Shudder Saturday: Assault On Precinct 13 (1976)

Although not the first feature directed by John Carpenter (that would be Dark Star from a couple of years earlier), Assault On Precinct 13 is the first Carpenter film that feels like a fully-fledged Carpenter film. It was the start of his hugely successful working relationship with Debra Hill (and I am very open to gifts if anyone ever wants to send me one of those "A Debra Hill Production" t-shirts), it allowed him to rework Rio Bravo in a modern setting, it puts a tough, economical with words, anti-hero at the centre of the action, there's the first of many truly memorable synth scores (he did the music for Dark Star, but I defy anyone to recall it right now), and there are many cinematic tricks and preferred shot choices that would crop up, again and again, throughout his career. Dark Star is the first feature film directed by John Carpenter, but it's hard to argue against the idea that Assault On Precinct 13 is the first John Carpenter film.

The plot is simple, although describing it may make it sound just a bit more complicated. Austin Stoker plays Ethan Bishop, a Highway Patrol officer who is tasked with overseeing a police station for the last few hours before it is due to be permanently closed down. Darwin Joston is Napoleon Wilson, one of a number of prisoners who ends up stopping at the near-empty station because someone on the transport bus has taken ill. Then along comes a man (Lawson, played by Martin West) who has just had the worst time of his life. After his daughter was killed by a gun-toting gang member, Lawson retaliated, killing that guy before then fleeing to safety. He then goes into what you could safely call a catatonic state, which leaves Ethan and co. wondering why the building is suddenly besieged by hordes of angry gang members. As the odds of surviving the night start to shrink, cops and crooks start to work together, with Wilson proving to be invaluable at keeping them alive as they prepare to defend against each wave of attack.

Set during the span of one day and night, with things really stepping up a notch during the night-time scenes, which make up a bit more of the runtime, Assault On The Precinct 13 is beautifully simple, and hugely entertaining. It makes the most of one main setting in a way that never feels restrictive, or even lazy, a sign of the budget-stretching that would allow Carpenter to deliver his visions onscreen in a way that would please fans for most of the next few decades. It also does a great job of creating, and maintaining, tension, even when there's no immediate threat being shown onscreen. The earlier scenes show the gang getting their hands on some weapons and then looking for someone to kill, already making viewers tense as you wonder how various characters will collide, and Carpenter knows how to use one big shock to deliver a message that nobody is safe.

Stoker is wonderful in his role, the kind of potential hero you just know is a genuinely good man, and he works well alongside Joston, who isn't quite as good in every aspect of his performance, but knows how to be cool, and how to play the reluctant/resigned hero to perfection. Tony Burton is great, playing another prisoner named Wells who might end up helping out, or who might end up just trying to make an escape on his own, and Laurie Zimmer, playing a secretary named Leigh, holds her own against her mostly male co-stars. While I don't want to overhype her performance, Zimmer is good enough to make me rue the fact that she retired from acting by the end of the 1970s.

It's easy to rank almost every Carpenter movie, certainly from this one onward, as being almost equal in terms of entertainment and film-making skill, but revisiting Assault On Precinct 13 soon allows you to spot some of the weaknesses, in comparison to the films that would come along immediately after it. Despite the 91-minute runtime, it's not quite as lean and mean as it could be, there are some performances that leave a bit more to be desired, and Carpenter would make better use of the siege scenario in at least three other movies. It's still pretty great though, and even more entertaining when you can spot so many of the themes and tricks that would help to define the best of the director throughout his career.

8/10

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Shudder Saturday: In Search Of Darkness (2019)

I watched this ridiculously long '80s horror doc on Shudder, despite being warned by people who had already seen it. It's all too familiar stuff, and ultimately unsatisfying, sadly, but here's a way to review it without really reviewing it. It's overlong, at almost four and a half hours, and there are no real insights into the genre that you can't find in other, better, documentaries. I'd also have to say that the people picked to comment range from the wonderful to the absolutely awful (but I'll name no names). What it did, however, was spur me to think back on my own relationship with horror films, and films in general.

The babysitter who would let me watch the late-night Hammer horrors while he taped all of the vinyl albums that my parents owned. The Star Wars action figures that my cousins had, that I conspicuously did NOT have (although I don't think I had even seen the movies at that point). Afternoons spent with grandparents while the TV schedule was filled with old Westerns that put me to sleep, with the occasional Cary Grant movie appearing to cheer me up no end. These elements all helped to keep movies in my young mind, but it was the VHS years that set me on a path to obsession and adoration, both with movies and with the horror genre.

My parents rented their first VHS player. It was quite common when they were new. Big chunky TV, and those could also be rented (some even had a coin-slot at the side where you could put 50p in for a few hours, that change paying for the rental and any extra being paid back to customers), and a big top-loader video player. I remember pretending to sleep while uncles and cousins came to visit and watch horror movies. Because horror really sold the format. That seems to be all my parents watched, well horror movies and films like Who Will Love My Children? and Melanie (1982).
So I was excited when I heard they were going to rent the likes of Scanners and Creepshow.
I watched both of those films through eyes squeezed tight to pretend that I was sleeping. Both intensely terrified me. Both gave me nightmares. Both also helped me move from the classic double-bills of Hammer horrors to more modern fare.

I'd already also been freaked out by TV movies such as Don't Go To Sleep and the Salem's Lot epic, but neither of those had the real show-stopping moments that were in the even more recent theatrical releases.

Move forward a few years and I get used to just trying to sit there and be quiet while adults plan their horror viewings for the evening. I saw John Carpenter's The Thing in black and white, on a weird little combo TV/radio device, and I saw George A. Romero's Dawn Of The Dead, and that had tension I had never experienced before. Funnily enough, I caught Night Of The Living Dead on TV a few years later, and I was still slightly shaken by the intensity and power of it.

I loved Halloween, was bemused by the lack of Michael Myers in Halloween III: Season Of The Witch, and first encountered Jason in Friday The 13th Part 2 (a series I didn't see again until we rented Part 7). Then I met Freddy, thanks to an uncle who had "copies" of every movie ever. Or so it seemed.

