One Million Years B.C. (1966)

Take the eye-popping dinosaurs from Jurassic Park, add the violent apes from 2001: A Space Odyssey, throw in some tribal dancing from Apocalypto, narration from any BBC nature show and then add a pinch of symbolism with water being a portent for imminent danger and what do you get? Certainly not this film, although it does contain some of the aforementioned elements. That doesn't mean it isn't fun though.

This remake (and I haven't seen the original, a movie entitled The Cave Dwellers from 1940, so cannot compare - I didn't even know about it until checking out the details here) tells the tale of two brothers, both cavemen (so they have thick hair and beards, as does almost everyone else in the entire movie), who fight and grunt and generally get on each other's nerves as brothers do. When one meets another tribe he begins to discover new ways to handle situations and perhaps even a better way to deal with his own tribe. And dinosaurs fight each other or pick up some puny humans for dinner while people run around in fur pants or bikinis. That sums up the movie, basically.

There's also a love interest in the form of Raquel Welch, who is indeed beautiful (and absolutely iconic in that, arguably, most famous of movie posters), but I personally prefer the gorgeous Martine Beswick and hope other fans appreciate the charms of that woman. It's just a shame that director Don Chaffey and screenwriter Michael Carreras forgot to make an excuse to include any snoo snoo (Futurama fans should get that reference).

Poor John Richardson and Percy Herbert (who play the brothers, Tumak and Sakana, respectively), they must have known when they signed on for this film that they were going to be forgotten as soon as Welch and Beswick were onscreen.

So, you have a love interest, brotherly rivalry, peer pressure and dinosaurs. Nothing too impressive . . . . . but wait! Fans will be delighted to know that the dinosaur action is mainly provided by stop-motion legend Ray Harryhausen (though some are just provided by some trick photography) and very good they are too. It's not his finest hour but there are certainly enough little scenes in here to please those, like myself, who have always had a great affection for his work. It may be harder to appreciate in this age of such rapid technological advancement but it still retains a certain charm and care that, much of the time, a bunch of pixels can never replicate.

It's a lesser Hammer movie, but certainly not amongst the worst, and many people who grew up with the advertising imagery may well find they have an affection for the movie that has lain dormant until you end up seeing it once more, preferably on a big screen and with an understanding partner who will bravely model some fur garments afterwards.

6/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Ultimate-Hammer-Collection-Disc/dp/B000HN31KQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369586652&sr=8-1&keywords=hammer+films

Jason And The Argonauts (1963)

Jason And The Argonauts is, to me, the best of the movies featuring the work of Ray Harryhausen. Oh, there are a few other films vying for the top spot, but this one wins, in my opinion. Every creation onscreen here isn't just up to the usual high standard that people came to expect from Harryhausen, each one is a classic involved in a classic sequence.

The story is all about Jason (Todd Armstrong playing the Greek hero) and his crew of good men braving the perils that stand in their way as they sail away on the Argo to seek the legendary Golden Fleece. They are alternately helped and hindered by gods (mainly Zeus, played by Niall MacGinnis, and Hera, played by Honor Blackman) as they face the mighty statue of Talos, some horrible harpies, clashing rocks, unexpected treachery and much more.

Pretty much essential viewing if you're a fan of sword 'n' sorcery movies, Jason And The Argonauts only makes one or two minor mis-steps on its fantastic journey. The fact that the whole thing is a game being played out by the gods is one annoyance (especially when the real reason for the quest is forgotten) and the very final moments of the film prove, perhaps inevitably, anti-climactic after such a memorable sequence involving battling skeletons brought to life from the teeth of the Hydra.

The acting from all concerned is just fine. Todd Armstrong may not be the most memorable leading man, but he puts himself over as a good, kind leader. MacGinnis and Blackman are fun as the two main gods keeping an eye on the quest, Nigel Green is fine as Hercules, despite his limited screentime, Gary Raymond is okay as Acastus (the son of an enemy who has managed to get himself in the crew) and Laurence Naismith gets to play the man who built the Argo. There's also the lovely Nancy Kovack, who arrives just in time to fall for Jason and become involved in the big finale.

Director Don Chaffey does a good job, working from the screenplay by Beverley Cross and Jan Read, and there's very little to fault. The pacing is perfect, the dialogue does what is required, and everything is designed to move the characters from one spectacular set-piece to the next. For me, this remains the pinnacle of Ray Harryhausen's work, despite strong competition from those Sinbad movies, and if you haven't seen it already then I suggest you get to it as soon as possible. It's held up as a classic of the fantasy genre for good reason, because it IS one.

9/10

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Would I really end with any other screenshot???