is nothing more than an excuse to centre another movie on the character of Isaac. It makes sense that Franklin also helped to write the script, sharing the writing duties with Tim Sulka, because he IS the reason to watch the movie. Although Hannah Martin is the dull heroine, Isaac is the most interesting character. It's a shame that Franklin the writer gives Franklin the actor very little to work with because there's still enough to keep you watching, but it's a bit of a slog.

It's also a shame that no thought was given to any of the other Gatlin residents. Okay, Stacy Keach and Nancy Allen get to appear onscreen, but they're rather wasted in their roles. Alix Koromzay and Paul Popowich both do quite well, despite the fact that their characters are left fairly one-dimensional, and everyone else suffers in the same way, with varying acting prowess to deal with the situation.

As soon as this franchise moved beyond the first film it became harder and harder to tell them apart. This instalment does absolutely nothing to change that.

3/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Children-Of-The-Corn-666/dp/B0002ISGCO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1380193580&sr=8-1&keywords=children+of+the+corn+6

Escape From L.A. (1996)

People have been getting quite worked up over the past few days after hearing news that the mighty Escape From New York has been lined up for the remake treatment. I can see why that news would be upsetting, but I also think that most people seem to be forgetting that Escape From New York has already been remade on at least two occasions now. The first remake was set in L.A. and directed by John Carpenter. The second one, off the top of my head, was directed by Neil Marshall and called Doomsday.

I know, I know, Escape From L.A. isn't a remake, it's a sequel. Of course it is. It just happens to hit almost every beat from the original movie in exactly the same order. The opening, once again, tells viewers about the disintegration of America and how a certain area of land has been made into a point of no return for most citizens. The danger, once again, comes from the daughter of the POTUS and the one man who may be able to get the job done is, once again, the mighty Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell effortlessly reprising the role 15 years after the original film). Snake is, once again, given very little choice in the matter and ends up using a one-man vehicle to get into L.A. before wandering around and meeting a variety of oddballs as he tries to reach his goal.

The fact that everything is so familiar is both a big positive and BIG negative for the film. Russell is great, in one of his best roles, and the supporting players all bring some fun to the proceedings but the old familiarity breeding contempt adage starts to come true as each scene clearly plays out as a pale imitation of good stuff from the original movie. There are no surprises here for fans of Escape From New York.

There is, however, still plenty of fun. Carpenter, who wrote the script with Debra Hill and Kurt Russell, may not be at the top of his game when it comes to the visuals (a lot of these mid-1990s effects look worse than the stuff in the 1981 film, which at least has a certain retro charm to it nowadays) and makes one huge mis-step with a scene featuring some surfing that has to be seen to be disbelieved, but he throws enough good people onscreen to guarantee that movie fans will at least spend most of the movie with a smile on their face.

Cliff Robertson plays the president this time around, Stacy Keach and Michelle Forbes are the people who give Snake his instructions and try to keep tabs on him, Peter Fonda is a wise old dude, Steve Buscemi is slippery Eddie AKA Map To The Stars Eddie and Bruce Campbell is a creepy surgeon. Valeria Golino has a small role as a woman who enjoys the freedom that living in dangerous L.A. provides and Pam Grier is enjoyable as Hershe Las Palmas. A. J. Langer is the daughter of the president and Georges Corraface is the revolutionary type that she falls in with, but both are overshadowed by the supporting cast, which also includes the great Al Leong and Peter Jason in small roles.

While certainly not as bad as it was made out to be when initially released, Escape From L.A. just isn't a patch (pun possibly intended) on the first film, but it has plenty of enjoyable little moments throughout and shows some strong ideas at its core as it weaves the basic plotline through an America that Carpenter shows to be horribly restrictive and in need of adjustment. It's set in 2013, but it's a 2013 where personal freedoms are kept in check by the government, American citizens are treated like a foreign invader once a judgment has been made and people are controlled by a mixture of lies and misinformation. Thank goodness it's only a movie, eh.

6/10

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Class Of 1999 (1990)

Director Mark L. Lester (who also wrote the story for this) was worried about kids in 1990. He had, of course, been worried about them ever since he gave us the enjoyably nasty Class Of 1984 but things had simply been declining since then. Which is obviously why he envisaged a future where military robots could be reprogrammed to be used as schoolteachers. Of course.

Lester uses Class Of 1999 to pose many questions. Just how far will kids go if the escalating teen violence is left unchecked? How many schlock-tastic stars can be crammed into one glorious b-movie? And just WHY would a robotic humanoid smoke a pipe?

The plot sees a particularly troubled school (run by Malcolm McDowell) used in a trial that involves three robo-teachers (Pam Grier, Patrick Kilpatrick and John P. Ryan) bringing the students into line and improving the entire education system through . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . zero tolerance and the threat of major robo-violence. Death soon occurs and it becomes clear that the military programming is overtaking the educational programming but it’s hard to tell a deranged robo-teacher that it’s time for them to leave. That means that saving the day is up to bad boy Cody (Bradley Gregg), Christie the principal’s daughter (Traci Lind) and all of the other warring gang members, as long as they can stop fighting each other long enough to realise that they now have a common enemy.

Class Of 1999 is ridiculously implausible, slightly dated and hampered at times by it’s budgetary constraints. It’s also a heck of a lot of fun with an enjoyable tone and “message” that seems to veer from the conformist to the complete antiestablishmentism of the finale.

The acting is very much a mixed bag. Gregg and Lind make for a decent young couple that you want to see survive, Joshua John Miller has a character who is a lot more annoying here than the one he played in Near Dark, Malcolm McDowell is solid, Grier and Kilpatrick and Ryan have fun in their robo-roles and Stacy Keach plays an entertainingly demented scientist overseeing the trial.

Action sequences are lively enough and there’s plenty of destruction throughout but the movie really pulls out all of the stops in a final reel that pits the kids against the seemingly-indestructible teachers. It feels like a cross between The Faculty and Class Of Nuke ‘em High and I’m the kind of person who considers that no bad thing. Another “class act” from Lester. Yeah, sorry about that – couldn’t resist the pun.

7/10.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Class-1999-DVD-Bradley-Gregg/dp/B000HN31F6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1390335292&sr=8-1&keywords=class+of+1999