A Nightmare On Elm Street freaked me out. I went to bed. I sneakily put my lamp on, thinking I would get up early to put it off again. Yeah, right.
Mum came in and was very angry in the morning.
No more horror movies for me, she said.
"Nooooooooooooo, I'll be fine," I replied.

There was the video van, an old ice cream van converted (I believe) so you could wander into the back and browse a limited selection of titles. I rented the original Freaky Friday many times (crush on Barbara Harris helped) and kept mistakenly renting The Ghost Busters (a video with 2 episodes from the 1970s TV show, NOT the movie Ghostbusters). I also rented Children's Film Foundation movies, but wanted the genre-based stuff. The Glitterball was a favourite.

I saw The Company Of Wolves, wasn't sure of what it was doing, but absolutely loved it (still do, wrote about it in a book and everything).

The Amityville Horror was a "family favourite", and Amityville II: The Possession was wild, especially to a kid who didn't realise the third act was ripping off The Exorcist.
And both An American Werewolf In London and The Howling were shown some love. As well as The Omen movies, but those were relatively glossy and "acceptable" mainstream hits, for the most part.

And I think back on the films that terrified me, that I now can't view as anything other than wonderful horror comedies. Films that I was allowed to rent just by nipping along to a local video store and using the card held in the name of my mother.
Evil Dead II, Re-Animator, The Return Of The Living Dead. Hell, even Creepshow has that E.C. humour all through it. Child's Play may seem ridiculous to many modern horror fans. I was thirteen when I first saw it (night in with a mate, and we figured we could handle it). It was, as we described it to others, "the scariest thing ever!"

I thought I was becoming a trusted teen when we hooked up a cable that meant I could finally watch a video in my own room, as the VCR signal was threaded through to my own little portable TV. It was going to be the next step in my cinematic journey, due to begin with Night Screams.
Night Screams (1987) is a terrible film, but my memory of it is just gratuitous sex and violence. Result.
Except all the sex was fast forwarded by my mum, who was overseeing the film as it also played in the living room.
Fun denied. Dammit.

Is there a point to this ramble? Not really, but maybe there is. Instead of watching all of these documentaries that regurgitate the same information, just reach back into your own memory and recapture that feeling. Whenever you need to. You grew to love the horror genre as you.
Don't start having the impact of it dictated to you by others (not that anyone means it that way as they discuss their love/favourites). And never let anyone tell you what you should like in order to be a "true fan", or how, and how often, you should watch your movies. Gatekeepers aren't necessary. The fact you find the gateways is the main thing. Unless it comes to Jaws. Because, y'know, nobody should dislike Jaws.

There will always be good and bad movies coming out. But nothing changes how you became the film fan you are today, whatever your fave genre.

3/10

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Mubi Monday: Village Of The Damned (1995)

The second reworking of classic sci-fi horror material by director John Carpenter, this is much less successful than his previous attempt. Perhaps it's because the original was already a pretty perfect adaptation of the John Wyndham novel, "The Midwich Cuckoos", or perhaps it was just too lacklustre in all departments, from cast to cinematography, through to score and direction.

You will probably already know the plot. A small village is temporarily knocked out. Completely. Everyone just passes out, and anyone trying to enter just passes out as soon as they step within a certain radius of the location. Then everyone wakes up, and nothing seems different. It becomes clear, however, that all of the females who can bear children have become pregnant. And when those children are born they are all very similar in their physical characteristics. And they share the ability to read the minds of the people around them. Not only that, they can influence people to do things, even if that leads to self-harm or death for the person being controlled. Someone has to stop them, but it may already be too late.

Village Of The Damned is not a BAD film, not exactly. It's certainly not the worst from Carpenter, but the titles in his filmography that rank below this at least had some interesting ideas and imagination, even if the execution of the material was flawed. This is just a film that feels exactly like what it was, a contractual obligation. It's hard to think of a better way to update this material but I am sure there is one. There has to be a better approach than just taking the main plot points and including some moments of unimpressive violence and death.

I always enjoy seeing Christopher Reeve onscreen (this was the last film he completed before the horse riding accident that left him paralysed) and this is another role that makes use of his stoic nature and dependability. He's really the only lead character who remains interesting throughout, with anyone else - Kirstie Alley, Linda Kozlowski, Mark Hamill, etc - either hampered by the script or their unsuitability to the roles assigned to them. Thankfully, there's a great little turn from the legend that is George 'Buck' Flower and the kids are all easy enough to dislike, even if they often emanate an air of irritability rather than pure evil.

This is TV movie stuff when it should have been much better. It's not as if Carpenter wouldn't be a fan of this kind of material, making it all the more surprising that he didn't try to put more of a stamp on the script, credited to David Himmelstein, and either update the material in a much smarter way or use the central idea as a springboard for something that diverted further from the source novel.

It's not a painful viewing experience, but that's really the best thing I can say about it. It's arguably the worst film in Carpenter's filmography, because at least the other films that could be nominated for that title had some imagination and atmosphere to them. They felt like John Carpenter films, even as they started to fall apart. This doesn't.

4/10

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Prime Time: Memoirs Of An Invisible Man (1992)

Arguably the most atypical movie in the filmography of John Carpenter, Memoirs Of An Invisible Man is very much a studio movie/Chevy Chase vehicle that just happens to have been directed by the horror maestro. It's an interesting one to watch, and some of the special effects remain impressive (while some others don't), but it's important to go into it not expecting a Carpenter movie.

Chase plays Nick Halloway, a slick office guy who finds his world turned upside down when he's caught up in an accident that renders him invisible. This makes it more difficult to continue his new relationship with the lovely Alice Monroe (Daryl Hannah). It also makes him a target for some shady government agent types (headed up by David Jenkins, played by Sam Neill).

Utilising noirish narration throughout most of the story, and paced briskly enough to get you along to the fun of the invisibility, Memoirs Of An Invisible Man is a consistent mix of the old and the new. It gets to restrict the need for hundreds of special effects by showing many scenes with Chase visible, although it often cuts to show the reality of how his invisible self is manipulating the environment or people around him, and the plot focuses just as much on the chase aspect than it does on the problem of no longer being able to see parts of your own body.

