Dante's Peak (1997)

While Dante's Peak may be a film remembered more fondly than Volcano nowadays, it's worth noting that it was . . . also viewed a bit more fondly by many people back in 1997, the year or the competing volcano blockbusters. It also made more money in cinemas. Basically, Dante's Peak was to Volcano what Armageddon was to Deep Impact (although I would argue that the latter at least had some critics praising it for the more serious approach to the material).

Pierce Brosnan is Harry Dalton, the volcanologist who ends up in the small town of Dante's Peak. Linda Hamilton is Rachel Wando, the mayor, and also mother to a boy and a girl (played by Jeremy Foley and Jamie Renée Smith, respectively). It seems clear to Harry that something bad is going to happen in Dante's Peak very soon, but he struggled to get others to agree with him. To paraphrase another, much better, film: "You say tectonic plate disturbance and people go huh, what, but you yell volcanic eruption and you've got a panic on your hands on the fourth of July."

Written by Leslie Bohem, this is very standard disaster movie stuff. Our hero is shown in an opening sequence being devastated and scarred by a big event that viewers will know is due to recur before the end credits roll, the supporting characters are often given just enough screentime to make their potential demise at least slightly saddening, and everything is set up to allow some impressive special effects to dominate most of the third act.

I was going to say that it's not the most typical film from director Roger Donaldson, but a brief reminder of his filmography has shown me that there is no typical film from him. He's happily jumped around various genres throughout his career, and Dante's Peak shows him very comfortable to lean into the expected tropes of this particular sub-genre, helped by two leads who are happy to coast by on their charm and chemistry until they have to take a back seat to the VFX.

Despite his Bond schedule, Brosnan did well to deliver a decent selection of memorable star turns throughout the latter half of the 1990s, and this is right up there with the best of them. It's nowhere near his best film, nor is it near his best acting, but he holds your attention well as both Bohem and Donaldson try their best to build tension before allowing their volcano to erupt. Hamilton works brilliantly with her leading man, and she's able to portray her mayor character as someone who is also a busy single mother without it all seeming too patronising and cringe-inducing. Smith and Foley have to be tolerable until they're put in peril, which they do, and enjoyable turns come from Elizabeth Hoffman, Charles Hallahan, Grant Heslov, and Peter Jason, among others.

There are better disaster movies, if that's what you're in the mood for, but I cannot think of any better volcano movies. We might get something superior further down the line, but for now . . . this is the best you can hope for. It's silly, it's predictable, I doubt much of the movie science holds up under scrutiny, but it's enjoyably cheesy blockbuster entertainment.

6/10

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Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

Never you mind those other Terminator sequels, THIS is the one true sequel to the first two movies. This is the timeline to stick with. This is the film that will right any wrongs from previous instalments. That's what James Cameron would like you to believe anyway. And some people might have believed him, there's always a slim chance, but most of us had been burned before, with a lot of the same positive soundbites being used to sell increasingly inferior sci-fi action movies that were always suffering from a lack of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

The good thing is that this will be, for many, better than Terminator Genisys (although that's not a high benchmark to surpass). I still slightly prefer the previous instalment, but that's just me. The other good thing is that this has a decent amount of screentime for Schwarzenegger. There are some more positives, but not enough to quite outweigh the negatives.

Fate has been changed, and humanity may be safe. To a degree. There will still be a war, deadly machines will still want to kill off the human race, but at least everyone may have avoided judgment day, thanks to the actions of Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton). Which just means that it's time for a new person to become the prey (this time it's Dani Ramos, played by Natalia Reyes), a new protector to help her (an augmented human, Grace, played by Mackenzie Davis), and a newer type of robo-killer (REV-9, played by Gabriel Luna, a terminator that can operate his fluid exterior and metal endoskeleton independently of one another, if necessary). Sarah Connor ends up helping Dani and Grace, as does a surprisingly domesticated T-808 (Arnie).

Tim Miller is the man trusted to direct the action this time around, working from a script by David S. Goyer, Justin Rhodes, and Billy Ray, and something becomes clear within the first 10-15 minutes. This has been created to remind you of how much you love the second Terminator movie. That's all I can think of anyway. There's no other reason to have such poor CGI on display (the first main action sequence in a factory setting is an embarrassment of rich embarrassments), and to kick things off with a sequence that essentially feels like a gauntlet being thrown down that it doesn't deserve to have grappled hold of in the first place.

Things do pick up after the first act, but it's a bit too little too late, and relies on a hell of a lot of goodwill, and NO moments of overthinking things, from the viewer. Paradoxes and illogical moments abound, while characters range from the horribly bland (Dani, the REV-9) to the horribly malformed by the needs of the script (Connor, the T-808). Grace is the high point, which is mainly thanks to the sheer willpower of the talented Mackenzie Davis.