The script, credited to Robert Collector, Dana Olsen, and William Goldman (who has never seen the finished product and doesn't know how much of his material was left in there), is a bit of a mess. It's good in the way it moves from one (non)sight gag to another but not so good when weaving between the standard thriller aspects and the moments between Chase and Hannah.

Speaking of the leads, they don't do a bad job. Chase, however, would have been better playing this as audiences expected him to, more comedically. There are scenes that come close to capturing that cheeky twinkle he does so well, and then it's all undone by the need to have him acting seriously, either opposite Hannah or Neill, who is entertainingly ruthless in his bad guy role. Solid support comes from Michael McKean, Stephen Tobolowsky (not onscreen nearly enough), and Jim Norton (mentioned because Father Ted may wish to see "Bishop Brennan" in a John Carpenter movie).

The direction is surprisingly flat, you can tell that this was a paycheck gig for Carpenter, who doesn't provide the soundtrack either. Put this into a player without showing anyone the opening credits and I would defy anyone to put the director's name to it. That doesn't stop it from being fun, and Carpenter does well with the variety of effects (showing a wide array of previously-unseen visuals, as far as I am aware, like an invisible man smoking, and also, at one point, vomiting). It's just not a film with any fingerprints on it.

While not worth putting high on your list of priorities, especially if you have other Carpenter movies to see, this is an easy film to watch and enjoy, with a couple of great set-pieces and a fun ending.

6/10

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Prince Of Darkness (1987)

A bunch of scientists come together in an abandoned church to investigate a mysterious object that seems to be defying the laws of physics. As the behaviour of the object gets stranger it becomes clear that there may be some higher power (or, more appropriately, lower power) at work.

Arguably the beginning of the end of writer-director John Carpenter's peak period (although he would follow it up with the fantastic They Live, and direct In The Mouth Of Madness before the REAL downward slide began), Prince Of Darkness is a messy film, yet it's also full of great individual moments that retain the power to scare the pants off viewers.

The script also has a number of brilliant ideas, including the clash of science and religion, methods of communication used by those with advanced knowledge, and the behaviour of tormented souls. It's just a shame that a lot of the actual dialogue stinks, with a number of uninteresting characters either trying to over-explain things or just forced to speak in a way that's supposedly reflecting their personality as they deal with the building horror.

But scripts are often the weakest part of a horror movie. It's not the worst crime. Prince Of Darkness could have overcome the poor script if the casting had been better. Sadly, it's the worst aspect of the film. Donald Pleasence and Victor Wong are the best of the bunch, although the former is sadly resigned to acting as nothing more than Doc Loomis in a dog collar. Jameson Parker and Lisa Blount are the central couple that viewers are invited to root for, I guess, and both pale in comparison to previous stars used by Carpenter. Parker, in particular, just feels like a second-rate Tom Atkins, which may make you wish that the real Tom Atkins had landed the role (I know I did). Dennis Dun is a fun presence, until his constant wise-cracking starts to grate during the more intense moments in the third act, and few others stand out, with the exception of Susan Blanchard, doing her best in every scene that she's in, and Jessie Lawrence Ferguson plays one of the creepiest characters to appear in any John Carpenter movie ever. And that's saying something. There's also a decent little role for Alice Cooper, as the mute leader of some strange homeless people who start to congregate around the church.

So we have a poor cast, overall, stuck with poor dialogue. Thankfully, that's not enough to spoil the film completely. Carpenter focuses on atmosphere and moments of real tension, all underlined by another fantastic score from the man, and he still manages to do enough good work to make this a small film that hints at a terrifying bigger picture.

It's not exactly top-tier Carpenter then, to sum it up, but it's also far from his worst.

7/10

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Halloween III: Season Of The Witch (1982)

As hard as it is to believe now, there was a time when the Halloween franchise wasn't supposed to stay slavishly tied to boogeyman Michael Myers. It was going to be a series of horror movies all tied to the horror holiday, and this film was the first entry to try something new. Unfortunately, nobody decided to give fans a heads up on the situation, which led to no small amount of confusion and resentment when Halloween III: Season Of The Witch was released back in 1982, making it also the last entry to try something new. The film has, thank goodness, developed a pretty strong fanbase in the intervening years. It may not have the slasher movie fun that the other Halloween movies have, but it's a dark film that mixes sci-fi and horror into one big seasonal treat.

Tom Atkins stars as Daniel Challis, a doctor who ends up investigating the strange death of a man who came into his hospital a few days before Halloween. He heads off, with the daughter of the deceased (Ellie, played by Stacey Nelkin), to the small town of Santa Mira, the place where Silver Shamrock is based. Silver Shamrock is a company that creates Halloween novelties, and it also may be one of the last places that the deceased visited. Run by a man named Cochran (Dan O'Herlihy), Silver Shamrock seems to be up to much more than just making treats for Halloween. The company has some pretty tight security, a strong grip on the town, and a severe way of dealing with anyone who tries to interfere in its affairs.

Written and directed by Tommy Lee Wallace, with uncredited input from John Carpenter and Nigel Kneale (the latter had his name removed from the credits after seeing his initial story idea made into something much darker and gorier), this is a nasty slice of paranoia that just about manages to keep things tense and entertaining enough to allow viewers to forgive some ridiculousness in the third act.

Atkins does what he does best, so there are no problems with his performance in the lead role, Nelkin is a cute female companion, and O'Herlihy is wonderfully devilish in the role of Cochran. He's charming when in public, but soon reveals his true face when safe behind closed doors. Wendy Wessberg also makes a good impression in her small role, playing a colleague who ends up doing some extra investigatory work for Atkins. Nancy Kyes (who appeared in the first two Halloween movies, under the name Nancy Loomis) has a fun cameo role, playing the wife of Atkins, and Jamie Lee Curtis has an uncredited vocal cameo that fans should keep their ears open for.

The score, credited to John Carpenter and Alan Howarth, is absolutely superb, almost on a par with the iconic score created for the first film in the series, and there's a jingle for Silver Shamrock that will irritate and entertain you in equal measure.

 In case you forgot how it goes . . . . . . . . . . . . . here it is.

Superior horror fare that ended up suffering due to the fact it was released as a Halloween movie, this is well worth a revisit and reappraisal if you've not already given it another chance since it was initially released.

9/10

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The Fog (2005)

A remake that nobody really wanted turns out to be a film that few people will love. The Fog has one purpose in life, and that's to make horror fans, like myself, roll our eyes when we talk about the 1980 version of The Fog and have to add "the John Carpenter one". Of course, the same could be said about The Thing and Halloween, but it's this one that rankles the most, perhaps due to the way that an atmospheric, campfire tale of a movie is turned into a horrible, clumsy, teen horror.

Tom Welling stars as Nick Castle (that reference/in-joke is about as good as it gets, folks). Nick is making a living in the small community of Antonio Island. The community is about to unveil a statue honouring its founding fathers, but it seems that they may not have been too honourable in the dealings that led to a major boost in local fortunes. As people gather to celebrate, a fog starts to roll in, and that fog seems to contain some spirits who want revenge for wrongs exacted upon them.

Cooper Layne may not have written the best script here (adapting ideas from the original material by John Carpenter and Debra Hill), but director Rupert Wainwright certainly doesn't help with any of the choices that he makes. None of the horrible CGI or jump scares are a patch on anything from the original movie. It may be unfair to compare the two, but when so many similiar elements are onscreen, and the recent version is overshadowed by a film that was made twenty five years previously, I think there's good reason to comment.

Welling tries, but he's no leading man. Maggie Grace is just . . . . . there as Elizabeth, the sorta girlfriend of Welling's character, and it's only Selma Blair who really makes this worth a watch. Taking on a role so memorably played by the gorgeous Adrienne Barbeau is no mean feat, but Blair doesn't do too badly at all, despite the script leaving her hanging out to dry in the third act. DeRay Davis, Kenneth Welsh, Adrian Hough and some other folk all play second fiddle to the the not-so-special effects.

Taking a movie and remaking it badly isn't really a major sin, despite what we fans will sometimes say. Taking a film that really crafted a perfect campfire tale, however, and then pissing on that fire and trying to serve up the wet ashes to people? Well, that's not really a major sin either, but it should be. Oh yes, it should.

3/10

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Nightmares In Red, White And Blue: The Evolution Of The American Horror Film (2009)

Based on the book by Joseph Maddrey, this documentary may not provide anything new for major horror fans, but it contextualises the genre throughout the 20th century and beyond, and serves as a nice rebuttal to those who roll their eyes and dismiss horror as something not worth their time.

I cover EVERY movie that I can when it comes to writing reviews. That's because it helps with my OCD and allows me to think that my time here, rooted to my sofa for a lot of my time, has some small sense of purpose. I'm fooling myself, of course, but I'm fooling myself while being able to enjoy lots of great movies. Horror movies, however, will always remain my favourite. And I get tired of defending my love for them to people who think "well, isn't it a bit much to watch all of those horror movies?"

No, no it isn't. It's important to remember that a lot of the independent horror movies, as well as the crime flicks and, yes, adult movies released over the years have done more to buoy the fortunes of film studios than most of the tentpole releases that we may have all enjoyed at a local multiplex. There's nothing wrong with enjoying big-budget, mainstream fare. I do it a lot. But there's also nothing wrong with enjoying any film from any genre, especially anything that delivers so many movies that have perhaps reflected, and adapted with, the culture and politics of the where and when of their conception.

Narrated by Lance Henriksen, this documentary reinforces just how horror has allowed for escapism, how it has (directly and indirectly) dealt with important issues over the years, and how it has remained a constant companion to those held in its thrall. It does this with a number of clips, and chat from luminaries such as John Carpenter, George A. Romero, Roger Corman, Mick Garris, Darren Lynn Bousman, Brian Yuzna, Joe Dante, Larry Cohen and many others.

From the world wars, to the development of nuclear power, to the repercussions of 9/11, Nightmares In Red, White And Blue: The Evolution Of The American Horror Film touches on every major event in the past century that has helped to feed into, and create, horrors of all shapes and sizes. And it serves as a great reminder of how important the horror genre is in helping to filter reality and change it into something more tangible, transforming it from an uncomfortable and unnerving mix of paranoia, facts and hypotheticals into a boogeyman that can be held at bay by a strong closet door and a reassuring night light.

7/10

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Escape From L.A. (1996)

People have been getting quite worked up over the past few days after hearing news that the mighty Escape From New York has been lined up for the remake treatment. I can see why that news would be upsetting, but I also think that most people seem to be forgetting that Escape From New York has already been remade on at least two occasions now. The first remake was set in L.A. and directed by John Carpenter. The second one, off the top of my head, was directed by Neil Marshall and called Doomsday.

I know, I know, Escape From L.A. isn't a remake, it's a sequel. Of course it is. It just happens to hit almost every beat from the original movie in exactly the same order. The opening, once again, tells viewers about the disintegration of America and how a certain area of land has been made into a point of no return for most citizens. The danger, once again, comes from the daughter of the POTUS and the one man who may be able to get the job done is, once again, the mighty Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell effortlessly reprising the role 15 years after the original film). Snake is, once again, given very little choice in the matter and ends up using a one-man vehicle to get into L.A. before wandering around and meeting a variety of oddballs as he tries to reach his goal.

The fact that everything is so familiar is both a big positive and BIG negative for the film. Russell is great, in one of his best roles, and the supporting players all bring some fun to the proceedings but the old familiarity breeding contempt adage starts to come true as each scene clearly plays out as a pale imitation of good stuff from the original movie. There are no surprises here for fans of Escape From New York.

There is, however, still plenty of fun. Carpenter, who wrote the script with Debra Hill and Kurt Russell, may not be at the top of his game when it comes to the visuals (a lot of these mid-1990s effects look worse than the stuff in the 1981 film, which at least has a certain retro charm to it nowadays) and makes one huge mis-step with a scene featuring some surfing that has to be seen to be disbelieved, but he throws enough good people onscreen to guarantee that movie fans will at least spend most of the movie with a smile on their face.