I am struggling to think of those who will find this anything more than a sci-fi action flick with a couple of ridiculous set-pieces (most of the third act is chock full of the kind of action that relies on every viewer not just suspending disbelief, but deliberately forgetting how any physical forces around us actually work). Newcomers won't get the references, those who have enjoyed the series from the first film will wish they weren't getting the references, and everyone will be happy enough if this is the last ever attempt to yet again keep wringing money from something that became irrelevant at least a decade ago.

5/10

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Bonus Review: Bermuda Tentacles (2014)

It's a movie made for the SyFy Channel. It's made by The Asylum. Yes folks, roll up your sleeves. Things are about to get a bit bumpy. People who know me, or have read enough of my reviews, will know that I have a soft spot for these movies. I equate them to the cheap 'n' cheerful b-movies of yesteryear, with crappy CGI replacing dodgy practical effects. But even I'm willing to admit that the output from The Asylum is rarely actually good, in the traditional sense, and they sometimes churn out some real stinkers. In fact, most of their movies look as if they could have been developed from the fake trailers in Tropic Thunder.

No need to beat about the bush here. Bermuda Tentacles is one of their stinkers. The plot is so laughable that you may not believe it, but I'll cover the basics anyway. Air Force One gets into a bit of trouble over the sea, forcing the President Of The United States to eject in an emergency pod. A number of Navy vessels appear some time later, with orders to rescue the POTUS, and find themselves attacked by huge creatures that resemble overgrown flukeworms. It turns out that those creatures are actually connected to something much bigger, something that may have been causing so many disappearances over the waters of Bermuda for many years.

When watching any movie from The Asylum, it's always useful to remember a few key points. First of all, they have three different main sets they like to use. One is an all-purpose warehouse, which can double as a lab, military facility, prison, etc. The second is a ship/submarine/aeroplane - all vehicles which can be created with handy use of pipes, monitors, and machines that go ping. The third, and final, main set they use is an alien craft.
Second thing to bear in mind, they always try to get some big names to place in key roles. In Bermuda Tentacle we get Linda Hamilton as an Admiral, Jamie Kennedy as a Doctor (god help us all), and . . . . . . . . Mya as a Lieutenant. If you don't know who Mya is, she was the one who made you ask "who the hell is that?" in the all-star cover of Lady Marmalade that appeared up on the Moulin Rouge soundtrack. None of those people are the real hero of the hour, however, as that honour goes to Trevor Donovan, playing the kind of tough military man who can defy orders if he thinks he has a better way to approach the situation.
Last, but not least, remember that most of the movie will be made up of the aforementioned crappy CGI, repeated use of any "money shots", and many scenes horribly padded out to ensure that they outstay their welcome within moments.

The acting on display here isn't great, with everyone stuck belting out cliches from the script (written by Geoff Meed). The direction from Nick Lyon is barely okay, and that's me being kind. The whole movie is just a bit of a mess, starting off at a quick pace and then having to tread water, no pun intended, for the next hour or so. If you can watch this movie and care about the outcome by the time the third act comes around then you're a better viewer than I am.

3/10

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Children Of The Corn (1984)

Linda Hamilton and Peter Horton play a young couple who end up stranded in a small, isolated American town that has actually been taken over by the children and doesn't tolerate the presence of adults. This is largely due to the preachings of young Isaac (John Franklin - AKA the scariest kid on screen ever) and the enforcement of rules by his main henchman, Malachai (Courtney Gains - AKA second-scariest kid on screen ever). The situation goes from bad to worse for the adults and it's a tense battle of wits to see if they can save themselves from being sacrificed to the mighty corn god.

Adapted from a short story by Stephen King, this horror movie impresses more than it should thanks to its central subject matter - killer kids. You can do a lot in horror movies but you rarely show animal cruelty or child fatalities, those are just major no-nos in mainstream horrors, so having a bunch of kids out to kill adults and being retaliated against is refreshing in itself. Things are helped immensely by the fact that all of the young actors are very good (with Franklin and Gains being the most memorable) and Hamilton and Horton aren't too bad either.

Narration is provided by a youngster (played by Robby Kiger) and this is quite a big negative point, it just feels lazy and the viewpoint and speech used is now more than a little cliche when in the context of a Stephen King story.

Okay, so the short story, made into a screenplay by George Goldsmith, doesn't really provide enough decent material for director Fritz Kiersch to make a classic and there's definitely a sagging middle section but you also get a fantastically eerie opening sequence, some goosebumps raised every time Isaac preaches, decent tension throughout despite the diminutive size of the baddies and even an okay ending only really marred by the budgetary limitations that are so obvious in the special effects of the climax.

Looking slightly deeper into the material, whether it's intended or not (and I think it is), you also have an interesting look at religious dogma, how it is interpreted and preached to others in a way that can cause great harm if not questioned or kept in check. In fact, this is a cult movie in every sense.

It's a fun horror - no more, no less - and one that my nostalgic fondness for is shown in my, admittedly generous, rating.

P.S. I have yet to see ANY of the sequels but they will be viewed and the reviews appearing here very soon, for better or worse.

7/10

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Children-The-Corn-Boxset-3-DVD/dp/B0046YWTV4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1345456988&sr=8-1