Cliff Robertson plays the president this time around, Stacy Keach and Michelle Forbes are the people who give Snake his instructions and try to keep tabs on him, Peter Fonda is a wise old dude, Steve Buscemi is slippery Eddie AKA Map To The Stars Eddie and Bruce Campbell is a creepy surgeon. Valeria Golino has a small role as a woman who enjoys the freedom that living in dangerous L.A. provides and Pam Grier is enjoyable as Hershe Las Palmas. A. J. Langer is the daughter of the president and Georges Corraface is the revolutionary type that she falls in with, but both are overshadowed by the supporting cast, which also includes the great Al Leong and Peter Jason in small roles.

While certainly not as bad as it was made out to be when initially released, Escape From L.A. just isn't a patch (pun possibly intended) on the first film, but it has plenty of enjoyable little moments throughout and shows some strong ideas at its core as it weaves the basic plotline through an America that Carpenter shows to be horribly restrictive and in need of adjustment. It's set in 2013, but it's a 2013 where personal freedoms are kept in check by the government, American citizens are treated like a foreign invader once a judgment has been made and people are controlled by a mixture of lies and misinformation. Thank goodness it's only a movie, eh.

6/10

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They Live (1988)

Ahhh, good ol' John Carpenter. Despite strong competition from a number of extremely talented people, he remains my favourite director of all time. I've tried to see every feature that he's ever helmed, from Dark Star to The Ward, and I've seen most of his output more than two or three times. In fact, I usually mention Halloween, The Fog or The Thing whenever I am pushed to list any kind of horror movie Top 10. The man has supplied me with an embarrassment of cinematic riches over the years and They Live is yet another.

Based on the short story, "Eight O'clock In The Morning", by Ray Nelson, They Live is a blend of sci-fi, action and horror that tells the tale of a drifter (played by Roddy Piper, the character is never named in the film, but listed as Nada in the end credits, ) who arrives in a city and just wants to get himself a job and then some money in his pocket. He ends up working on a building site with Frank (Keith David) and Frank then shows him a place where he can get a meal and rest his head at night. Times are hard for a lot of people so the kindness is much appreciated. While things start to look up for our lead character it's not long until a complication arises in the form of a pair of sunglasses. Not just any sunglasses. These sunglasses are made from a special material that allows anyone wearing them to see the awful truth. Humans are being kept docile and compliant by an alien race. They use subliminal messages to keep people in their place and the only way to get things back to normal is to find out where the main signal originates from and destroy the source. Thankfully for the human race, our hero is willing to give it a go, but not without some help from a woman named Holly (Meg Foster) and, of course, Frank.

As well as directing and adapting the story for the screen, John Carpenter also supplies another cracking synth score (this time with the help of Alan Howarth) and once again shows how to make the most of every dollar of a film budget. I'm not saying that the movie looks like a blockbuster, or that it's even perfect, but the visuals do a fine job of showing what needs to be shown and giving a sense of the all-encompassing nature of the alien infiltration, thanks to some canny work from the art department and special effects team.

Ex-wrestler 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper does a solid job in the main role. He's not going to get any Shakespearean roles, but he's able to convincingly chew bubblegum and/or kick ass. Keith David is always great and in this movie . . . . . . he's great. Meg Foster has one of the more thankless roles, but she makes quite an impression and holds her own in amongst all the testosterone. Speaking of testosterone, this is the film that has a brawl between Piper and David that seems to go on for half the movie. It starts off as good fun, then gets boring, then gets into thorough overkill territory and then keeps going for so much longer that it becomes good fun again.

As relevant today as it was back in the late '80s, They Live is a film that will always resonate with those who despair at the ever-increasing gap between the poorest sections of society and the richest. The fact that it has supporting turns from Peter Jason, George 'Buck' Flower and Raymond St. Jaques (who may not be as instantly recognisable as the other two, but who gives a great performance) and one of the greatest one-liners in sci-fi horror history just adds to its ability to hit the sweet spot for genre fans.

8/10

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Big Trouble In Little China (1986)

"When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail." 

As much as I try, I just can't help myself. When I visit someone at their home I end up looking at the music, movies and books on their shelves and I end up making snap judgments. If I see a shelf full of CDs by Lady Gaga, The Scissor Sisters and Jessie J, then I don't predict a friendly match made in heaven. If the only books I can see are distributed by Mills & Boon then, again, we probably don't have a lot in common. These judgments are irrational, and often incorrect, but they pop into my mind. If I look at someone's DVD collection and they have Big Trouble In Little China, well, I'd hope that we will get along just fine. It's not just me thinking this way. Kurt Russell says on the DVD commentary track (which is absolutely brilliant, by the way) that you can always tell someone's sense of humour by whether they like this movie or not. So if you're reading this review and you've already seen the movie before and didn't like it . . . . . . . . . . . . . . well, we probably wouldn't fare very well if thrown together on a blind date.

Russell plays Jack Burton, a truck driver who gets himself in the middle of some very strange business indeed when he accompanies a friend (Wang Chi, played by Dennis Dun) to pick up the love of his life (Miao Yin, played by Suzee Pai) from the airport. Miao Yin is kidnapped and Jack and Wang head off in hot pursuit to rescue her from her kidnappers. That turns out to be quite tricky when the men discover that Miao has been specifically chosen by the mysterious and powerful David Lo Pan (James Hong), all because of her beautiful green eyes. While they consider their options, another green-eyed beauty arrives, investigative reporter Gracie Law (Kim Cattrall), and helps formulate a plan that will, hopefully, lead to the rescue of Miao Yin as well as many other women being held against their will. It's just unlucky for them that they don't realise the mystical forces they will be coming up against.

I'm sure that most people who have heard of this film nowadays know a bit more than audiences who went to see it back in 1986. In fact, back when it was first released it was given very little promotion and those who stumbled upon it expecting a standard action comedy would have been understandably bemused.

Big Trouble In Little China is far from your standard action comedy. Instead, it takes great delight in taking the conventions of the action movie and turning them upside down. The most obvious, and most amusing, way in which this is done is with the hero, Jack Burton. He's not really a hero. Jack Burton goes through most of the movie either being ignorant of just what's going on or ineffective when needed most. Wang Chi is the man of action, but the film focuses on Burton, to great effect.

Russell is hilarious in the role, which is one of his best performances in a filmography chock full of great performances. Just listen to him talking on the phone after he loses his truck and tries to make an insurance claim - a lot of the dialogue is slightly faded as if it's just background noise, but almost every line is hilarious, mainly thanks to the delivery from Russell. Dennis Dun somehow keeps a straight face throughout and his character works well alongside Burton. What can I say about the Kim Cattrall of the 1980s that hasn't already been transcribed and kept forever in the legal documents that insist I stay at least two miles away from the woman? James Hong is great fun as David Lo Pan, Victor Wong adds to the entertainment as Egg Shen and Kate Burton, Suzee Pai and Donald Li all seem to enjoy themselves as they get caught up in the madness.

Gary Goldman and David Z. Weinstein wrote the script, but W. D. Richter is the man who extensively adapted the material into what audiences finally saw (it was originally envisioned as a western), and everyone involved in crafting the dialogue deserves praise for putting together something that makes people laugh so often, despite never going for easy gags. The movie is all about the characters, especially Burton, and that's where the humour comes from.

Despite the comedic nature of the material and the influences from Chinese culture and action movies of the past, this is still, undeniably, a John Carpenter film. The framing of each scene, the set designs, the music that he composed to accompany the visuals, the presence of Kurt Russell - this is classic Carpenter in every respect. The fact that the whole thing can be interpreted as an allegory for America and the way its foreign policy has affected so many countries over the years is just a bonus. I don't know if Carpenter ever intended that layer to be there, but there it is.

As cliched as it sounds, Big Trouble In Little China is a film that just seems to get better with age. I think if/when I rewatch it next year I may have to come back here to bump up the rating.

9/10

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Vampires (1998)

"Well first of all, they're not romantic. It's not like they're a bunch of fuckin' fags hoppin' around in rented formal wear and seducing everybody in sight with cheesy Euro-trash accents, all right? Forget whatever you've seen in the movies: they don't turn into bats, crosses don't work. Garlic? You wanna try garlic? You could stand there with garlic around your neck and one of these buggers will bend you fucking over and take a walk up your strada-chocolata WHILE he's suckin' the blood outta your neck, all right? And they don't sleep in coffins lined in taffata. You wanna kill one, you drive a wooden stake right through his fuckin' heart. Sunlight turns 'em into crispy critters." 

Many point to Vampires as "Evidence A" in the case against John Carpenter having any kind of film-making talent left in him (with Ghosts Of Mars, of course, being "Evidence B") and there was a time, not too long ago, when I would have agreed with that. It would have saddened me, as I'm a huge Carpenter fanboy, but it would have been impossible to argue against.

Not any more.

Vampires is a messy movie with plenty of failings, but it's far from the unwatchable mess that many people try to label it. In fact, it's actually a lot of fun in places and benefits from an enjoyable opening segment and a grand finale bookending the weaker content in the middle.

James Woods stars as Jack Crow, a tough and skilled vampire slayer who works for the Catholic Church, leading his team into dangerous places to stake bloodsuckers and rid the world of the vampire menace, one nest at a time. Unfortunately, a particularly powerful master (Valek, played by Thomas Ian Griffith) doesn't like that situation and he turns up to spoil the party, killing the vast majority of Crow's group in one sequence of entertaining carnage. Crow is even more motivated than he was before to kill off every single vampire that he can, for his own revenge and also to stop Valek in his quest for . . . . . . . . . whatever it is that he seems to be looking for. Perhaps the church knows more than it's letting on. With the help of his colleague Anthony Montoya (Daniel Baldwin) and a young woman (Sheryl Lee) who was bitten by Valek, Crow sets out to destroy the biggest threat that he's yet faced.

It's got music by John Carpenter, there's a Western vibe to the whole thing and a couple of scenes feature a number of practical gore effects that work really well (including, most notably, a great kill within mere seconds of Valek crashing the party being held by Crow's group). It's far from classic Carpenter - the cinematography isn't as gorgeous, for one thing, and there's far too much crossfading - but it's a solid bit of fun.

Don Jakoby adapted the novel by John Steakly. Many who have read the source material say that it's much better, and I can't help feeling that Carpenter missed a chance to really mix things up a bit and bring a fresh spin to the vampire sub-genre, but the film has enough decent moments and good one-liners throughout (spat out by Woods, for the most part) to raise it just above average.

James Woods chews up every line and spits it out with hilarious effect and the movie is all the better for it. Daniel Baldwin may spend the entire movie reminding viewers of why he's not the A-list star that Alec is, but he does okay. Sheryl Lee isn't the best actress in the world, but she tries her best in a pretty thankless role and she's certainly easy on the eye. Tim Guinee is a lot of fun as Father Adam Guiteau, the priest who will help Crow on his quest when Crow isn't trying to beat up on him and find out just what secrets the church is keeping. People playing the bad guys often have the most fun and Thomas Ian Griffith certainly seems to be enjoying himself each time he appears to cause some death and destruction. Maximilian Schell plays Cardinal Alba and other small roles are filled by Mark Boone Junior, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Gregory Sierra and other people with names less familiar to me.

Don't expect anything like classic Carpenter, that pretty much goes without saying, but give this a watch (or a re-watch) at some point and you might be surprised to find that it's fairly enjoyable. If you think I'm mad for holding that opinion, just wait until I finally revisit Ghosts Of Mars and try to defend that.

6/10

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The Thing (1982)

Let me start by saying that the next Kurt Russell movie scheduled to pass before my eyes was due to be The Fox & The Hound but it's been delayed until next week so we go from Disney to classic Carpenter with The Thing.

The story is all about a bunch of men stuck out in the middle of nowhere, an Antarctic base, who find themselves in a situation full of danger and paranoia when they unwittingly let a shape-shifting alien into their midst.

Here is the review that I already posted on IMDb. I'm not sure that I can say much more about the movie so this format works. I entitle it . . . . . . . 10 Things About The Thing.

1) Despite director John Carpenter also giving us the greatness of Halloween, TheFog, Escape From New York, Assault On Precinct 13 and more, this movie is an absolute classic of the horror genre.

2) It's a remake, based on the Christian Nyby/Howard Hawks movie TheThing From Another World and the story THAT was based on, "Who Goes There?" by John W. Campbell Jr. The original movie was briefly shown on TV as part of the Halloween line-up the kids watch in . . . Halloween.

3) Thanks to the amazing work of Rob Bottin it features some of the best special effects work ever, all stuff that holds up to this day. Nasty, visceral, alien and eye-poppingly impressive.

4) The Carpenter-esque, minimal synth score was by Ennio Morricone, a fact I often forget while enjoying the movie.

5) It has an all-male cast and all of them are never less than great, with Kurt Russell, Keith David and Wilford Brimley standing out amongst an ensemble cast of sheer class.

6) Beyond the blood and guts on screen, there are some interesting ideas here about identity, a sense of self and a "trust no one" attitude that would, of course, become the watchwords of X-Files fans at the turn of the twenty-first century.

7) There has been a video game developed from the movie's premise (approximately 20 years after the movie was released) and it's surprisingly good.

8) Contains one of my favourite ever lines: "I know you gentlemen have been through a lot, but when you find the time, I'd rather not spend the rest of this winter TIED TO THIS F*-&KING COUCH!"

9) In a year dominated by Spielberg's little, friendly E.T.  it was not great news at the box office for The Thing but home video and subsequent word of mouth saw it become a much-loved film by horror fans and deservedly so, in my opinion.

10) I first saw The Thing at the tender age of twelve years old. On a small, black and white TV. With a lot of static. While eating a curry. Despite the lack of a crystal clear screen I still could not eat my curry. Needless to say, that's now a cherished memory within my twisted Thing-loving psyche.

For fans of the film, the Blu-ray release is essential. Great picture and sound gives the movie a new lease of life and this is complemented by the many extras that were also on the special edition DVD release: that great commentary track featuring both Carpenter and Russell (one of the best chat-tracks that you will ever hear), a lengthy documentary about the making of the movie, outtakes, production notes, conceptual art and much, much more. 

Movie: 10/10

Disc: 10/10 

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Escape From New York (1981)

This sleek, cool, sci-fi thriller from John Carpenter is the film that really seemed to cement the working relationship between the director and actor Kurt Russell. The two consistently brought out the best in one another throughout the 1980s and this is when it all kicked off (the Elvis biopic was good but also far removed from the rest of the work that they would do together).

Russell has a ball playing Snake Plissken, one of the coolest, grizzled anti-heroes ever to be put on film. He’s asked to rescue the President Of The United States after a flight is hijacked and he reluctantly agrees, not caring at all about the fate of the POTUS but won over by the thought of a full pardon. You see, Snake is a criminal and it will take a criminal to rescue the President because the President is being held in a prison by a bunch of degenerates who want out. The prison is New York itself, walled up many years ago and made inescapable – it’s the place where criminals go to rot.

Escape From New York is just as enjoyable to watch today as it was when it was released back in 1981. It doesn’t matter that the wild future depicted onscreen is now some years behind us (1997), it only matters that this is Carpenter at the top of his game with his favourite actor in the lead role and a supporting cast of top notch character actors: Tom Atkins, Lee Van Cleef, Ernest Borgnine, George ‘Buck’ Flower, Harry Dean Stanton, Adrienne Barbeau and Donald Pleasence.

The script, written by Carpenter and Nick Castle, is lean and cool throughout, with Plissken being more a man of action than words. The direction and cinematography is as great as you'd expect from Carpenter during this period in his career, with typically gorgeous work from Dean Cundey, and there's yet another of those classic synth scores accompanying the action - created by the director and Alan Howarth.

It may have been Carpenter's biggest budget at the time but the movie remains a great one to study for those wantting to learn about wringing the most from every dollar. Superb matte paintings, "wire-frame" images of a city created by white tape on a black model, a production design department making numerous trips to garbage landfill sites to scavenge junk they could use for props, every trick in the book was used to ensure that the money is onscreen and that the movie matches the vision of its director.

9/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Escape-New-York-DVD/dp/B0002JK73Y/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1352469724&sr=8-3

Elvis (1979)

Even as we hurtle forward through time and the 20th century recedes further and further behind us, I am happy to think that there are still many, many people familiar with the work and the sheer star power of Elvis Presley. Personally, I think of him as the single greatest and most iconic solo entertainer of the last century though I am sure that many others disagree and would put forward their own choices.

A TV movie based on the life of Elvis would seem to be a bit redundant. Fans already seem to know everything about him and his life has been picked apart and dissected ever since his premature death in 1977. But this movie was released in 1979. The details of Elvis Presley's life may have been known to many but there was still a certain element of mystery to the man, a mixture of facts with anecdotes with legends with gossip. I don't know exactly how accurate this movie is but it covers a lot of ground and shows Elvis as a great man who also had his share of personal demons (haunted by the stillbirth of his twin brother, always striving to do right by his beloved mother, hugely talented and yet plagued by insecurity).

The film begins with Elvis (played brilliantly by Kurt Russell) waiting to go onstage for his now rightly famous concert at the International Hotel in Las Vegas. He's been out of the spotlight for some time and he's very, very nervous. While wondering just how he will get on, he begins to think back over his life and viewers are taken along on a journey that shows how a young boy from Tupelo, Mississippi, eventually became the king of rock 'n' roll.

This movie, originally a TV movie shown in the USA that was then given a theatrical release in other areas, is important for a number of reasons. The main reason being that it was the first film to pair up Kurt Russell with director John Carpenter (who actually makes a cameo appearance in the movie as the camera moves through a casino setting in the first 5 minutes or so). The two men would go on to make a number of better films, a few of which I'd call solid classics actually, but this is a very good start to their working relationship.  It's also important because Carpenter was given a directorial gig and he delivered, in spades. He might have then gone on to work predominantly with material that wasn't as crowdpleasing but his work attitude has always been just as dependable.

Writer Anthony Lawrence does a great job of picking out moments to focus on while sketching the bigger picture around Elvis but both he and Carpenter are helped massively by a fantastic cast and, of course, the great selection of Elvis songs to use throughout the movie. Russell is, as I have already mentioned, brilliant in the lead role. Shelley Winters is also very good as his mother, probably the biggest single influence in his entire life (well, not counting the wealth of traditional music that he absorbed and incorporated into his work). Season Hubley is very good as young Priscilla, Robert Gray is great as the ever-reliable Red and Charles Cyphers and Pat Hingle both do great as, respectively, Sam Phillips and Colonel Tom Parker. Bing Russell, father of Kurt, plays the father of Elvis and does a fine job while Ed Begley Jr, Joe Mantegna and many others fill out the big supporting cast.

It's not quite the best TV movie ever that I remember it being from my youth but Elvis holds up as a superior biopic that manages to entertain and inform from start to finish.

7/10

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Going To Pieces: The Rise And Fall Of The Slasher Film (2006)

Far from the definitive overview that the praise claims on the DVD cover, this documentary is still a pretty entertaining primer for a subgenre often frowned upon by movie lovers. If horror is a genre barely tolerated by some who seek to dismiss it whenever possible then the slasher film is the subgenre often most easily held up as an example of all that is wrong with "those types of movies". Of course, the movies that fall under this classification are as varied in quality as movies from any other subgenre and this documentary at least shows off the variety available to audiences.

Based on the book of the same name (which I've heard great things about but, sadly, never read), this is one of many documentary features that seems to be very much "damned if they do, damned if they don't". The subgenres and the springboards for discussion are just too deep and full of potential to be quickly skimmed over. Of course, the usual suspects are here (the tentpole movies from John Carpenter, Wes Craven and Sean S. Cunningham) but there are also a few notable titles missing. Black Christmas was probably the main one that I found conspicuous in its absence. I think that it did appear briefly onscreen but I don't recall too much discussion about it and I felt a bit cheated to be hearing so much about Halloween without the Bob Clark movie being given due respect. Strangely enough, I've never been the biggest fan of Black Christmas while Halloween has long been one of my favourite horror movies of all time so I can only imagine how disappointed real fans of the film will be.

Then we have the fact that everything discussed is discussed in so much detail (in terms of plot points and twists) that you can't help wondering just who would get the most from it. Beginners will have far too many movies ruined for them while fans who have already seen a large portion of the movies mentioned will feel that not enough films are given due attention. Translation = "damned if they do, damned if they don't".

It's a nice collection of clips and reminiscences about the slasher movie subgenre but nothing essential for those who already know their Crystal Lakes from their Elm Streets.

6/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Going-Pieces-DVD-John-Carpenter/dp/B000PMLDPO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1339949552&sr=8-1

The Ward (2010)

AKA an excuse to post lots of pictures of Amber Heard. I strive to provide good reviews and interesting writing here on my blog but I'm as weak as most men when it comes to the lovely Miss Heard.

Of course, The Ward isn't just about Amber Heard, although she takes the lead role and is the focus of almost every scene. More importantly for horror fans, this film was a return to movieland from director John Carpenter. A return to directing features after quite a long hiatus and, to some, a return to form. Personally, I'm one of those who suspect that the positive reception given to the movie by the fans is based more upon a sense of relief that the thing wasn't awful as opposed to the movie being all that great. Because it's not. 

Don't get me wrong, the movie is enjoyable enough from start to finish. It's got some great atmosphere, decent performances and most of the scares are well executed but the whole thing is actually quite a fumbled piece of sleight of hand. Watch it once and you'll enjoy it as a bit of fun but repeat viewings show up a number of glaring flaws and massive plot holes. That doesn't stop the movie from being a decent horror (if we horror fans were to pick apart every flaw and plot hole then we'd be left with only one or two movies to watch, surely) but it does stop it from being up there with the past glories that Carpenter has given audiences.

The story is all about Kristen (Amber Heard), a young woman who is found by the police as she watches a house burning down. To be more precise, she watches the house burn down that she set fire to. Why? Who is this young woman and what has she been through? Hopefully, she will find answers while under the care of Dr. Stringer (Jared Harris). That's if she can keep her temper under control and play nice with the other inhabitants of the ward. Oh, avoiding the dangerous spirit trying to kill people would also be a good thing.

There are good performances from all involved here (Amber Heard is particularly good but Jared Harris is also excellent). The main girls in the ward are played by Mamie Gummer, Danielle Panabaker, Laura-Leigh and Lyndsy Fonseca and they all do fine, even if I can't bring myself to actually enjoy any performance from Panabaker - who, to my mind, seems to be one of those starlets thrust upon us just because someone has deemed it her time to be classed as a "star", god forbid that people reach such a position by having actual talent and personality.

The script is okay when it comes to individual snippets of dialogue but the plotting and overall construction of the movie are where the big flaws appear. Thankfully, it does enough to keep viewers interested and involved throughout and it's just a shame that everything couldn't have been tightened up slightly.

A haunting score accompanies the visuals and the direction from Carpenter is promising, we can only hope that he comes back soon with material worthy of his talent. The scares, whether they are simple jump scares or moments that build up a feeling of dread, are expertly crafted and these reassuring moments elevate the movie to just above average.

If you were waiting for something like a return to form from John Carpenter after his past few movies (the poorly received Vampires and Ghosts Of Mars, in particular) then this may well be something that you like more than I did. It's certainly better than those other movies in terms of acting quality and the translation of the material but it just doesn't do enough to make up for the fact that the plot elements are tired and have been used in a number of superior films.

6/10

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It also costs nothing to like/subscribe to the YouTube channel attached to the podcast I am part of - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCErkxBO0xds5qd_rhjFgDmA
Or you may have a couple of quid to throw at me, in Ko-fi form - https://ko-fi.com/kevinmatthews
Or Amazon is nice at this time of year - https://www.amazon.co.uk/hz/wishlist/ls/Y1ZUCB13HLJD?ref_=wl_share